This will be a perfectly average article about perfectly average things.
There will be C-level effort given here.
This will be like the "normal" episode of Spongebob.
Reddit user WinstonChurchillin asked:
"What is neither terrible nor great, but perfectly average?"
I've never written an ode to beige before, and I'm not about to start now ... which is fine because C-level effort, people.
Starting with this moment of clarity.
The Taste Of Mediocrity
coke pouring GIFGiphy"A canned coke slightly colder than room temperature."
- ImDedNgl
"I didn't know how to answer this question but as soon as I saw your answer... it all just... made sense."
- _forum_mod
"Oh my god I can taste it on my tongue as I read this. The taste of mediocrity."
- momoman46
"When you put it in the freezer so it'll get colder faster and you check back like 15 minutes later and it feels cold to the touch; but when you drink it, it's not that cold, but you're like, screw it and drink it anyway."
- MyStationIsAbandoned
A Dinner Downgrade
"Just had a cooking class in high school and we made a potato and leek soup."
"The first words me and my friend used to describe it were 'ok' and 'alright.' "
"It was really the most average thing I've tasted; not that it was bland just that it was neither good nor terrible."
- RavensArePrettyCool
"This is my favorite 'meh, that sounds alright' dinner to make."
"It’s both easy and hard to make right. It’s simple, and yet I have to go out of my way to get leeks from one specific grocer, which makes it hard."
"It’s an ordeal and so very average all at once. Strange."
- deadheadcycle
"Potato and leek soup is just a downgrade from leek soup."
- Alexthegreatbelgian
Ohio
ohio columbus GIFGiphy"The Midwest. Especially Ohio."
- SpyTheLie
"Just moved to Ohio last year. It’s fine."
- Mindbender444
"Came here looking for Ohio. Fitting I should find it in an average response."
- Jayphlat
"Ohio sucks"
"- a Michigander 😂"
- NyaNyx
Historical Math
"If Ivan the Terrible had a baby boy and Alexander the Great had a baby girl and by some miracle, those two babies met throughout history and f***ed, the resulting baby would be the most perfectly average baby ever birthed."
- 0ldPainless
"I like the way your brain works."
- SnooDingos2721
"Average Joe incarnate."
- mynameisnad
They're Not Awful
"A baloney and American cheese sandwich on white bread with Mayo."
"No one would order one in a restaurant, and no one is ever excited to have one, but they’re not awful. A perfectly average sandwich."
- No_Pen_4702
"There's as many terrible sandwiches out there that are much worse than this as there are good sandwiches that are better. This one fits very well."
"My wife loves these sandwiches, mind you, as do several others I know."
- RhettSarlin
Nothing Exciting
"Staying at a Holiday Inn."
"Quality is consistent, but nothing exciting is going on."
"It’s not so nice that you’ll get a hotel bar and restaurant, but it’s not so crappy that you can watch The Neighbor Show with all the crazy folks also staying there."
- felinelawspecialist
The Corolla Choir
Robots What GIF by ToyotaGiphy"A tan 2002 Toyota Corolla."
"That was my last car before the current one. While I had it, I would sometimes think about how this is just 'a car.' "
"There's new cars and old cars. Cool cars and sh*tty cars. Cars that are fun to drive and cars that are scary to drive."
"But a 2002 Corolla... That's none of those things. It's just a car."
- aguycalledkyle
"The Toyota Corolla. Every single one of them."
- Blindog68
"Wife and I's first car together was a Corolla coupe. It had the cool disappearing headlights, which made it slightly nicer than average."
- DesertTripper
1 Snack
"Home brand garlic bread where they skimp on sesame seeds atop the loaf and the butter is slightly too stingy."
"The ultimate in 6.1/10 snacking."
- TheRysingTyde
Better late than never
Season 10 Bbq GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"Showing up late to a barbecue, and while there's still plenty of food left, it's not exactly warm anymore, but it's not so cold that you don't want it."
