Teaching is a difficult enough profession. For example, have you ever tried to get a group of 10-year olds to care about the Mesopotamian Empire is even more challenging, but we live in a new world now. Kids are being taught at home, meaning every educator is now an online teacher whether or not they've been trained for it. With that learning curve comes a lot of, mostly hialrious, mistakes, like the ones being shared below.
Reddit user, u/AsteroidPizza39, wanted to hear about:
Students/Teachers of Reddit, what's the best 'forgot to turn off the mic' story during virtual learning?
...Yikes
season 3 embarassed GIFGiphyI had a student's boyfriend (both college) walk up behind her on Zoom; reach into her shirt; pull out her breasts; and start doing a little boob dance. She was just laughing and playfully slapping his hands away.
This was probably 30 seconds after I had just gone through my whole speech of making sure there was nothing in your browser history, Google search history, or names of folders that could be embarrassing or offensive.
A Lesson Well Learned
I had to defend my thesis over Zoom and many professors came into the call to watch. My thesis was about immune response in fish to parasites. One professor joined late and forgot to mute her mic and we got treated to this little gem:
"Shhhh. Mommy is learning about fish parasites, which is what you'll get if you don't stop peeing in the koi pond."
So Long As It Was Vanilla?
This happened like a few weeks ago, in our college class [math] a guy started a porn video and streamed the entire thing to the class. It was vanilla so it wasn't very different; but the class was cancelled for the day and there were calls placed between the students parent and the school. He ended up getting suspended for a week.
You Probably Just Cancel Classes After This
I was a dungeon master and I downloaded a voice modificator to play over discord. I left it on during a presentation of over 25 minutes without realizing that the professor and the whole class was hearing me speak like a chipmunk.
Need To Watch Out For The Wives
I was on a 40ish + call, thought my camera was off and was muted. Was having a bad day so my wife came up behind me and said "I know its a rough day, want to touch my boobs?" Looked back at my screen and heard everyone laughing, needless to say it was a bit embarrassing.
Hovering A Little Too Close
A student's mother had the habit of standing just off camera and very closely observing her kid. I know this because one time the student "forgot" to disable the mic. Everyone heard how the mother was coaching the student how to act. Don't look my way, smile, pay attention. It was next-level helicoptering, right on the edge of abuse in my opinion.
Our school has a good counselor and the student is getting help. All the teachers have been advised to limit contact with the mother and not make waves, lest she withdraw the student or redouble her controlling behavior. I worry about it.
All Hispanic Children Know Of The "Chancla"
I had a student give a smart a-- response to a question I asked and before I could respond his mom starts chewing into him and hitting him with a chancla. His mic and video was on for the whole thing.
Giving The Goods Away For Free
Not a mic but an elementary student left their camera for a moment and the mother walked by naked. Guessing she asked him to leave the room so she could change or something not realizing the camera was left on.
It's Tough To Get
A dude didnt realize his mic was unmuted and started rapping Rap God by Eminem but kept messing up and restarting during the fast part. After the 4th or 5th attempt he just sighed out of frustration and continued working while everyone was stifling a laugh or smiling. Teacher simply said "Don't worry,____, you'll get it next time" and his face went strawberry
Speaking What's On Everyone's Mind
bart simpson agree GIFGiphyIn a thermodynamics class, one of the students said "Holy sh-t, this is so much" after covering a large set of equations related to fugacity.
Everyone found it relatable.
...And They Were Never Seen, Nor Heard From, Again
I was in History class with 30 other students. And as the teacher was talking about WWII, one student who thought his mic was muted, shouted at the top of his lungs. "SHUT THE F-CK UP NOBODY GIVES A RAT`S A-- ABOUT HISTORY YOU FAT LEGGED PIG!" when he realised what he had done. He left and hasnt been in History class since.
Hardest Part Of Being A Teacher Is Knowing Some Parents Don't Care About Kids As Much As You
Mom who constantly yells at her 5 y/o disabled son and threatens him if he doesn't do his work she won't give him toys. Heartbreaking.
I can hear her every time.
Need To Watch Out For The Husbands
We were taking a test and at one point we hear a loud crash: my professor's husband made a bunch of pans fall from the kitchen shelf and her, forgetting she still had microphone started screaming and swearing at him saying things like "If you make an other sound I will make you sleep with the dog"
it was [awesome].
