People's Craziest 'You Can't Eat At Everyone's House' Experiences
Reddit user 195901 asked: 'What is your “can’t eat at everybody’s house” horror story?'
We've all heard the phrase, "You can't eat at everybody's house," but some of us have a few examples of our own to live by.
From not properly cleaning the environment to questionable hygiene ourselves, there are countless reasons why a person may not want to eat what you've cooked after watching you prepare it.
Bracing themselves, Redditor 195901 asked:
"What is your 'you can't eat at everybody's house' horror story?"
Fly Spray Sandwiches
"I told my dad my sandwich tasted like fly spray at my grandma's house. He didn’t believe me."
"Two days later, I caught my grandma spraying the benches 'clean' with the two-dollar fly spray you find at the cheap store."
"Dad figured it was safe to make sandwiches straight on the countertop because they looked clean. I dragged him over to see and he apologized and took my sister and me for fish and chips for lunch."
- littlehungrygiraffe
Special Seasoning Deviled Eggs
"My crackpot aunt served us a lovely tray of deviled eggs, complete with very old paprika sprinkled on top. So old, in fact, the many weevils mixed in it were dead."
- PhoneboothLynn
A Disturbing Surprise
"I visited a friend's house who was living with his mother, and she asked if I wanted a coffee and I said I would."
"Upon getting to the bottom of the cup and taking the last few gulps, I found there was a used bandaid stuck to the bottom… I never ate or drank there again."
- MrRailton
In Need of Child Protective Services
"I was babysitting a kid in a pretty dirty house. I was told to wake him up, supervise bathing and changing clothes, and feed him. I was welcome to whatever was in the fridge. Okay. The house and his clothes were filthy."
"Then, when I opened the cabinets, floods of roaches poured out. There were roaches in every opened box and container."
"I took him back to my house and returned him later that day. I hope the boy ended up in a better situation. I found out CPS (Child Protective Services) got involved shortly after."
- Alltheprettydresses
Traumatized by Raisins
"I was gonna complain about raisins in the potato salad but the other comments on here are scary. Oh my god."
- tcumber
"When I was a young kid, I stayed over at a friend's place, and his mom made veal or something with godd**n raisins INSIDE the meat somehow. It was so nasty, I never forgot it."
- User2716057
You WISH That Was Vinegar
"My MIL fished around in the green bin (compost bin) with her bare hands, didn't wash them, WIPED her GARBAGE JUICE HANDS on the tea towel, and then WENT BACK TO PREPPING THE SALAD."
"She also got horrifically offended if I didn't want to eat at her house."
- 116843189
Poor Home Hygiene
"My first boyfriend’s parents invited me for Thanksgiving. I came over a few days before Christmas and all the same dirty dishes from Thanksgiving were still in the kitchen. I passed on coming over for Christmas dinner."
- MinimalistHomestead
Every Surface Covered
"I went to a friend's house after school, he was going to teach a group of us to play D&D (Dungeons and Dragons)."
"We got there and his house was disgusting. I'm not the neatest person but the carpet hadn't been vacuumed in forever, clothes were all over the place, and dirty dishes were stacked everywhere."
"I tried to be polite even though the place reeked, but at some point, he was like, 'Who wants snacks!'"
"He picked up a bowl that was crusted with stuff, splashed in some water, wiped it with a towel that clearly hadn't been washed that decade, and poured chips into it. Then he asked if we wanted to stay for dinner. We did not."
- KnittinAndB***hin
O Holy Expiration Dates
"When I was a kid, Christmas Eve was always celebrated at Grandma's. I always got sick afterward. Like, Merry Christmas, you're going to puke now."
"It wasn't until I was all grown up and helping her out in the last weeks of her life that I learned why. She did not believe in expiration dates on anything!"
- SundayMorningTrisha
An Immune System to Remember
"My grandma made me a food phobic from a young age. Whether it was ramen with moths floating on top, or chunky milk in my cereal, it just scarred me for life."
