Married People Reveal What They Hate Most About Their In-Laws
"Reddit user fuzzyloulou asked: 'Married people of Reddit, what's something you just hate about your in-laws?'"
Blending families is always a roll of the dice.
Sometimes people get lucky... because their in-laws are dead.
I jest.
Sometimes lovers and in-laws get along famously.
But a lot of the time significant others have to deal with in-laws that can be a lot.
Just because someone has become instant family doesn't mean you have to adore them.
They can still be horrible people, that you learn to live with.
Chosing a partner comes with strings.
And some of those strings are chains.
You have figure out how much you can bare.
Redditor fuzzyloulou wanted to see who was brave enough to call out what they despise about their in-laws, so they asked:
"Married people of Reddit, what's something you just hate about your in-laws?"
I've never had in-laws.
And I have a feeling, that was a blessing.
The Horror
never ending wash GIF by Oggy and the Cockroaches Giphy"My in-laws are nearly perfect. But if my MIL comes over and there are clean dishes in the sink drying, she will dry them and put them away. Even if she doesn't know where it goes, she will just guess. My life is horrible."
meyerjaw
Family Matters
"My FIL called my wife and her 3 sisters wh*res all while standing I’m MY house. The reason you ask? They all got married outside of the Catholic faith. We haven’t spoken in 6 years. Best 6 years of my life."
Patrick2337
"I could have had things turn wrong the moment I handed back the baptism contract to my mil and told her I wouldn't sign it."
"She asked why and I proceeded to tell her about how and why I dropped out of college. I took business and accounting, I don't f**k around with contracts or numbers. Then I told her about my Catholic upbringing. Changed her mind real quick. It pains me to know that my time is now limited with this woman."
KnowItOrBlowIt
Not into you...
"My MIL isn’t too nice to the kids. Granted, she has 15 grandkids, you can tell which ones she likes more. And less. My kids are in the middle."
wclure
"That sucks. I was one of those kids the grandparents liked less too. If it’s any consolation, I wasn’t too upset it just meant we weren’t as close so when they died I wasn’t super torn up."
whitepangolin
Overloaded
"The way they travel. The constant need to overpack, shop for s**t to take home, etc always results in like half a dozen overweight suitcases and carryons that they then ALWAYS have to re-organize to handle the weight and they ALWAYS expect everyone in the group to pack light to accommodate in case they have to dump s**t on you. I hate it and it pisses me off every time."
Sorry-birthday1
Not Real
Sashay Away GIF Giphy"How fake they are. They just care about their image and how they appear to others, very little, if anything, is genuine about them."
Unhygienictree
Why don't fake people know we see the fake?
No matter if they're strangers or family... the transparency is real.
Be Quiet
Amy Schumer No GIF by Saturday Night Live Giphy"I absolutely love my inlaws, but compared to my family they are REALLY loud. Like instead of taking turns talking they just talk louder over each other until someone listens. I leave with a headache, and that's including times I sneak to an empty room for peace."
kannakantplay
Just About Everything
My MIL? Love her, she's great. My FIL? Cheated on my MIL with her sister, and still sees said sister on a weekly basis while somehow still remaining married to my MIL. Bought himself and the sister a new car while my MIL drives a 20-year-old F-150. When he is home all he does is drink Budweiser from 11 am on while watching TV. And complains about everyone else in the family."
"Doesn't come to his grandkids' birthday parties and just hands us some cash to go buy something and to say it's from him. On several occasions, he's been at nice dinners and gets drunk and belligerent to the point of embarrassing everyone with him. So when it comes to my FIL, to answer the question... just about everything."
Tiberius_Jim
This Christmas Sucks!
"Oh God, do I have stories? My MIL is one of the cheapest people I have ever met and a hoarder. For my son's first birthday, she gave him a roll of paper towels because... 'Look! He loves it, doesn't even know whether it is a toy or not!' At age 3 for Christmas, she gave him some random toiletries and cleaning supplies she bought at the dollar store, wrapped them, and everything. Now I have to give my boy credit on those... after he opened them he said 'This Christmas Sucks!' which caused major drama for my wife and I."
who519
Vampires
"Oh man, how much time do you have? The number one thing is that they are drama vampires. They can’t live without it. Everything is about them, and if it isn’t, it will be soon. They are cartoonishly childish and it’s as ridiculous as it is sad. I feel terrible for my spouse and her siblings. Every family get-together is a sh**show. Number two is that they can’t make a plan without overcomplicating the ever-loving sh*t out of it, which my wife has inherited."
Studlum
Toxic
music video britney spears toxic GIF Giphy"My sister-in-law is one of the most toxic people I know. Total narcissist. Everything must be all about her at all times. And her husband is a codependent simp who enables her behavior. The rest of my in-laws are cool though."
celiacsunshine
Well if there was any reason to stay single, all of this it!