-Etterra
"But the beers are still in a cooler filled with water that used to be ice. Not perfectly chilled, but I'll have one!"
-BleuDePrusse
"Yeah but the beer tastes like it was brewed in the 60s."
-Etterra
"Late enough so that everyone is there, but not too late so that anyone hasn’t left"
-spacesheep_000
Little goes a long way
"Accidentally putting a little less toothpaste on the brush than you normally do."
-rcdr_90
"Oddly specific and perfect."
-CringeVader
"I actually nodded and smiled a little when I read this comment, like 'Oh yeah that's it'. And then I laughed at myself"
-iairhh
"The dinosaur said it should be pea sized I stuck with it since."
-Such-List680
Take a seat
French Bulldog Love GIF by The BarkPostGiphy"Public benches"
-maren_voyage
"Nailed it. They are never great, but they’re almost always pretty okay."
-ProbablyaDrugDealer
"Except for the ones with anti-homeless aspects in their design. Those ones are mildly evil."
-UlteriorCulture
"Big facts. Not a single bench I've ever sat on has been comfortable, but they still let me sit for a bit."
-LawMurphy
Wrong flavor
"A piece of chocolate but it’s not in your favorite flavor. For me it’s one of those orange filled ones."
-NoHoliday7040
"the pain i feel whenever i bite into a chocolate, and it's raspberry flavor is too much to bear"
-Caesthoffe
"The orange ones are the best"
-Ruta008
Meh-tatoe chips
chips GIFGiphy"The no name chips from the drugstore."
-sonia72quebec
"Edible, but nothing to write home about."
-ilike7hournaps
"
Perfect date
Miss Congeniality April 25Th GIFGiphy"April 25th. It's not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket."
-ExtinctFauna
"Its the perfect date!"
-GreenOnionCrusader
"Get outta here Mrs. Rhode Island lol"
-LessMidRange
Above average
"Saltine crackers"
-TyroneSuave
"Ok don’t judge me but my mom would make our birthday cakes by hand and her leftover buttercream icing on saltines is my low key redneck poor kid comfort treat"
-[Reddit]
"By themselves? Yes. In soup? above average."
-jdinklagemargoone
"Nope, they're great. Fresh butter on a saltine is incredible."
-DrInsomnia
Mall 'Za
Stranger Things Indiana GIF by netflixlatGiphy"Mall pizza. It's never great pizza. Never terrible pizza. Just pizza."
-lorinabaninabanana
"Just a little za."
-dovahkiinot
"Mediocre pizza to me is worse than bad pizza. Truly bad pizza at least makes you feel something - anger about having paid for it, disgust over having to eat it, etc."
"But mediocre pizza just makes you sit there, chewing dough and tasting nothing, while you contemplate your mortality and how your life led you to this moment."
-ThriftAllDay
Chill dog
"A hot dog with no toppings"
-NocturnalBatBrain
"On the other hand, a hotdog with the perfect toppings can be a real treat and imo one of the best fast food options!"
-[Reddit]
"On the other hand, a hotdog with the perfect toppings can be a real treat and imo one of the best fast food options!"
-Boomshockalocka007
"Perfectly average"
-ProbablyaDrugDealer
Cover band swag
"A short sleeve shirt over a long sleeve shirt"
-_Mceaky
"If you wore this in 2006, it meant you liked music."
-_reeses_pieces_
"Disagree, this is the most comfortable top configuration. And it looks sweet in a cover band."
-NoItsNotLiterally
This
mood GIFGiphy"This very thread."
"It's amusing, but not laugh-out-loud funny. Lots of thoughtful nodding in agreement, but no urgent need to screenshot or share it."
"A pleasant diversion."
- ISpyStrangers
Well ... that's it. That's the whole average article about average things.
Okay bye.
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Food trends are not so very different from fashion trends, constantly evolving and quickly becoming outdated or passé.
Can you think of the last time you were served ambrosia at a dinner party?