"Dinner at her house was always a fight. Not eating her food was not an option. I'm not sure why that was the hill she would always choose to die on, because she was an amazing grandma other than this."
"Expiration dates aren't a thing. If the cheese was moldy, you cut it off... I think living through the great depression and raising kids in poverty changed her mindset on food."
"I mean obviously, she's doing something right because she's 91. She must have the immunity of a superhero."
- tha_stormin_mormon
Neighborly Love
"I used to help an old neighbor out with grocery shopping, I’d drop the bags at her door and she’d give me a check for the amount of groceries. She’d give me homemade cookies once in a while, chocolate chips."
"I didn’t ever eat them because one time I caught sight of her apartment. It was a large studio, a small kitchen, and tv, and a bed/couch. And there were about 20 cans of cat food, half-eaten, and one million flies and small maggots in different stages of growth, dishes with crusty food stuck to them, and a wall of empty beer cans."
"After I saw that, and got a whiff of her apartment, I started helping her with taking garbage out and putting groceries away, cleaning out her fridge, and making sure her cat was healthy."
"A couple of months later, she got the virus, ended up at a rehab facility, and passed within two weeks."
"Some people need help and a little company…"
- SnooPeripherals6557
No Longer Rice
"A girl I was interested in at the time had cats. I came to her house one day to pick her up for a date and he had a large sack of rice open in her pantry with the pantry door open."
"One of the cats hopped out of the sack of rice and she just casually laughed at it like, 'Oh, they are always getting into things.'"
"I came over the following weekend that SAME sack of rice was in the pantry and I could hear one of them tussling around in it again, we stopped dating sometime after that but anytime she offered to cook for me I immediately pivoted to taking her out to eat instead."
- justad**nfool
"Those cats probably used it as litter."
- Anonymanx
"Yeah, that was my fear."
- justad**nfool
Could Have Warned Her
"My mom told me one about going over to her aunt Virginia's house. She, her parents, and her siblings were sat around the kitchen while her aunt cooked, and my mom could not figure out why no one else was having ANY of this incredibly delicious bread that was on the table."
"She was on her third slice when her aunt stepped out to do something else, and my mom was told by her brother to go look in the flour bin."
"It was absolutely filled with miller moth larvae. Aunt Virginia had been losing her eyesight for years."
- smoothiefruit
"It's f**ked of her parents not to warn her not to eat the bread... like, what the f**k, you KNOW the bread isn't safe, so you're not eating it, but you're fine with letting your daughter have three slices?"
- whydontthissitework
Bad to the Point of Malnutrition
"I graduated high school at 6' 10" tall, but weighing only 120 pounds."
"That's not skinny, that's emaciated."
"The food prepared by my bio-mom was so bad that it wasn't providing me with the nutrients or calories I needed to survive. I went off to college where I had to cook for myself (I wasn't allowed to cook at home because my father insisted that "cooking was women's work")."
"Not only did I discover that food didn't have to be burnt to a crisp, flavorless, or boiled until everything was grey. I also discovered that food can be made to taste good, and using things like salt, or pepper, spices, or various condiments can make it taste amazing."
"The "freshman 15" likely saved my life."
"The thing is, I don't think that my biomom was even aware that her food was that disgusting. Whenever we went out for dinner (which was more often than what my father wanted, but he was the one who insisted on going), she did nothing but complain about how the food was undercooked, 'practically raw,' or 'too spicy,' to eat."
"When she went to other people's houses (including her own extended family) she would criticize them for 'doing it wrong' when she watched them cook anything. She would often end up refusing to eat their food because she 'watched them ruin it,' when they cooked it. We never had guests over to eat her cooking. Ever."
- Galaxy_Ranger_Bob
Clean Hands
"We have a chili contest every year at work around Thanksgiving and I've stopped participating in voting for it because I want to know whose I'm eating before taking any. I work with some great people, but I wouldn't eat at or anything from their house. Strangely enough, the guy I absolutely despise I'll gladly eat his chili because he is clean and well kept and I know his house is."
