But in the land of not make-believe–where real-life people are litigious without hesitation–what would happen if these evildoers had a proper day in court?
That is something Redditor Lukegamer2 explored by asking strangers online:
"Lawyers of Reddit, what Disney or Pixar villain would you have the easiest time defending?"
Were these villains guilty of just being unpopular?
Ratatouille's Hot-Tempered Sous Chef
"Chef Skinner."
"I'd almost feel guilty charging money defending this case."
– ksozay
Secondary Pirates Antagonist
"I think Cutler Beckett never technically broke the law since he had the governor writing loopholes for him when hunting down the pirates in Pirates 2 and 3 so Cutler Beckett. I wouldn't even need to do anything."
– User Deleted
Brat Story
"Sid. No one is going to charge a kid destroying toys with a crime."
– theassassintherapist
"Sid was genuinely horrified to learn that toys were alive. The boy legitimately did nothing wrong."
– Slant_Juicy
Placement On The Food Chain
"Kaa, Finding Nemo's barracuda, the Lion King's Hyenas, and similar 'villains.' They're just trying to eat. Sorry nature put the protagonist on the menu."
– ccReptilelord
These characters were definitely wicked, but would the judge grant leniency for their indiscretions?
The Master Of Deceit
"Jafar. Separate from the law of Agrabah being super interesting to learn about, his actions tend to be more deceitful than outright illegal, except where he became sultan, and therefore may have had immunity. Magic seems to be not super common, so there may not be any laws regarding coercion by magic. Separate from assaulting Aladdin, who he never actually managed to hit outside the Cave of Wonders, I’m not sure there are a lot of outright laws he broke."
– begoniann
The Super Jealous Uncle
"Scar, the only evidence was a coerced confession while a deadly weapon was held to his throat."
– Anonymous4mysake
The Case For Gaston
"In Beauty and the Beast, Gaston ate four dozen eggs daily when he was a child. That’s fourty-eight eggs a day. As an adult he adds another dozen, tallying up to sixty eggs a day. This is nothing short of genocide."
"My theory for why Gaston is beloved by the townsfolk is that some time prior to the start of the movie, France was overrun with poultry. Helpless at the claws of the chickens, the people of France were preparing to abandon their country, when a lone child stepped forward. 'I’ll eat the eggs,' a young Gaston bellowed, 'And I will save our homeland.' And so it was, Gaston ate and ate until he was roughly the size of a barge. How the cholesterol didn’t kill him can only be attributed to his inhuman fortitude. This is where the story turns tragic."
"What Gaston hadn’t accounted for was developing an addiction to the eggs. As he aged, he ate more and more, and with the chicken-crisis over, his addiction began costing him financially. There’s a scene during Gaston’s song where he motions to a wall full of his hunting trophies. But why are they there? Does he own the bar? No, he sold them for egg money. The fact he never brings up his egg addiction or his prior heroism can be attributed to another one of Gaston’s defining character traits: his struggle to be emotionally open, and his modesty. It’s not easy being the man who saved France."
"I think the saddest scene is when Belle shows Gaston the book, and he holds it upside down. See, Gaston seems brutish, but remember - his entire childhood was spent eating eggs. He didn’t have time for an education; he sacrificed his upbringing for his countrymen. He can’t even hold a book correctly. What Gaston wants to say, what he’s struggling to articulate, is 'Belle, I’m dying. A life long diet of a quite frankly insane number of eggs has left my body bloated with tumors. Before I shove off this mortal coil, I want children, who might experience a world without the oppression I have suffered.' Belle cruelly mocks him, which goes to make you wonder who the real beast is."
"When Gaston sees the Beast in the mirror, two thoughts run through his head. First, he sees his countrymen in danger once more, and despite being riddled with egg-tumors, wants to lead the masses to one last charge of glory since fighting for France is all he knows. Second, he realizes Beast’s head is about a month’s worth of egg-money. So he sieges the castle, and in one of Disney’s most tragic moments, plummets to his death."
"Another reason Gaston wants to marry Belle is because, as mentioned above, all he knows how to do is to fight for France and its people. Gaston saw Maurice as a genuine danger, and he’s not wrong; consider the hellish contraption Maurice created. One look at that war machine and Gaston hatched a plan; marry Belle, and get close enough to Maurice to talk him down. Mind you, he did love Belle, and wanted to be the father of her children, but the danger presented by Maurice forced his plan into action immediately. When that fell through, he had no choice but to throw Maurice in the asylum (something marrying Belle would have fixed, since he would once again be close enough to Maurice to influence him). All in all, the failure was one of articulation."
