Signs Teachers Use To Tell If A Student Lives In An Abusive Or Toxic Environment
Teachers are often regarded as heroes.
Though they might not possess superpowers, or put their lives in danger on an ongoing basis, teachers have a way of influencing the lives of others in ways they can never imagine.
Of course, there are teachers who do literally save lives.
As they are the teachers who help students who are being abused at home out of toxic and dangerous situations.
Doing so without ever being explicitly told, but rather by noticing their students behavior, or reading between the lines in their work.
Redditor noorsomi was curious to learn how teachers are able to deduct that their students need help in getting out of an unsafe situation, leading them to ask:
"Teachers of reddit, what are some signs that a student is being abused or lives in a toxic environment?"
Flinching At The Slightest Moment
"It's been a few years, but I had an incident/situation that stuck with me."
"My students were working on something, probably solving density equations, and one guy came up to ask for help."
"I was standing near my whiteboard but had left my favorite Expo marker on the cart that held my projector/laptop."
"So I reached around him to grab the marker and show him on the board how to figure out the problem."
"Hey, if one kid is struggling with a problem, there's usually several more that haven't asked."
"Anyway, when I reached, he flinched."
"Arms over his head."
"Eyes tight shut."
"As if he just knew I was going to hurt him."
"I kept him after class and we talked."
"Lots of tears, not just his."
"He showed me bruises on his back."
"I notified my principal that I'd need someone to cover my next class, and called DCS, what most states call CPS."
"He was placed in a foster home and his father was arrested."
"He missed a few days and came back."
"He wasn't instantly better, which would make for a better story, but by the end of the school year, I could see he was a little more confident, a little happier."
"This was around 10 years ago. I often wonder what happened to him."- AZScienceTeacher
Not So Subtle "Ticks"
"I developed a 'tick'."
"For years, I would rip out all my eyebrows and eyelashes."
"Half the time I didn’t realize that I was doing it, because I lived with my abuser and was so stressed out and terrified ALL the time."
"When I was 17, I finally moved in with a friend to get away from them, and people started telling me they 'knew all along' that something was wrong, but no one ever said anything."
"No one ever took action, even when I tried to come forward on multiple occasions."
"I’m begging you guys- if you see something, say something."- aliveanewbeginagain
"From my experience teaching middle schoolers for the last decade."
"They smell, particularly of cigarette smoke, weed, or just general, unbearable, BO."
"They either NEVER miss a day, when it’s clear they should because they’re obviously sick, or they miss school at least 2 times a week, because their parents can’t be bothered to get them there."
"They either avoid adults like the plague, will literally run away from any authority figure, or are very clingy to adults."
"And on the more extreme end are things like wetting themselves, sign of sexual abuse, and showing a severe lack of empathy."- coreythebuckeye
Knowing And Saying Things Children Shouldn't...
"Physical abuse think of kids who get normal bumps and scrapes."
"Then think of areas that would be difficult."
"Inner arms and legs, torso, back etc."
"Also if you ask a child 'oh how did you get that bruise, it looks sore' usually they'll tell you some huge story about how they were playing some game with their siblings, and they tried to do x and then fell and did this etc."
"Abused children will try to shut down the conversation."
"Say its not sore, doesn't hurt, not that bad, was an accident."
"You won't find out how it happened."
"Are they regressing in toileting, night time or day time wetting etc."
"Do they have an aversion to a place, person or certain day."
"Perhaps on Tuesdays they go to a friends house so they only display this behavior sometimes."
"As parents do they suddenly hate a place they used to love."
"Abusers will try to get children to trust them."
"To want to be praised by them."
"Sometimes that's a 'you're so mature for your age shall we go do x together that's your favourite right' now x is tarnished."
"As a parent you're wondering why they don't want to do this with you."
"Sleeping patterns may change."
"Especially if they don't feel safe at all times when they should have a place they can relax."
"Children may become hypersexualised."
"Know more than you'd expect for their age."
"Children can become very controlling of their bodies."
"Not wanting touched, assisted with changing, to wear certain clothes."
