Teaching is a difficult enough profession. For example, have you ever tried to get a group of 10-year olds to care about the Mesopotamian Empire is even more challenging, but we live in a new world now. Kids are being taught at home, meaning every educator is now an online teacher whether or not they've been trained for it. With that learning curve comes a lot of, mostly hialrious, mistakes, like the ones being shared below.
Reddit user, u/AsteroidPizza39, wanted to hear about:
...Yikes
season 3 embarassed GIF
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I had a student's boyfriend (both college) walk up behind her on Zoom; reach into her shirt; pull out her breasts; and start doing a little boob dance. She was just laughing and playfully slapping his hands away.
This was probably 30 seconds after I had just gone through my whole speech of making sure there was nothing in your browser history, Google search history, or names of folders that could be embarrassing or offensive.
A Lesson Well Learned
I had to defend my thesis over Zoom and many professors came into the call to watch. My thesis was about immune response in fish to parasites. One professor joined late and forgot to mute her mic and we got treated to this little gem:
"Shhhh. Mommy is learning about fish parasites, which is what you'll get if you don't stop peeing in the koi pond."
So Long As It Was Vanilla?
This happened like a few weeks ago, in our college class [math] a guy started a porn video and streamed the entire thing to the class. It was vanilla so it wasn't very different; but the class was cancelled for the day and there were calls placed between the students parent and the school. He ended up getting suspended for a week.
You Probably Just Cancel Classes After This
I was a dungeon master and I downloaded a voice modificator to play over discord. I left it on during a presentation of over 25 minutes without realizing that the professor and the whole class was hearing me speak like a chipmunk.
Need To Watch Out For The Wives
I was on a 40ish + call, thought my camera was off and was muted. Was having a bad day so my wife came up behind me and said "I know its a rough day, want to touch my boobs?" Looked back at my screen and heard everyone laughing, needless to say it was a bit embarrassing.
Hovering A Little Too Close
A student's mother had the habit of standing just off camera and very closely observing her kid. I know this because one time the student "forgot" to disable the mic. Everyone heard how the mother was coaching the student how to act. Don't look my way, smile, pay attention. It was next-level helicoptering, right on the edge of abuse in my opinion.
Our school has a good counselor and the student is getting help. All the teachers have been advised to limit contact with the mother and not make waves, lest she withdraw the student or redouble her controlling behavior. I worry about it.
All Hispanic Children Know Of The "Chancla"
I had a student give a smart a-- response to a question I asked and before I could respond his mom starts chewing into him and hitting him with a chancla. His mic and video was on for the whole thing.
Giving The Goods Away For Free
Not a mic but an elementary student left their camera for a moment and the mother walked by naked. Guessing she asked him to leave the room so she could change or something not realizing the camera was left on.
It's Tough To Get
A dude didnt realize his mic was unmuted and started rapping Rap God by Eminem but kept messing up and restarting during the fast part. After the 4th or 5th attempt he just sighed out of frustration and continued working while everyone was stifling a laugh or smiling. Teacher simply said "Don't worry,____, you'll get it next time" and his face went strawberry
Speaking What's On Everyone's Mind
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In a thermodynamics class, one of the students said "Holy sh-t, this is so much" after covering a large set of equations related to fugacity.
Everyone found it relatable.
...And They Were Never Seen, Nor Heard From, Again
I was in History class with 30 other students. And as the teacher was talking about WWII, one student who thought his mic was muted, shouted at the top of his lungs. "SHUT THE F-CK UP NOBODY GIVES A RAT`S A-- ABOUT HISTORY YOU FAT LEGGED PIG!" when he realised what he had done. He left and hasnt been in History class since.
Hardest Part Of Being A Teacher Is Knowing Some Parents Don't Care About Kids As Much As You
Mom who constantly yells at her 5 y/o disabled son and threatens him if he doesn't do his work she won't give him toys. Heartbreaking.
I can hear her every time.