In-laws sound like a lot.
TikTok trends move fast. The hashtags and popular "sounds" go in and out of popularity sometimes within a week.
While some trends are fun and catch at first, if they're dragged on for too long they can become annoying and even painful to see repeatedly.
Some of them are even harmful, like pranks that other people didn't consent to. It's not new to TikTok, but the easily marketable platform didn't help stop them.
We went to AskReddit to hear which trends make people the most angry.
Redditor JaneDoe1967 asked:
"What TikTok trend gave you anger issues?"
This list might make you angry, so reader beware.
Dancing while oversharing.
"The ones where they dance to some sh*tty choreography and tell a super personal story."
"You’re going to do the stanky leg while you talk about your mom’s cancer? "
"Strange to me lol."- supragirl98
"Horrible dances."- mariommsfilho.
Dad Dancing GIF by VevoGiphyHarassing people in public.
"Harassing innocent people who are just trying to buy groceries."- Alone-War2269
The fake pranks.
"The fake pranks with the extremely over exaggerated reactions, and perfectly scripted dialogue."
"I die a little bit every time one sneaks-in on my For You page."- novato1995
"Any 'prank' video where someone leads their SO to believe they are being cheated on"
"Like there was one where someone would pretend to accidentally text their SO 'they're gone now, you can come over' and then film their SO's reaction."
"Like that shit isn't funny, and I would 100% breakup with someone if they did that to me."- WitherWithout
Scared April Fools GIFGiphyNot really adding to the joke.
"Lip syncing standup comedy."
"Your silent delivery doesn’t not enhance the joke, it makes it weird."
"Oh, and duets where it’s just the other person reacting/laughing. Especially when they’ve obviously seen the video before and are faking it this time."- soolaimon.
Licking ice cream then putting it back.
"That b*tch who licked a tub of ice cream then put it back in the supermarket fridge."- im-still-broke-broke
The "Oh No" song.
"Oh no Oh no Oh no no no."- JOSimpson.
Videos that need a second part.
"Anything with Like for Part 2."
"All videos that are multiple parts drives me up the wall because you cant just scroll to the next you have to move to their page and find your last watched then go up from there."
"It's frustrating."
"I feel old."- fatherping
To Be Continued GIF by The Bachelor AustraliaGiphyExploiting disabled people for views.
"Filming their autistic or mentally challenged relative that is clearly incapable of consenting to being the subject of all their TikToks."- MotherOfCrim.
Faking illness or neurodiversity for fun.
"People faking disorders of any kind and think they 'quirky' or 'cool,' depression and ADHD is not a fun combination."- Quirkyserenefrenzy.
Face Emojis.
"The face emoji crap, Chinese TikTok is like showing cool science stuff whereas our algorithms are underage girls doing face emoji challenges."
"TikTok is cancer."- Neffsss.
The Internet Emoji GIF by OriginalsGiphyRepetition.
"Had to delete TikTok because every second video has the same music."
"The same stupid voice overs."
"I hate it so much if the app was a person I would murder them."
"God I’m so angry right now."- digitalbilly.
The "Never" song.
"The song 'Never'."
"The moment i heard it,. it triggered a hidden rage."- pissing2u.
"It's Just a song."
"The stupid “it’s just a song” like they'd take forever and do a part 2."- Rich_Ambassador_7634.
scared covering ears GIFGiphy"Open up the safe."
"OPEN UP THE SAFE B*TCHES GOT A LOT TO SAY ERR BOOM B*TCH."
"Makes me want to throw my phone every time."- No_Loquat_7443.
"Shake it off..."
"The 'shake it off gacha' trend because it's about body shame.- Few-Scallion4693.
Stealing.
"Devious lick' basically stealing sh*t and recording it."- CreepyPandaMan.
"My friend is a teacher and it was the 'licks' one where kids were stealing sh*t from school."
"She got mad so I'd get mad."- Exact_Roll_4048.
Every single one.
"Essentially all of them because they encourage bad behavior and people are top stupid to do anything else."
"Plus some of them are actually dangerous."- MeSwimBest1.
If you haven't heard of these before, don't look them up.
It will probably only incite rage upon seeing them.
Or you'll be left with a song stuck in your head.
Hopefully, the trends that are harmful to others end as quickly as they took off.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Everyone is on edge in this current climate.
Someone going postal could be the result of a significant other's infidelity, appalling customer service, or individuals on either side of an argument over abiding by certain health protocols.
For those who are not feeling particularly bubbly at the moment, Redditor Chillay_90 asked:
"So, what ya'll mad about today?"