"Please early on ensure children know boundaries and if someone touches them or asks them to watch an area usually covered by underwear to tell a trusted adult."
"Not all abuse is a child being physically touched."
"Not all abuse is done by adults, it can be older children and teenagers."
"I've worked in nurseries, after school clubs, schools, summer camps, I've been a sports coach, a babysitter, a private tutor, a teaching assistant in schools."
"I've spent days with social work and police and now work in healthcare."
"You'll spot signs everywhere."
"You may be a member of the public walking in a store and see something that worries you."
"As many people are saying in the comments you might be the trusted friend hearing about a child in potential risk."
"Know how to report concerns, who you tell and how you escalate something."
"Know how to listen to a child without prompting and how to record the conversation on paper incase your statement is used to build a case."
"Also know reporting concerns doesn't mean someone will immediately be arrested on your thoughts."
"A case has to be investigated, social work/ child protective services and police will conduct joint investigations to determine if there is enough evidence to proceed."- koig1314
"If a student doesn't care about content and doesn't seem happy about getting a good grade, just relieved."
"I've seen students almost breakdown when earning a poor grade on an assessment knowing the pending verbal/psychological abuse coming."
"One student, living with his father and 6 hours from his mother, was sworn at and told he wouldn't see his mother for Christmas because he had a C."
"The kid cried in my classroom after school and poured his heart out about not having seen his mom for 3 months."
"Berating a child and withholding seeing his other parent for a grade?"
"High expectations are great."
"High expectations without support, however, in this case, emotional. put undue stress on students, resulting in a cycle of anxiety that can permeate their lives."- chewbaccalaureate
Teacher or not, if you notice something off with someone you know, always say something.
Sometimes, even just knowing there is someone willing to listen can provide more help than you can possibly imagine.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
If you or someone you know experienced sexual assault, help is out there. You can reach the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline by calling 1-800-656-4673, use their Live Chat tool: https://www.rainn.org/get-help, or visit the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website.
In Canada, help is available through the Ending Violence Association of Canada website.
International resources can be found through the Rape Crisis Network Europe website.
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I love money.
If I had an endless supply, I might throw it away with abandon.
But I am not blessed with that level of abundance.
Some people really take spending to an extreme.
To a point where maybe others should be in charge of their purse and wallet.
Redditor Shadowclook21 wanted to hear about the times we've seen people waste money on nonsense, so they asked:
"What is the dumbest thing you've seen someone spend their money on?"
I get we all like nice things, but we have to be smart with our coins.
Wake Up!Good Morning Time GIF by Berk's Beans CoffeeGiphy
"An alarm clock coffee machine. It was me."
When on FB
"My wife is in a lot of mom groups on Facebook. The amount of people who beg for help for their poor babies who won’t get any Christmas/birthday gifts who also show off brand new giant tattoos is amazing. She shows me every time she finds one of these people and it happens all the time. Usually multiple recent photos of them out drinking and partying as well."
"So yeah, there’s a lot of people out there who blow big money in tattoos and partying instead of setting aside a little bit of money for their kids."
"Knew a girl who would spend all her money on scratchers and drugs. She would constantly go on about how when she finally won big she was going to move and get clean.... He grandmother gave her a 20 - 30k inheritance. Nothing changed except how many scratchers she would buy. I saw her buy out whole rolls occasionally. She wised up with the last few thousand and put some advance rent on an apartment (was in a motel) and fixed her car. But that money was gone in less than 2 months."
"PSA: Accidental subscriptions. Remember, kids, if you sign up for a free trial, be prepared to cancel that s**t the second they allow you. Otherwise, they'll start charging automatically."
KaboomIm Ready Independence Day GIFGiphy
"My neighbors once spent all their money on a private firework show, then had to hide their cars from the repo man for months. No longer neighbors."
Neighbors are always going to neighbor.
Classicssia diplo GIF by LSDGiphy
"I bought a cassette tape two weeks ago. I don't even have a way to play cassettes but I still bought it."
"My Mum has spent $1000s on crystals and stones. She continues to, and gives them as gifts, I have no idea wtf to do with them so I put them in my plants pots then she gets upset for some reason. Send help please."
