Frustrating 'I'm The Client, Not My Husband' Experiences According To Women
When Kamala Harris was sworn in as the Vice-President of the United States, it was a historic moment.
As she became the first woman to hold the title, causing a major crack in the glass ceiling which still, amazingly, has yet to be broken.
Unfortunately, there are still a distressing number of people who carry antiquated opinions when it comes to gender roles.
Feeling that only a man could possibly be in charge of certain things or that women aren't cut out for certain roles. Preposterous.
Thankfully, this can sometimes lead to someone's foot being deliciously shoved right into their mouth after they embarrass themselves by assuming their husband, or male partners or assistants, are the ones in charge.
When the women they are speaking to are, to use another antiquated term, "the ones wearing the pants" in these situations.
"Woman of reddit, what is your 'I am the client not my husband stop ignoring me' story?"
Make Your Own Tea!
"My scenario doesn’t quite fit the bill but I’m a female business owner with a male business partner."
"I’ve had a few customers born in the dark ages and reps that ask to 'speak to my boss'."
"But the worst was a guy who snapped his fingers and told me to 'put the kettle on girly'."
"Needless to say he didn’t get his cuppa and he certainly didn’t get the discount he asked for."- Blondeinsideandout
"You Work On Commission, Right? Big Mistake. Huge!"
"So a while back my wife and I were hitting up local dealerships trying to find a replacement car for her 2006 Nissan subcompact."
"The first thing I would tell each salesman was that we were shopping around for a daily for her to drive."
"Honda dealership was stereotypical car salesman."
"'We can't even let her take a test drive unless she shows intent to buy'."
"Ford dealership ignored her completely and tried to sell me a mustang."
"Toyota was like, 'oh you must want to look at our (insert soccer mom vehicle here)'."
"But when we got to Mazda, I told the sales guy the same thing, that we were looking for her next car, and he immediately nodded, turned to her and asked 'what do you look for in a car?'"
"And then he just listened to her."
"He didn't ask me anything for the rest of the time we were there, focused entirely on her and answering her questions. Never rushed her or pushed her towards a different model."
"So yeah we'll probably be getting her a soul red Mazda3 cuz of that guy."- Raeshkae
Honda Meme GIFGiphyTo Assume Makes And A** Out Of "U" And Me...
"We wanted a fence around our house."
"I have always worked from home, and my husband has always worked in a field where he cannot take time to meet with contractors, etc."
"He and I agree on terms up front and then I make decisions from there."
"It doesn’t matter in life, but for this story it does."
"I make more than my husband."
"We had already agreed on this company based on various factors."
"A man came over to give an estimate during a work day, which ended up being less than we expected to pay."
"I was ready to sign the papers and he said 'I’d rather talk to your husband about the numbers and get his signature since he will be the one paying for it'."
"I asked him to leave my property and never come back."- Diligent-Reaction-23
I'm Right Here!
"Husband and I took my daughter to urgent care for stitches."
"Husband is holding the kid, and I check her in at the front desk iPad."
"Front desk man looks to my husband and asks for the insurance card."
"We’re on my insurance so I hand him the card."
"Next he tells my husband the copay, looking at him, behind me, when I’m the one standing at the damn desk."
"I pull out my card with my name on it, and pay."
"A**hole."- Fire-Kissed
ron swanson spinning GIFGiphyThis Borders On Medical Negligence
"When I was a baby for some reason I wouldn't 'latch on' when my mother breast fed me, so I wasn't eating well."
"The doctor completely ignored my mom and only talked to my dad because she was 'too hysterical'.'
'He was on the verge of finding out what that looked like."- TheHitListz
How To Lose A Tip In Three Easy Steps...
"Took my boyfriend to a very expensive birthday dinner in DC and made sure he got the best wine that night."
"The total came to about $400 just for the two of us."
"I made the initial reservation so our notes stated that I would be treating."
"Having come from working at a high end restaurant, I’m familiar with proper service steps."
