Sex in the workplace is a problem.
Everybody sees it. Eventually.
The glances.
The stolen moments.
It's all on display.
And the one lesson I've learned most assuredly is... you can't hide the attraction for long.
My best advice... be cool. Ignore one another.
And even that can be a sign.
Redditor IndependentSwimmer67 wanted to discuss the times we've all suspected the scandalous relations of coworkers, so they asked:
"What are the subtle clues that indicate two coworkers may be involved in a secret sexual relationship?"
The number of co-workers I've witnessed have flings?
I could write books.
Scandal
Season 1 Lol GIF by NBCGiphy"They laugh just a little too much and a little too loud at each other’s jokes."
GetOffMyLawnFFS
"They stare just a little too long…"
Meta_My_Data
Rimshot
"The new 17 year old kid where I work was overheard saying 'there's no way that Rimshot and the kitchen manager don't have something going on. You see the way they act around each other?' Me and the kitchen manager have been married for 12 years."
rimshot101
"My wife had that moment at her work. Patient transporter always stopped by and chatted up the unit clerk. Only 3 people in the department knew they had been married for decades."
DrunksInSpace
Disappear
"Always going to lunch together. Both call in sick or on vacation at the same time. Disappearing at the same time during team building or company functions. Both are working late. Leave work at the same time. None of these are conclusive but should create suspicions."
Impressive-Offer-404
"I worked in a place years ago with two co-workers who'd always disappear together for lunch and come back two hours later with McDonald's that they then ate at their desks. Not terribly subtle."
JimTheJerseyGuy
HR Ladies
"I had a boss who I was almost certain was having an affair with one of our HR ladies. They would always sneak off to go chat together, they'd go smoke together, they took lunch together every day, she'd go hang out in his office. They were both married."
"Her husband got offered a job at the company and I remember when my coworker learned about it he was like 'really?' And gave a wide-eyed glance and a nod over at our boss's office. So I wasn't the only one who thought this. As soon as her husband came to work there, all the visits stopped."
SweetCosmicPope
Restaurant Life
Tv Show Hulu GIF by The BearGiphy"Check to see if they have both significant others, if the answer is yes than they are probably doing it. Especially if it’s a restaurant."
NotGlumExamination
"If it's a restaurant, significant other or not, they're f**king. - 25 years working in restaurants."
sam_the_beagle
Oh, the restaurant life. Sex and food = Scandal.
Let's Play
Love Island Couple GIF by PeacockTVGiphy"They don't work in the same areas but are constantly together, looking at each other too much plus referencing conversations they had outside of work. They are a little too playful."
Shepard_of_fire_124
“AGAIN?”
"There was a rumor at my last job that I was sleeping with one of the cashiers. The rumor got started because she was my best friend and I would give her a hug every morning when I saw her. Most people assume men and women can’t be just friends, so obviously hugs equal sex."
"The moment I found out about the rumor I texted her fiancée and said 'Apparently Haylee and I are having an affair. It came as quite a shock to both of us, because we had no idea.' He though it was pretty funny. When I told my wife, she said 'AGAIN?' This isn’t the first time a rumor like that has been started about me."
DieHardAmerican95
Oh Emma...
"Frequent eye contact, conversations that revolve around flirting, slight touches."
Inside-Currency9002
"One time we were in a meeting with just the newbies doing training (no management) and one of the girls very lightly brushed the arm of the guy next to her while getting a pen or something and this girl Emma just stops and shouts 'WHEN DID YOU TWO START SHAGGING?!'
Wind_Yer_Neck_In
How Strange...
"My wife was pulled aside once by her religious boss who pointed out that he had noticed her leaving the building at lunch times with a strange man and that he didn't think that it was appropriate knowing that she was married."
"What he didn't know was that the 'strange man' was me. We happened to work for different companies on different floors of the same building. Some times it's best to keep out of other people's business."