Or have you noticed how anything featuring kale is now met with an eye roll rather than excitement?
Of course, some food trends tend to last longer than others.
Even if many people wish that they would also become extinct... the sooner the better!
Redditor Prestigious-Humor872 was eager to hear all the food trends people wished would die out, and fast, leading them to ask:
"What modern food trend can you not wait to die?"
Less Isn't Always More...
"2 ingredient desserts (with 7 'optional' ingredients that appear once you read the actual recipe)."- strawberry-emma
You Pay For The Experience
"Food trucks that charge the same price as a premium restaurant but serve half the size on a floppy plate that I have to stand up to eat."- thorn_10
"Food trucks."
"Weren’t they supposed to serve cheaper food because of lower overhead?"
"No brick and mortar?"
"We have a lobster roll truck-pulled by a Range Rover- that shows up for lunch and charges $22 for one entree."
"Ridiculous."- tizzymyers·
GiphyChoice Of Words...
"Calling a slight alteration to a recipe a 'hack'."
"Adding parmesan cheese to your grilled cheese sandwich is not a 'hack'."
"It's a minor recipe change."- No_Pear_2326
Jumping The Gun A Bit...
"If I'm on a website I'm only there to look at your menu."
"I'm not interested in starting an order before I've looked at the menu."
"No, I don't want to give you my zip code."
"Just give me your menu and some food pictures."- DueRest
Staying Humble?
"Fancy restaurants that say they serve 'street tacos' and proceed to charge $18 for three."- Chipwich75
T-Bell Yes GIF by Taco BellGiphyThere's A Reason We're Told Not To Play With Our Food...
"The stupid food wasting trends on YouTube and TikTok etc."- fluffernuttersndwch
Presentation Is Key...
"For some reason putting food in wine glasses."- Ralphroberts603
"Restaurants serving food on cutting boards, shovels, paper, shells, or anything that is not an actual plate."- Funny_Disaster1002
meat grill GIF by Gifs LabGiphyRemember The Golden Arches And The Red Roofs?
"Making all fast food buildings look like cookie-cutter beige/grey boxes."
"They all used to have their own distinct personalities."- mattnotis
There's Economizing, And Then There's Jusy Poor Hygeine...
"The videos of people making food in sinks."
"Gross."- h20rabbit
Is It Even Still A Secret After 100 Thousand Views?
"Any TikTok/IG trend that makes life more difficult for fast-food workers with overly complex orders or ordering stuff not on the menu or trying to 'one up' each others orders etc."- HiThisIsMichael
bored fast food GIF by Zaxby'sGiphyMaybe It Gives Them Incentive?
"Tipping as an option BEFORE receiving good service."- mytimeis2044
Sweet Tooth? Or Cavity Express?
"Sweets on top of sweets."
"A milkshake with a donut, lollipop, and cupcake attached."- Marleygem
Technology Slowly Taking Our Jobs...
"I just went to a restaurant, not a fast food place, a sit-down restaurant where you have to scan the QR code for the menu, then a screen pops up where you have to place your own order."
"No one comes to the table to answer questions, nothing."
"You place your order, a person comes by and throws your drinks at you. "
"Then they swing by a while later and throw your food at you."
"That’s all you see of them."
"You pay your bill on your phone, and are still expected to tip."- Megmuffin102
Saint Urbain Website GIF by Front of HouseGiphyBe it in presentation, cooking style, or flavor profile, people will likely always try to make food "cool" in truly bizarre ways.
Sometimes ignoring that the only thing that should truly matter is whether or not it tastes good.
At least people have finally realized that kale doesn't need to be added to everything!
For now, at least...
When discussing love and relationships, the motto is usually less is more.
But what if there is more of one partner?
Being involved with identical twins can be quite the experience.
Can you really tell them apart?
Is everything identical?
If you're attracted to one, aren't you automatically attracted to the other?
So many questions.
Now we need some answers.