"Get her a rock tumbler and have her tumble her own and try to identify them. Cheaper in the long run. Makes for a more interesting hobby too, if she gets into it. It will get her out of the house and into nature. Crystals are everywhere, they literally litter the earth. A lot of ordinary-looking rocks turn out quite beautiful once they've been tumbled."
Just a Waste
"I dated a guy who would still use his debit card even when his account was over drafted because he didn’t realize he was charged overdraft fees for every transaction. I had to explain to him his single snickers bar or bag of chips or whatever from the vending machine was now costing him an extra $35. And he did this multiple times every single shift he worked."
5 More Minutes
"Gambling machines. I work in a bar room. People will play these machines for 12+ hours and never win. Then they Win $700 the next night and think they’re on top... it’s insane. They look like zombies sitting there in a trance. Once had to unplug the machine on a patron who would not leave for closing. Kept saying '5 more minutes.'"
"I worked with a guy who'd spend 200-300 bucks a week on OnlyFans. He'd brag about it, I guess he thought of he'd spent enough he might get lucky or something."
Why do some people spend with such abandon? It makes no sense to me, but it's not my money.
Have you ever witnessed someone blow a load of cash on something crazy? Let us know in the comments below.
What is wrong with people?
Have we lost all sense of decorum?
I get that people need to speak their minds, but there are some moments where silence is the better option.
When you're naked and intimate with someone, it's best to not be mean.
I would've thought that would be a given.
Unless they're mean or creepy than do what you must.
But when you're alone in bed with a partner, partners, whatever, can't we put our best foot forward?
Redditor bipolar_bear76765 wanted to hear about the worst things we've heard in an intimate situation, they asked:
"What’s the worst thing anyone has ever told you in bed?"
If I have nothing nice to say, I just leave.
Follow my lead.
Over ItStay Back Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy
"I'm not attracted to you anymore. It wasn't during sex but it was still in bed."
"I don't think you're sexy but you're really good for a cuddle."
"I know the first and I love cuddling."
"Even though I can see how this could’ve been hurtful, especially if you might’ve wanted to be considered more than 'cuddle material,' were you at least able to cuddle your way into self-soothing? Lol."
"Best vibes and hope you have fared well."
"I got called a mistake immediately after. I had feelings for her and had had these feelings for her for years."
"I thought we would never actually be anything. She was the high school crush that ended up moving away and lost all contact. Through some crazy weird circumstances we ran into each other years later. We had been flirting like crazy for weeks. She immediately cut all contact. Pain."
That was quick...
"That she had sex with a friend of mine like 20 minutes earlier."
"I had sex with someone last year who right after we finished proclaimed that she had a boyfriend. Fast forward a year and indeed, they're engaged and sh*t like that.. HOW THE F**!!"
"I had sex a few times with my housemate’s girlfriend. He was completely ok with it as they had an open relationship. She suggested it to me while the three of us were drinking together. He was fully supportive of it, I even took him aside when she went to the bathroom to make sure he wasn’t just saying it for her. It was a bit odd, but we all knew it was a no strings attached deal and it worked out fine in the long run."
Pardon Me?Nbc Idk GIF by Good GirlsGiphy
"You can use one of my boyfriend's condoms. They're in the drawer, but they're probably too big."
"A lot of dudes who wear a magnum have no business wearing a magnum."
Lord, I need a bleach bath.
Stop!Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy
"Just lost my hair due to heath concerns, was pretty embarrassed about it."
"He looks down and goes, 'Can you stop? You look like a man from this angle.' Oof."
“'You make me feel dirty when you touch me.' Happened over 40 years ago and it still crawls under my skin."
“'Just hurry and finish.' Two or three minutes in, she said it with a look of pure disgust."
"We have herpes, now."
"I could be wrong, but in some places it’s a crime to knowingly infect someone. At least, I do know of civil cases where people were able to sue for damages when someone knowingly had sex with them without disclosing their STD status."
Well people really are the worst at times. Be sure to pick your bedfellows accordingly.
