So one time a guy told me I had legs like a horse. Yup, that's how we're starting this article.
There's not really a whole lot of context here. I was dancing at a block party, a dude walked up and went:
"Daaaang, you have legs like a horse!"
That's it. He clearly meant it as a compliment but ... what? It's been like a decade and I still lay awake at night wondering about it.
So obviously when Reddit user Smalie asked:
What's the weirdest compliment you ever received?
Let's just say it hit on a topic I'm quite passionate about.
"She Didn't Actually Know What Swans Sound Like"
swan GIFGiphy"That I have a very swan-like voice. She didn't actually know what swans sound like."
"She was complimenting me on how I said 'your coffee will be ready over there' when we were both working at a coffee shop." - SmartAlec105
"HONK! Coffee's over there. HONK!" - hatelord666
"I was more thinking of their angry hissing." - cabamacadaf
"YES ME TOO. WHEN I WAS A KID THERE WERE THESE SWANS BY THE RIVER THAT PEOPLE HAD FED AND THEYD COME UP TO PEOPLE AND JUST HISS."
"To this day I still get uneasy around swans." - 123thundernugget
Fine Furnishings
Not Bad Season 6 GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy"My eyes were brown like a really nice table." - Editor-In-Queef
"That sounds like a compliment I've given someone before and now I feel weird. I told him his eyes weren't just brown, they're cherry. Like really nice cabinets." - showerbeerbuttchug
"I imagine this coming from Ron Swanson." - isthereanyuniquename
Bugging You
scared news anchor GIF by MashableGiphy"A random woman outside a café beside a train station, as I get chased by a wasp:"
" 'You smell very sweet and spicy, that's why he's chasing you. It's very nice!' "
"Thank you random lady, 2 years later and I'll never forget." - martini_man_
"I was the only one getting bitten by mosquitoes at a BBQ and a random man said 'I'm not surprised. Your skin looks so soft I'd bite you.' Umm.. please don't?" - scent_of_gardenia
"Although it does sound weird I have to back up her comment. I live in Florida where we have a lot of mosquitos due to humidity, and if me and my fiancé are sitting in the same place he will get bit at least 7 times and I'll get bit 0."
"I always tell him it's because he smells very sweet and the mosquitos like it lol! I'm so attracted to his smell I can only imagine they are too." - BeeRivers
It's A Vibe
kermit worry GIFGiphy" 'You remind me of Kermit the frog. Not in looks, in vibes.' "
"I mean the muppets are rad but it was said while I was handing somebody food and talking in a completely monotone voice haha" - drummerfromjetwash
"Dude Kermit is one of my heroes I would be thrilled." - dingledangle23
"Honestly not weird. That's a really nice compliment, in my opinion." - CyanCrackers
"Kermie is the everyday hero and I absolutely adore him!" - Fink665
"I wanna vibe with kermit the frog. Wanna be homies?" - dark_and_scary
That Cranium, Tho
caveman smile GIF by Aardman AnimationsGiphy"I was admiringly told by a female anthropology professor in class that I have a 'very robust cranium' like an archaic H. sapiens. Not the size of the head, but the prominence of cranial landmarks. Think caveman."
"I do have very robust and hyper-masculinized cranial landmarks. I've just never had it put to me in exactly those terms."
"I told my wife later and she was like 'omg she has the hots for you!' Lol." - PolackTony
"This made me robustly laugh out loud." - cephalopodio
"This is the most anthropological thing I have seen in weeks. Anthro nerds hit different." - salajomo
"That is hard core dirty talk from an anthropologist." - ackoo123ads
They're Real
james mcavoy kilt GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"I went to Mexico with a buddy about 10 years ago and we were drinking with a bunch of people. Well another group of people were standing near us and kept looking over and whispering to each other, staring at us until finally a few of them approached us."
"The one guy looks at me and says 'are your calves real?' I was like 'ughhhhh yeah.. they're real,' he turns to his friends and yells 'they're real!' "
"They all proceed to walk over and talk to us. A group of maybe 10 people complimented me on my calves, it was very weird."
"I play a lot of sports like football, American football, soccer, hockey, baseball, rugby, basketball etc, so that probably helps; but even as a baby I had really big calves." - CdnRageBear
She Likes Your Hair
episode 1 hair GIF by The BacheloretteGiphy"I had a girl tell me she'd like it if I got hit by a car so that she could cradle my head and stroke my hair as I died." - wishsleepwasoptional
"People like that should come with warning signs and maybe a legal disclaimer." - Traditional-Newt4172
"That sounds less like a compliment and more like a confession." - SylvanWhisper
"Perhaps you should keep your distance from that young lady" - makeupandjustice
Those Beady Little Eyes
GIF by Lovecraft CountryGiphy"An older gentleman I regularly walk by on my way to work and have never exchanged words with randomly said to me one day:"
" 'I don't know whether you want to beat me up or kill me, but you look at me with those beady little eyes and it's scary. But you are a sweetheart I love you, I do' "
"and honestly, as a petite young lady who tries to look intimidating as I walk alone, my day was made." - yellow_birdie
Welp, That Took A Turn
rose GIFGiphy"I work as a barista at Starbucks. One time this guy came in and ordered a Carmel Frappe. I asked him if that was all for him and he said"
" 'Yes, unless I can get a Trenta of you with my order.' "
"Now I'm very easily flustered so I immediately started blushing and he looked me right in my eyes and said
' "You look beautiful with a blush across your face. It looks like a rose that was flattened by a car.' "
"Now I'm no flirt master, but I don't think that's how you get a girl." - av0cad0-cat
Wat?