...Wow
Apparently, this one girl forgot to mute her computer. At that moment, her 'lovely' mother yelled at her about how she didn't wash the dishes. Then she proceeded to call her names and say such awful things like:
"You're gonna be a sl-t when you grow up!"
"I wish I didn't have you!"
"You're so useless"
"You can't do one f-cking thing right!"
"I wish you were bloody dead instead of your dad!"
In all honesty, I was shock. Like, very shock. My class had the same reaction, but none of us spoke a word. We were just stunned. The girl (Who had forgotten to turn off here mic) didn't even react at all. She didn't even look to the side of where he mum was speaking. She was the quiet kid who didn't show much emotion on her face (although, sometimes, we can tell that she's shy), and she kept her head down the entire time, still writing on her book.
Two minutes in, the mother goes "Don't you know how rude it is when you're not looking at the person speaking?! That's being a bi-ch!" Calmly, very calmly, the girl responds "Call me b-tch one more time" The mum, of course, calls her a b-tch once again. Then the girl replies "That's right. B-tches do as they're told"
No One Understood
Girl forgot to turn off her mic and started screaming at her parents in Chinese . I wish I understood what she said . After few minutes, she gasped loudly when she realised she didn't mute it .
On A Scale Of 1 To 10?
During my English class, this one girl forgot to mute herself. While my teacher was talking, she almost deafened all of us on the Zoom call answering her mother's questions.
Her mother (from a distance): "What class are you in?"
Her (yelling): English!
Her mother: Oh, the hot teacher?
Her: Yeah that guy
Now, even I'll admit my teacher is fairly attractive, but it does take it to another level when you get your own mother involved. Thankfully, our teacher is a chill guy and thought the whole thing was just kind of funny, and kind of just gave a general reminder to the class to keep mics muted. She didn't say anything for the rest of the class.
Maybe Save These Discussions For After Class?
Ironically my IT teacher forgot to turn of his mic and camera and proceeded to get in a very heated argument on the phone with his ex-girlfriend who he has a kid with. Did I mention that she's also a teacher at our school? Yeah most awkward 5 minutes of my life before he realised
Probably also the most awkward 5 minutes of his life
See? This Is Why You Need To Start An Internal Dialogue.
I teach for an online university that requires me to conduct a weekly live session. One morning I was lecturing and a student popped in late. I said, "Hello, (student name)! Thanks for joining us." She said, "Don't say my name, b-tch!", just before she realized her mic was on and turned it off. I just laughed.
Students Letting You Off The Hook
season 2 wendell borton GIFGiphyWell, it happened in one of the classes.
The teacher was going through a rough time and the class could feel it. We assured her that we had done our homework and that she could take rest for the time being. She agreed and told she would switch her mic off and sleep for a while, as we did whatever.
Her husband was right beside her and the mic wasn't turned off. She told, " I am so lucky to have these students" and started sobbing to her husband. We all heard this, but kept quiet to prevent her being embarrassed.
She slept well during that time and we sent her a thank you gift collectively.
Virtual learning really was a wild time for everyone involved.
Do you have any experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
- People Share Their Worst 'S***, I Forgot To Mute My Mic' Zoom Experiences - George Takei ›
- Teachers Describe The Funniest Thing They Witnessed But Had To Hold Their Laughter In - George Takei ›
- People Divulge The Craziest Thing They've Heard Someone Say After They Forgot To Hang Up The Phone - George Takei ›
- "People Break Down Their Craziest 'Oh, You're Not Joking?' Experiences" - George Takei ›
- Signs Teachers Use To Tell If A Student Lives In An Abusive Or Toxic Environment - George Takei ›
Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked:
"What is the weirdest animal fact you know?"
Like Perry
"Platypus glow blueish green under ultraviolet light."
"They also don’t have nipples, they just exude milk from glands under the skin and the baby’s lap it up."
~ WakingOwl1
"They have electrolocation in their bills that lets them detect their food under water."
~ DrPlatypus1
"And they lay eggs."
"The more I find out about them the more I understand why people first thought they were fake."
~ Reidroshdy
"After seeing all these platypus facts I am convinced these things are aliens that have been abandoned on Earth."
~ SeattleOne206
Kapow!
"Mantis Shrimp have 16 different sets of cones. Rods and cones are in your eyes. Cones see color, rods see light and motion."
"Dogs have 2 sets of cones—green and blue. Humans have 3 sets of cones—green, blue and red."
