It's fair to say future historians have their work cut out for them when they try to decipher exactly what went on with the internet of the early decades in the 21st century. Everything from the birth of social media to "memespeak" to whatever we were all doing with Tik Tok during quarantine will definitely many to reconsider their profession uncovering the past. What will stand out most, however, might be the transfer of internet attitudes to real-world actions.
The things we took off our computers, off our phones, that became real, will certainly raise a few eyelids in due time. For now, though, we can only hope people soon outgrow these kinds of toxic behaviors.
Reddit user, u/InsomniacNimrod, wanted to hear:
What toxic behaviour has been normalised by the internet?
How Dare You Attack Caffeine?
GiphyBlaming your a--hole behavior on:
- a lack of caffeine
- the phases of the moon or the alignment of the planets/stars
Who You Are Online And Offline
Family members trying to maintain a certain "image" to project to the world. When my brother in law married 2 years ago, my husband's family was all about trying to please the bride and force the image that they were a nice and traditional family (my in laws have been divorced for years and it's far from friendly).
Everything had to be perfect to show everyone on social media outlets. They definitely didn't like me because I don't really play into the whole "be happy for the 'Gram" image. I was 9 months pregnant at their engagement party and was so uncomfortable being anywhere far from the hospital in case I went into labor. But I had to be there, otherwise it would be awkward to explain why my husband was there alone in the pictures.
Should Definitely Not Be An Insult Anymore
Calling people gay if they do something unusual or different.
This mostly happens at school and it really p-sses me off every time I see it happen to someone.
Don't Get On People For What They Want To Do
Well, I think one thing that is utterly stupid and is being normalized is making people believe in imaginary timelines of what their life must look like at 16 or 18 or 20 or 25. This is basically doing nothing but robbing people of their self confidence and pushing them off track or maybe in an endless spiral of depression.
We must understand the fact. When we buy an electronic item or even a cloth it comes with some instructions. None of us are born with any manual on "How to Live your Life". Therefore chuck the notion of comparing your lives with others. They did this, they have been to this country, they are earning this much, they bought this Car and blah blah blah blah.
A Different Belief Is Not An Attack On Your Belief
Attacking someone for a belief that differs from yours
And then justify by stating your personal points against that belief. As if your belief is superior.
Are You Talking Or Bragging?
Bragging about bad mental health.
If it will help in removing some of the stigma associated with mental illness, I'd probably be OK with it
Part of it removes the stigma, but part of it turns mental illness into a trend, a bludgeon with which to use against others, and a pissing contest. For every thoughtful internet discussion on mental illness I see, or for every person using humor to cope, I see 10 people excusing someone's bad behavior because "well they might have depression or anxiety." Or someone screaming over someone else because their diagnosis is greater than yours.
Not to mention the armchair diagnosing, and the fact that while some mental illnesses have been destigmatized to the point of being fashionable, others are still very much stigmatized and used as a flippant way to completely write off human beings.
On reddit, it's cool to have depression and anxiety, but NPD, BPD, and bipolar are just excuses to cut others down (in addition to being way overstated and armchair diagnosed. Your mom being a b-tch once in a while isn't indicative that she is "a narcissist" and needs to be involuntarily committed). There's also a lot of misinformation and old wives' tales circulated about the "acceptable" diagnoses, too.
It's One Moment In A Large Internet History
GiphyMob mentality.
Couple this with bandwagoning, and we have thousands upon thousands of strangers who would hunt people down over a questionable tweet, sending death threats and making them lose their jobs.
Like wew.
How pathetic and empty does someone's life have to be to send death threats over a f-cking tweet?
Do It Because It's Good, Not Because It'll Get You Points
Doing a small favour or good deed for someone, but recording it and posting it on multiple social media platforms. This type of behaviour has been a factor (one of many factors ) in me ending a couple of friendships.
Whatever happed to helping a little old lady cross the street without having a pathological need to display it to the whole world.
Understand Why You Say Things The Way You Do
Political correctness and idealism over realism/pragmatism. People are more interested in "sounding correct" than actually being logically correct these days. People are concerned how their statements will be received by "the tribe".
I can come up with a million stupid comments and posts that are nonsense but would get thousands of upvotes.
Just Go Check Yourself In Under A Bridge
Trolling. So trolling, which kinda came with meme culture, can be humorous and entertaining, but always at another persons expense. Which is like bullying in a way. I understand that it looks way more mild mannered in comparison, but it can be harmful. Any form of bullying can be harmful. And the internet is a catalyst for these types of things.
You don't see who you're interacting with and what's going on on the other side of that screen, how that person is being affected ya know? Trolling is the focal point of many memes and jokes nowadays, so people do it without even thinking about it. So it's super normalized to me.
You Have To Give People A Chance To Grow
Probably a lack of a chance for redemption. People can get fired for some one-time joke they tweeted 6 years earlier that got dug up once they were in the spotlight. They could have easily changed in those 6 years but their record is ruined permanently.
And then there are people who put their real picture on Reddit and set their real name as username, those people blow my mind.
To Worry About Everything Is To Worry About Nothing
Expecting everyone to be perfectly aware of every single thing that's happening in the world at once. Also, not being able to make mistakes.
Between school, work, working out, and trying to enjoy what little free time I have, I don't get to keep up with everything going on in the world - and people will give me sh-t like, "How do you not know this?" Sorry I don't spend every minute of my life on social media.
Exactly. Plus, not only is it absurd to expect people to know everything that's going on in the world, it's also unhealthy. The constant stream of bad news is awful for our mental health. Trying to keep up with everything is like a recipe for depression, really.
Start There. Move On Past It.
GiphyUsing social media for information instead of doing research.
And the complete lack of backing down from bad information. The lack of apologizing or changing direction when you learn something new. People share falsifications, learn it was wrong information and do nothing...no apology, no clarification.
^By far and large, this.
Fact checking? Critical thinking? Straying from the echo chambers and flood of disinformation on social media?
"lol, this meme hit my trigger point, so I'm going to spread this as though it's fact. I don't really care if it is true or not, only that it matches my cognitive dissonance."
F-ck!
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
- People Break Down Which Toxic Behaviors Are Still Considered Socially Acceptable - George Takei ›
- People Divulge Which Toxic Behaviors Are Becoming More Acceptable Now - George Takei ›
- People Explain Which Things Society Should Normalize - George Takei ›
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.