"Gaston is the protagonist of Beauty and the Beast."
– The_Gutgrinder
It's all about the accomplices here.
Reduced Sentence For Mr. Snoops
"Mr Snoops, from The Rescuers. Definitely guilty of being an accomplice to the kidnapping of a child, but I could get a reduced sentence based on the fact he wanted to end the scheme earlier and cut their losses on other precious gems that Penny had recovered. He also looked out for Penny's safety and prevented her from dying before Medusa came to the scene to force her to recover the Devil's Eye on pain of death."
– res30stupid
Court Comedy
"Yzma if only because that means Kronk would have to testify under oath. And you know he would be a blast to watch in court."
– inksmudgedhands
Time For The Hunt
"What about Clayton from Tarzan? I think at the time it wasn't illegal to catch wild animals in foreign (colonialized) countries. Morally reprehensive, but not illegal."
– raxeira-etterath
Oh, Deer
"Similarly, the hunter from Bambi. Assuming it was deer season, he did nothing illegal."
– Rhania506
Can't Touch Him
"Hades Dudes a god what's a.judge gonna a do."
– Sea_Mechanic5745
It Does Beg The Question
"Do human laws punish non-humans?"
– Pharah_is_my_waIfu
The Answer Is...
"Yes."
"There's actually a couple famous stories of animals - mostly elephants - being put on trial for murdering their abusive handlers. There's also how old laws considered the act of bestiality, with the animal being considered a 'Guilty Party' and executed alongside the human who committed the act. I also think there's a case where a human was exonerated for the crime because he was raped by a bear (he didn't survive, BTW)."
"Also, this has come up in at least one episode of Murder, She Wrote where a dog was going to be put down and disinherited for killing his master after being made the heir to his will, when it appeared the dog had intentionally closed the remote-controlled gates to the estate and killed his owner."– res30stupid
We don't know how lawyers would actually approach the case if they represented these characters.
But one thing is certain. It would make for a great spin-off of Law & Order–Fairytale Crimes.
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The villain is always just misunderstood. My ultimate has always been Dracula. Love you...
Good Tom
Hungry Tom And Jerry GIF by HBO MaxGiphy"Tom from Tom and Jerry. I’ve always rooted for him."
deaf_phrog
It's the Chemistry
"Yzma. For one, she’s just so crazy that it’s hard to be afraid of her and you end up just liking her. She and Kronk have such great chemistry too."
everythinglatte
"I love Eartha Kitt and she absolutely killed it in this role. Hard to see a villain as a villain when I'm grinning ear to ear every time she's on screen!"
CheriesGhost
"I read this thread last night and forgot how much I loved this movie when it first came out. Today was a shi**y day and I get to watch it with my kid. Thanks for the reminder."
rhondaanaconda
LOLOL
"GLaDOS. She is just so crazy and hilarious you forget she enjoys gassing innocents."
HenryFrenchFries
“I have another surprise for you, and not a fake surprise like before. A real surprise, with tragic consequences. And REAL confetti this time! The good stuff! Our last bag!”
monkey_scandal
LEGO FOREVER
"Lego Joker."
irobot_67
"Bruh lego Joker is in the top two best portrayals of the joker imo. I'm a sucker for the goofier silver age villains (why be edgy when you're up against what is often the biggest edgelord in the city?) and he portrays those campy origins of the dc characters so well. I'm obsessed with the dynamic he has with the lego version of Batman."
animaginaryraven
So Cold
sad adventure time GIFGiphy"The Ice King. It's just a tragic backstory. He's just lonely and desperate for friends."
evil_wazard
I'm getting old. I have to look up a few of these. What I see I like though.
J & J
PokémonGiphy"Jessie and James. Pokemon would not be the same without them."
MyAccounts0
Villain/Hero
"Magneto. Was he wrong, in knowing that humans hate and would inevitably attack mutants? According to Days of Future Past, no. Humans have proven that you don't have to be non-human for people to turn on you and kill you."
shygirl1995_
"A great villain has a realistic motivation to believe they are morally justified, and that's why I love like magneto. His actions are out of revenge and self preservation. He's not evil for the sake of profit or power, he could be portrayed as a hero in the right story."
drsideburns
The best...
"Wiley Coyote. I'm rooting for him to blow the Road Runner up."
