"Woman of reddit, what is your 'I am the client not my husband stop ignoring me' story?"
Make Your Own Tea!
"My scenario doesn’t quite fit the bill but I’m a female business owner with a male business partner."
"I’ve had a few customers born in the dark ages and reps that ask to 'speak to my boss'."
"But the worst was a guy who snapped his fingers and told me to 'put the kettle on girly'."
"Needless to say he didn’t get his cuppa and he certainly didn’t get the discount he asked for."- Blondeinsideandout
"You Work On Commission, Right? Big Mistake. Huge!"
"So a while back my wife and I were hitting up local dealerships trying to find a replacement car for her 2006 Nissan subcompact."
"The first thing I would tell each salesman was that we were shopping around for a daily for her to drive."
"Honda dealership was stereotypical car salesman."
"'We can't even let her take a test drive unless she shows intent to buy'."
"Ford dealership ignored her completely and tried to sell me a mustang."
"Toyota was like, 'oh you must want to look at our (insert soccer mom vehicle here)'."
"But when we got to Mazda, I told the sales guy the same thing, that we were looking for her next car, and he immediately nodded, turned to her and asked 'what do you look for in a car?'"
"And then he just listened to her."
"He didn't ask me anything for the rest of the time we were there, focused entirely on her and answering her questions. Never rushed her or pushed her towards a different model."
"So yeah we'll probably be getting her a soul red Mazda3 cuz of that guy."- Raeshkae
Honda Meme GIFGiphyTo Assume Makes And A** Out Of "U" And Me...
"We wanted a fence around our house."
"I have always worked from home, and my husband has always worked in a field where he cannot take time to meet with contractors, etc."
"He and I agree on terms up front and then I make decisions from there."
"It doesn’t matter in life, but for this story it does."
"I make more than my husband."
"We had already agreed on this company based on various factors."
"A man came over to give an estimate during a work day, which ended up being less than we expected to pay."
"I was ready to sign the papers and he said 'I’d rather talk to your husband about the numbers and get his signature since he will be the one paying for it'."
"I asked him to leave my property and never come back."- Diligent-Reaction-23
I'm Right Here!
"Husband and I took my daughter to urgent care for stitches."
"Husband is holding the kid, and I check her in at the front desk iPad."
"Front desk man looks to my husband and asks for the insurance card."
"We’re on my insurance so I hand him the card."
"Next he tells my husband the copay, looking at him, behind me, when I’m the one standing at the damn desk."
"I pull out my card with my name on it, and pay."
"A**hole."- Fire-Kissed
ron swanson spinning GIFGiphyThis Borders On Medical Negligence
"When I was a baby for some reason I wouldn't 'latch on' when my mother breast fed me, so I wasn't eating well."
"The doctor completely ignored my mom and only talked to my dad because she was 'too hysterical'.'
'He was on the verge of finding out what that looked like."- TheHitListz
How To Lose A Tip In Three Easy Steps...
"Took my boyfriend to a very expensive birthday dinner in DC and made sure he got the best wine that night."
"The total came to about $400 just for the two of us."
"I made the initial reservation so our notes stated that I would be treating."
"Having come from working at a high end restaurant, I’m familiar with proper service steps."
"The first strike was when I ordered the wine for us and the server gave the bottle to my boyfriend to approve and taste without giving me the option."
"Second strike was although I clearly said I was treating, they placed the check in front of my boyfriend, on his birthday."
"Final straw was the manager coming over to introduce himself to my boyfriend."
"Handshake, banter, the works, without acknowledging me."
"Happened a second time at the end of the meal."
"Two manager visits."
"And I was the one trying to provide the experience and bankroll the night."
"They definitely heard about it."- kuriosramblings
GiphyThere's nothing wrong with men hoping to be chivalrous, and treat their lady to the nicer things in life.
However, chivalry is merely the characteristics of what it takes to be a knight or gentleman, including courage, honor and courtesy.
With that in mind, perhaps the most chivalrous thing any man can do, is treat a woman as their equal.
Or, when appropriate, their superior.
Reddit user TyDye386 asked:
"Trans people of Reddit, what was the biggest 'culture shock' you noticed after transitioning to your gender?"
Personal Space
"Almost no touching by non family members."
"When I was living as a woman they would give hugs, touch my shoulder or arms, even strangers when it wasn't always appreciated."
"As a man now they will shake your hand nothing else."
- Dutch_Rayan
One Of The Guys
"The difference between being friends with people of same and different genders is shocking."
"Now that I'm out to my friends my guy friends treat me much differently. I'm one of them now, and it's a lot different than being friends with guys as a girl, or even being friends with girls as a girl."
