Teaching is a difficult enough profession. For example, have you ever tried to get a group of 10-year olds to care about the Mesopotamian Empire is even more challenging, but we live in a new world now. Kids are being taught at home, meaning every educator is now an online teacher whether or not they've been trained for it. With that learning curve comes a lot of, mostly hialrious, mistakes, like the ones being shared below.
Reddit user, u/AsteroidPizza39, wanted to hear about:
...Yikes
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I had a student's boyfriend (both college) walk up behind her on Zoom; reach into her shirt; pull out her breasts; and start doing a little boob dance. She was just laughing and playfully slapping his hands away.
This was probably 30 seconds after I had just gone through my whole speech of making sure there was nothing in your browser history, Google search history, or names of folders that could be embarrassing or offensive.
A Lesson Well Learned
I had to defend my thesis over Zoom and many professors came into the call to watch. My thesis was about immune response in fish to parasites. One professor joined late and forgot to mute her mic and we got treated to this little gem:
"Shhhh. Mommy is learning about fish parasites, which is what you'll get if you don't stop peeing in the koi pond."
So Long As It Was Vanilla?
This happened like a few weeks ago, in our college class [math] a guy started a porn video and streamed the entire thing to the class. It was vanilla so it wasn't very different; but the class was cancelled for the day and there were calls placed between the students parent and the school. He ended up getting suspended for a week.
You Probably Just Cancel Classes After This
I was a dungeon master and I downloaded a voice modificator to play over discord. I left it on during a presentation of over 25 minutes without realizing that the professor and the whole class was hearing me speak like a chipmunk.
Need To Watch Out For The Wives
I was on a 40ish + call, thought my camera was off and was muted. Was having a bad day so my wife came up behind me and said "I know its a rough day, want to touch my boobs?" Looked back at my screen and heard everyone laughing, needless to say it was a bit embarrassing.
Hovering A Little Too Close
A student's mother had the habit of standing just off camera and very closely observing her kid. I know this because one time the student "forgot" to disable the mic. Everyone heard how the mother was coaching the student how to act. Don't look my way, smile, pay attention. It was next-level helicoptering, right on the edge of abuse in my opinion.
Our school has a good counselor and the student is getting help. All the teachers have been advised to limit contact with the mother and not make waves, lest she withdraw the student or redouble her controlling behavior. I worry about it.
All Hispanic Children Know Of The "Chancla"
I had a student give a smart a-- response to a question I asked and before I could respond his mom starts chewing into him and hitting him with a chancla. His mic and video was on for the whole thing.
Giving The Goods Away For Free
Not a mic but an elementary student left their camera for a moment and the mother walked by naked. Guessing she asked him to leave the room so she could change or something not realizing the camera was left on.
It's Tough To Get
A dude didnt realize his mic was unmuted and started rapping Rap God by Eminem but kept messing up and restarting during the fast part. After the 4th or 5th attempt he just sighed out of frustration and continued working while everyone was stifling a laugh or smiling. Teacher simply said "Don't worry,____, you'll get it next time" and his face went strawberry
Speaking What's On Everyone's Mind
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In a thermodynamics class, one of the students said "Holy sh-t, this is so much" after covering a large set of equations related to fugacity.
Everyone found it relatable.
...And They Were Never Seen, Nor Heard From, Again
I was in History class with 30 other students. And as the teacher was talking about WWII, one student who thought his mic was muted, shouted at the top of his lungs. "SHUT THE F-CK UP NOBODY GIVES A RAT`S A-- ABOUT HISTORY YOU FAT LEGGED PIG!" when he realised what he had done. He left and hasnt been in History class since.
Hardest Part Of Being A Teacher Is Knowing Some Parents Don't Care About Kids As Much As You
Mom who constantly yells at her 5 y/o disabled son and threatens him if he doesn't do his work she won't give him toys. Heartbreaking.
I can hear her every time.
Need To Watch Out For The Husbands
We were taking a test and at one point we hear a loud crash: my professor's husband made a bunch of pans fall from the kitchen shelf and her, forgetting she still had microphone started screaming and swearing at him saying things like "If you make an other sound I will make you sleep with the dog"
it was [awesome].
...Wow
Apparently, this one girl forgot to mute her computer. At that moment, her 'lovely' mother yelled at her about how she didn't wash the dishes. Then she proceeded to call her names and say such awful things like:
"You're gonna be a sl-t when you grow up!"
"I wish I didn't have you!"
"You're so useless"
"You can't do one f-cking thing right!"
"I wish you were bloody dead instead of your dad!"
In all honesty, I was shock. Like, very shock. My class had the same reaction, but none of us spoke a word. We were just stunned. The girl (Who had forgotten to turn off here mic) didn't even react at all. She didn't even look to the side of where he mum was speaking. She was the quiet kid who didn't show much emotion on her face (although, sometimes, we can tell that she's shy), and she kept her head down the entire time, still writing on her book.
Two minutes in, the mother goes "Don't you know how rude it is when you're not looking at the person speaking?! That's being a bi-ch!" Calmly, very calmly, the girl responds "Call me b-tch one more time" The mum, of course, calls her a b-tch once again. Then the girl replies "That's right. B-tches do as they're told"
No One Understood
Girl forgot to turn off her mic and started screaming at her parents in Chinese . I wish I understood what she said . After few minutes, she gasped loudly when she realised she didn't mute it .
