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Cringe!: The All-Time Worst Attempts At Flirting

Reddit user Veetojek asked: 'What was the worst attempt at flirting you have ever seen?'

Not everyone excels in the art of flirting, and who can blame them?

Getting the attention of someone you admire can be nerve-wracking, and your lack of confidence in the heat of the moment can be amplified and make you appear less attractive to the object of your affection.

Curious to hear examples of what to avoid in the pursuit of passion, Redditor Veetojek asked:

"What was the worst attempt at flirting you have ever seen?"

These advances are just genuinely bizarre.

Inept Pupil

"My friend in college started hanging out with 'pick up artists' and decided to demonstrate his prowess to us on the quad. His strat was to approach a girl and ask what she thought he should make for dinner that night (I guess it was supposed to lead to an invitation?) He then very-much-not-confidently approached a girl who was clearly in a hurry and, staring at the ground, delivered the line. The girl glared at him and, with great annoyance, said 'I have no idea! Spaghetti, or something?' And my buddy, still staring at the ground, said 'Oh-oh-ok. Uh, thanks' and shuffled away."

He also “learned” from this group that you’re supposed to touch a girl’s arm every time she laughs to condition her to associate your touch with a release of dopamine or endorphins or something. So I witnessed this several times as well, never done with any subtlety or charisma. He did finally get laid after about eight months of trying but the whole thing seemed creepy to me."

– Dr_broadnoodel

Weird Pitch

"It was me. In sixth grade I wrote a girl’s name on a rock and threw it at her during recess. Apparently they don’t like that 🤷🏻♂️"

– neon_eyeballs

"Did your approach change much from those days with the introduction of pokeballs?"

– OP

Stranger Danger

"On a walk with my dog, hot sweaty and not in the best clothes. This man drove behind me following me for a few minutes and I looked and said can I help you? He said let’s go on a date! Hop in!"

"I said no thanks and he revved his engine, asked if I was sure then sped off. I was legit scared."

– Allieora

These attempts at flirting are straight from a sitcom.

Down The Rabbit Hole

"A man asked a woman sitting next to me, 'I think your name is Alice since I'm lost in Wonderland.'"

– boukaree

"Oof. That made me cringe, imagining it."

– No_Letterhead_7683

Hairy Situation

"Guy on a trip saw a new girl in our group that he found cute. Decided to take the insult-as-a-form-of-flirting path and told her she had really hairy arms for a girl. Mind you, she had incredibly fair skin, so her hairs stood out more than usual. She, having too nice of a personality to say anything, laughed it off, covered her arm in a real smooth manner, and went on with whatever conversation was happening. My guy thought it worked because it 'made her laugh;' and you know you've got the green light when she laughs at your jokes. The next day he goes up to her during breakfast thinking he locked it up and exclaims, 'Oh my god your arms are so hairy that it's gonna make me sick!!' She doesn't laugh this time, runs back to her room, and changes into a long-sleeve shirt. She proceeded to wear long-sleeve shirts or sweaters for the remainder of the trip...in the middle of July. They didn't have a single interaction for the remaining 4 days."

– TYRONEmonies

Fumbling For Words

"My own. Drunk at a party talking to a cute girl she takes her glasses off. I thought this would be a good time for a genuine compliment. What my mouth said 'I like your face better with your glasses on' she just laughed. Pretty sure what I was trying to say is I like your glasses, and you have a pretty face. I just combined them."

– HooterEnthusiast

Clumsy Gymnast

"When I was in 3rd grade I had a crush on my babysitter."

"I decided to impress her by demonstrating my acrobatic prowess. I sprung from the side of a spiral slide and grabbed the monkey bars without touching the ground. Unfortunately, my hands slipped, I flipped through the air, and shattered my wrist in two places upon landing."

"My first thought was, 'Don't cry; be tough.' then I saw my wrist, it looked like a sine wave. I immediately started crying."

– ANerdCalledMike

Some guys come on way too strong

Hey, Barkeep!