- MyChemicalFoemance
"I’m curious how did they treat you differently if you could elaborate? I’m fascinated on what changes you noticed from them."
- tylrss
"They (my male friends) have been much more relaxed around me, they've been considerably more comfortable making fun of me (jokingly) and also when it comes to like physical contact and stuff my female friends are much less touchy with me now that I've transitioned socially where as the guy friends are generally more touchy with me, both in roughhousing and standard like platonic affection. So that was interesting."
"They're definitely more open around me, they tend to talk about their girlfriends more around the other guys vs with the girls. The girls still talk about their partners with me though so that hasn't changed lmao"
- MyChemicalFoemance
"Sorry, Bud"
"People weren’t joking when they said Canadians use the word “bud” a lot when talking to boys."
- nightingalegrey15
"Congrats on your transition to Canadian!"
- Error707
"trans-can"
- miami-architecture
"On the flip side, as a recently out, currently transitioning, and in almost no way 'passing' trans woman, getting people to not call me that is a challenge and a half, especially if they knew me before."
"I literally want to get a soundboard of that clip from Hamilton where he aggressively says 'CALL ME "SON" ONE MORE TIME!!'"
-Secretly_Pineapple
"All I can think of is Terrance and Phillip though."
"'I'm not your buddy, pal' 'I'm not your pal, guy!' 'I'm not your guy, bud!'"
- rainshadow425
friendship buddies GIF by South Park Giphy*Nods*
"male here. suddenly no one gives a sh*t about me, i feel totally anonymous. No one makes any comments about me or double takes or smiles or anything. I’ll get a nod but that’s it."
- Bonesaucer
"Nods in agreement*"
- Mango Weasel
"Welcome to being a man. We have jackets."
- FrostyByte62
"More importantly, we have pockets."
- Zenki95
"The pockets are amazing. They are huge and numerous."
- Bonesaucer
"You Should Wear..."
"People telling me what I should be wearing. Like I was at work one time in a super market a customer was like. 'So when are you going to start wearing a dress.' 'I worked on the freezer aisle so ... never? There are literally other women here right now, none of them are wearing a dress?'"
"Honestly the biggest surprise for me when I came out to all my friends. They were round for RPG night and I told them. They were all like 'OK cool' apart from one who yelled 'CALLED IT!' I had it in my head that there was going to be this hugely negative experience. That bit happened when I told my family. But you know what they say. You don't get to choose who you are related too."
- Artsygem87
One Of The Girls
"The amount of women in my family, my female friends, and even female acquaintances now confiding every single deep dark detail of their life in me, or just openly talking about their every bodily function."
"I became 'One of the girls' way before I was comfortable with it."
- O_My_Goshness_No
"Yea one of the big parts of sisterhood- and why female friend groups are so vicious to one of their own being hurt- is because we know everything about each other."
"There are very few boundaries drawn between women, family members especially."
- h0n3yst
My Behavior Didn't Change
"I'm an autistic man mid-20s."
"Not being perfectly polite (like, down to the non-autistic standard I guess) and even a little blunt is now considered 'honesty' rather than 'rudeness' or 'talking back'."
- tollthedead
A Spectrum Of Reactions
"I'm a nonbinary trans man. I think the biggest culture shock for me has been how personally some of the women around me take my transition."
"I have been pleasantly surprised that most people of either gender are chill with my trans-ness."
"But I've found that of the people who take issue with it, women are much more vocal about it. Like, men will just pointedly not use my pronouns if they have an issue, but some of the women in my family literally try to guilt trip me about it and women who barely know me tell me not to "mutilate" my chest. Which made me realize fully that women actually do see their breasts as part of their body and losing them would be a loss like losing a leg whereas to me my sense of self starts underneath them to the point that lying on my stomach is frustrating because I feel like my chest can never actually touch whatever surface I'm laying on. So despite the comment being rude, it's surprisingly validating."
- anarchomoth
You Like That Thing? Prove It.
"I'm a game developer and probably know more about video games than most people. As a guy if I said I was a fan of this or that series it would basically be taken uncritically. Now, as a woman, in groups of mostly men when I say 'I really like Metal Gear Solid' there's a weirdly high incidence of dudes feeling the need to quiz me to prove that I'm a 'real' fan."
"I mean catcalls and generally not being as safe in public also sucks, but we all knew about that stuff. The weird part was just not being taken seriously anymore on stuff I'm actually quite knowledgeable on."
"Edit: The handful of replies to this doubting these experiences are a case study in irony. Way to prove the point."
