Fat blocker pills that magically undo all the damage you're doing to yourself with the way you eat do not exist.
There's no essential oil.
There isn't even a foolproof surgery.
Sorry.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news that you already secretly knew, but facts are facts.
Reddit user OutlandishnessNew471 asked:
"What is one thing that doesn't exist you wish actually existed?"
As much as I wish (and oh man I REALLY wish) that I could twerk it out on some tres leches and just pop a pill and it would be like it never happened, we're just not there yet.
We're also not "there yet" with this stuff:
Free Day
"Another free day after Sunday."
- Ferna_89
"Took a 20% pay cut to take Mondays off forever. Best decision of my life 1000/10 would never look back."
- ryandunndev
"For about 6 months, I worked Tuesday-Friday, 10 hour shifts, it was glorious! Every weekend was like a holiday weekend!"
- MazerRakam
"I don't like to credit covid with anything, but if one good thing came from it, it was normalizing working from home."
"My job went to a hybrid model so now all my Mondays are work from home."
"That extra day tacked onto the weekend where I'm working, but don't have to do allll the sh*t associated with commuting is a really nice little transition into the week."
- linds360
Giphy
The Watch
"I used to watch this show as a kid where one of the character’s uncle had a teleportation watch and I couldn’t wait to grow up and get one."
"Imagine my disappointment when I found out this wasn’t a thing!"
"Unless you watched TV shows on French-Canadian TV, I don’t think you’d ever have come across Robin et Stella, but it was amazing."
"Uncle Darius had a rapidotron for his work but the kids would go on adventures with it! They also had a secret passage between their two houses."
"I was so envious!!"
- multiplesneezer
Just Sleep
"Sleeping pills that actually make you sleep normally and restfully."
- MONKEH1142
"Yes! Melatonin makes me dream every awkward moment or fight in my life! Mash up style."
"Yup. I’m asleep. Nope. No rest. Aaannndd I’m sad."
- winedogmom88
"Something like Propofol in pill form?"
"I was given a Propofol infusion for my colonoscopy and I swear that was the best, most restful sleep I have ever had. And the come down is typically pretty clean, too."
"I can see why Michael Jackson liked it so much."
- TokesNotHigh
"For a natural solution that doesn't involve taking something, tire yourself out - as in exhaust yourself by doing a lot of high effort physical activity and do not eat right away."
- commentsandchill
Love What You Do?
"A job I genuinely love."
"Not like, not tolerate, but love going in to every day and actually look forward to."
- cain62
"Its the money for me…"
"I love teaching. But I can't make my current salary if I were a teacher. Now.. pay me 200k a year to teach the little buggers how to read and they’ll be reading in binary in a month."
- LowLightComment
"I think the issue with that would be, if you love it and are passionate about it, you want it to be a hobby, not what you do for a living and spend the majority of your time at."
"I'm a general handyman by trade. I fix and build things all day."
"My wife thinks this means we should be renovating our house every weekend and putting my skills to use making some sort of kickass modern home."
"When I finish my shift, I don't want to see tools again until the start of my next shift."
- JPMoney81
"There’s a reason why super wealthy people usually don’t work and just have a bunch of fun hobbies. The second you turn your hobby into a job, you start to hate it immediately."
- Burrito_Loyalist
Off To Sick Bay
"A medical body scanner in the style of Star Trek."
- Jake_Thador
"I would love to be able to get scanned any time I have an illness or weird pain, it says 'you are not dying' and then my anxiety gets relieved immediately."
"And then it gets snarky and tells me to eat more fruits and veggies and maybe purposefully exercise more than once a month. I’ll trade my hypochondria for negative reinforcement."
- RunningFromSatan
"I constantly dream about this."
"I imagine an archway that you walk through or maybe a small room with 360 degrees of sensors and after a real quick scan, it can tell you everything from harmful microbes to the percentage of cancer cells to damaged bones and tissue or the presence of viruses and diseases."
"I feel like our medical knowledge still needs to improve greatly."
"Do you know how many 'syndromes' and things we have that we actually have zero understanding of what causes them and how to effectively treat them?"
"They're usually things like, 'We don't know what's wrong with you but we've seen it before so we gave it this name and here's some meds that kinda sorta almost help but have terrible side effects and aren't a really effective treatment.' "
- Wonderful-Custard-47
Giphy
Dry Heaving
"Male birth control pill."
- regaito
"I took flomax for a kidney stone a couple months ago."
"It has a little side effect I discovered that the doctor didn't warn me about. It can cause you to not ejaculate when you orgasm."
"I looked it up and it has been researched as a male birth control pill."
- ProbablyaDrugDealer
"Like a dry heaving dick"
- drhyde6969
"So naming it 'flomax' was them mocking you?"
- RagingAnemone
"They trialed male birth control pills. The men in the trials complained about the side effects too much, so they pulled it."
"The funniest part is that all the symptoms were ones that women regularly deal with while on birth control."
- creepy-cats
Wasting Time
"A food pill that gave you good nutrients and made you feel full."
"I love eating, don't get me wrong, but when you have a job that makes it hard to have nutrient dense food then a pill would cover you till you get to cook dinner. Just because it exists doesn’t mean you need to use it three times a day."
- thicboibran
"I watched the Jetsons growing up and their food pills is all I have ever wanted. I hate cooking and cleaning and wasting time eating."
- kurotan
"I wish this was a thing on those days when nothing sounds good and I don't want to cook."
- Eat_Carbs_OD
Undo
"An undo button on elevators."
"I feel like I should have picked something more profound to answer this question, but an undo button is just so simple that I don't know why it doesn’t already exist."
"It’s really embarrassing if you mess up in a full elevator lol"
- --Hank-Hill--
"YES!! I hate when I accidentally press the wrong number and can't un-press it."
- wyrd_werks
"Just recently I actually hit the wrong button in an elevator and pressed it again in frustration. It actually unselected the floor!"
- cjfunke
"I’ve never seen it in the States but almost every elevator I’ve seen in Singapore has that option."
- Spice_135
Giphy
This One Is A Must
"A sarcasm font."
- edjennersmilkmaid
"I remember reading that someone tried to do that years ago but it never caught on. I believe it was called sarctalics."
- Hydra_Master
"I think there is a sarcasm font, or at least I’ve always written it as:"
"OoOoOh gReAt ThAt’S jUsT fAnTaStIc"
- LordofMushrooms
"This one works but its more a mocking tone than sarcastic and is hard to type out."
- karmagod13000
"Well...you could always just type /s..."
- OutlandishnessNew471
Karl Pilkington Is A Genius?
"There was a short bit by Karl Pilkington about having a machine that lets you swap bodies with your doctor so they could feel what was wrong with you for a more accurate analysis."
"Probably one of the only sane things he’s ever said though."
- 3rdAccountPlsDontBan
So now that you know what Reddit is daydreaming about when they wishfully imagine inventions, it's your turn!
What do you wish existed?
Is it some grand device to better humanity? Is it something wildly impossible like consistent sizing in fashion?
We'd love to hear it.
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Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
Giphy
What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
Giphy
Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
Giphy
Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
Giphy
Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy
"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