MickSturbs
Hang Ups
"I worked at a law firm a while ago and one of the partners and the receptionist were having an affair. Both married and the receptionist became pregnant. I’m not entirely sure who the kid’s father is. But the way I could tell was that I was her backup coverage so any time she needed a break I would cover. The partner would call and either ask for his secretary and hang up before the transfer happened or say nothing and hang up. They both divorced their spouses and are now married."
naturalguy38
We Notice
Season Finale Moments GIF by Sweetbitter STARZGiphy"When it happened at my old job we started to notice when their lunch breaks started to align and they both walked out of a private room together everyday. They were both on their cell phones at the same time and refused to really talk to each other in person."
sunshineandcats21
The signs are there if you look closely enough, especially in certain jobs like restaurants.
Do you have any signs that we missed or funny stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Curious to hear from strangers online about their developmental growth, Redditor 1234kyou_ asked:
"What did you swear in your childhood you would never do, but ended up doing anyways?"
Some hobbies that delighted us as kids never really go away as these Redditors have experienced.
The "Bird Creep"
"Birdwatching. I used to think it was the lamest way someone could spend their time when I was a kid. How could anyone just sit around and look at birds? What are you, some kind of bird creep? ... 20 years later and I'm obsessed with birds. Love hearing their songs and seeing all the beautiful colors."
– Koala-teas
Unfilled Dream
"Give up drawing."
"I actually broke my own heart when I recently found a school project we did back when I was a kid. We had to write a letter for our future selves and mine starts with: 'Hey, did you become an artist already? I really hope you did not become a boring adult with a boring job who gave up on his dreams and passions.'"
"Well, sorry little me, but I kinda did."
– Aesma_
Tending To One's Garden
"Gardening. We had a large garden. We raised and preserved what we grew. It was me and my sister's job to care for this garden. This was back when whipping your child was acceptable punishment. I was whipped sooo many times, because I hated that I had to grew and preserved vegetables I did not like. I hated it! Swore I'd never have a garden. Never do THAT to my kids. Then I had kids. A switch flipped in my head. I had to have a garden! I never made my kids take care of it. Gardening was my 'me' time. But being little kids, they wanted to be with mom and 'help' with the garden. I 'gave' them an area and they were allowed to grow whatever they wanted. If it was a fruit or vegetables , they had to eat it. As a result, they both love gardening and neither are picky eaters."
– Eogh21
When it comes to keeping it in the family, it's not always the goal.
Like Father...
"I have become my father."
– jer1303
Like Mother...
"I have become my mom.... even the voice is similar."
– rogue1206
Dad's Cynicism
"I've taken on a lot more of my dad's cynicism than I would like, but mostly I have my mom's wonder and carefreeness."
"But my dad is rich and mom is poor."
"He does not share the wealth he just shares 'you should've done X like this'. But his advice is the level of 'tear down the sign punch them in the face and say you're looking at your new employee'. I've also never heard a single dad joke from him."
– BugTester350
Posthumous Disapproval
"When I was touring houses to buy before the pandemic, my mother's spirit must have possessed me because I opened my mouth and her voice said 'i don't know, i don't think I could live in a house without both a coat closet and a linen closet.'"
– TJtherock
Adulting is hard.
The Financial Hole
"Get into debt I can't pay off."
– lilviviv
Potty-Mouth
"I said I wouldn’t curse unless a nuke was dropped on my house. That was a f'king lie."
– -notjosh-
Can't Wait, Don't Hate
"Have sex before marriage. Thank f'k I never made good on that one since I'm 41 and have never been married."
– squid1891
I'm a pretty fussy eater. Always have been.
I grew up in a Japanese family where regularly eating natto was a thing.
Natto is a Japanese dish made from Bacillus subtilis-fermented soybeans. It's known to have magical health benefits but the smell is overwhelmingly powerful, and the nutty taste leaves little to be desired.
Many people not used to eating exotic foods can't stand the flavor and slimy, sticky texture–let alone the pungent aroma.
I swore as a child that would be the one food I would never eat again after having a bad experience.
And yet, here I am as an adult, eating it for breakfast 2-3 times a week after truly understanding the health benefits.
Natto–which is rich in protein, vitamins, and minerals– helps maintain healthy cholesterol levels, reduces blood pressure, and can prevent heart disease. Some studies have suggested it can prevent certain cancers.
Once I trained myself to get used to flavor and smell, I actually crave it now.