- brainwarts
Finding Community
"Honestly the transgender/nonbinary culture on its own is so much cooler than i expected. transitioning turned out to be a treat when it allowed me to make friends with all these gorgeous, stylish queer people that support me and let me be who I am."
- Mysterious_Bite_7394
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor jojomecoco was curious to hear what the men of Reddit considered the biggest obstacles and challenges which come with their gender, leading them to ask:
"Boys, what's the downside to being a male?"
What lies between one's legs...
"Getting hit in the nuts."- Phantomtastic
"Balls stick to leg."- BuffGroot
Societal Expectations
"All the expectations."
"'We must be swift as the coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon'."- SparkAxolotl
"Our childhood interests don’t truly change much into adulthood, but we are often seen as childish if we continue to pursue them."
"One of my greatest laments is the magnitude of friends who said, 'when I grow up I’ll be able to afford..,' yet abandoned those dreams due to social conditioning."- nixxy19
nicksplat doug GIFGiphyDon't let a persona fool you.
:Being called a creep when you call a kid adorable."- OkraFit3987
Men like hugs too...
"I haven't been hugged in 14 years."- Delphii42
It can be hard for everyone...
"Whatever dating is now."- Thompson_S_Sweetback
lonely season 7 GIFOuch
"Almost never get compliments."
"Ever."- Redbeardthe1st
What are your intentions, exactly?
"I can’t be nice to women without them thinking I’m hitting on them or what have you."
"Like yeah you’re pretty but also, I’m just being polite."- pdeagz
When push comes to shove, sometimes we all feel like the world is against us, and we have to face an uphill battle.
But if one were to provide a study, the likely outcome would prove that men, namely white, cisgender, heterosexual men, often have a much less steep hill to climb than anyone else.
And though it might certainly be a different sensation, getting hit really hard between the legs is painful for everyone.
Short-haired Cloë Freeman, 29, said she asked for a traditional fade at the store.
But she was stunned when her request was refused by staff at Misters Mens Hairdressers in St Helier, Jersey, - because she was a woman.
Staff later said she was denied her cut as male customers would be put off by her presence.
Jersey Evening Post / SWNS
The civil servant has said she found the incident "upsetting" and is demanding an apology from the hairdressers.
Cloë said:
"I wasn't even given a chance to say what I was looking for. I was told that they don't service women, end of."
"But I think when you look at my hair for just two seconds, it is pretty obvious I wasn't coming in looking for a bouncy blow dry."
"The only reason I couldn't get what I wanted was because I was a woman."
"I had been shaving my own hair for quite some time and a while ago decided to try out a new style and approached Image Barbers at West's Centre to get a fade."
"Initially I was a bit apprehensive, but when the guys in the barber didn't blink an eye, I then felt comfortable enough to approach a few different barbers in town."
Cloë added that she had gone to salons in the past but found that barbers had better expertise in the style that she wanted.
She added:
"I was particularly taken aback by the reception I got when I walked into Misters because I have had fades done by around four or five barber's shops in town and not one of them made me feel unwelcome, or even acted as though me being there was unusual."
In addition to what Ms Freeman described as an unnecessarily abrupt reception, she added that the shop was completely empty at the time.
She added:
"What I was looking to get done would take around 20 to 30 minutes and, as the place was completely empty, it made the situation even stranger."
Cloë said that although she recognized that the barbershop may not have intended to discriminate against her, the incident had shown 'a general lack of awareness'.
A woman who worked at Misters Mens Hairdressers, but would not give her name, defended her position to refuse Cloë a haircut.
She said:
"Women sometimes come in here looking for a haircut because it is cheaper than in salons."
"But when men come in and see a woman sitting here they are put off coming in as they don't like being here when a woman is here."
But Advocate Barbara Corbett from Corbett Le Quesne law firm has waded into the argument, and said the treatment of Cloë was discriminatory.
She said:
"This is a case of discrimination. And while there may be a defense, I cannot see which one would apply. It's like a nail technician refusing to do a man's nails."
"Men go to barbers to get a particular kind of haircut for the kind of hair they have. "
"If a man with long hair went to a salon to get his hair cut, the salon wouldn't be allowed to refuse him."
"So if this woman was looking for the same haircut as some men get, but was refused on the grounds of being a woman, this is a case of discrimination."
She said that Misters Mens Hairdressers' argument that having a woman getting her hair cut in the premises could make men feel uncomfortable was not a justifiable defense.
Since the Discrimination (Jersey) Law 2013 was introduced in September 2014, people in Jersey have had the right not to be subjected to discrimination on the grounds of race.
Since that time, the law has been extended to cover areas including gender, sexual orientation and age.
*A version of this story originally appeared on SWNS and was written by Krystle Higgins and John Bett