The Best Responses To 'What Are Your Intentions With My Daughter?'

Parents -- especially dads -- are always nervous when their daughter begins to date. Caught up in the intensity and giddiness of romance, it’s not always obvious to the ones who are dating that they are not compatible... or that they were with someone who is trouble.

That’s where the parents come in.

The classic question is some variation is “what are your intentions with my daughter” and the answers are very telling.

Luckily, Redditors know exactly what to say to this question.

It might not do wonders for people’s reps with their partners’ dads, but at least it will provide some much-needed hilarity.

It all started when Redditor TheSecondButter asked:

“What’s the best response to “what are your intentions with my daughter?”

Necessity, Not Romance

"If things go well I intend to ask for your daughters hand."

"Because I'm tired of using mine."

– Random_Guy_47

"I'm assembling some Ikea at home and just really need a second set of hands."

– Copytechguy

"Extra points for bringing the manual to show you need two sets of hands."

– OfUnknownOrigin

It's Not About Her

"I'm only dating her to gain access to you."

– Unsolicited_Spiders

"Bonus points if you get them a case of beers"

– beanstastebad

"I actually had a friend that used to play Warhammer with his girlfriend's dad...."

"When they broke up he continued to come round every week to play Warhammer with her dad"

– sfxpaladin

"Stacy's mom has got it going on."

– JBlooey

Life Of Crime

""I need a getaway driver, sir.""

– inksmudgedhands

"I’m trying to assemble a team of crime fighters and I believe she has a certain set of skill that make people like her a nightmare to people like you."

– RedDingo777

""Between you and me, Sir... we're gonna steal the Declaration of Independence.""

– TheBlueSerene

Hidden Meaning

"I'll have her in bed by 11pm, sir."

– ForcyBo

"... and home by 1."

– Parsel_Tongue

""who's bed?""

"That's the fun part."

– revs201


"To see if I can make her as happy as she makes me"

– thatguywiththeposts

""Sir, with any luck at all. Avoid making a total as**of myself and hopefully have a nice time"

– ShortAndSad4381

Struck Speechless

"Intentions? None, I just wanted to hang out. Why do you ask?"

"I just said something very similar once and her father had no idea what to say."

"Those questions are stupid."

– RacistBlackDigger

""That's my question too! She dragged me here!""

– HelveticanCheese

The Benefits

"I always hear that question and think of it like "why do you want to work here.""

– LillyLing10

"The benefits."

"Work: health insurance, sick pay"

"Daughter: friends with benefits"

– NicNoletree

Now There Are Some Twists!

"To get what she ordered, sir; this is a Wendy's."

– M3mph

"Incorrect. Best response is "Daughter? I'm here to pick up your son.""

– Busy_Confection_7260

Turn It Around

""What are your daughter's intentions with me?""

– AbreakaTech001

""Well sir, what were your intentions with her mother?""

"I have...actually used this went over well, as you can tell, by the fact im actually alive."

– lowexpectationsguy

I'm Not Violent, I Swear!

"So, maybe not on topic but; I started dating this girl in college. One night we were at the club dancing, it got crazy and I accidentally hit her in the eye with my elbow. Big shiner. That week I met her dad and had to explain I hit her in the eye, accidentally… wow, was that uncomfortable"

– JonSmith12345

Ouch! That story probably hurts more than the eye!

Teacher at a chalkboard
Tra Nguyen/Unsplash

Generally in the eyes of many young students, educators are inspiring individuals who are passing on their wisdom to prepare the future leaders of the world.

But as with all humans, they have flaws. The difference that sets certain teachers apart are the ones who maintain their professionalism and don't let their deeply-shelved insecurities interfere in the classroom.

And then there are the kinds of teachers who were just never meant to be in an academic setting at all and are eventually dismissed for various indiscretions.

Keep reading...Show less

Many folktales and fairy stories began owing to unusual things sailors might have spotted out at sea.

Mermaids, sea serpents, lost colonies, the list goes on and on.

Sadly (or thankfully) there is no photographic evidence of monstrous sea life, such as giant squids or dinosaur-like sharks.

But that doesn't mean that sailors and people stationed out at sea haven't seen some unusual things.

Things they still have trouble explaining to this day, and will never forget for the rest of their lives.

Keep reading...Show less
Man with head in his hands
Photo by Hermes Rivera on Unsplash

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

An aged old proverb reflecting on when people perform what they think are well-meaning, helpful acts, but in reality, only worsen a bad situation.

A day seldom goes by when people won't notice an example of this, either on the news, in the book they're reading, or simply walking down the street.

This could be anything from someone making promises to help out, but never delivering on them, to saving money for a less expensive cleaner, which turns out to radiate toxic fumes, resulting in the building being closed for an indefinite length of time.

Ideas which might seem good in theory, but are impractical, illogical, or even harmful, in practice.

Keep reading...Show less
A glowing red sign that says "Nintendo Virtual Boy"
Photo by Senad Palic on Unsplash

Unless you grew up with the most doting parents on the planet, there's probably a toy or two that you really wanted as a kid, but never received.

Whether it was too expensive for your parents to afford, or something like a noisy toy that was going to be way too annoying for your parents, there are probably some toys that you really missed out on as a child.

Keep reading...Show less