Need To Watch Out For The Husbands
We were taking a test and at one point we hear a loud crash: my professor's husband made a bunch of pans fall from the kitchen shelf and her, forgetting she still had microphone started screaming and swearing at him saying things like "If you make an other sound I will make you sleep with the dog"
it was [awesome].
...Wow
Apparently, this one girl forgot to mute her computer. At that moment, her 'lovely' mother yelled at her about how she didn't wash the dishes. Then she proceeded to call her names and say such awful things like:
"You're gonna be a sl-t when you grow up!"
"I wish I didn't have you!"
"You're so useless"
"You can't do one f-cking thing right!"
"I wish you were bloody dead instead of your dad!"
In all honesty, I was shock. Like, very shock. My class had the same reaction, but none of us spoke a word. We were just stunned. The girl (Who had forgotten to turn off here mic) didn't even react at all. She didn't even look to the side of where he mum was speaking. She was the quiet kid who didn't show much emotion on her face (although, sometimes, we can tell that she's shy), and she kept her head down the entire time, still writing on her book.
Two minutes in, the mother goes "Don't you know how rude it is when you're not looking at the person speaking?! That's being a bi-ch!" Calmly, very calmly, the girl responds "Call me b-tch one more time" The mum, of course, calls her a b-tch once again. Then the girl replies "That's right. B-tches do as they're told"
No One Understood
Girl forgot to turn off her mic and started screaming at her parents in Chinese . I wish I understood what she said . After few minutes, she gasped loudly when she realised she didn't mute it .
On A Scale Of 1 To 10?
During my English class, this one girl forgot to mute herself. While my teacher was talking, she almost deafened all of us on the Zoom call answering her mother's questions.
Her mother (from a distance): "What class are you in?"
Her (yelling): English!
Her mother: Oh, the hot teacher?
Her: Yeah that guy
Now, even I'll admit my teacher is fairly attractive, but it does take it to another level when you get your own mother involved. Thankfully, our teacher is a chill guy and thought the whole thing was just kind of funny, and kind of just gave a general reminder to the class to keep mics muted. She didn't say anything for the rest of the class.
Maybe Save These Discussions For After Class?
Ironically my IT teacher forgot to turn of his mic and camera and proceeded to get in a very heated argument on the phone with his ex-girlfriend who he has a kid with. Did I mention that she's also a teacher at our school? Yeah most awkward 5 minutes of my life before he realised
Probably also the most awkward 5 minutes of his life
See? This Is Why You Need To Start An Internal Dialogue.
I teach for an online university that requires me to conduct a weekly live session. One morning I was lecturing and a student popped in late. I said, "Hello, (student name)! Thanks for joining us." She said, "Don't say my name, b-tch!", just before she realized her mic was on and turned it off. I just laughed.
Students Letting You Off The Hook
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Well, it happened in one of the classes.
The teacher was going through a rough time and the class could feel it. We assured her that we had done our homework and that she could take rest for the time being. She agreed and told she would switch her mic off and sleep for a while, as we did whatever.
Her husband was right beside her and the mic wasn't turned off. She told, " I am so lucky to have these students" and started sobbing to her husband. We all heard this, but kept quiet to prevent her being embarrassed.
She slept well during that time and we sent her a thank you gift collectively.
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***WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!***
I can't think of anything hilarious at the moment. Make us LOL.
Lady
Shocked Oh No GIF by Yêu LuGiphy"I have this friend, love him to bits, but his wife has a tendency of just constantly showing everyone pictures of their son at every social event. At the start it was understandable, but now I'm just like 'Lady, it's been two years; they're not going to find him.'"
UnoriginalUse
at 9am...
"Not the most morbid but I love Anthony Jeselnik’s story about his neighbor who has Alzheimer’s. 'One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. And every single morning at 9am he knocks on my door and asks me if I have seen his wife.'"
"'Which means that every single morning at 9am I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving. I have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it… just to see the smile on his face.”
dreagan021
Comedy?
"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."
GW2RNGR
"Why can't orphans play tennis? They get confused when they hear love."
JayDub506
People who make comedy are evil. LOL.
The Darkness
That 70S Show Reaction GIF by LaffGiphy"Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it."
storm_the_castle
God Laughs?