"Mantis Shrimp are seeing colors we can't comprehend and explains why they're very colorful."
"That’s not even the strangest thing about them."
"They can also punch as fast as a .22 bullet which cause a cavitation bubble which boils the water around them at temperatures of several thousand Kelvins."
~ RigzDigz
GiphyTerrible Twos
"Cats have the mental capacity of a 2-year-old which makes a lot of sense."
~ Alive_Ad823
Cats Dragging GIFGiphyLike Tinder
"When a female sloth wants a mate she'll hang onto a tree branch and just scream."
~ Remarkable_Sink2542
GiphyGood Thing They're So Small
"Dragonflies are the most successful predators on Earth."
"When lions choose prey they have like a 10% chance of catching it."
"African painted dogs—who hunt in packs—have the highest kill rate of any mammal, successfully catching 51% of their prey."
"When a dragonfly locks onto a target, it has a 99.9% success rate!"
~ PurpleInevitable2103
GiphyOn A Swivel
"Owls have really long necks, but it's hard to notice that because their feathers are so fluffy."
~ ergonaut
GiphyWhat About Cousin It?
"Sea otters are the most densely furred animal with 600,000 to 1,000,000 hair follicles per square inch."
"Dogs have about 15,000 per square inch, humans on average are between 800 to 1,290 hairs per square inch."
~ atom1129
Giphy
Sucker Punchers
"Octopus punch other fish for no reason—so, for fun."
~ Samanthalynn8915
"There's a direct correlation between species' intelligence and dickish behavior."
~ TheDesktopNinja
Looks Are Deceiving
"Polar bear fur isn't white—it's translucent (for most frequencies of light). And they have black skin underneath."
"So polar bear fur lets all the light through to their black skin to warm them—except for a few visible frequencies to keep them camouflaged as white."
~ seedanrun
GiphyWho's Going To Attack One‽‽
"Honey badgers can turn their a**holes inside out and use the smell to deter attackers."
"Not sure what exactly has the guts to attack a honey badger, but if they have the courage to do so, the badger sure as hell isn’t gonna make it easy."
~ nonexistantauthor
GiphyBig Momma
"The Blanket Octopus exhibits the highest degree of sexual dimorphism known."
"Females: About 6 feet across."
"Males: About one inch."
~ Fabulous-Pause4154
High Times
"Dolphins will intentionally use puffer fish to get high."
~ altkaldra
"They upset blowfish so they inflate, and therefore emit poison. It gets the dolphins high. Then they pass it around, literally."
~ smack4u
"Not just the dolphins. I recently saw a video about 10 animals that like to get high. Very interesting."
~ s137leo__
"Lemurs do that with giant centipedes/millipedes too."
~ chubbyknuckles420
Fabrizio Frigeni on Unsplash
Better Than Bike Helmets
"Woodpeckers' tongues wrap around their brains to cushion them from the vibrations of slamming their face into trees all day."
~ we_made_yewww
"Their tongues also have barbs to grab bugs out of the holes."
"Their brains have additional cushioning because, you know, they spend their days smashing their face as hard as possible into trees."
~ RhynoD
Detachable Organs
"Argonauts [paper nautili] are small octopuses that are too lazy to have intercourse."
"They detach their penises and toss them into the open sea to mate with female argonauts."
"The detachable 'd*ck' is a tiny tentacle, complete with suckers and sperm, that develops in a cavity under the eye of a male argonaut [paper nautilus]."
"When it's time to mate, the tentacle explodes out of the cavity, instantly killing the male argonaut. The tentacle then swims towards a female argonaut to insert itself."
"Sexy, huh?"
~ Schwarzes__Loch
What's your favorite weird animal fact?
Tough guys put on a facade that indicates to others that they always know what's going on.
But their confidence doesn't always match their intellect, which is probably why they cover their insecurities by walking around and trying to show everyone who's really the boss.
If that's the case, they should keep their mouths shut because not everything that comes out of their mouth needs to be heard.
Yet, it can be amusing to everyone else.
Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor PrototypeShadowBlitz asked:
"Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the 'alpha male' community?"
You might find these guys at a bar.
The Dude Must Be Hungry
"Had a run in once with a group of young lads about something in a bar and one of them said we are top of the food chain bro and you will be the prey."
– insertitherenow
"'Whatever, mall ninja" -proper response."
