People Explain The Common Phrases That Instantly Piss Them Off
Andre Hunter on Unsplash

What did you just say? And why?

I find myself asking that question pretty constantly.

I ask it to myself and to the world.

Sometimes we don't even realize we've been indoctrinated by generations of language that is just rotten.


Redditor SpecificRainxwanted to hear about all of the ways certain syntax can really set people off.

They asked:

"What single phrase instantly pisses you off?"

"I love you."

I'd start there.

What good does it do?

I kid, I kid...

LIES!!

"Your call is important to us!" ~ DeathSpiral321

“Please stay on the line, a representative will be with you in a moment.”

"50 MINUTES LATER:"

“Your call is important to us! Please stay on the line, a representative will be with you in a moment.” ~ Bobby3Stooges

Giphy

Did you hear me?

"So, what you're saying is... [dishonest misinterpretation of what you said]..." ~ RationalPleb

"Ooh, I hate this one. I have a coworker who always says this. I'm not trying to say anything. I did say something that you are trying to understand." ~ Cb8393

"That's even worse than ignoring you. It feels like you're their enemy, and they try to destroy all your arguments with deliberate misinterpretation and you know they feel smart about it too..." ~ Dude_Named_Chris

No Excuses

“'I’m just a *itch!' or 'I’m just an a**hole.' It’s always said flippantly, as an excuse to act sh**ty." ~ Pixledreamgirl

"A friend of 18 years said 'I’m just an a**hole, you know how I am' about something recently and it was the wrong bat day and wrong bat channel for that crap and I ended our friendship that instant. Enough with negative a**holes." ~ IcanSew831

Listen

"Please listen carefully, as our menu options have recently changed.?" ~ KangarooMaster319

"I maintain some phone systems - it's to get people to pay attention to the menu, not because anything has changed." ~ Sparcrypt

"Like that’s the most important thing on my plate today. Listening carefully to their changed menu." ~ brekthroo

2 Years!

"Due to the Covid-19 pandemic, we are experiencing longer than usual wait time. IT'S BEEN TWO YEARS, HIRE SOME MORE DAMN PEOPLE!" ~ eka8897

Giphy

I hate menu options that change. And I hate menus that blatantly change for no reason. So frustrating...

HELP!!

"Nothing cracks me up more than 'if this is an emergency, please hang up and call 9-1-1. Oh! Because, in the case of an emergency, my first thought is to pick up the phone and call my bank or internet service!" ~ exceptAcceptance

Giphy

Swing Away!

“Aren’t you too old for that?”

"I HATE THIS.!!!! You can swing on swings, color a coloring book, play with Legos IDGAF." ~ _andy_suarez851

"Usually said by people with boring lives and no hobbies. Yes I play video games, I like swings, I like to colour. I like to fill my life with joy, I don't want to only work, come home, put on Netflix, deal with a bunch of screaming kids and go to sleep. I think there is a level of jealousy in this comment." ~ SmallPooka

“brutally honest”

“I just tell it like it is and people don’t like it, 'I’m just brutally honest.' 'People don’t like me because I speak my mind.' 'I don’t play nice with others [said with a huge smirk, it blew my mind].'"

"Um no, our coworkers don’t like you because you’re a *itch. If you’re 'brutally honest”'you’re more excited about a chance at brutality than the actual honesty. You can be honest without being just straight-up mean."

"You can speak your mind while being professional. How can you be a whole-a** adult and not get along with any of the other adults around you??? They must be the problem. Right, of course." ~ WanduhNotWandull

We get it...

“Oh get over it.”

"My family would say that a lot when I was upset. Like when a drunk family member broke my $100 Halloween decoration and couldn’t understand why I was pissed."

"Edit: I glad and sad that people are able to relate to this. It’s such and invaliding statement. Also thank you everyone for the upvotes. I’m still learning how to navigate Reddit so this is kind of neat to see.I made an account years a ago and then didn’t use it until now. :) " ~ Evoehm13

Second Opinion Please

“Your doctor is wrong. You couldn’t possibly have ___.” ~ Grace-and-Maya

"Someone at work told me I was too young to understand the signs of a stroke, (I'm in my late 30s), after informing her my mother died from stroke complications."