"I saw two girls talking at a bar, and this guy walks up and interrupts them with a 'Heheheyyy, what are you ladies drinkin tonight eh? (Slaps the bar) Hey Barkeep, lemme get a couple rounds for these two!' They of course took the drinks, but promptly relocated away from that obnoxious dude."

– Xdude199

Bye, Scooter

"When I was younger I worked in a bar with a guy nicknamed 'Scooter.'"

"He'd say to any girl that was alone at the bar, 'Hi! My name is Scooter. I like to f'k. How do you like me so far?'"

"Some would glare and walk away, and a couple of times he got slapped across the face...but eventually he'd get a giggle."

"And he never went home alone."

– PJMurphy

Scene From A Gas Station

"When I was working at a gas station I had a dude just walk up to the register and just go ‘hey you have a boyfriend’"

"Of course he didn’t take ‘I’m not interested’ for an answer after. My assistant manager had to all put shove him out the door to get him to leave."

– SilverSoulFox

Daddy Cringey

"I worked in retail for a long time."

"I’ll never forget the time when this late 50s looking guy blatantly cat called an older woman who was wearing black boots. He said, 'Damn baby you gonna wear those boots all day for daddy?'. Then she goes, 'Not a chance.' He went quiet and she walked away. I had to hold in my laughter cause it was just so cringey to see."

– xSevusxBean4y

Either one's advances can come off as presumptuous and cocky or vulnerable and meek.

In most cases, people looking for love are overthinking it.

Here's a tip: Just relax and be yourself when approaching someone you like.

Being natural will not make you look desperate.

While there are no guarantees in scoring a date with this approach, chances are that with practice, you'll gain more confidence without overdoing it.

Bow WOW!: The Smartest Things People's Pets Have Ever Done

Reddit user CoreyMatthews asked: 'Pet owners of Reddit, what are some examples of your pet doing something that made your realize how intelligent they are?'

A cat and a dog lying down next to one another.
Photo by Andrew S on Unsplash

We all love our pets.

And be it a dog, cat, parrot, or turtle, we all like to think our pet is cuter and smarter than everyone else's.

Most of the time, that is purely owing to our unending love for them.

But every now and again, we might witness our pet do something truly extraordinary, leading us to believe that our pet truly is the smartest animal on earth.

Redditor CoreyMatthews was curious to hear about the times people were truly blown away by the intelligence of their pets, leading them to ask:

"Pet owners of Reddit, what are some examples of your pet doing something that made your realize how intelligent they are?"

Talk About Coordination!

"I watched both my cats sit in the hallway and roll a ball back and forth between them gently and on purpose."

"They both know how to open doors."- TurbulentStep4399

The Real Truth About Cats And Dogs

"I had a cat that learned to turn on my radio so I would think the alarm was going off and get up to feed him."

"He and my dog would also team up on me in various ways."

"The most memorable was when I had gotten a little water pistol to squirt the cat when he got on the kitchen counter."

"I always kept the water pistol in the very back corner of the kitchen counter."

"I got home one day, and the water pistol was chewed to pieces on the floor."

"It was too far back on the counter for the dog to have reached it by herself (and it’s not the sort of thing she would normally have liked to chew on), so the only explanation is that the cat climbed onto the counter, pushed the water pistol across the counter until it fell on the floor, and then convinced the dog to chew it up."- TheBat3

More Than Most People Can Say About Their Children!

"My 6 month old kitten will alternate bringing his mylar ball to me or my husband to throw--taking turns."

"He plays fetch better than my dog did."

"He puts his toys away at bedtime."

"I have a small basket that we keep his toys in."

"At bedtime, I'll tell him, 'Let's pick up your toys' and he will get any toys that hasn't been eaten by the couch and drop them in his basket."

"No hard balls/toys as he can't pick those up with his mouth."

"I pick up those."- Danivelle

cat playing GIFGiphy

The Female Of The Species...

"I had two Shelties and one large dog bed."

"The female Sheltie did not want to share the bed with her brother, so whenever he was lying on it she would go to the door and start barking like crazy at … nothing."