"The first strike was when I ordered the wine for us and the server gave the bottle to my boyfriend to approve and taste without giving me the option."
"Second strike was although I clearly said I was treating, they placed the check in front of my boyfriend, on his birthday."
"Final straw was the manager coming over to introduce himself to my boyfriend."
"Handshake, banter, the works, without acknowledging me."
"Happened a second time at the end of the meal."
"Two manager visits."
"And I was the one trying to provide the experience and bankroll the night."
"They definitely heard about it."- kuriosramblings
GiphyThere's nothing wrong with men hoping to be chivalrous, and treat their lady to the nicer things in life.
However, chivalry is merely the characteristics of what it takes to be a knight or gentleman, including courage, honor and courtesy.
With that in mind, perhaps the most chivalrous thing any man can do, is treat a woman as their equal.
Or, when appropriate, their superior.
Monty Python's Terry Gilliam Says He's A 'Black Lesbian In Transition' In Bizarre Complaint About White Men Being Blamed For Everything
In an odd attempt to claim that White men are the true victims of all society's ills, instead of the people who hold the most power in much of the world, Terry Gilliam decided to claim that he is a "Black Lesbian In Transition."
The 79-year-old Monty Python and the Holy Grail director made his claim during an interview with The Independent while he was supposed to be promoting his new film, The Man Who Killed Don Quixote.
Instead of promoting his film, Gilliam went on a bizarre rant about how White men are the real victims.
To take his pity party one step further, he said some of Harvey Weinstein's victims were "adults who made choices."
"There are many victims in Harvey's life, and I feel sympathy for them, but then, Hollywood is full of very ambitious people who are adults and they make choices."
He also called #MeToo a "witch hunt."
"Yeah, I said #MeToo is a witch hunt. I really feel there were a lot of people, decent people, or mildly irritating people, who were getting hammered. That's wrong. I don't like mob mentality. These were ambitious adults."
Gilliam demonstrated a complete lack of understanding of power dynamics and systemic oppression with his" not all men"-esque complaint that "I didn't do it!"
"I understand that men have had more power longer, but I'm tired, as a White male, of being blamed for everything that is wrong with the world. I didn't do it!"
Alexandra Pollard, the interviewer for The Independent, attempted to explain the concept of privilege to Gilliam, but he interrupted to complain about being called out for claiming to be a Black lesbian.
Apparently Gilliam does not at all understand why that obviously false statement might be wildly offensive to most people.
"It's been so simplified is what I don't like. When I announce that I'm a Black lesbian in transition, people take offense at that. Why?"
He backpedalled and claimed that he could be "half Black" when the interviewer contested his claim, despite the fact that he had just referred to himself as a White man.
"OK, here it is. Go on Google. Type in the name Gilliam. Watch what comes up. The majority are Black people. So maybe I'm half Black. I just don't look it."
Gilliam went on to complain about how he doesn't like the terms Black and White.
"I don't like the term Black or White. I'm now referring to myself as a melanin-light male."
Twitter users were not particularly sympathetic to Gilliam's worldview or his rant.
@alexjpollard @whatneildid I don't understand why so many white men feel personally attacked when it's pointed out… https://t.co/l0dvRK0ZM5— Pippopotamus 🏳️🌈 (@Pippopotamus 🏳️🌈) 1578146152
@alexjpollard In which he seems to suggest that clever women just wisecrack their way out of rape situations. Hones… https://t.co/Oj9Izthl4d— Sali Hughes (@Sali Hughes) 1578139961
@KateWilliamsme @alexjpollard Yeah I loved how he talked about The Youths pushing off responsibility and blaming ev… https://t.co/rtB0V4fFHN— Mackenzie Kincaid (@Mackenzie Kincaid) 1578191549
The interview ended with a bizarre and troubling comment from Gilliam, after his publicist returned to tell them that time was up.
"I don't know how you got stuck with me in this mood, I just love arguing. And if you've got a point, you should be able to argue your thing. But I'm not going to hit you."