Do you have any experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
In the midst of our shopping, we've all seen those warning labels on product packaging that leave us absolutely rolling our eyes. Who could possibly need to be warned about that?
But since the warning exists, we have to assume that someone made that mistake at some point.
There's the added fun of unnecessary products that no one should believe would work.
But just like the directions, there seems to be a marketable need for every product and direction.
Redditor 98_percent_simian asked:
"What product is marketed pretty much exclusively to stupid people?"
"Over-the-counter 'man-boosting' products like Nugenix Total-T. Though the commercials are hilarious. 'She'll like it too!' Yeah, I bet she did, Big Frank."
"Foot detox pads. Detox anything, actually."
Trust Your Body
"It drives me crazy when people talk about how they are going to do a cleanse and detox their digestive system because they have built up sludge."
"It's insane because your digestive system works just fine. If it isn't working, you need to be in the hospital."
Paid Social Media Features
"Every social media’s paid badges. I just don’t get it. Why? Just why do we need to pay for a badge?"
"Megachurch donations that are advertised to bring you salvation or other holy benefits."
"My friend's mother had her house painted with 5g blocking paint inside and out. She then got s**tty about her mobile not getting a signal and her WiFi not working properly."
"What did she think the paint was blocking?! Honestly, I'm surprised it did anything."
"I've had people attempt to rope me in before. The trick is that they spent hours roping you into the idea of 'working for yourself,' 'being your own boss,' 'affording for your family,' and 'living wealthy.' Pain points that any common American would typically have."
"They make you go through meetings, 'interviews,' and continually feed you the mentality and never actually mention the name of the company or what the actual business is."
"Until finally, after forever, they drop the Amway, Herbalife, Mary Kay, or whatever name. By that point, they've already sold you on the 'dream' that you convince yourself to try and put in the work."
"I've looked up definitions and excerpts about what brainwashing is. It literally felt like the same thing."
"'HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead.'"
"The ad never even says what HeadOn is supposed to actually do. It's supposed to relieve headaches, but they couldn't claim that because they have absolutely no proof of it maybe working."
"Essential Oils, not for the aromas, that’s all well and good but for its 'healing properties.' It’s sad when people become vehemently ill and rely on lavender to heal them or their children."
"Bunch of sad stories of children dying due to moronic parents believing in the powers of some plant over modern medicine."
"Fat loss everything."
Got Fight Milk?
"Fight Milk. I drink it every morning so I can fight like a cow."
"I'm thinking Scientology."
"When I go to Eastern Europe on vacation, there are mini-casinos on every corner. Sports betting, slot machines, etc. The middle-aged men in these clubs, frantically smoking cigarettes, hopelessly staring at the screens, with not an ounce of life in their eyes."
"Not sure if it's stupidity or desperation. But it's a sad sight to see."
"Online free IQ tests."
"Vacation Club 'points' (worse than a timeshare because it's nothing tangible)."
"My FIL offered to 'use points' to book us a vacation years back. He bought the points as a flex in front of his BIL and thought they were the greatest thing since sliced bread."
"Fast forward about two months after purchase and he makes his offer to cover a trip for us with some of the points. What he failed to mention/realize is that the points were for the ROOM ONLY."
"So as we started looking into the 'trip' being offered we realized not only would we have to pay for our flights but we would have to pay the all-inclusive fee at over 100 dollars each/per day. When we mentioned this he told us we would have to cover it because 'they cost too many points.'"
"So I did the math and hopped on Expedia to show him I could get the same trip for over 1000 dollars less when I just booked it online without the points. He REFUSED to believe this was possible until he tried to book his own trips with the points and ended up getting hosed. The look on his face when he tried to 'sell the points' (which the salesperson assured him would go for more than he paid for them if he decided to sell) was priceless."
"I bet you already guessed that the only 'customers' for the points are the company that sold them in the first place and they buy them back for pennies on the dollar." - YKYB
Some of these products and ideas have been around for a long time and continue to interest new consumers. But as some here have pointed out, the products are more about putting on a good appearance than actually delivering results.