"I also work with a bunch of people who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom in any capacity and we've secretly kept a list so to avoid any potlucks where they take food or to get food before they do."
- SafewordisJohnCandy
We're left with chills after reading these stories.
Where some people might make some mistakes in the kitchen out of just not knowing, like not properly washing rice before cooking it, most of these are just careless mistakes that have disgusting, if not dangerous, results.
There is no feeling more frustrating than saving up for a fancy, expensive dinner at a restaurant everyone's been talking about, which you had to book months in advance, only to sit down to a very underwhelming meal.
What makes this all the more infuriating, is that there was absolutely nothing to suggest that this might happen, as the five star yelp reviews and sky-high prices suggested you were in for a treat.
Thankfully, there can be signs that certain restaurants aren't worth spending your money at.
Be it a grungy facade, a menu that seems a little too eclectic, or a less than welcoming greeting from a host, sometimes it's clear that you're bound to have a much better meal at your local greasy spoon than you are at certain restaurants.
"What is a Red Flag that you are in a bad restaurant?"
When They Just Can't Be Bothered...
"The restaurant isn't even busy but they take ages to serve you, and when they finally do they seem reluctant."- peculiar-pirate
coffee pouring GIF by South Park GiphyQuality Over Quantity
"Long menu."
"Pages and pages of food that doesn’t really make sense or go together."- blackaubreyplaza
"Sushi, pizza, AND burritos are ALL on the menu."- financialfreeabroad
"Huge, unfocused menu."- TheWarDoctor
Lets Eat Reaction GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphyLack Of Authenticity
"Ethnic restaurant with no customers of that ethnicity in a town with a large population of that ethnicity."- baronvonbee
Don't Be Fooled By It's Appearance
"I've eaten at ratholes with amazing food and had terrible food at nice steakhouses, both can have people cooking for minimum wage and bad management."
"If it's a small ethnic restaurant and you see kids doing homework at one of the tables; try the food, it's always good."-Dizzy-Particular-258
It's All About The Food
"It’s sometimes difficult to tell until you try the food."
"There’s a restaurant in my town that is consistently crowded."
"Fairly expensive."
"My wife and I went there and waited a few minutes for a table."
"Restaurant was dirty, food tasted stale, and my wife happened to walk by the kitchen and see like 6 microwaves on a table heating stuff up."- jonahvsthewhale
kitchen nightmares amy GIF by Global EntertainmentGiphyOne Unwanted Guest
"The very moment Gordon Ramsay appears and calls the employees f*cking donkeys."- Ch*ist_Hater666
When The Ambiance Is Anything But Romantic
"Bad lighting or sticky tables."- trashbagbum
"Dirty floor, if they can’t keep the floor clean, they aren’t cleaning the important stuff."- lovelynutz
"A dirty bathroom means a dirty kitchen."- ManifestsOnly
dirty spongebob squarepants GIFGiphy"Oh, Sorry We're Out..."
"Whatever is on the menu 60% is not available."- XqueezeMePlease
Whether Or Not It's The Food You're Smelling...
"Smells bad."- Louis-grabbing-pills
Roaches Check In...
"In university I went out with some friends and they decided to go to mid-priced restaurant before we caught a film."
"I was really broke so I feigned not being hungry to excuse the fact that I couldn't order anything."
"As we were hanging out I noticed a cockroach crawl onto the table and quickly scurry out of sight."
"That is one of the few times I was happy to be poor."- gildorratner
"If you smell freshly popped popcorn, but they don't serve popcorn, they have a cockroach infestation."
"The smell is the result of a potent insecticide and dead roaches."- Goatmanthealien
place cockroaches GIFGiphyMany restaurants are not worth their expensive prices.
While others aren't even worth a single second of your time.
Thankfully, those can be fairly easy to spot.
People Explain Which Common Foods In Their Country Are Considered Delicacies By Foreigners
Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay |
What's on the menu? What are the specials? What's popular? What's your favorite item?Tell me everything.