For those struggling with the concept of power dynamics and systemic, institutional biases, the book White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism is available here.
Maybe someone can send Gilliam a copy.
Conservative Podcaster Gets Epic History Lesson After Complaining About Women Fighting With Swords In 'The Witcher'
This week, another conservative commentator was schooled for their misogynist take on fictional entertainment.
People has had no problem giving him a lesson.
In Netflix's new show, The Witcher, the story is fantasy fiction and focuses on a lone monster hunter and a princess, who find their destinies to be crossed. The season focuses on world-building and how these two distinct characters, as well as many other sub-characters, mature in this environment.
As a guest podcaster on The Daily Wire, crime novelist Andrew Klavan visited and decided to comment on The Witcher after having given it a view. His comments, however, were extremely misogynist, anti-progressive and just historically wrong.
Klavan jumped right into his critique, giving away his position:
"Immediately I was put off by the fact that there's a queen in this who fights like a man. There's a couple of scenes where women fight with swords."
"And I just hate these scenes, because no women can fight with swords. Zero women can fight with a sword."
Klavan then felt the need to elaborate on what he meant:
"What I mean by that is in a situation where you are fighting men who are used to fighting with swords, you are going to get killed if you are a woman fighting with a sword 100 percent of the time."
"A woman with a sword could kill somebody who doesn't know how to fight with a sword. But in a war situation, where you are swinging this five to ten pound sword again and again and again, against much, much, much stronger men, they are going to kill you."
Klavan then suggested a more realistic take on the fantasy fictional show, since monster-slaying appears to be more realistic than a woman handling a sword.
Klavan suggested:
"They should have made the character a man. She's a man."
"She's gross. She swaggers around and she rips into the meat and tears it with her teeth and curses people."
"It was a feminist statement and I was like 'please, give me a break.' I don't know if that is in the book but this is not the way that any woman behaves."
You can watch his full critique here:
Daily Wire host reviews 'The Witcher': "No woman can fight with a sword. Zero women can fight with a sword" https://t.co/RJuUoujkAG— Jason Campbell (@Jason Campbell) 1578014228.0
Twitter, of course, felt the need to respond.
They gave Klavan a little history lesson in sword-fighting and common fantasy fiction elements.
@JasonSCampbell Um what— The Guillotine Shouter (@The Guillotine Shouter) 1578146660.0
Some started off easy on Klavan, pointing out his inaccurate portrayal of the weapon women apparently can't wield effectively.
@_Milo_De_Venus_ @JasonSCampbell Seriously. A zweihander, one of the heaviest swords ever used in warfare, was only about 5-7 pounds.— Crustaceans🦀 (@Crustaceans🦀) 1578106355.0
Or, ya know, Joan of Arc.
Also, while we're talking about wielding, there were multiple comments about how the making of swords is specifically meant for easier handling.
And never mind the popular female figures who viewed swords as their weapons of choice.
@JasonSCampbell Counterpoint: Julie d'Aubigny, the bisexuals cross dressing opera star and swordsman who famously a… https://t.co/ZWX18Q62HP— Kim Cavill (@Kim Cavill) 1578015539.0
@JasonSCampbell so glad this guy is speaking the truth, i.e., that in a sword fight Ben Shapiro would win against S… https://t.co/6OWLt4099h— Max Kennerly (@Max Kennerly) 1578107148.0
@MikeLamentino @JasonSCampbell There's actually quite a few examples of real life women swordfighters, it all depen… https://t.co/7p4eIowph4— I am Jack's itchy taint (@I am Jack's itchy taint) 1578016039.0
Also, apparently women being proper sword fighters is much less predictable than monsters and monster-slaying.
@JasonSCampbell Guys like this are the ones who need to be ridiculed as snowflakes. He can watch a show with magic,… https://t.co/JBrhbfbTRi— DarkMatter2525 (@DarkMatter2525) 1578126931.0
@JasonSCampbell Every time a woman does anything on screen other than play a one dimensional, passive love interest… https://t.co/g9h1sS0Zaa— Claudia B (@Claudia B) 1578076711.0
Clearly, before Klavan comes forward with another film or TV critique, he should be careful to double-check his historical, and patriarchal, facts before speaking out about the "issues" he's seeing.
