If you haven't spent a lot of time around kids, it can be easy to forget they're entire tiny people - often with big personalities. Combine that with the fact that they generally have almost no filter and let's be honest, some of them are downright hilarious.
Reddit user Happyclapclapclap asked:
... and that's how you all ended up with an article that talks about how Hitler is a dolphin, Patrick Warburton teaches about fungi, and "nom-fiction."
Oh, and a perfectly timed death threat. Timing is everything, people.
This is high school biology. A guy who was known for being a pretty good voice actor was reading a page on the properties of fungi in multiple impressions, making everyone laugh. He often got picked to read after that, and never disappointed. We've had:
Yogi bear, Irish guy, Disney princess, Shaggy, Scottish guy, Patrick Warburton, and many more.
Before he graduated, his voice was also recorded for phone messages informing of school events, schools voicemail, and MC for many school events.
Birds and BeesGiphy
While teaching sexual reproduction to year 8, one student loudly announced "I don't get why they call it the birds and the bees. Trains and tunnels makes way more sense" I remember it ever single time I teach that unit, and it still makes me giggle.
On my first class, I asked my students to introduce themselves saying their names, their hometown and something they liked. Most of them were guys and they liked music, sports, videogames and such. After four guys introduced themselves, the fifth guy said "Hi, I'm Peter, I'm from X place and unlike the other guys, I like girls"
and we all laughed way too loud.
A kid asked if he could have a drink coz he had a cough, then proceeded to pull out a 6 pint bottle of apple juice.
- from his bag
A Dolphin Dictator
Did a presentation about conspiracy theories. It was assessed and had to be recorded. He started off so normal, until he got to the Da Vinci code, and started talking about the possibilities of Jesus and Mary having sex.
I lost it, but held it together, for the recording.
Then asked him to elaborate on other theories he had heard, he calmly said 'Well, there was this one that said that Hitler was a dolphin' and I had to escort myself out.
While walking around the classroom, I tripped on a boy's backpack and almost faceplanted on the floor. A girl asked me if I were okay, to which I replied "no, X almost killed me."
He turned to me and, without missing a beat, replied "I won't fail next time!"
We still laugh about it about every two weeks. Definitely my favourite in that group.
Not necessarily the class clown, but I once had one of my first graders look me square in the eye and ask me, "why don't they call cookbooks 'nom-fiction'?" It's stuck with me for about 5 years now!
I'm a teacher's assistant. There was this goofy boy (who I'll call A) in my math class that would announce students as they walked into class. He wasn't mean or anything. He'd just either just say your name like the Price is Right announcer or something silly about you like "Ladies & Gentleman, you may know him as Chris but we all call him That Guy who referred to grey as 'dark white!'"
Usually nothing bad, so we let him do it.
But one time during class this girl walks in and she was pretty small. She kinda looked like she might be a little person but insisted that she wasn't. Anyway, A starts hushing the class and says "Guys, guys we are in the presence of a celebrity." And we all start looking around and then he says "Welcome, everyone, the Midget from Hell Date!!"
I laughed so hard I got sent to the nurses office to use my inhaler.
No Phones In Class
I was teaching in China (a private school where parents or the child carers would attend also) and this one child would not listen to me or anybody else - he was totally free and involved in his own wild world. His father accompanied him but would go into the very back of the room to talk on his cell phone.
I had warned the parent to put down or shut off the phone and pay attention to his son. He didn't listen either. I eventually took the phone from the father. His son yelled (in English!) to his father, "you in trouuuuble" and he laughed and laughed - such a contagious giggle! I guess the kid was paying attention.
A For Effort
A kindergartner called me over and was very proud of what they just colored. The girl sitting next to him looked at it, then looked at him and said "well at least you're trying your best."