Love is love, and all human beings have the right to be in love with whoever they love.
Homophobia is a dark cloud that muddies that idea. But because of culture, religion, and upbringings, some people, unfortunately, learn to be homophobic and to be harshly judgmental against what people do in private.
But homophobia can be unlearned. Redditor u/Mr_Damaged asked ex-homophobes what made them change their views... And people answered with stories about what opened their minds and taught them not to hate others.
10. Their daughter opened their eyes
"I'm old, lets get that out first. I grew up in a society that used gay and all the various derogatory terms as insults. It took a long time to get past that. It happened after I had kids. My daughter came home from school with a friend. After he left I said, 'Is he gay, cause he seems gay?' She said, Oh my god dad, why the hell would that even matter to you?
It was like a light lit up in my head. You're right, why the hell would that matter? It was a life changing moment. Why do I care? Why should I care? I had no sensible answer to those questions other than I shouldn't. It changed my views toward life and happiness, and oh yes, politics. She knows how much I've changed, and I've made sure to let her know it was that simple statement that changed me. It was the moment I quit teaching her, and she began teaching me."
9. Love is love
Giphy
"First time I fell in love. I realized how wonderful it was and at the same time realized that it was wrong to take that amazing feeling away from people."
8. They listened and became an ally
"I remember starting high school and they had us all Gather in the gym to look at all the clubs and extracurricular activities offered to us. I saw some kids standing under a banner that said 'gay-straight Alliance', and I chuckled at its absurdity.
Then I went to one of the meetings to impress a girl I liked.
The leader of the group told the story of Matt Shepard. A gay college student who is beaten to death in 1998 for no other reason than being gay. From that the other members of the group started sharing their stories of being bullied and persecuted and beat up, most of them by members of their own family. That's the moment that my callous heart melted, and I realized how insufferable I've been up until that point in my life. And I've considered myself an ally ever since."
7. They met new people in college
"Going to college, meeting and interacting with gay people. Seeing them as people."
6. Their friend's sexuality didn't matter to them
"When my friend realised he was gay. I was 12-13. I didn't see him become a different person. I just saw him staring at men instead of women. What do I care.? He's still the same guy. His sexuality did not impact me."
5. Australian politics
Giphy
"The yes/no vote in Australia. The ads for the yes vote was almost entirely based on compassion, but the ones in support of the no vote was based on hate. It was kind of pathetic looking back and it was sad how many old/sheep follower type people would see that and believe it and hate gays for it."
4. They were honest with themselves
"Realising I'm gay. I Still got some internalized homophobia to deal with but it's a process."
3. Consenting adults can do what they want to do
"Leaving Arkansas did the trick. How arrogant can someone be to tell others what they can or can't do on their own time/private life when it's by consenting adults."
2. Parents aren't always right
"Well my dad was and is a homophobe so when I was younger I was shaped to believe that anyone who isn't straight is bad. But then I realised that dad is just a mean person and that people can't help who they are or who they identify as"
1. Simply growing up
"Growing up. It's easy to be judgmental when you're young and life is simple. When you enter the world of paying bills, drowning in debt, going without sleep, and trying to hold it together when times are tough, you start to see that we're all-- all of us-- just trying to make something good out of our generally s***** lives. Why begrudge anyone their happiness?"
Twitter user trendy timic is not a public figure we know a lot about, so let's take a moment to examine their Twitter bio, shall we?
Trendy Timic describes themselves as:
"I disturb peoples TL with Jokes || Facts || Content Creator || Brand Publicist"
The account is part of the social media team of Nigerian disc jockey DJ Timic.
The woman in the profile photo for trendy timic also appears in several photos with DJ Timic who describes himself as:
"I am the mouthpiece of the Jesus. I minister in songs."
Apparently Kanye has some competition.
According to the DJ Timic Facebook page:
"This Is One Of The World Famous(Disc Jockey) In Nigeria, We Do Mixtapes, Artiste Promo, Club D.Js, Birthdays Parties, Event, Video Coverage & Many More...."
Birthday party DJ or messenger of God?
Who knows?
But let's start with the Twitter posts of trendy timic.
Look, regardless of what any anti-gay sentiments might say, we feel like we need to remind you that "those Gays out there" are not just out there.
They're everywhere. They always have been.
You know why? Because they're just regular people!
They're other human beings, not some rare and endangered species you need to trek into the wilderness to behold.
Gaywatching parties aren't a thing.
Although...
Anyway, here are those 8 powerful signs of gayness ... which you might notice are actually not.
At all.
So, to clarify...
- if you look at a man
- go to church
- do any self maintenance
- go to the gym
- dress well
- have male friends
- crack jokes with your friends
- like anything other than totally vanilla sex
- talk with your hands...
...you're gay, apparently.
It's unclear whether the female associated with DJ Timic in several photos online that the account is purported to belong to or DJ Timic himself created this "helpful" list for women.
However, given the laws in Nigeria regarding the LGBTQ community, the series of tweets posted under trendy timic's Twitter account seem a lot less "joking" and more menacing.
