One of the worst ways to end a relationship is with infidelity.
Trust is the foundation of every relationship. If you can't trust your partner, someone you want to spend your life with, then who can you trust?
It could be earth-shattering discover that your other half has strayed. And even if the relationship doesn't end, the damage is done.
It's an emotional toll to not be able to rely on your partner to not cheat on you.
Redditor TheGoodOJ wanted to know how to avoid heartbreak, and so asked people:
"What signs do you look out for to know if your significant other is cheating on you?"
Keen Instincts
"When my first ex was cheating on me I had no evidence and really no hints to it whatsoever, however, I had this terrible gut wrenching feeling that she was but I was naive enough to dismiss it. Always trust your gut but never accuse without evidence."
– Gamefreak536451
Defensive Behavior
"Less sex, defensive behavior when asked simple questions, and I found out her Tinder profile was still active . We originally met via Tinder so I kind of had it coming."
– Zephyror
Unfair Accusations
"I think if they constantly accuse you of cheating when you've never been anything but loyal, that's a sign of their mindset, not a good one."
– aflashinlifespan
Involuntary Information
"Constant reassurance that they're not cheating on you when you haven't even accused them of it."
"In a panic she also went for the morning after pill when we hadn't slept together in more than a week. That was quite a good one as i got about 30 different reasons for it."
"Yeah i'm still bitter about a breakup HAHA." – AltruisticVictory3
Slam-Dunks.
"An acquaintance from years ago was a part-time Private Investigator."
"He told me that cheating cases were slam-dunks. The suspicious SO would hire him, and he would recommend that they sign up for a club or a course or a fitness class. Anything, provided it was a regularly scheduled event."
"Then he would wait a couple of weeks, and tail the suspected cheater. 99 times out of a hundred, if they knew their SO was occupied for a couple of hours, that's when they would hop the fence. Gotcha."
– PJMurphy
My Who?
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"You wanna go to the movies or something tonight?"
"Can't, I'm banging your cousin."
– StrangeEye3
Trust your guts.
"When you know they've cheated in the past - with you on their ex is the obvious classic here - expect exactly the same to happen to you. In other words, do not start to think of yourself as the exception."
"Loss of intensity. And I'm not only talking about the good kind. The other sort is often more telling. A relationship may not be in the best of places, but it's over when fights turn to silence. You get the gist, applies to lots of areas."
"Probably the biggest two. Best course of action: trust your guts. You pick up on more things than you think. Or to be more precise: than you can put into words. Also important here: know yourself well enough to notice when you're starting to deceive yourself. I've yet to see one of these "left me out of the blue" stories, where the signs weren't entirely clear to everybody around but the one person in denial."
Red Flag
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"From experience it's usually all those things that make your gut feeling go wild with red flags. Maybe some people are ok with a hidden relationship status on fb but in my case it was a red flag. Some people don't care if their S.O. doesn't post about them but in my case it became a red flag."
"I think red flags can be really specific to each relationship but if you have to ask then usually you already know, you just need some solid proof to get you to see it." – pirate_for_life
16. Fool Me Once....
"More and more money is mysteriously missing from the bank and he/she is suddenly able to not only buy up Boardwalk and Park Place, but immediately starts adding hotels to these high-end properties. [Tip: Subtly lift up the board and see if he/she has been squirreling away ill-gotten cash underneath. That's exactly what my cheating mistress was doing when we would play Monopoly in the motel room. Fool me once...]" – shugerbooger
Parents Explain Which Things Surprised Them Most When Their Child Moved Out | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Parenting is a lifelong commitment but the load is certainly lightened when kids go off to college or move away for their first "adult" job. It can be quite ...Does She?
"Does she keep her phone locked around you? Does she watch how much she drinks around you? Does she leave the room when she takes phone calls? Does she keep perfume in her purse? Does she shower before sex? Does she shower after sex?" – justDave91
Small behavior changes.
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"Small behavior changes."
"With an ex of mine, we always used to be very open with each other especially when it came to our phones. We'd take calls or check messages for the other if they were busy and there was no need for passwords cause neither of us worried. Then it changed. He became very secretive and would guard his phone and keep it in his pocket or always have it with the screen facing down. It wasn't hard to figure out what was going on."
"There was also a decrease in attention or contact. He didn't want to hug me or even hang out with me without it seeming like a chore for him." – EtherealArmy
Password.
"Their phone..."
"So many dead giveaways that never really existed before."
- Their phone is attached to the hip...
- It has a password, or a new password...
- Password changes frequently...
- Does not use any biometrics to unlock...
- Unnecessarily long password...
- Is very protective of said device... (Never lets you handle it under any circumstance. Never lets you look at the screen when it's unlocked...for any reason!)
- Is on it more frequently...
- If you live in North America...anywhere, and they have a dual sim device...
- Notifications is turned off, so is ring tone/vibration... – winter_quanza_een
Change in schedule.
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"Change in schedule. Less interested in sex with you. Gets agitated if you need to borrow their phone. Right after getting home, not wanting to do stuff until they showered and changed. Especially if they didn't mind before. Mostly looking for personality changes." – thisguysbosses
No Lectures
"From experience,"
"She says she's busy with work when you have a date idea you know she'd like. And she only works mornings four days a week. I did the math and it didn't add up and then I caught her with another man."
"She lectures you about jealousy alot and guilt trips and shames you and demands you get counseling. She wouldn't be that concerned if she didn't have other men she didn't want you getting in the way of." – soda171717
Distracting from what's going on
"Starting a fight or making a huge drama when they arrive home so you think about that instead of where they've been."
– DegeneratesInc
They project onto you
"I think if they constantly accuse you of cheating when you've never been anything but loyal, that's a sign of their mindset, not a good one."
– aflashinlifespan
If they're indifferent
"I was told hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is. In the grand scheme of things talk to one another. But be worried if they just don't care."
– Zeapher
They might be hiding something
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"Needing their phone everywhere they go, guarding of the phone, and withdrawn or less communication. These are all red flags, but one doesn't mean cheating, but more of a collective of things."
Trust your instincts
"When my first ex was cheating on me I had no evidence and really no hints to it whatsoever, however, I had this terrible gut wrenching feeling that she was but I was naive enough to dismiss it. Always trust your gut but never accuse without evidence."
– Gamefreak536451
They try to change you
"My ex fiancé suddenly wanted to become vegetarian although he's always been an absolute carnivore. He started telling me that I would look better with short hair. Turns out the side girl had short hair and was vegetarian."
– Chrysophren
Simple little lies
"lying. it doesn't matter what its about. I've uncovered cheating in past relationships by prying at the smallest lie."
– rosecolour
Drastic behavioral changes
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"Any changes. Dressing up, going out all of a sudden, going to the gym more often, constantly on the phone."
– Nazisloveme
They get way too agreeable
"When they are telling you exactly what you want to hear which will sound strange if you were expecting them to say something contrary to that in the first place."
– NoMoreNiceyNice
If you're doubting you S.O., it's not a good sign
"Do yourself a favor and don't go down that rabbit hole. If you have no trust in a relationship, you have nothing."
– CarinaRegina1957
Many Redditors brought up similar points about guarding cellphones or changes in behavior, as indication of red flags in a deceitful relationship.
But the one constant observation was that people should listen to their guts when they have their suspicions about the person they're sleeping with.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.