"He would leap up barking and race to the door to guard the house alongside her and as soon as he got out of the dog bed, she would run back and curl up in the middle of it."

"He never caught on."- NoNefariousness104

Always On The Lookout

"My dog greeted me at the garage door when I got home."

"He then had me follow him to my daughters room, then my sons room, then the front door."

"My mother in law had picked up the kids."

"He was telling me that 'this one and this one are gone and went that way'."

"Let’s go get them!'”- YourFriendInSpokane

Asking Permission Never Goes Unnoticed

"I had a blue heeled mix that was crazy smart."

"Two of many examples:"

"He was occasionally allowed to eat table scraps off of a plate but was never allowed to beg."

"He had to wait until the plate was put on the floor."

"One day I was caught up working on my laptop and had put the scraps from my dinner on the couch on a plate next to me."

"An hour or so went by and I saw him pick up the plate off the couch and put it on the floor so he was allowed to eat it."

"He slept in my room and was getting up in years."

"One night after I was settled in bed he let me know he needed to go outside, thinking an older bladder, I got up to take him out."

"Instead he went to the kitchen and turned to look at me."

"Curious I followed him."

"Same thing , he went to the family room and waited for me."

"When I turned on the light, he went to an end table near the TV where one of my teenagers had left an uneaten piece of fried chicken."

"He stood and stared and it and then turned to me and I swear he asked if he could have it."

"I laughed and took the meat off the bones and put it in the floor for him, after which we both went back to bed."

"How he knew that chicken had been left there is beyond me!"

"I could share dozens of stories like this."

"He was as smart as most humans I know."

"I will miss him forever."- JCKligmann

dog human eating GIFGiphy

Peeing With Purpose

"My mom's cat had a urinary infection."

"So he peed a tiny bit in the bathroom sink and waited by it for my mom to see it."- HyliaSerket

Everyone Wants A Little Attention Every Now And Then...

"A small thing, but my cat will paw at my hand when he wants to be petted."

"The first couple times it happened, I didn't think anything of it, until I realized one day that he basically had me trained/conditioned to pet him whenever he nudged or pawed at my hand."- Square-Raspberry560

And You Thought All They Could Do Was Change Colors

"My chameleon will look me square with both eyes and make a chomping movement with his mouth when he’s hungry."

"He’ll also pat at the glass if he wants to come out."

"He’ll hold a grudge, calculate ways to go or get what he wants."

"One of my Boas will only look at me when hungry."

"She had a go at caudal luring whilst doing it the other day."

"Like 'look, dude, I know you bring the food'."

"I’m hungry, look I’m even trying to lure you to give me some food'."

"It worked."- Ugglug

Giphy

A Kind Gesture Is Never Forgotten

"My brother’s cat, Coconut."

"We live 2,600 miles apart."

"The first time I met her, I gave her a little pink fuzzy kitty toy."

"2-3 years later was the next time I was able to visit her again for the 2nd time ever."

"She immediately disappeared & came back with this filthy, dusty, brown toy that had obviously been hidden away somewhere."

"We dusted it off & it was the toy I had gifted her years before."

"She remembered me."

"My brother said he had never seen the toy again until that day."

"She’s also very precious with her toys & will leave them outside his bedroom door as bribes."- emilyyancey

Innate Obedience

"When she was a baby I said, 'Go get your toy!' in the same pitch I always do."

"Never trained her with that phrase."

"She went a grabbed her toy and came back."

"I tested her again the next day and the next day."

"She went to her toy pile and brought back a toy each time."

"She picked up the phrase by herself."

"She's also the first dog I've had that looks at planes in the sky when they fly overhead and recognizes dogs on TV even on mute."- Spare-Bread8416

Get The Tissue Ready...

"I have two cats and a dog."

"A little backstory about my dog:"

" I don't know anything about dog training."

"I wasn't even thinking about adopting a dog but it seems like it was one of those things that 'meant to be'."

"My sister found him on the street at a winter night."

"We thought he was lost and there is an owner looking for him."

"Because where I live we have so many strays and you wouldn't see many 'specific breeds', they are just strays and specific breeds have an owner 99% of the time."