Redditor nicknamesofdaveryder wanted to hear about love and the twin experience, so they asked:
"Redditors who married someone with an identical twin sibling, why are you glad you're not with the other twin instead?"
I've never met a lot of twins, let alone gotten involved with a pair.
I have questions.
Hopefully I get some answers.
Saved
Comedy Central Wink GIF by Drunk HistoryGiphy"My late husband's twin was a non-functioning alcoholic and my husband wasn’t. My husband says joining the navy was what saved him from going down that road."
iteachag5
Falling Asleep
"Story time! I am an identical twin (we still look so much alike!) and one night I spent the night at her house. She and I fell asleep in the same bed because we were up late talking, etc. Her husband slept on the couch. The next morning my twin went to take a shower and her husband laid down on the bed with me (thinking it was her of course). I jokingly said 'Hey sailor, looking for a little variety?' He shot off the bed and said 'If I was looking for variety, do you think I'd choose you??'"
tanyagal2
The Good Guy And The Other One
"I didn't marry him but I dated an identical twin. His twin's girlfriend and I used to joke around that she got the evil twin. He was just a selfish, messed-up person. One of the benefits of breaking up with my boyfriend was no longer having his twin in my life. Plus, his ex gf and I are still great friends! The good guy was just the lesser evil. She wanted to get as far away from that family as I did. The best thing to come out of those relationships was our friendship."
super-ro
Love Wins
"My dad's an identical twin. People have a hard time distinguishing them, but to my mom and me, they look like two completely different people because of the way they walk/talk/etc. Obviously, my mom only fell in love with this one person. When you love someone it's actually pretty easy to tell identical twins apart."
michaelsgavin
Issues
Threaten Ashley Olsen GIFGiphy"The other twin has the same personality as I do. We argue readily and are super competitive with each other. We butt heads on a lot of issues."
why_not_send_a_nude
Personality clashes aren't just a twin thing.
It's a human thing.
We can't help ourselves.
Different People
Triplets GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy"I work with a guy who married an identical triplet, one of the triplets also works with us. I asked him one day if it was weird working with someone who looked just like his wife. He got a little pissed and basically said they are all very different people and he doesn't see much of his wife in her."
LeafMeAlone_99
He's Evil
"We’re not married but known each other since we were 12 and have been together 3 and a half years. His twin is a massive di**head who tried to break us up multiple times, was madly in love with me in his own words, and after 2 years of pursuing me declared I was a terrible person and put him through hell. Because I didn’t break up with his TWIN BROTHER to date him."
xMollyP
Life Choices
"My husband and his twin brother look very different to me, although they are identical and get mistaken for one another all the time. They couldn’t be more different in terms of personality. They have different values and life goals, hobbies, one is introverted and the other is extroverted. If they were two people who didn’t look alike, I would automatically not be attracted to my brother-in-law simply because we are not remotely compatible personality-wise."
"Also they have very different styles. I do not find the way my husband’s twin dresses/grooms his hair attractive. It’s so wild to me when people can’t tell them apart because they couldn’t be more different in my eyes."
lanieeeeeeee
Opposites
"Well, my wife and I have been together for 30 years. She has a 'mirror' twin. Even now, if you don’t know them well or interact frequently you will not be able to tell them apart. They are complete opposites. I married the extrovert, she has never met a stranger, will try anything at least once, and can find a positive aspect in almost everything she encounters, they are also best friends, my wife drags her sister along all the time."
"Once she’s out she enjoys our activities. I love my SIL, all three of them, but so glad I married the one like me. The mirror part even goes for looks, when I see my wife’s reflection I see my SIL, it’s weird sometimes. Also, attitude and personality are everything, I have never been 'attracted' to her twin."
redbonecouchhound
The Look
Sexy Damon Wayans Jr GIF by Global TVGiphy"I used to date an identical twin. Although I found his brother objectively handsome, I wasn't attracted to him at all. It was cool to directly experience how attraction goes far beyond just the looks."
Liatessa
I've never been intrigued by twins, and now I never will be.