"A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven, where she meets God. To break the tension she tells God a joke about the Holocaust, but God doesn’t laugh. The lady shrugs and says 'I guess you had to be there.'"
“'I guess you had to be there' is a common expression used when someone doesn’t laugh at a joke. It means that the comedy may not translate without the context of the situation."
"In this case the Holocaust survivor is saying it, meaning that during the Holocaust God was nowhere to be found. It’s not really a joke about the Holocaust, but the absurdity of belief in a benevolent God. Hilarious right?"
semimillennial
Oh Baby
"How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? More than 3 cause my garage is still dark."
sirnibs3
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because I don't know what it says about us as people if we laugh. Oye.
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Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Liam_Tang asked:
"People who've divorced, aside from adultery, what were the irreconcilable differences that ended the marriage?"
You think you know a person when you walk down the aisle.
These Redditors were in for a rude awakening.
Pet Neglect
"My wife divorced her ex for many reasons, but the final straw was when she went out of town for a few days, and when she got back he had not fed or given water to the dog. The dog lived a long and happy life after that."
– StrangeCrimes
Obsessed With A Crush
"Not me, but I had an old coworker that divorced his wife for spending their entire savings on candy crush and games of the same type."
– Hexis40
Compatibility Musts
"ITT: Intimacy (sex/romance), beliefs (religion/spirituality/politics), kids, and I haven’t seen it yet but it’s coming: finances."
"The big four. You REALLY need to discuss these things in detail BEFORE getting married."
– rabbiskittles
Physical violence is a legit reason for people to peace out of a relationship.
The Flattening
"She threatened to hit me with a hammer."
– michaelrohansmith
Hitting The Bottle
"She became an abusive alcoholic. It was sad but I had to get out."
– diegojones4
Emotional pain is too damaging to recover from.
Truth Hurts
"She told me as we stood in front of the judge ending our 7 year marriage, 'I never loved you, I just wanted kids.'"
– Pinch_Dogs
Can't Fix Angry
"She was beautiful/smart but an angry angry person. I thought I could be sweet to her and 'fix' that. Heh. She kicked the crap out of me emotionally. Wife II has been a walk in the roses for 32 years now :)"
– lowlandr
A change of heart is worthless if comes too late.
"We Could've Had A Nice Marriage
"He could not understand that my wants and needs were as important as his wants and needs. We tried to make it work for 7 years. During that time, for things that were really important to me, I tried explaining logically, asking nicely, begging, crying, yelling, passive aggressiveness... cycled back through all of these options multiple times."
"(If I knew something was important to him, I would do that. For example, he was really into sports, so I went to all his events, even though that is not at all my thing.) When I finally threw up my hands and told him it was time to get a divorce, he suddenly panicked and said 'What can I do? Do you want me to do half the chores? I'll do it! Do you want me to get a job? I'll do it! Do you want me to buy you presents for your birthday? I'll do it!'"
"So, in other words, he could have been doing that all along, but just couldn't be bothered. That made me so angry. We could have had a nice marriage that we both enjoyed, but no, by the time he saw the light, that ship had sailed."
"We are both happily remarried now (to different people) and I joke that his new wife owes me a thank you note. It was his experience with me that taught him to listen to her and take her needs seriously."
– Bluebird-True
"What Can I Do?"
"My ex was exactly like this. I didn't marry him but when I told him let's break up, he went all like, what can I do? Let's get engaged, let's look at houses, etc. Basically all the pre-marriage topics that we should be discussing about after being together for 7 years."
"I got so angry and straight up told him it's too late... I don't need you anymore."
– gudetarako
As much as a couple wants to stay together, unforeseen circumstances can eventually tear people apart.
Very few people can maintain healthy long-distance relationships.
When a new job opportunity takes a significant other away, would you begrudge them for wanting a better position to earn more money? Or is it better for them to reluctantly turn down the opportunity so they could stay with you? Do either scenarios breed resentment?
These were questions I've often asked myself with past relationships, and my answers varied depending on the person I was with.
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