Most men are seriously wrong about vaginas, the far-reaching interests and motivations of women, and what is involved with CARRYING A HUMAN BEING INSIDE YOUR BODY.
I am not a woman. I cannot fully empathize with how frustrating men mansplaining women to women must be.
But I can read this reddit thread and at least understand on an intellectual level. It's also pretty hilarious to hear just how far reaching men's ignorance can be.
Reddit user xClovis7 asked:
Women of reddit, what myth about women is 100% untrue and infuriates you when you hear it?
Best learn what's going on down there
"We pee with our vagina." Exiode
"That the more sex you have, the looser your vajayjay gets."- kevnmartin
"That the clitoris is hard to find."
"Or that labia grow exponentially with lots if sex."
"Or that vaginas are anything but elastic."
"Basically every ridiculous myth about female sexuality and their genitals."- fck-rffld
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Work from home is still work
"Maternity leave is basically vacation."
"If you've ever experienced the exhaustion of carrying a child and the intense body changes that occur during and after delivery, you'll find out that maternity leave is necessary for recovery and is not a vacation."
"Try working with a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th degree tear while now trying to deal with a baby that needs to feed every 2-3 hours."- pinkblossom331
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Ladies like coins and random crap too!
"That we don't need pockets in our fu**ing clothes."- Minemose
Girls just wanna chill
"All women want/need children."- Proper-Atmosphere
"That as little girls we all dreamt about our future wedding. Not all women want to get married or actually enjoying attending weddings"- Smurff833
Some people just suck
"That because you don't like another woman it's only because you're jealous."
"Listen, I can hate a woman because of something she did or said and in no fu**ing way be jealous of her."
"She may be just dumb"- Mishy-P
Yeah not how that works
"That we can just 'hold' our periods."
"Do you honestly think we would still need feminine products if we could do that?"- tanya6k
"Stuff about our periods in general."
"Like if we're mad, it's definitely because we're on our period."
"We never have a legitimate reason to be upset."
"Also myths like we're able to hold in our period or we only have it for a day or that we're impure."
"The impure one definitely infuriates me."
"I just think about the billions of women throughout history, and sometimes even today, being treated as if they're impure or an evil omen because of a bodily function they cannot control."
"Banishing them to menstrual huts when they have their periods or not allowing them to touch anything."
"And yes, this happens."
"My mother as a teenager was not allowed to touch anything when she had her period."
"It got to the point where she would just not tell anyone she was menstruating and do what she wanted."-lady_laughs_too_much
You also don't like crowds and spending all your money?!
"That we all love shopping. I fucking HATE shopping."-SaltyDoggoMeo
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Double Standards
"That all of us secretly hate each other and are innately gossipy and b*tchy."
"Some dipsh*t on here tried telling me once that he knew all women resented each other because he knew the 'nature of women'."
"That old saying 'men insult their friends but don't mean it and women compliment their friends but don't mean it' paints women as catty/unable to have genuine friendships, which is BS."- AristaUndertaken
"That women are irrational because of their hormones."
"The irony is that some men make excuses for their behavior because testosterone apparently makes them unable to control themselves."- faded_watercolours
Not about you
"That if I am dressed nice I want attention."
"Nope. I just chose to look nice today."- LevelHeadedPsycho2
Soooo much more to discuss
"My favorite stereotypes of women I hear is the idea of how we interact with each other when we're in groups. "
"90% of my conversations with half of my friends revolve around the latest video games and horror movies coming out."
"Occasionally we'll talk about emotions, relationships, or clothes and make up, but we would both be bored if that was all we talked about."
"I also know of about 1 person who greets me with 'hey girl!'
"I refer to both gender friends as dude."
"Not that any of that is bad, I just find it hilarious when people assume women get all squeally and affectionate or close and gossipy when they spend time together."
"Our friendships are just as unique and varied."
"Doesn't so much make me mad when people assume I'll act that way with my friends as it makes me laugh and pity their ignorance.- TeReese1006
Judging Oh No GIF by Robert E Blackmon
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Yes You Are!
"I went to preschool in a church."
"My teacher told us the story of Adam and Eve."
"At the end she said us, 'this is the reason god made women afraid of snakes'."