On A Scale Of 1 To 10?
During my English class, this one girl forgot to mute herself. While my teacher was talking, she almost deafened all of us on the Zoom call answering her mother's questions.
Her mother (from a distance): "What class are you in?"
Her (yelling): English!
Her mother: Oh, the hot teacher?
Her: Yeah that guy
Now, even I'll admit my teacher is fairly attractive, but it does take it to another level when you get your own mother involved. Thankfully, our teacher is a chill guy and thought the whole thing was just kind of funny, and kind of just gave a general reminder to the class to keep mics muted. She didn't say anything for the rest of the class.
Maybe Save These Discussions For After Class?
Ironically my IT teacher forgot to turn of his mic and camera and proceeded to get in a very heated argument on the phone with his ex-girlfriend who he has a kid with. Did I mention that she's also a teacher at our school? Yeah most awkward 5 minutes of my life before he realised
Probably also the most awkward 5 minutes of his life
See? This Is Why You Need To Start An Internal Dialogue.
I teach for an online university that requires me to conduct a weekly live session. One morning I was lecturing and a student popped in late. I said, "Hello, (student name)! Thanks for joining us." She said, "Don't say my name, b-tch!", just before she realized her mic was on and turned it off. I just laughed.
Students Letting You Off The Hook
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Well, it happened in one of the classes.
The teacher was going through a rough time and the class could feel it. We assured her that we had done our homework and that she could take rest for the time being. She agreed and told she would switch her mic off and sleep for a while, as we did whatever.
Her husband was right beside her and the mic wasn't turned off. She told, " I am so lucky to have these students" and started sobbing to her husband. We all heard this, but kept quiet to prevent her being embarrassed.
She slept well during that time and we sent her a thank you gift collectively.
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In fact, some mistakes are so astronomical that they're remembered for decades afterwards, leaving the one who made the mistake a legacy of being a dumba**. Here are a few of them!!!
U/ronjans24 asked: What was the biggest mistake in human history?
Some may argue that the existence of the Universe was a mistake. I disagree. It was clearly Zayn leaving One Direction. But these next few were pretty bad too.
If you do the math, this is also the reason why Hentai exists.
I'll say the wrong turn Franz Ferdinand's driver made that went right in front of Gavrilo Princip.
EDIT: yes I'm aware war may still have broken out even if Franz Ferdinand wasn't assassinated
Imagine you're Gavrilo Princip. The assassination plot you and your friends had been cooking up for about the last year or so has been a complete and total disaster, just a monumental f*ck-up of the highest degree. You're staked out at this deli thinking maybe, just maybe the car will pass by, and by some stroke of sheer luck, it does.
If you're Princip, this is nothing short of serendipity.
Petition to return to the ocean.
Ocean Surf GIFGiphy"Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans."
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams
This was, in fact, a monumental mistake.
Sears not beating Amazon to the punch.
Blockbuster not buying Netflix.
You thought THOSE were bad? Well gear up for their next few, because they are 100% accurate. Except the one about Cats, that movie slaps.
I don’t know sports, but sure.
Seahawks not running it.
I used to wear a Seahawks jersey whenever I took a test because I knew I would pass when I shouldn't.
CATS is great, y'all are just boring.
GiphyThe Emoji Movie.
That live action movie about Cats is also up there.
Very fair point.
Social Media.
Humans are not wired to have that many social interactions and maintain that many relationships. Plus the echochambers it allows people to create for themselves, no matter how conspiratorial or vile their beliefs, means that stupid/evil people are no longer shunned into changing their mind.
Not sure it was worth being able to see what a celebrity had for lunch or what new "dance" your younger cousin and her tween friends are doing.
But in all seriousness, some horrible things may now have happened if the right thing was halted at the right time.
Washington called it.
George Washington Disney GIF by Hamilton: An American MusicalGiphyVoting for people based on what side of the political spectrum they're on. George Washington himself advised against political parties because he thought they would cause too much division in this country. Unfortunately for everyone, he was right.
Big oops on that one.
Barack Obama mocking Donald Trump at the Correspondents Dinner might have led directly to his 2016 run....
"Now, I know that he's taken some flak lately, but no one is happier, no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than The Donald," Obama said. "And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter — like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?"
Then he turned serious: "But all kidding aside, obviously, we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience. For example — no, seriously, just recently, in an episode of 'Celebrity Apprentice' — at the steakhouse, the men's cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks. And there was a lot of blame to go around. But you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. And so ultimately, you didn't blame Lil Jon or Meatloaf. You fired Gary Busey. And these are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night. Well handled, sir. Well handled."
This is the best Star Wars and no one can change my mind.
I'll take 'Star Wars Christmas Special' for $100.
That atrocious pile of manure gave us Boba Fett, so without the Christmas Special there won't be The Mandalorian.
Wow, in this article, I openly admitted my love for Cats AND The Star Wars Holiday Special. So maybe my existence was the biggest mistake of all.
ANYWAY, I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you all feel a little bit better about yourself. Because when push comes to shove, at least you didn't accidentally start World War I