Back when I was in hospitality, these are part of the litany of questions I would get from visitors to our country. It became a bit irritating. I should've made a sign with "Regular FAQs."
I didn't have a lot of answers, due to the fact that I find American food pretty run of the mill. I'm going have to be schooled on what is considered extra yummy only in the states.
Although I must admit, the shoe definitely swaps feet when I travel. Tell me everything. The rest of the world is far more compelling with their menus.
Redditoru/Well_shi__-_-wanted to discuss what menu items we all need to discuss by asking:
What common foods in your country are considered delicacies by foreigners?
The closest "delicacy"for America I can come up with is pizza. Right? But only in NYC. And bagels, but only in NYC. Maybe alligator in Florida? And oranges, but only in Florida. Were very centralized here aren't we?
Berry Way
Thanks Strawberry GIF by DriscollsBerryGiphy"Goji berries. We put that stuff in our soups and many people pick that out when they drink the soup."
- eienblue
Essentials
"(good) Olive oil."
"Weirdly enough, Costco's house brand, Kirkland, is supposed to be some of the best, non-adulterated olive oil available in the States. I would look for a source on this, but I'm stoned."
"Kirkland California Extra Virgin Olive Oil is white label Cobram Estates, which is the California grown product of the Australian olive oil company, Boundary Bend. They have an unimpeachable reputation for quality and win many awards!"
baby fish
"It was supposed to be caviar, but now it's also unaffordable for us. cries in Russian."
"I used to eat caviar all the time as a cheap snack growing up moderately poor (Romanian). I was stunned to find out it's a delicacy."
"I was thinking caviar in Iran, but I don't know if it's true still. A lot of sturgeon species in Eurasia are endangered from overfishing and habitat destruction."
In the Forest
"Hmm, forest berries perhaps. I live in Finland. We have a lot of forests, so lot of berries such as blueberries and lingonberries. Everyman's Rights mean that you can just go and pick as much as you can find. It's kinda one of those things where if you live near any forested area, and are willing to spent time there come late summer, you'll probably have enough to last until next year in your freezer."
"We have so much berries that people from poorer countries (Thailand is a common one for some reason) are hired to pick them up, because doing berrypicking enough to actually profit monetarily is heavy work. And apparently the pay isn't worth it for most Finns. At the same time, forest berries are considered a superfood around the world, very healthy and trendy. Dunno about actual delicacy status, but definitely a difference in how we think about them."
The Little Lamb
baby lamb GIF by The DodoGiphy"I worked for a charity in Iraq for a year and we'd buy a dozen lamb chops for the equivalent of $5. That's like $60 to buy in the US and it's worse quality."
Ok, now that is what I call a menu. And I actually had a few of these items on my list when I heard the question. Only in Italy can you find true oil. And caviar? Guess I'm flying to Russia. Knock, knock Vlad. LOL
Aloha!
spam GIFGiphy"Hawaii has somehow turned spam into a sought after food, especially by visitors from Japan."
Shroomed...
"I would add mushrooms for Finland. Especially porcinis (herkkutatti), chanterelles (kantarelli) and C. tubaeformis (suppilovahvero) are incredible food mushrooms which are sought after e.g. in Italy. We can just go pick them in the forest thanks to our "jokamiehenoikeus", every man's right, which allows anyone to pick mushrooms and berries etc. on public land such as state-owned forests."
- Resumme
When in Mexico...
"Avocados here in Mexico, pretty common and cheap."
"I spent 3 months in your wonderful country 10 years ago and I still am disappointed when I eat an avocado or a mango here. "It´s just not like the ones in Mexico."
"Yea I always thought papaya was disgusting and tasted like pee warm beer until I ate one in Mexico. I can never get that real taste out of my mind."
Spain Eats
"Jamón Serrano, here in Spain is really common and you can find very good product for a very affordable price."
"We are going to Madrid this fall and my husband has already informed me that he plans to eat his weight in Jamón Iberico. We used to get slivers of it from a Spanish importer near our old house for crazy money."