"Several girls spoke up and said they weren't afraid of snakes."
"I don't remember what my teachers exact response was but I remember she was really annoyed."- EmmaRose49270
My Mom, For Example, Sounds Like a Weed Wacker
"That women don't snore, seriously, I've heard this loads and it always baffles me."
"People breathe when they sleep, sometimes it makes some noise, male or female. Let em breathe."- JARlaah
Poor Sports
"That females are not good at video games."
"Or that they have a male friend who is boosting them to their current rank, if it's higher than theirs."
"And then when they find out you're actually better than them they try to deny it."
"It's so annoying to go in a lobby with random people and it's filled with guys who belittle you or talk down to you because you're a female."- Meowmehpls
girl GIF
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A Classic
"That we are bad drivers. I have had my first car for 3 years."
"I'm in my early 20's."
"I have never crashed, but have had two men crash into me from behind."
"Both times I had to fight tooth and nail to the officers to believe me."
"Both times the blame was given to me, even when the crashes were from behind and back side, merge lane and red light, The cops' reason? 'well, unfortunately ma'am, I have to put the blame on you since you are a fairly new driver'."
"Drive safer next time/ You should always keep distance while in the merge lane even if he was behind you'."-teachmehowtodookie
Hymen to That
"Not a girl, but i always found it sad to see articles where rape cases are shut down because she has an intact hymen."
"The hymen doesn't break the first time you have sex, but it can if you are too rough with it."
"Hell, horseback riding and tampons can break it."
"And it won't always bleed the first time, it may break, or it might not, both are perfectly normal."- Thritzer
Have Both
"This was mentioned several times in high school: 'women give sex to get love and men give love to get sex' which I think is as insulting to men as it is to women."- butdoesithavestars
Season 5 Flirt GIF by Friends
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Nobody Wants to See You That Much
"That we all hate when our significant other is going to hangout with friends & we expect them to be with us 24/7?"- totesmagotes69
It's what's on the inside that counts.
"Even though I'm male, but here are 2 myths that I know and feel sick when hearing them:"
"If the woman is too ugly, she's very rude."
"If the woman is very beautiful, she's a cheater or a gold digger."
"But really, most people don't understand that beauty doesn't affect any person's character at all, expect for insults."
"Trust me, you don't need to find a normal woman just because 'she's trustful', but in reality, she's going to break up with you when you reach debt, and also, some ugly-like women are actually people that need help, and they may be really funny and interesting woman."- CyLove13
Who are YOU calling emotional
"We're too emotional."
"See: Donald Trump."
"That man throws a hissy fit every ten seconds, but nobody accuses him of being too emotional."
'Meanwhile when I have some creepo following me home so I go buy pepper spray and a stun gun, I'm 'overreacting'."- Sm0ltowngrill
Jennifer Coolidge Emotion GIF by HBO
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An underappreciated art form
"If you do pole dancing, you're a whore."
"Just because a woman enjoys this sport, doesn't mean she'd bone your mediocre a**."
"Also, how these same sh*theads never acknowledge how difficult it actually is."
"The bruises, the cramps, falling, potential serious injuries."
"It's not just pretty twirls."
"I know that in the grand scheme of misogyny this is a drop in a lake-sized bucket, but it gets to me."- OwnGap
Just one?
"I have 3."
"Women are naturally caring and kind, when I met a lot of bitches in my life who showed zero support and I swore it felt like I was dating a guy but then felt cache since i know a lot of caring and gentle guys."
"Sex education was an odd example of every time you have sex its like the last person leaves residue inside of you.'
"An example was she put a drop of dye in the bowl and showed it on the projector then added more."
"It messed me up because I felt some people were gross and I was a jerk to them."
"Sure its way better if your partner doesn't have a f*ck ton of past sexual partners since experience really differs with each person for what they like in the bedroom and for that one person mostly but I felt like a jerk because I thought it was gross and told a few that."
"lol."
"Kind of related to 2 but whatever, that women need a lot of partners to be good at sex."
"Like naw each person is different and its not that hard to figure out basic anatomy."- digitalpro95
"Well, what you add to the list? "
"Let us know know in the comments?"
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
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"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office
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Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations
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A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K.
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A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO
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Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.