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Once heard 'You're not gorgeous, but you'd never know it to look at you.' "
"What?" - tequilamockingbird99
"Wut????" - pottymouthoftheyear
"Negging at its finest. Probably though you were super hot, so he felt he had to knock you down a few pegs." - Clionara
Y'all ... my non-robust cranium hurts now.
Redditor H5N1BirdFlu wanted to discuss the moments in life that left us haunted and shook, so they asked:
"What is the creepiest or most unexplained event that you have ever experienced?"
I've seen so much creepiness I wouldn't know where to begin.
Deal
Walter White Wink GIF by Breaking BadGiphy"One car from one direction, and another car from the other direction stopped in front of my house. Both drivers got out and one gave the other a briefcase. Now that I am older I am guessing it was some kind of drug deal or something but at the time I found it very weird."
yapastaocho
'The Entertainer'
"We had a little copper music box that would start playing on its own. It was a man sitting at a player-piano and it would play 'The Entertainer' song. Now, I know that music boxes and such can spring (for lack of a better word) forward and play a few notes, but this thing would act like someone had wound it up and would play for a minute or two completely at random."
MercuryCrest
He?
"Me and and someone I used to know in high school way back when met to catch up. We were talking about our views on religion at some park. When we were walking back to our cars some guy said he had overheard us. We interacted a little and then went to our cars. I told her how awkward I felt knowing he overheard everything. She looked at me and said, 'He?'”
"After some comparing notes we realized we’d seen and heard entirely different people. She’d seen an elderly woman. I’d seen a middle aged man. Only problem is we only talked to the one person."
AccomplishedAuthor53
Overnight
"I usually go hiking and stay in the forest overnight, sleeping in a bivy and sometimes under a tarp. Now it's important to say I'm based in Europe. So no wild animals to be afraid of because usually they just boot it as soon as they notice you."
"So one winter night I'm sleeping under my tarp which connects to the ground on one side. It's in an area where there were fierce battles in the forrest on the border between Germany and Belgium in WWII."
"I hear something walking in the leaves, which is normal. There are always deer and ferral pigs on and about. But this time it comes closer and closer until I hear it right on the other side of my tarp and it starts growling. Its a noise I gad never heard and for a moment I was frozen trying to figure out what it might be and what to do."
"But I just decided to yell back and that did the trick. The animal walked a few steps and then turned back to growl once more before finally retreating."
"Let's put it this way, I didn't sleep for a while after that. I looked up the noise and think it was a badger."
Forest_Walkin
Devoured
Episode 4 Abc GIF by The BachelorGiphy"My family used to raise cattle. One morning I came out to check on them and I found one of the heifers had been more or less completely devoured."
"This same cow was perfectly fine the day before. There was nothing left but some hide, bones, and intestines. Thing is none of the predators that are in my area would be able to kill and eat an entire cow within the course of one night. Much less leave so little behind."
Aussieshepman
Poor cows. They live a rough life.
The Night Before
Get Out Omg GIF by Get Out MovieGiphy"When I was a kid, we lived in a kinda rural area. One night we came home late from an Uncle's house and there was a car parked up the road from our house with the headlights on."
"My mom suggested to my dad that we go see if they need help, he said no, so we went inside. Next morning police knocked on the door, a cyclist had spotted a body in the ditch exactly where the car was parked the night before."
Tpeest
Documents
"I have had a strange thing happen recently. I was waiting for my tax documents to come in so I could do my taxes. I had three documents that I put on my bedside table until I had the time."
"I decided to do it the other day and I couldn't find one of them. I tore the house apart, quizzed my husband (who swore he never touched it), checked the garbage, etc. I had resigned myself to the fact I would have to request another one, when it arrived in the mail."
"It was the same one, exact same information. I was really confused but grateful. I checked into it, it was not sent twice as far as the office could tell me."
"I don't know what to think. I KNOW I had that document because I had done some calculations with it. It's been itching at me like crazy."
monitormonkey
About 30 Feet
"A few months ago I was sitting in my living room on the couch, watching tv with a family member late at night. We have a high ceiling with a couple of rectangular windows at the very top of the wall just under where it meets the ceiling. The windows are so high (about 30 feet) we really only have them for natural lighting."
"So on the night in question, a green laser beam suddenly shown down through one of the windows, seemingly scanned the entire living room before stopping and pointing the beam right next to my family member for about 10 seconds and then disappearing entirely. It had to be either a drone or from some sort of flying aircraft. I live in a relatively secluded place which made the situation all the more unsettling."