ItsMyView
"But you know what? He never stays down. He always gets back up and tries something new. Granted, it’s almost always something sold by Acme, but he’s a coyote - it’s a miracle he can even read the catalogue. That’s why if I ever get a tat it’ll be of Wile E Coyote."
iamsoupcansam
Don't choose hate!
"Who can hate Tai Lung? He's such a well developed character and I feel like he's more of a tragic character than a villain. There's so many questions left unanswered. What if Oogway gave him the scroll? Would he still lay waste to the valley? Because he didn't understand the scroll's lesson when he got it from Po?
"What if Shifu did defend Tai Lung? Would Tai Lung feel ashamed that he wasn't good enough for his master? Would it cause him to give up Kung Fu? What if Shifu did teach him Humilty and not fill his head with the idea he was MET to be the dragon warrior?"
"Like UGH, He needs to come back and be redeemed if there's ever a fourth KFP movie. He had his opportunity when he fought against Shifu. But he knew it was too late for an apology."
ShadowJDarkus
You're a mean one...
The Grinch Smiling GIF by The Good FilmsGiphy"The Grinch."
6bfmv2
"He wouldn't be so grumpy if there wasn't a dude singing songs, every 5 minutes, about what a piece of sh*t he is."
steakandcheese1
Whoa!!
"The Monarch from Venture Bros (cartoon network). Dude is hilarious."
tossaway69420lol
"'What kind of moron doesn't even lock the doors to his private compound? I'm not even going to flush! LET THEM SEE THE WRATH OF THE MONARCH!!!'"
Mace_Thunderspear
"Whoa, whoa! He's not a villain! He's an antagonist!"
Stevenger
“Do you fear death?”
"Davy Jones."
GeTRecKeD303
"Captain Barbosa in the first too! Great villains all around in the PotC series."
ilkmanami
"He’s so extra too. His first scene has him emerging from the water, walking along a line of terrified sailors while smoking from a pipe, stopping in front of one of them and saying 'Do you fear death?' It’s an absolutely amazing way to introduce a character."
ShinyNinja25
such a nice boy'
"James from Team Rocket."
MegaMinerd
"The only words I can think of to describe him are 'such a nice boy'. All of his Pokémon love him too much and keep trying to hug him."
Redqueenhypo
"I watched one of the older Pokemon movies last night (Lucario and the Mystery of Mew), and the humans are all supposedly about to be killed. As he’s supposedly dying, James lets his Pokemon out of their Pokeballs so they can get away."
StreetReporter
Evil
disney quote GIFGiphy"Hades in the animated Hercules movie. Huge POS, but f**k if he wasn’t entertaining."
yungjaquellus
"Today, we associate Hades with a somewhat demonic or devilish look, but the Greeks depicted him as a suave and blinged out mofo. Picture Mr. T. Precious metals and gems were his domain, so he was highly adorned."
Emperor_Neuro
"He was actually imitating the Hollywood agents he had encountered."
lifeofideas
HELLSTORM
"Les Grossman."
avidguy84
"I will rain down an un-Godly freaking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the freaking United Nations and get a freaking binding resolution to keep me from totally destroying you. I'm talking scorched earth, morons! I will massacre you! I WILL DESTROY YOU UP!"
joestrutz
My Man
"You can’t hate my man bowser. Dude has 8 kids, legit go karts and plays sports with Mario and his kids. He’s looking out for his kids by kidnapping Peach so they can have a mom, lol."
AbstractElite
"Miyamoto has stated in the past that the main line Mario games is just a work of fiction in the Mario universe, they're basically plays/movies. All the actors, Bowzer, Mario, Peach, etc are all friends outside of the games. Hence why Bowzer and other enemies get invited to hang out and party."
Endulos
Humanity sucks...
"Vlad Dracula Tepes in the 2017 Castlevania series. Humanity sucks."
fufufufufufufufuf15
"I love that depiction of Dracula: the scientist; the philosopher; the reluctantly get understandably vengeful. He was more human than the bishops and priests in that series, for sure. This series was fantastic at making the viewer sympathetic with almost everyone's story arc."
dzumdang
The Favorite!
Angry He Man GIFGiphy"Skeletor."
So3Dimensional
"He has always been my favorite and always will be. But he was an a**hole to the fullest. All he ever did was talk crap to his minions and bring them down. I used to joke that the reason why he never succeeded was because none of his support team had any self confidence left."
VeterinarianThese951
I love them all. Long live the bad guy.
#GrinchForever #SkeletorForever