He may also, where applicable, want to give the books a gander, too.
You can get The Witcher Boxed Set: Blood of Elves, The Time of Contempt, Baptism of Fire to check out the accuracy of Klavan's rant here.
'Star Wars' Actor John Boyega Apologizes For 'Badly Worded' Comments After Fans Think He Criticized Co-Star Kelly Marie Tran
Star Wars actor John Boyega issued an apology after making some questionable statements in a recent interview with Variety.
Fans felt that he was undermining co-star Kelly Marie Tran's experiences with racism and misogyny online.
Variety asked Boyega about his very active social media presence.
Since the start of his acting career with the 2011 film Attack the Block, Boyega has used social media to connect with fans. After landing the role of Finn in Disney's latest Star Wars trilogy, millions of followers on both his Instagram and Twitter have enjoyed his behind the scenes posts.
He began talking about the impact that social media had on contemporary Star Wars fans.
"And then I think about this the first "Star Wars" franchise in the era of social media. You've never had another trilogy at the height of social media like this and so me that's also interesting. It's making a different experience."
The interviewer then brought up his Asian co-star Kelly Marie Tran.
Tran was was brutally attacked by online trolls with racist and sexist vitriol after starring in Star Wars: The Last Jedi in 2017. The posts took a toll on Tran's emotional health and she eventually quit social media entirely. Daisy Ridley had a similar experience with online misogyny and also dropped off social media.
Boyega seemed to imply that such negativity comes with the territory of being famous.
"Being in this position, you just understand the masses, how the masses think, you know. Through social media, we get to engage, we get to have fun."
"But at the same time, for those who are not mentally strong, you are weak to believe in every single thing that you read. That's, you know, it is what it is. I don't know, for me anyway, when I see that [backlash], I'm like, well, that's actually not true."
He went on to say that ignoring haters is worth it for the sake of true fans.
"But to engage, to connect with the fans who otherwise wouldn't get a day to day experience, especially during things like the press tour, and behind the scenes stuff, is always good."
The phrase "those who are not mentally strong" raised some eyebrows.
Boyega apologized and explained that he wasn't specifically thinking of Tran when he answered.
He tweeted:
"In no way was I referring to Kelly when I made my comments although the interviewer mentioned her given the topic. I was really speaking from my own perspective throughout this franchise. Sometimes I've felt strong and sometimes I've felt weak. Badly worded though. I apologize."
Fans were happy that he owned up to his statements.
@JohnBoyega Thank you for clarifying.— Jessica Soleigh (@Jessica Soleigh) 1576134502
Some people believe his words were twisted and pointed out that he defended Tran in the past.
@JohnBoyega Don't worry, John. A lot of people know that's not what you meant. We can tell that the media was twist… https://t.co/tiIR3WEoOR— Edgysaber (@Edgysaber) 1576161271
@JohnBoyega I love you John and for me it was very clear you were speaking from your experience. youve always defen… https://t.co/Pjd8g4DwQF— cat al'meara (@cat al'meara) 1576134552
@JohnBoyega Those of us that have been paying attention knew what you were saying. Carry on being a great guy, Joh… https://t.co/ITc1LvinEm— Mara Jade Skywalker (@Mara Jade Skywalker) 1576151507
The press tour for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker hasn't been going smoothly for the franchise's cast.
Lead actress Daisy Ridley, who plays Rey in the trilogy, was criticized after denying in an interview with The Guardian that she was privileged compared to other acting hopefuls. Ridley comes from a wealthy family with connections in the film industry.
J.J. Abrams, the film's director, also made disparaging comments about The Last Jedi director Rian Johnson's controversial approach to the movie:
"It's a bit of a meta approach to the story. I don't think that people go to Star Wars to be told, 'This doesn't matter"'
As mentioned previously, Tran is not the only Star Wars actress who has been targeted on social media.