Truth Hurts
british crown GIFGiphy"Englishman here, been scrolling for sooooo long to find my country..."
"Maybe some stereotypes are true."
Spam? Just, no. And I will say, I think the English are in the same boat as the good ole US of A. Empty food treasures. I've been to London... the supermarket sandwiches were good and you can drink in the streets. I guess you make up where you can.
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I'm not a kid person in general. No, I don't want to hold your babies. I'll wait until they can hold conversation until I engage them thank you.
But I don't mind children being around me, unless... they're on a plane or in a restaurant.
As a consumer, children drive me crazy, especially with parents who seem to be oblivious to their child's insanity. And don't get me started about my days in restaurant services. The things I have seen with families.
I support a ban. There are plenty of places for all of us to dine.
Redditoru/woodsexywanted everyone to share our thoughts on kids and dining... yeah or nay... by aksing:
What is your opinion of restaurants that ban children?
Some spaces are just meant for humans who are old enough to be there. I get that families need to get out, especially parents, but there are already plenty of places to go. Let's discuss...
Adult Time
Driving Billie Eilish GIF by Apple MusicGiphy"Adults should be able to go out and enjoy a quiet dinner. There are plenty of family restaurants that allow children... should be nothing wrong with having a few for adults."
A Disney No
"Where can I find such a restaurant?"
- ttyy2000
"Disney World's Victoria & Alberta's restaurant requires all diners be at least 10. Partially this is because they expect dinner to take about 3 hours. That's way too long for 99% of kids to sit."
Thumbs Up
"As a parent I'm ok with it. You've got family restaurants, casual restaurants, smart restaurants that ban people in trainers, fast food restaurants, fine dining restaurants, seafood restaurants, steak restaurants, nose to tail restaurants, vegetarian and vegan restaurants, home-cooking style restaurant, hip and trendy restaurants, any number of restaurants that cater to a single cuisine. Different people want, and like, different things so if a restaurant wants to be adult only then I don't really care."
A Police State
"I'm the oldest of five kids. I remember numerous occasions when waitstaff would say things like "Wow, your children are so well-behaved!" because we weren't throwing fits. The thing is, we were self-policing. If one kid threw a fit, then everyone had to leave, and we knew it. So I think each sibling acted up once or twice in public, and then the rest of us made said sibling's life a living hell, so it wasn't repeated."
Taking Liberties...
United We Dream Statue Of Liberty GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy"It's their right. Kids can be real nuisance. Bars that ban kids are the absolute best though."
So much truth here. Private businesses have every right to say who may or may not come in. And there are other people in world beside your family unit. Continue...
Family is Covered
Hungry Cat GIF by GarfieldGiphy"There's already enough family restaurants everywhere you look, if you're looking to take a date out for a romantic evening you don't exactly want kids hanging around. If it's a high class sort of establishment that's sort of a given, let me enjoy my overpriced alcohol in peace."
Fools
"I usually don't mind kids at restaurants, but I think there should be more that are child free. Most of the time they're okay, but it's really annoying when you're trying to have a nice dinner and conversation and some kids are running around/screaming and the parents just sit there and ignore them."
"I'll ignore it for awhile, because sometimes kids just act a fool, but if it gets to the point it becomes ridiculous or if they start to play around my table/invade my space, I'm going to ask for a different table without caring whether the parents overhear me say it's because of their poorly behaved kids."
Window Cleaners Share The Best Things They've Ever Seen | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
No Tolerating Allowed
"Strongly agree. During all my uni life I've worked in several type of restaurants, from silver service ones to right out fast foods. Some restaurants are simply put not child friendly, as often children can be a problem for the custumers (they can ruin your experience) and for the staff (especially when they're poorly managed by their parents). Additionally (it's not an absolute but it does happen) some parents tend to second the poor behavior of their kids."
"I had a case of kids jumping around the seats in the waiting area of the restaurant, shouting, while the restaurant was quite busy. When I asked politely to the parents if they could recall their kids their answer was "but this is an Italian restaurants, you should tolerate those things. No Karen, we shouldn't."