– TheEighthLord
If The Shoe Fits
"That they were an alpha male."
– I_Have_A_Name37654
"The use of 'Alpha Male,' unironically is every indication that you're dealing with a child's understanding of manhood."
– 88Dubs
Brat Pack
"Me and my bros are all alpha males."
– SonOfDadOfSam
"I was skiing one time and rode the lift with a guy that said, 'I don't feel no pain. I live with 5 roommates and none of us feel any pain.' Okay, bud. That's a really interesting coincidence."
– NicPizzaLatte
They sure thrive on making sexist comments.
Contagious Femininity
"A coworker said, 'I don't spend too much time with my girlfriend because I'll become too feminine.'"
– Lazy_Natural6154
"FELLAS IS IT GAY?!"
– aliebabadegrote
Sexist Categorization
"I have been called a beta for saying that my wife makes more money than I do. She works in a more lucrative field and is more educated than I am, so it makes perfect sense that she makes more than I do."
"So I came back, and this post has really blown up. There's just a few things I want to clarify."
"1- I have only ever been called a beta online."
"2- I work full-time in project management. I have a master's degree. I have a 6 figure salary."
"3- My wife has a PhD and works in finance. She also has a 6 figure salary, it's just a higher salary than my own."
"4- I'm sorry to anyone who might feel as though my original post misled them."
– ExaminationDouble240
It's Teamwork
"A real man would be proud of his wife for achieving success, and not fall for that sort of insecure bullsh*t."
"It's not a contest, that's the real joke here. Good on you for seeing the big picture."
– Mrbeardoesthethings
Do these roles about parenting sound familiar?
Childish Things Are Too Girly
"Real men don't take their kids trick or treating is one that I heard recently."
– constructionguy89
"Related. Guys who brag about not changing diapers, not playing 'girly' games, etc. Essentially guys who brag that their only contribution to fatherhood is money and masculine things like fishing or football. Even then some of them brag about not paying a lot of child support to prove they didn't let the system take advantage of them."
"I can't imagine a life so empty my only accomplishment worth bragging about was being a terrible parent."
– Green7000
This Woman's Work
"I was told that taking care of my kids is woman's work. Apparently it's concerning that I try to spend so much of my free time with them. Oddly enough the meatheads at my grappling club think it's sweet I occasionally have my daughters' hair clips on and nails painted."
– MrFunktasticc
People discussed rules in the bedroom.
Never Submissive
"That a man is turned off when their wife/girlfriend seduces them, because if she wants sex and shows it she is a sl*t, also making the man the submissive one…"
– kamalaophelia
Stifling Emotions
"Not the whole community, but was cuddling with a guy once and could tell he was trying not to get emotional over something that was bothering him. He said, quite literally, 'it's not alpha male behaviour.' I told him that I liked that he showed emotions sometimes, and he looked disgusted by the fact that I pointed it out."
– LambLifts
In high school, a classmate who was on the football team said I was a "sissy" for listening to classical music.
The other classmates laughed at me, which was hardly surprising since all of the guys on our unbeatable football team were considered stars on campus.
This kind of mockery was a typical day for me.
I can laugh at their idiotic comments now but back then, I don't know why I ever let them get under my skin.
We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.
Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.
Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.
As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.
Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"
The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...
"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."
"We had to have an assembly about it."
"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky
Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."
"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."
"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."
"It wasn't."
"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."
"I quit a few weeks later."
"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin
The Bread Of Heaven
"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."
"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate
catholic the exorcist GIFGiphyRetracing Steps...
"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."
"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."
"Always kept about a half block behind."
"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."
"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep
Hygeine Be Damned...
"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia
exercise push up GIFGiphyBad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...
"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."
"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."
"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."
"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."
"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."
"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."
"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."
"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."
"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop
Things Best Left To Professionals...
"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."
"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."
"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist
uruguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphyAt Least A Lesson Was Learned...
"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."
"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."
"He ran off and no one saw."
"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile
All Creatures Deserve Love
"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."
'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."
"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn
That's What Friends Are For...
"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."
"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."
"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100
Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphyNot The Right Kind Of Manure...
"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."
"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."
"I did this because I was bored."
"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse
A Little Fantasy Now And Then...
"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."
"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."
"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."
"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."
"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."
'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."
"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."
"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343
dating app GIFGiphyIf anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.
Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.
Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.