Us women have to put up with a lot of weird sh*t from men. Sometimes, it seems that they're just completely oblivious to what we want and need, but we just can't figure out how to say it. Luckily, we can all vent about it on Reddit. Here are some of the things guys do to seem sexy, when in reality, they just aren't.
u/Ulcrar asked: Women of Reddit, what is something Men do that they think is sexy/attractive but really isn't?
What makes them think this is a good idea?
On dating websites, post photos of them posing with at least 8 scantily clad women who work at the tropical resort that the guy is staying at.
"See what girls I can pay to stick around me, be thankful I might bone you."
So disappointing.
Giphy
Going to into great detail about all the things they're going to do when they get you in bed, and then doing exactly zero of those things.
Don't bring me into the bedroom thinking I'm getting an evening of pleasure when the reality is 10 seconds of jackhammer that's only enjoyable for you.
"I'm going to roll you up in a blanket and feed you pizza."
Yes and yes.
If you have to constantly tell people how big of a deal you are, you're not a big deal. Also don't be a jerk to the staff.
Yes please. If you're awful to hard working people who just do their jobs, you're awful in general. Such a turn off.
Talk about toxic masculinity.
Dated a guy once that took the masculine thing too far. I couldn't call him cute without him flipping out. He wouldn't ever call anything cute either. Wouldn't even run his hands through my hair because it was too girly.
Guy I'm with now falls asleep playing with my hair and it is HEAVEN.
This is weird.
Giphy
Order my food for me. Not in a cute, I know what she wants kind of way but a dominant a-hole kind of way.
I once was taken on a date, he insisted in driving and drove like a jackass there and back, blasted the same T-pain song over and over, then as we proceeded to order, he ordered everything for me, from the water to my horrible salad. I STILL PAID HALF THE BILL!!!!! One of the worst dates ever. 0 out of 10 would recommended dating this guy.
So annoying.
Being overprotective in a cringy way. I have nothing against a guy who is considerate but I really don't need someone who wants to punch every other guy that just looks at me (or even someone who makes sh*t up like "I heard these strangers over there talking about you" and frowning at them).
Like wtf dude, make me feel safe if you want to but don't make me feel like I'm made of glass.
YES.
Trusting you know what your girl wants is not the same thing is telling her what she wants.
One is knowing her well enough to give her what she wants the other is doing what you want and telling her she should 'lighten up and give it a try'.
We see right through it.
Giphy
Lying to make themselves look smart. The truth will come out. And when it does, they will look like a dumb*ss.
I was in a relationship with a guy way before all this metoo and the mentioning of red flags. I knew he was lying but I was so sucked in and people just kept saying to give him a benefit of the doubt. He lied about SO MANY things. Like buying Christmas gifts for me and my family and the gifts breaking in the mail. He made my cry at least once a day then broke up over the phone with me.
He knocked up some girl and got married a week later. He's a scumbag with two ugly kids and she's a MLM consultant.
Let's be real, they probably can't,
Talking about how they can "take down" someone. Okay you do that..
Oh god I HATE when men tell hypothetical stories about the type of guys who would get their a**es kicked if they dared to disrespect them. It's not making you look like a hero, just a violent jack*ss.
That's uncomfortable.
I had an ex that would put on his "sultry" voice and tell me it's time for bed.
It really came out sounding creepy and not a bit romantic.
Physically, we had good times but I had to cringe past his verbal intro.
I don't think anyone feels comfortable with that.
Giphy
When they stare at you from across the way and don't stop.
I don't feel comfortable when that happens.
YES.
Physical violence/fighting. Last thing I want on a night out is for you to get in a fight. It's just a mindless display of testosterone. Give me a man who walks away from a fight any day.
No means no.
When they try to "win you over" after you've rejected their advances.
It has never once been attractive behaviour, only really weird for me. But then again I'm not attracted to men so perhaps that's just a me thing. Maybe some guys can make it cute by just showing they won't leave you right off, the ones I've encountered just sort of seem to be pushing themselves on me and I'm not a fan.
That's not confidence.
Giphy
Talking about HoW I DoN't CarE ThAt I DrESS wIErd, YoU'Re sO LuCKy To EVen bE WiTH ME when they actually have very low self esteem and push people away because their insecure, but come off as cocky and "confident", and dress funny to stand out and seem like they "aren't like other guys".
WTF?
Trying to have sex with me but judging me if I have sex with them on a first date.
I don't have time for that game.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
Do we even have a clue that they're the "one" that got away? How long until it sinks in? And how do we not know there isn't another "one" coming behind them? I have no answers. Just asking...
The Draft
Episode 1 Omg GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy"The girl who summoned up the nerve to ask me out towards the beginning of high school. I was so humiliated by the life my family was living that I stalled until she gave up."
"Betsy, if by some stroke of dumb luck you're reading this... I'm so sorry. It was 25-27 years ago, but I still hate myself for that. You were beautiful, intelligent, a good person, and if I had anything resembling a stable, presentable home I would've said yes in a heartbeat... I had a crush on you since 7th-grade 'intro to drafting.'
I Love Her
"Weird, I was just confiding in my mom about this last night. I'm late but for catharsis's sake I'm going to post. My first girlfriend is a classic case of you don't know what you have until it's gone. She's the complete package. Beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, and so kind. We started dating when I was 17 and broke up when I was 21."