Ban Everyone!
"I'm cool with it. If I go to a family restaurant, I expect families, some with loud kids. If I go to a bar, I expect adults, some of whom will be drunk. If I got to a quiet, fancy restaurant, I expect other quiet, respectful diners. A family restaurant won't allow drunks. A bar won't allow kids. A quiet restaurant should be able to ban noisy, misbehaving guests."
My Time
restaurant GIFGiphy"Most of my working life was spent dealing with other people's children, and most places I go people are there with their children. It's nice to have a place outside my home where I can leave them behind, and enjoy myself."
Welcome to All
"As long as there's somewhere suitable for most average folks to pick, what does it matter? I wouldn't want to go for a romantic dinner and be surrounded by screaming kids, and equally I wouldn't want to take my kids to a place where they felt uncomfortable because it was ultra sophisticated and they weren't allowed to move or speak without being shushed every two seconds. Sometimes I like to take my dog with me, but appreciate others may not want to eat surrounded by animals. Everyone likes different stuff."
Brats
"Mother was a waitress and this woulda been the dream for her. Think I remember her telling me one time there was an incident where the kid basically b lined into someone's legs spilling a massive tray of waters onto some people. Thankfully nothing hot to burn anyone and the kid didn't get any glass coming down on them. But of course the parents didn't really seem to care that their little brat was running around like that."
Bravo
Happy Simon Cowell GIF by America's Got TalentGiphy"I think they're great. I have had many meals ruined by screaming kids, or parents lecturing or threatening their kids with some kind of punishment. I breathe a sigh of relief when I walk into a restaurant, and I don't see kids."
- lj6877
Be Considerate Parents
"Freaking crying children should be taken outside regardless of restaurant policy. It's a courtesy to the people in the restaurant who aren't obnoxious."
"Totally agree! I have 2 kids myself and anytime they have cried or gotten loud I take them outside to calm down. I don't get parents who just let them carry on. On top of this can we talk about parents who let their kids watch iPads or phones at full blast at restaurants."
"Wtf is that even. My kids are 6 and 2 and Ive never gave them devices while out to eat because it's family time. And if I did I'd give them headphones so no one had to hear it instead of blasting that at full volume. Honestly annoys me more then kids crying."
- Poctah
No Babysitters Here!
"As a father, I'm okay with it. We don't really go out to eat much anyway. I've read about parents that treat the waitstaff as impromptu babysitters. Some mom groups on Facebook even had the nerve to put out a guide to waiters on how to keep their little ones happy. Hello! It's your damn job! Waiters get paid to bring you food and extra napkins. If you want a babysitter, hire one. I respect parents who have the guts to tell the kids that if they don't call down they'll go home and then go through with it."
Nobody
"Can confirm: Am parent to two under-five children. ;P. Seriously, my 4 year old is generally excellent in a restaurant, but I also know he's an exception and he often receives compliments from the staff for his behavior. My 2 year old? Forget it. I learned long ago nobody enjoys that ordeal. Nobody."
- Bwe0empo
To the Chains
"If I'm paying a lot of money for my dinner I do not want your kids to ruin it for me. Even if they aren't crying, they are being loud or running around and just being annoying. I know it isn't the case with every family but I am absolutely for banning kids under the age of 10. On a different note, I don't expect this to be the case when I'm at Perkins or Texas Roadhouse, but I don't visit chains anyway."
HUSH!
"Awesome. Because not everyone wants to go out to eat and be seated next to someone with a screaming child. I know that sounds harsh, and yes, parents do deserve a night out and sometimes cannot get a babysitter. And there are plenty of places that will accommodate you and your kids."
"Also, some places are designed for it. But if a place is upfront on that policy and designed themselves for it, I'm good with that too. Sometimes you want to be in a loud sportsbar type place, others it is nice to have a quiet sit down meal in a nice place."