Most people can be very guarded because of their vulnerabilities, even if you think you know them really well.
These disconcerting memories or character traits are better left undisclosed, for they can be painful for individuals to revisit or acknowledge.
On the other hand, opening up about these disturbing facts can also be therapeutic as long as they are revealed anonymously.
And the opportunity for strangers online to unburden themselves arose when Redditor _Lord_Infamous asked:
"What is a scary, unsettling fact about you?"
Certain facts about these Redditors are perplexing.
"I do not actually remember a decent chunk of my life, whenever I talk about most of my childhood I use words that leave room for mistakes and am generally using memories and ideas I've compiled from hearing other people say things about me."
"There is actually a large chunks of facts about myself that I only think I know, and don't have personal confirmation of."
Dead Or Alive
"I’m convinced with no evidence that my father is still alive and that my whole family is lying to me. I logically know he is not. But every knock on the door I open half expecting my father. Could be something to work through … but it’s not really affecting me day to day. My grandfather died and I thought I would feel the same way. Nope. He is dead and I miss him but he is dead."
Warning: Self-Harm Trigger
"Growing up I had a recurring nightmare set in my grandparents backyard looking at the back of their house. There was just something 'off' about the house. Something mildly sinister. I dreamt this over and over, many times over the years."
"In 2018, my dad (who now owned the house) went into the backyard to that spot and killed himself."
"I haven’t had the backyard dream since."
Nightmares Come True
"I had a recurring super vivid intense dream at like 4.... my uncle was chasing us around a labyrinth with a large knife... trying to kill me and my grandmother. 25 or so years later the same uncle (complete paranoid delusional schizophrenic) murders my grandmother at her condo... with the very nice chef knife I bought her for Christmas the year before..."
"Less scary and more shocking, but when I was 9 years old I survived a home invasion where I was shot 6 times. I played dead on the floor until the man left and called 911 and in my adrenaline rush I thought they couldn't find my house so I crawled with my left are swinging the wrong way and my right leg limp from nerve damage, all the way to the front door when he broke in from the back of the house."
"I lived with only my mother who unfortunately didn't survive. I vividly remember picking out the guy in a photo line up while recovering in the ICU."
"I am very lucky to have kept my left arm, I have 32 pins and screws to make up for my shattered elbow. My left leg has permanent nerve damage and I now have 'drop foot'. Despite my physical injuries and PTSD, I am doing very well."
We are not all born the same.
"I'm one of the lucky few with the CCR5-delta-32 mutation. Why is that relevant? It makes me immune to HIV and a handful of other pathogens, most notably the Bubonic Plague."
"I have 2 lenses in my right eye, so it focuses like binoculars. My doctor wrote a paper about it. Mostly blinded as a baby in my left eye. Dr suspected my right lense split then healed as 2 distinct lenses. Better than 20/20 in my right eye."
"When I was born, I was so premature that my dad, who had quite dainty piano fingers, could slide his wedding ring up my arm to my shoulder. (I weighed 2 lbs, born at 27 weeks)."
"I had 6 toes on each foot at birth and got them cut off you can see the place they cut them at."
People live with the unfortunate risk that their lives can be cut short at any given moment.
Ticking Time Bomb
"I have an enlarged aortic root. It's very unlikely, but it could spontaneously rupture leading to the medical term adjusts glasses... 'instantaneous death'. I would pass out, bleed to death, and then fall over. Dead before hitting the ground. And it could happen at any time. My wife is very uncomfortable thinking about it lol."
For The Sake Of Survival
"my immune system backfired and tried to murder me and almost succeeded. I now have to take multiple injections every single day all day or i'll die a painful death within a week."
"Just trying to write diabetes in the most bad-a** way."
A friend of mine once told me that the name I've known him by was not his real name.
He had gone by an alias, which everyone at work assumed was his actual name, to protect himself and his identity after he had been violently hunted down, stalked and threatened for his life for witnessing a murder.
The suspects involved were eventually caught and locked away for good.
I don't remember all the other details about the traumatizing incident because I was completely stupefied.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/