"So we took him home and start to search for the owner but it was obvious that poor dog went through some sh*t."

"And we learned about his story from an animal society; that he had a few owners but all of them left him to the streets because he was barking a lot (we haven't heard him barking even once during that time), he was peeing everywhere (he did it once and that was probably because he was nervous of being in a new environment and that was it), he wasn't listening at all (we had 3 cats at that time and I said no one time when he tried to run at them and that was it, never did it again)."

"And we learned that he has been in the shelter twice with big wounds."

"And I said I'm not going to let him go through more, he stays with us."

"He learned how to let me know he needs to go out all by himself."

"He learned to pee on the pads all by himself on the days that I can't take him for a walk."

"He learned to give me my slippers when I come home all by himself because I wear slippers when I get home."

" He learned how to clean his face by watching cats doing it."

" I still don't know how to train a dog other than a few basic stuff."

"He just learns."

"That's been a really long comment."

"So I'm going to leave that how I know my cats are clever for another time."

"Thank you for reading my sweet dogs story."

"I'm glad to have him and I don't know who was lucky about all those; me or him."- LittleBitOff2Day

dog pies GIFGiphy

Never underestimate your pets.

As sometimes you have no idea of the things they might see or notice.

Making it all the more important to give them the love and attention they deserve.


A baby's hand holds an elderly woman's hand
Photo by Rod Long

Aging is a reminder that the end is near.

But life is constantly finding ways to expedite the aging process.

So many variables contribute to our looks... it's almost shocking.

Redditor sabletoothtiger_ wanted to hear about the things that can cause us to age rapidly, so they asked:

"What instantly ages someone?"

Weight.

My flipping and flopping with my weight has aged me.

It never gets easier to lose too.

Lack of Sleep

Wide Awake Insomnia GIF by MOODMANGiphy

"Lack of sleep."

Yasmin947

"Can confirm. I have an aunt who looks older than my grandmother because she regularly gets 3 hours of sleep a night while my grandmother will fall asleep anywhere."

SCG414

Farewells

"Grief, nothing ages you like Grief."

TheGreatGrappaApe

"My brother died 2 years ago, I aged so much since and now look older than some friends of mine who are 15 years older than me. On top of not sleeping well due to autoimmune issues, I notice new grey hairs every day. Grief, lack of sleep, stress. I have the trio and it's just awful. Losing a sibling is a nightmare, especially at a young age. My deepest sympathies."

ScissorsOfJealousy

Flare-Ups

"Back pain. You can't move like a young person if your back hurts."

AdWonderful5920

"I went from being active and spry to barely able to move and in constant pain. It changed so much about my personality as being active and sporty was a huge part of who I was. I also gained some weight."

"I’m way better now and not in constant pain, but there is always a risk of flare-ups now so while I can exercise and be active, it’s always in the back of my mind and I can’t do it with the carefree attitude I once did."

"I also believe it makes me susceptible to other aches and pains as the nerves all connect so sometimes a flare-up sends pains to other extremities such as my hips or shoulders. If there was one thing I could go back and change in my life, it would be to prevent the back injury."

nononanana

Seemingly Healthy...

"F**king cancer. Have watched my brother-in-law age 30 years in a month."

imapassenger1

"I have been a witness to this many times. '30 years in a month' is an accurate measurement."

WimpyZombie

"This hits close to home. My (seemingly healthy) uncle was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two weeks ago. Within the last two weeks, his body has completely broken down. So sorry for everyone here who has had to see loved ones go through this."

JosjeAB

"My mom had breast cancer (in her 50’s) like 7 years ago. All her hair turned gray and she looked frail and old for a couple of years through treatment. After the cancer was gone, her hair all grew back brown again and she looked like she did before. It was really weird."

a-ohhh

From the Top

American Horror Story Fx GIF by AHSGiphy

"Hair loss. Not me personally but I used to work with a guy who I swore was like 35, and he was 19. Poor kid."