Spending in Peace
"If I'm paying a lot of money I don't want my kids ruining it for me! I live my kids but I can't expect a 3 year old to pontificate about a veg puree and a nice sauce can I? We almost exclusively eat at chains or local family restaurants with the kids as they cater to them better too. We can have the best of both worlds and I want to sit and enjoy my nice wine with a nice meal!"
Just in case...
food fight family GIF by The Jerry Springer ShowGiphy"Should be more of them tbh, imagine wanting to have a conversation with someone but there's toddlers screaming, running around, having tantrums and crying. I once was in a plane flight where a baby decided to throw his food on me, so I try to avoid kids that are eating. Just in case."
There has to be a way for all of us to dine out. Let's look at it less like a ban and liken it to an age limit. It's about establishing who can and cannot enter for the right reasons. Mangia everyone!
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If someone knows that an upcoming meal is to be their last, the specific food choices would appear to be the least of their problems.
Execution, the final days of a dreadful illness, or a psychic understanding of catastrophe in the making would likely be involved.
And yet, countless people on the internet thoroughly enjoyed discussing what they'd like to eat for their last meal in a recent Reddit thread.
Some were dedications to home-cooking and fond memories. Some showed commitment to out and out decadence. And others were sneaky ways to cheat death.
MunchkinsOG asked, "What would your last meal be and why?"
Parting Surprise
"Raw popcorn kernels. They're gonna have a blast when they cremate me." -- Fordawinman
"Going out with a bang" -- shiny-spleen
"Seeing that I have good fat storage built up around my belly, it'll smell like bacon flavored popcorn!" -- HookerofMemoryLane
Living It Up
"Super spicy pizza - I won't have to worry about acid reflux." -- Jedi_Fisherman
"Yes! Get all the spice and none of the regrets." -- MunchkinsOG
"This is my choice also, though for a different reason. Lactose intolerance." -- elee0228
Seasonal Chaos
"A Mcrib and a Shamrock Shake. What are the odds that a Mcrib and a Shamrock Shake as re gonna be out at the same time?" -- TheUrbanSaint
"Guess they'll just have to postpone the execution until they get both at the same time!" -- mart1373
"Just request one Mcflurry from every McDonald's in the world. Guaranteed at least half the machines will be down meaning you won't die" -- SithLordScoobyDooku
Buying Some Time
"I'd ask for the world's rarest truffle. Then while they were searching for it, I'd tunnel my way to freedom."
"Of course, then I'd miss eating the world's rarest truffle."
-- foofan22
A High Carb Fountain of Youth
"The Never Ending Pasta Bowl (olive garden)." -- arachnidtree
"taps head Can't die if your last meal is never-ending" -- justabill71
"But you have to spend the rest of your life only eating Olive Garden pasta... so you're alive, but at what cost?" -- Yourstruly0
Fancy Finale
"Lobster cause I want to know what it tastes like but I'm not rich enough to get it. Plus happy cake day." -- TheIceCreamCones
"Fun bit of history, they used to feed lobster to the prisoners in Boston because it was so plentiful that it wasn't even considered a delicacy. How the times have changed!" -- PlaneShenaniganz
Going Out Stuffed
"Enough sushi to put me on a good coma before I get the juice." -- FreeSirius
"I love sushi but I'm allergic, every time I eat more than 80 pieces I barf." -- chesterSteihl69
"My only issue is bad sushi is really bad while good sushi is heavenly and I don't trust the sushi chef skills of a prison cook." -- mousicle
Full Circle
"Tortilla with black whole beans, with a side of crema, and pan fried platano. To remind me of my homeland one last time." -- interceptor101
"Mmmm i'm Salvadorian and this is one of my favorites. The Platanos Fritos hit different." -- Wisegangsta7
"Not hundurean, salvadoran here but hey, can totally relate to that my dude" -- Omira_Motaki
Just a Solid Meal
"Nice big ribeye, baked potato with butter and sour cream, asparagus, grilled, or sautéed in butter, lobster tail and/or a good crab or lobster bisque..."
"...all washed down with a quality beer, like a Heady Topper, or Pliny the Elder."
-- justabill71
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