"For reference I'm 30 now. I was an idiot. I wanted to play the field. I wanted to party and hook up with college girls. It was fun at first but after a while I felt this gnawing hole in my heart. The feeling of doubt crept up slowly and still, a decade later my chest feels tight thinking about it."
"I didn't realize until my later serious relationships that getting along with your SO's family is so important. Her mom and step dad genuinely treated me like a part of their family. It's not a stretch to say I literally grew up with these people. I spent some of my most formative years with them. Birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmases, you name it. They celebrated me and my accomplishments. They genuinely cared about me. Just amazing, salt of the earth, lovely people."
"Her birthday was in March and I sent her a text and we ended up talking for a bit. She's happily married and stable with a daughter and a second on the way. I'm genuinely so happy for her. She deserves happiness. I just wish I was a part of that. Sitting at work 10 years later I'm tearing up. I numbed myself out to it for years, it's so strange to me that I've been so stuck on her lately. Is this normal?"
- direct07
15 Years Later
"My very first real love. I was a teenager and I didn't really know how to be comfortable in myself or with myself. I played silly teen girl games and lost him even as a friend. Now 15 years later I still think about R from time to time. I genuinely hope he's happy in his life."
"Edit: Wow this blew up while I was sleeping. Thanks for all the sweet words and to everyone with their "one" congratulations! I suppose I hadn't looked him up on social media because I'm scared, scared he won't respond, scared he will respond, scared he'll think I'm a stalker. I'm in a happy relationship now, but what if... Etc etc etc. But I'll give it a Google."
Missed You Much
rhythm nation dance GIF by Janet JacksonGiphyA girl I dated in high school. Went on a date one time she took me out parking and I was too stupid to realize it.
"She always talked about moving away as soon as she got finished with high school. I always thought I would stay in a little town the rest of my life. Turns out I was the one who left and move to another state. Later I heard that she had told someone that I knew that she thought that we would be married at some point. Missed it by that much."
Ok... I've been a bit blind to the light. People can be cruel, but also highly creative. Why not just lead with the truth? It'll always hurt more after lies.
Chuck E.
Chuck E Cheese Wink GIFGiphy"Ah the rare AskReddit question I can answer."
"I met a wonderful woman circa 2013-2015. We worked at what I can best describe as an upscaled Chuck E Cheese. Or ghetto Six Flags. Your choice."
"We hit it off instantly, though at the time I was rather romantically inept. Eventually, she says she's leaving to join the Air Force. I tell her I'll miss her, and wished her well. The thought of asking for her number so we could stay in contact didn't even cross my mind."
"Cue the next day, I stop for lunch on my way to work, and as I'm walking to my car I hear my name being called. I turn around, and it's her, running toward me. Universe giving me a second chance, right? Wrong. My dumb butt still didn't ask for her number. She looked a little upset, and I still think about her often. Desiree, I hope you're doing well."
The Getaway...
"He was my first and last love. I was 16 and he was 18 when we met. We bounced around like idiots, on again off again, finally got together mid 20s. We both fell into bad habits - drugs and alcohol, more booze for me, more drugs for him. We had some bad things happen that were pretty detrimental to staying sober. We would split, reconcile, get sober, fall off the wagon, split, etc... repeat as necessary. We realized we were very bad for each other unless we could BOTH just get sober for ourselves, and split."
"Ten years later, I was sober for 7 years (still am, going on 18 years end of this month, actually! Woo, go me!) and he was beginning to come back, sober about a year. He contacted me, we met, talked about trying again. He said that once he had been totally clean for a year, we'd do it. That whole "Don't make any changes for a year" thing. I would visit him, tho, things were good."
"He woke up one morning feeling bad, thought he had the flu. (This was pre-now) I stayed around because he was sick, but neither of us thought he was drastically bad, just the flu, right? He got worse and worse, finally we called an ambulance because he got up from a nap and couldn't breathe. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Aortic dissection."
"He got away, but someday I'll see him again. I never stopped loving him, and him me. We just weren't good for each other."
Ce la vie...
"My most serious Ex."
"Don't think I truly understood love until I met her. Loved her more than I ever thought I could love anything. It eventually ended when she told me that, through no fault of my own, she had fallen out of love with me. That was 2 years ago, still hurts to think/talk about."
"Ce la vie..."
The Avoid...
"I'm in the middle of trying to avoid that right now actually."
"It's not worth the heartache trust me. I fought to stay in a relationship for an entire year. If I would've just let her go the first time she wanted there would've been a lot less pain. We would've left on good terms. I would've lost a lot less sleep. Rip the band-aid off because once the band-aid starts peeling it's inevitable it'll fall off with time."
Kim Tate Eye Roll GIF by Emmerdale"My ex and I broke up over 3 years ago. Mutual breakup through a lack of communication on both ends I feel."
"Thought I was over that hill until this week she messaged just to say hey and ask an innocent question. We text for the best part of the day and it's brought up a lot of old feeling. Feeling pretty bitter sweet right now."
Love is a mess. Why even bother trying if you can't be true? It's not hard to just spell out the situation. And if you're the one needing to put together the words... look closer. The dialogue shouldn't be difficult.
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