Kaiserhawk

"When I have an interview, I let my baldness show a little bit. I look older, and I'm taken more seriously by recruiters that way."

lord_machin

Keep It

Nft Child GIF by Pudgy PenguinsGiphy

"Buccal fat removal."

arieljoc

"Surprised this wasn't higher up. People with baby cheeks don't realize how well they will serve them thirty years down the line when their buddies who teased them for it look like Skeletor."

Burly_Bara_Bottoms

Deep Breaths

"Stress."

gablamegla

"When I was younger and first entered the real world I remember working with a white-haired woman that had an always tired look about her. She had a picture of her daughter on her desk, young, blonde, that looked so incredibly much like her I mentioned it once. Turned out that wasn’t her daughter, but was her prior to her going through the FBI academy."

F_is_for_Ducking

Work of the Devil

"Troubleshooting printer problems. I swear these devilish machines only exist to trigger me to smithereens."

Philitt

"A couple years ago I decided to officially give up on having a personal printer and only use the one at the library because when it f**ks up, it's someone else's problem. I still have my old printer and I've considered dropping it off my roof for fun."

Painting_GatoI

"Had the opportunity to throw one out of a third-story window. The absolute joy I felt watching that a**hole machine soar through the air and smash to smithereens was the best kind of natural high. It's been 15 years, and I still get goosebumps thinking about it."

Natural_Garbage7674

Bad Relations

My Big Fat Fabulous Life Kiss GIF by TLCGiphy

"Having a spouse that contributes nothing to your relationship and allows your family to slip further and further into debt without caring that you're all only a couple of bills away from bankruptcy."

Xmenenslaver

Life is just an endless well of aging.

No cream is coming to save us.

people running on grass under blue skies in the daytime

Naassom Azevedo on Unsplash

There's an old saying about walking a mile in someone else's shoes in order to understand them. It's an accurate sentiment as there are things in life one simply won't grasp unless experienced personally.

For example, I've been very open about my autism in my writing.

My fellow autistic adults often share how similar our experiences are and how well we can relate to each other.

However no matter how descriptive I am, it's difficult for someone neurotypical to fully understand what it’s like to have a brain that's wired differently.

But on the flip side, my autism means there are things I'll never understand.

Like what hunger feels like or how people usually feel pain or easily recognize faces or eat spicy foods or visualize things in their mind or don't get physically ill because of noises.

Keep reading...Show less
Woman in herbal bath
Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

We've all been held to some unexpected beauty standard at some point, like how to properly and less comfortably wear that shirt, or how we should cut our hair, or that our teeth should be whiter.

In addition to being inundated with these messages that we are not good enough or beautiful enough naturally, we're also confronted by advertisement after advertisement of the latest tool, makeup, primer, machine, or supplement that will make us that much more attractive.

And some of the beauty hacks that are suggested to us are, quite frankly, really weird.

Wondering what others had heard of, Redditor Quintowne asked:

"What is a beauty standard you can't believe people actually like?"

One Word: Photoshop

"Clearly photoshopped pictures and weird posing angles."

- chemistryofacarcrash

Suspicious Teeth

"Overly perfect veneers."

- doublexxchrome

"One of my Facebook friends already has good teeth but then she went and got veneers. Now her teeth are just...too big and too BRIGHT."

- HeathenHumanist

The Nose You've Seen Somewhere Before

"Every nose looking exactly the same."

- Blitzkriek

"Thank you from all the non-standard nose people."

- hyperfat

"And ski slope or button nose. They are cute but not everyone’s face is meant to have that type of nose and it doesn’t look good on everyone. It sucks seeing so many young girls on TikTok get nose jobs and all have the exact same nose."

- DepressionBarbie_

The Over-Inflation... Of Lips

"What people do to their lips is wild to me."

- Purples_A_Fruit

"I came here to say the over-inflated lips with the ostrich lashes combo. It’s so much."

- GamerMomm

Gaunt Chic

"Buccal fat removal."

- Groundbreaking-Duck

"Yes! The buccal fat is there for a reason. It instantly ages them. They look gaunt."

- Icy_Attempt_300

"Yes. There's a difference between a chiseled face and a gaunt face."