Back in 2014, Daisy Ridley vowed to never use social media again after being harassed by people who didn't want Star Wars to have a female lead.
"I don't really think bad vibes should have the sun shone on them...I'm 24. I have a lot of growing up to do. I have to deal with loads of stuff, myself personally. For that to be projected with millions of people watching, that is like a bit of an extra pressure."
The movie Cyberbully is available here.
Male Pastors Read Sexist Comments People Made About Their Female Colleagues—And Their Reactions Are All Of Us
Sexism in the workplace is nothing new.
It's been going on for ages.
There are some situations, though, that you sort of expect that people would just ... be better about.
Like working in the ministry, for example. The North Carolina Conference of the United Methodist Church just released a video proving how wrong you'd be.
The video, which is about 7 and a half minutes long, features male Methodist pastors reading comments that female Methodist pastors have heard. The comments, submitted by the women, covered a range of topics.
Some questioned whether it was appropriate for a woman to preach, some implied (or outright stated) that women were weaker and the amount of sexual comments was just disgusting.
Folks, don't hit on your pastor. Why do we even need to type that out?
The male preachers were not prepped about the comments beforehand - and it shows in some of their facial reactions.
Behold, some of the many faces of "WTF?" Which one are you usually?
We're typically a solid #5 when someone says gross stuff.
NCCUMC
NCCUMC
NCCUMC
NCCUMC
NCCUMC
If you're sensitive to sexist and misogynistic comments, you may want to proceed with caution at this point. The comments made may be disturbing or upsetting to you.
They certainly were to the women who heard them, as well as the men who read them. Here are a few.
"I can't concentrate on your sermon because you're so pretty."
"You do a really good job, but I think scripture is more meaningful if read with a male voice."
"You are looking fat."
"Women shouldn't wear pants."
"You're going to hell, you know. God does not permit women to preach. It's in the bible."
"I keep picturing you naked under your robe."
"During holy communion it's hard for me to concentrate when you say "this is my body, given for you." I keep thinking about your body, not Jesus's body."
"If God can use a donkey, I guess he can use women in ministry. "
"Better be careful eating so much, you don't want to lose that school girl figure. "
"If I were 20 years younger, you wouldn't be able to keep me away from you."
The men in the video reacted with sadness, disgust, and disappointment. They don't really seem too shocked, though - which is pretty telling.
Watch the video for yourself.
The video started making the rounds on Twitter, where people seemed just as horrified as the male pastors.
This video is a much watch. Male United Methodist pastors read comments made to female United Methodist pastors.… https://t.co/gWgZpLUBZ7— Ryan Burge 📊 (@Ryan Burge 📊) 1560517348.0
@WilGafney This makes me so mad!!! But at the same time does not surprise me.— Tiny (@Tiny) 1560613890.0
@therevallison UGH yep.— Clarity Sabbath (@Clarity Sabbath) 1560481066.0
@SarahSpain @JulieDiCaro @JustNotSports This is spot on and "we" as a society and more specifically men have to be… https://t.co/3Epuq96jCM— Justin Garrison (@Justin Garrison) 1560964693.0
I grew up with a strong mother who would never allow a priest to tell her how to live or love. She left the Church… https://t.co/Q8ImobCJQ7— John Laub 🇺🇸 (@John Laub 🇺🇸) 1560944929.0
I wish more church leaders would champion projects like this. Serious introspection isn't a favorite exercise in ma… https://t.co/zksutcB5R3— Ron Hebshie (@Ron Hebshie) 1560952594.0
What sorts of sexist comments and attitudes have you witnessed in the workplace? Can women end such attitudes or is it up to men to police themselves and the men around them?
Jessica Bennett offered the book Feminist Fight Club: An Office Survival Manual for a Sexist Workplace, available here, as a primer for women.
And sometimes, it is as simple as sending a clear message. Like this coffee mug, available here.