"She proceeded to inform me that I had to be incorrect and wouldn't know that, then decided to try to tell me a story about her family member that died that was a more shocking and impactful death than my mother."

"Mind you, this woman did not know my mother and this was about the 4th time she ever spoke to me." ~ DeusRexy

Giphy

Clear!

"People who say 'Do I make myself clear?' are almost always jerks."

Plantayne

"A few years ago I was telling my son off and I tried to say 'do I make myself clear?' but got mixed up with 'do you understand?' I ended up saying 'do you make yourself clear?!' then tried to correct myself and ended up saying 'Do I understand?'"

"My husband from the next room going 'not really, no!' was the final nail in the coffin XD."

Duvetmole

Explosive!!

"Calm down!"

NonZealot

"Never in the history of calming down has anyone ever actually calmed down when told to calm down. If I am upset, telling me to calm down will pretty much instantly make me go nuclear, especially if the person telling me to calm down is the reason I'm mad in the first place."

deagh

"This frustrates me so much! Some of my family members who shall remain unnamed say this in arguments when they are getting upset. In the mean time I am calm and them saying this is what gets me upset."

Sjeetopotato1

Al's Words

"Half the stuff in Weird Al's 'Word Crimes' song. Especially 'I could care less.'"

irving47

"That means you do care. At least a little."

NootTheNoot

GIF by Team CocoGiphy

Karen don't Care!

"The customer is always right, like WTF... NO most of the time they are wrong."

EggnWaffle

"Good luck telling Karen that she is wrong, she has all the time and all of the anger and she’s always right and want to see the manager."

stankydragon

"That’s only half the phrase. The real phrase is 'the customer is always right in matters of taste.'"

haydensidun

'no offense'

“No offense, but—“

nineninety-nine

"I knew a woman who would preface almost everything she said with 'I’m not being funny, but-' the word funny here basically meaning offensive rather than silly or humorous. What was weird is she would say it even when she wasn’t saying anything controversial at all!"

“'I’m not being funny, but your Nan is a lovely lady.' 'I’m not being funny, but the girls really like their new school.' 'I’m not being funny, but I don’t like chocolate.' It’s literally the same thing as saying 'no offense' here but it was just her little quirk."

Susim-the-Housecat

Caring Always

"I could care less."

knovit

"A friend of mine tried to justify why it was grammatically correct to state 'I could care less' rather than 'I couldn't care less.' To which I attempted to explain to him, but to no avail."

thurowuhwei

"Remove the negative and expect the same meaning. I’ve never been able to work out this misunderstanding. They’ve heard the words but don’t understand what they mean, then start saying it themselves. It’s not even that complicated."

trev2234

Excuse me?

"Whatever."

m4maggie

"Omg, I was trying to get a library card yesterday, but I just moved a couple towns over and didn’t have proof of residence. The librarian was so rude about it! At the end I just accepted I wouldn’t be getting a card that day and I said I’d put the book back myself. She replied with 'whatever' and I was just stunned. What the hell?"

HarrisonRyeGraham

Shut Up KIM!

“Nobody wants to work anymore.”

KarlaMarqs1031

"Had the pleasure of talking to an older guy who needed a rental truck for his work (I work at a body shop). I told him that Enterprise will set him up with a similar class of vehicle, to which he said, 'well they better, I’m one of the last people still working for a living!' Big laugh. In my head, I was like, what the f**k does it look like I’m doing then?"

KarlaMarqs1031

Kim Kardashian Fashion GIFGiphy

Ear to Ear

"'Smile.' Why? What kind of life do you think I have?"

Zealousideal_Talk479

"Weird how people say this but never ask what’s causing you to frown in the first place. They just expect you to lighten up so that they feel better. And sometimes people just have RBF and you have to explain yourself all day everyday as to why you look so grumpy. It’s exhausting."

REDDIT

Language is supposed to grow with time, so let's start trimming the fat.


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