How strict are the laws regarding LGBTQ people in Nigeria?
"The new law prohibits any form of relationship, including 'domestic partnerships,' 'caring partnerships,' or 'adult independent relationships' between two individuals of the same sex. It also punishes any public show of affection, even a kiss, between two people of the same sex, with 10 years in prison."
"Anyone who speaks out in support of, meets with, or participates in a group advocating for the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex (LGBTI) people also risks 10 years in prison."
"People of the same sex who share a room because they cannot afford anything else – which is not unusual in a country where the majority of people live on less than a dollar a day – could be accused of being in a relationship and locked up for years."
"Anyone could accuse their neighbor of being gay, or of having spoken out about LGBTI rights."
"Men and women living with HIV/AIDS will have to think twice before looking for care and treatment out of fear of falling foul of the new law."
This Twitter list isn't cute or funny for people in Nigeria.
People arrested after the law passed faced being locked away in isolation with no access to legal counsel. They were sentenced to whippings, stonings and other violent acts of punishment. Nigerians are encouraged to turn anyone they suspect of being gay in to authorities.
This thread is encouraging a witch hunt based on ridiculous stereotypes.
Twitter was SO NOT HERE FOR THIS MESS.
@trendydjtimic People like you should have supervision when using the Internet.— Vicki Pope (@Vicki Pope) 1578223569
@CoxeAnne @trendydjtimic Who willingly does housework, don't forget the tidy home. It's what sold it for me— abbie snail lines (@abbie snail lines) 1578342146
@trendydjtimic Are straight people okay? Sounds exhausting. #offtothesauna #inmytighttrendyclothes— Rob Kenny-Lipar (@Rob Kenny-Lipar) 1578472967
@i_am_wave_daddy @trendydjtimic 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂... the stupidity of that whole thread is mind boggling— Thundazz⚡ (@Thundazz⚡) 1578182833
In conclusion, this thread is bonkers.
Please, keep your bodies and rooms clean. It's 2020.
None of us should smell like this Twitter thread's version of straight men.
To get beyond gender stereotypes, the book Parenting Beyond Pink & Blue: How to Raise Your Kids Free of Gender Stereotypes is available here. The children's book Pink Is for Boys is available here.
The couple chose the Sheraton Buganvilias Resort and Convention Center, a Marriott-owned resort, in the notably gay-friendly city. Not expecting any major issues, Josh filled out the hotel's online booking for weddings and waited to hear back.
Despite trying to book an all-inclusive wedding package with 40-45 guests attending (all also staying at the resort), Josh never heard back from the Sheraton.
When he called the hotel directly and asked to speak to someone about booking a wedding, he had a heck of a time just getting to speak to a live person. Multiple voicemails were left unanswered.
When Josh finally did get to talk to a live person, they took his email address and promised to send him information about their wedding services. That information never came.
Growing ever more frustrated after weeks of trying to get his questions answered, Josh called back once again. He eventually got the information sent to him and called back with some follow-up questions.
Over the course of that conversation, Josh mentioned that it was a same-sex wedding—intending only to point out that they would need two grooms' boutonnieres rather than the usually-included boutonniere and bouquet.
The hotel employee's response was as bizarre as it was homophobic. They told Josh that the Sheraton didn't specialize in same-sex weddings, so could not host their service and reception.
In a follow up email, that sentiment was repeated.
The hotel told Josh that their hotel staff was "not specialized to carry out" a same-ex wedding, and recommended that the couple seek a booking at another resort.
Josh Rimer, Mr. Gay Canada 2019/YouTube
Shortly after receiving the email, Josh decided to share their story on YouTube.
He shared his confusion at how a hotel could possibly need to specialize in gay weddings.
"What do you mean specialize? Why do you need to specialize in gay weddings? There's not much to specialize, other than it's going to be a groom and a groom instead of a bride and a groom."
"I don't know if she thinks we're going to show up in speedos with go-go dancers, and we expect the officiant to be wearing leather chaps? This is just a normal wedding, it just happens to be with two guys."
Our wedding venue canceled because we're gay youtu.be
The couple have since received an apology from the Marriott corporate office, but received no additional contact from the resort itself.
They aren't stuck trying to find another venue, however. Word of Josh and Heath's negative experience with the Sheraton reached Marriott-competitor Hilton. The hotel chain quickly offered the couple the use of their nearby Hilton property in Puerto Vallarta—free of charge.
Josh said Hilton is planning "the wedding of my dreams."
Vendors have also come forward to offer their services for free.
"When they sent us the write-up of everything that's going to be included, everything said 'groom and groom'. Hallelujah!"
Marriott has since released a statement about Josh and Heath's negative experience with their company.
"Marriott is greatly concerned about the experience reported by Mr. Rimer."
"Marriott has long been committed to providing an environment where all are welcome including our LGBTQ guests and their loved ones."
"When we learned about this matter, we immediately contacted Mr. Rimer and expressed our sincerest apologies for his experience."
Apologies are nice, but what is Marriott doing to ensure their locations stop discriminating?
Equality doesn't hurt anyone.
Amazon