"Peak Angelina Jolie, Taylor Hill, Monica Bellucci, etc. have chiseled faces."

"Anya Taylor-Joy, Bella Hadid, and others who underwent unnecessary buccal fat removal surgeries just look gaunt."

- RainyDayReader_999

Questionable Eyebrows

"Stupid eyebrows that look like perfectly angled stencils are a shade way too dark for their complexion. Like blonde girls with two black geometric boomerangs on her forehead."

- montanagrizfan

Dislike Big Butts

"Butt implants. Just looks nasty as h**l."

- PureDeidBrilliant

"I just saw one in the wild without all the filters that normally accompany it. It was so weird. Like a flesh diaper that should have been changed hours ago."

- yellowmew

Too Dramatic Eyelashes

"Giant eyelashes that will make you take flight if you flutter them fast enough."

- T*tsMcGhee99

"My husband hates the long fake eyelash look, and he asked me why women wear them when men don't particularly like them."

"I thought it would be funny, so I told him it's not about impressing men but about asserting one's dominance on another woman."

"He believed me and now tells all his friends that it's an 'alpha-female' thing, hahaha."

- Striving_Hermit

A Little Too Perfect

"The overly sculpted beard trend. You know when the beard is trimmed and looks like it was outlined in concealer? Neatening up is nice but a sudden pale line as a border around your stubble... looks like it was airbrushed on and not touched up."

- hecatemoonshadow

"Thank you for putting into words what I could never put my finger on. It's that weird barbershop ad look. Too weirdly 'perfect' looking to be attractive."

- dzzi

Dozens of Miss Piggys

"I’m from Stockholm. A lot of girls, particularly from rich areas, like to use so much fake tan that they are orange, and bleach their hair from what was usually dark blonde to platinum blonde."

"Then they style it to make it voluminous (which is easy to do because their hair is dead from all the dyeing) and apply lots of make-up, which typically includes black mascara or fake lashes."

"So, a lot of girls here bear a striking resemblance to Miss Piggy. There’s nothing wrong with looking like this, I just don’t understand it."

- WhereMyEelAt

"No One's Neck's as Incredibly Thick as Gaston!"

"Those grossly buff guys on all dating shows. They all look like Gaston from 'Beauty and the Beast,' and I hate it so much. I don’t even watch those shows, but the lack of variety is appalling."

- toedplatypus

Flat... Teeth?

"Grinding canine teeth flat. A dentist once took me aside and told me that he could grind mine down, flat, and make it a really good smile."

"I said, 'No, thanks,' but was thinking, 'Why in the f**k would I do that?!'"

- Bardez

Laminated Eyebrows

"Laminated, combed-up, thick a** eyebrows. Why."

- comoshnyee

"Yes! This is the one I was going to say. It is such a strange beauty trend to me that I've noticed in the past couple of years. Granted, I do come from a time when eyebrows were plucked into a high arch."

"I think people should just leave their eyebrows be for the most part. I can understand plucking, waxing, or trimming very bushy eyebrows or a uni-brow, but combing the hairs straight up and plastering them to your forehead just doesn't look good."

- KrustyKohn

Follow the Leader

"The fact that a huge portion of the world's population has successfully brainwashed itself into thinking that the Kardashians/Jenners are the epitome of beauty to the point that many are willing to imitate whatever moronic thing they do to their bodies is just wild to me."

- Tough_Stretch

Standing Out from the Crowd

"Any plastic surgery that makes random women look like they're all related. At one point, we'll all start to think thin lips and big noses are hot solely because they'll stand out in a sea of copy/paste people."

- Intelligent-Guide-48

"It’s called the 'Instagram face' and it’s a legit phenomenon that is being studied by psychologists. It’s doing so much harm to people’s self-esteem and self-concept. We aren’t all supposed to look the same."

- InsomniacYogi

These certainly were some surprising trends, and some of them seem to refuse to go away, as much as many people dislike them.

But beauty standards have a way of coming and going, so by the end of next year, who knows what will be considered beautiful and trending then?