It's definitely an acquired taste, but it's crazy to know that we are all capable of liking or appreciating something previously thought of as repulsive once we set our mind to it.
"Hiring managers of Reddit: What makes you immediately throw out a résumé?"
Not In It For The Long Run
"I once received an application from a man in his 60s."
"Solid CV, lots of experience."
"In his cover letter he wrote 'I'm applying because the Job Centre asked me to'."
"Please note that I intend to retire in 6 months time'."
"We had a good laugh, then sent him a very polite rejection letter and wished him a great retirement."-BeerPoweredNonsense
Season 1 Lol GIF by NBCGiphyMake Sure They Actually Get The Right Document...
"One time I had someone upload how to upload their resume from Dropbox instead of their resume."- rabidwhale
Always Proof Read!
"I'll usually still interview unless there is no relevant experience, but I've seen some atrocious resumes."
"I've seen people use crutch words like 'uh' in writing for a job description."
"I've also seen a sentence 4 lines long with zero punctuation."
"The same resume will have 'attention to detail' as a skill set."
"I've interviewed for one of those resumes, and the applicant said 'I dunno" to about 80% of my questions, and it turned out he didn't even know what job he applied for'."
"It's not that I'm overly picky, but if someone can't spend the 20 minutes or less that it takes to proof read their resume, are they going to put a lot of effort into their job?"
"Maybe, but it's hard to know."- ChristyM4ck
Read Book Club GIFMake Sure It's Legible
"The only time I have ever had to throw out a resume was because someone possibly had it in a bag with their lunch and the paper was soaking wet and dissolving as I tried to unfold it."
"It was just unacceptable to process."
"The application was left in a drop box so I don’t know if it was a prank or an actual applicant."- 416unknown
Unprofessional Email Address
"Back in 98 I asked a new group of hires at GIECO to write their email addresses on a list that was passed around."
"Remember email was kinda new back then.. "
"One young female employee's email address included 'mybaldc**tchie'."- catjugglinpimp
the messengers aol GIFNever Send Someone In Your Place
"It’s been a long time but I used to do hiring for a cinema."
"Staff were often young, for many it was a first job, making popcorn and selling tickets type of gig."
"I would not pursue anything where parents came in with a CV for their teenager or if parents were contacting me on behalf of their teen."
"Big red flag."
"Either their kid didn’t want he job in the first place or they’re incapable of taking initiative and it doesn’t bode well for how they’d be as an employee."- FigJamAndCitrus
"Having your parents submit your resume while you stand silently beside them."- krim2182
It's Pure, Dumb Luck!
"I remember a meme or maybe a tv skit from a while back."
"The hiring manager had a huge pile of resumes on his desk."
"Someone asked how he was going to sift through them all."
"He took 2/3rds of the pile, threw them in the trash, and remarked 'I don't hire unlucky people'."
"Lol."- SpecialSpite7115
Im Out Breaking News GIF by Homes.comGiphyAll About The Formatting
"This doesn’t matter 100% of the time but bad formatting."
"If it’s hard to read I probably won’t read it."- Far-Gain-3081
Depends On The Job
"If it's a professional position, significant spelling errors will make me pass on a resume."
"If it's a warehouse job or something, I'm less concerned."- staffsargent
Don't Treat It Like A Text Message!
"Former hiring manager here."
"I tossed MULTIPLE resumes that used text message abbreviations throughout the resume and cover letter and one that included emojis."
"While you can do pretty much anything from your phone, it doesn’t mean you should."- spectacularuhoh
text texting GIF by Fifth HarmonyGiphyChoose Your References Wisely
"Not me, but a friend who checks resumes/CVs had a belter."
"Candidate had a conviction and his reference was his friend 'Baz'."- LexiRae24
Make Sure You Have The Relevant Skills
"I know it’s pretty specific but If your looking for a scheduling job make sure you know how to use Excel and clearly state it on your resume."
"It will probably get thrown out otherwise."- LoyalPlanets
As stated before, no two hiring departments will have exactly the same prerequisites and red flags, so no matter how hard you work, your resume is never going to please everyone.
That being said, multiple misspellings and a cheeky e-mail address are a surefire guarantee of not pleasing anyone.