0friday
Find Her
"Pretty sure I witnessed a kidnapping once and it still lives rent free in my head (the woman lost her slipper when she was trying to get away and i took a picture of it that i still have for some reason). I did indeed report it to police right after I saw it occur but they were pretty blasé about it and I never ended up being able to determine what they did to investigate."
ergaster8213
From Behind
the exorcist shadow GIFGiphy"I was in Jr High and had really long hair. I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and almost tripped on a shoe on the floor. I bent down to move it and it felt like someone grabbed my entire pony tail and yanked it. I also could not sleep facing the wall for the longest time because it always felt like someone or something was right there behind me."
cheeseburgerphone182
Never face the wall. Life lesson.
These were some harrowing experiences, and we're glad these Redditors made it out to tell the story.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor NeedSomeSparkInLife wanted to know who would be willing to share, so they asked:
"What makes you not want to be intimate with your SO?"
I'm an easily turned off person.
So it doesn't take much.
Desire
Bored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Taking a moment to realize I'm the only one that makes sexual advances in the relationship. Makes me not want it. People think men only want sex for face value but a lot of men actually want the feeling of being desired more so."
Relative-Hour-9359
Anger Issues
"I've always heard of fighting then having sex after. Fighting has always made me not want it. The last thing I want to do when someone pisses me off is have sex with them. What made it worse is she always wanted to when we were arguing which made the argument worse when I refused."
DaMoonRulez_1
"I think you're supposed to resolve your fight, realize that you care for each other a lot, move past it, then have the passion because of that. Not fight right into sex."
Ksp-or-GTFO
Take a Shower
"My ex and I were together for nearly 7 years, but his hygiene never improved, so we stopped being intimate like, 3 years before I finally broke up with him. He showered only once a week, but he worked in kitchens, so he was sweaty and greasy all the time."
"He had an infected tooth, so he constantly had bad breath, but he refused to visit a dentist, even when he had the money to afford dental work. He stopped working out within the first year of us being together, which sucked because he would get jealous if I went to the gym by myself or with my girlfriends, but he refused to come with me."
GreenChorizo
Sober Time
"Personally, the only issue I have is my SO's drinking. He just becomes an unattractive person when he's drunk. It's one thing if we're both out socializing and drinking together occasionally, but he drinks almost every day, sitting on the couch in front of the TV and to the point of sloppy drunkenness way too often. His face changes, his posture changes, his personality changes... I just get so turned off."
WeptSiren3113
Hang Up
Art Hello GIF by LINDSEY L33Giphy"When they are glued to their phones non stop! Put that s**t down and look at me before we go to bed!"
Palmwine
"I really dislike this too. Makes me feel alone in the relationship."
RealBrownPerson
No phones in bed. Hard rule for many of us to follow.
Step Back
Be Quiet Go Away GIF by Ryn DeanGiphy"When I make a move, and then get the feeling she's not really in the mood/would only do it to please me. I want us both to have a good time, not only me. So when she seems not into it, I take a step back."
Level-Plate8372
Calm Down
"To be brutally honest, her anxiety and insecurity makes sex such a hassle. She doesn’t believe anything I say about wanting her, she can almost never relax during sex, she doesn’t take time to enjoy it, and if God forbid I have any trouble finishing, she takes it more personally than anything, which of course puts more pressure on me to finish, which then makes it almost impossible."
Ben_Franklinstein
When at Wal-Mart
"When they’ve done something really nasty/unkind that day. Cruelty is the most ugly thing a person can show, in my eyes. I had a boyfriend that I went to Wal-Mart with and he ended up flipping off and storming right past the sweet little old man that checks the receipts at the door."
"It was partially about how I used to check receipts and I remembered how I felt when people treated me like that- but I also remember the look on the little old man’s face and just how disgusted I was with my partner being so nasty about it."
"I couldn’t touch him after that and I got grossed out when he touched me. And then I started to notice how he was nasty to other people as well. It eventually led to our break up."
spxdergirl
33 Years In
"My husband used to dislike his job - he’d come home and do nothing but bi**h. After awhile, I just gave up trying to cheer him up with sex - you can only try so long. So, we had a long dry spell - like, whatever you think a dry spell would be, it’s longer. When someone is constantly annoyed, well, it’s hard to feel amorous."
"Anyway, he early retired (54) like a month before Covid kicked in and by autumn that year, well, let’s just say we’re back to what we were like when we first met. He’s not pissed off all the time. (I’m retired as well, and let’s just say, afternoon nookie is such a perk, as is morning nookie and 3am nookie because you can sleep in!) I’m glad we stayed together. Going on 33 years and we’re just so happy."
NicInNS
Rage
Angry Inside Out GIF by Disney PixarGiphy"Feeling angry. I hate feeling angry. I don't like being around other people when angry. So I'll go for a walk, a drive etc, and just clear my head."
jackfaire
It seems like "dead bed," as some folks call it, can stem from many things, from mood, attraction, hygiene, and more.
Do you have anything to add to this list? Let us know in the comments.