Being employed is a good thing.
That doesn't mean work conditions are always favorable.
A General Consensus
"Going to work."
– jebidiabooyaa
"I'm grateful to have a job just not always happy to go to it."
– jebidiabooyaa
Uncredited Employee
"Made an amazing job at work and everyone else that was higher up involved 'shoved' me aside and took credit. Now I'm the guy that worked 14 hours a day since mid December and all I got was being credited as some minor helper."
"To make matters worst I complained and my 'reward' was getting extra work and my boss saying 'in Old Rome when a gladiator killed a lion he wouldn't get a day off, he would have to kill another one the next day.'"
"I am seriously considering quitting today."
"EDIT 1: RIP my inbox, I seriously can't answer the literal hundreds of messages I am receiving right now. I thank you all for the support. I wrote in this just to vent some steam and found a lot of support here in a really bad moment. Also I am not considering posting the story again on another board mostly because I just want to move on and forget this happened altogether."
"EDIT 2: Talked to my GF and my parents and they were kinda shocked with this and asked me to quit as both see that this really took a toll on me. We will figure something out in the mean time and I have some solid savings for a rainy day, so I guess this is the time to put them to use. Also I talked to my direct supervisors this morning, as they had always been supportive and they say they will back me up in this process and try to make the next weeks as smooth as possible. One of them is apparently also considering quitting for similar reasons."
– _Didds_
Overworked/Underappreciated
"I'm a high school teacher. It's understood that we stay late on Wednesday for grade level meetings, content meetings, and professional development/training."
"I plan my life during the school year around that fact. Considering we're here until close to 6PM some Wednesdays, I make sure all afternoon/evening plans and commitments are never on a Wednesday."
"We came back yesterday and SURPRISE, we're going to be staying until 6PM on Mondays for additional meetings and training opportunities!"
"I have therapy on Mondays. BECAUSE of this job where I'm treated like sh*t from 3 different directions."
"This is my last semester at this school, so I just won't be attending. Fire me during a teacher shortage. I dare you."
– Ghost0fBanquo
Opinions matter.
So angry Redditors sounded off theirs.
Personality Clash
"My roommate’s ex wife is a narcissist. He’s got sole custody, and she still manages to cause problems. She’s the most infuriating person I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting."
– Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Everything Comes At An Exorbitant Cost
"Life is too f'king expensive."
– sam_francisco814
"For $9.99 you can unlock my opinion."
– Ryddim
Master Of Your Fate
"The fact that my future depends on me."
– BBQPHOENIX
That Time Of The Month
"It's the first day of my period, I'm mad about everything."
– whiskey__throwaway
Redditors discuss how the wide range of emotions they're feeling fueled the fire.
Soiling Clothing
"I got diarrhea and lowkey shat my pants."
"Edit at 0:36 AM: My house almost exploded due to my sister's idiocy. To tell it quickly: We have old main heating furnace that can take everything and those has option to heat up water only or to make heaters warm. She put two shovels of coal because she didn't care to check the lever that controls it. Thank god that entire house did a roar of nightmarish beast that sounded like it's about to devour you. I almost shat my pants again."
– Alex152Pl
Chill Factor
"The windchill is -40..."
– A40
Persistent Pain
"The migraine I had yesterday is still here today."
– GrumpyWampa
Grieving
"My dog collapsed right before Christmas. One blood transfusion and tons of meds later, she's on the mend."
"Went for her follow up today. Left the vet with one less dog."
"It's nobody's fault. Autoimmune disorder, probably. And she's 11, which is old, but for mini-dachshunds she should have had a few more good years."
"I'm just mad my poor dog is gone and there's nothing anyone could do about it. I miss you, Chloe."
– americancrank
Priorities
"My new computer has been updating for two hours. I want to play Sims 4."
– drunkplantmom
Let's all collectively take a deep breath.
Now exhale...
If you feel a little bit better and more relaxed, then good on you.
And if you're still feeling irritable, frustrated, or still majorly peeved, I hear you, and I validate your distress.
But whatever it is that's ticking you off, it could always be worse, amirite? All we could do is just hope for a better tomorrow. Cheers.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Myths have been around for centuries. As soon as humans were able to tell stories, we have had mythology.
Now with technology advanced far beyond the writing on the cave wall, we can more easily spread around information as well as misinformation. Some of that information can even be harmful.
Misconceptions about mental health, pregnancy, or any number of things are reinforced by social media, movies, or even word of mouth. Sometimes that can really make someone angry if they are dealing with the consequences of that falsehood.
Redditor Indieriots asked:
"What common myth p*sses you off?"
These might make you just as upset.
Mislead by TV and movies.
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report a missing person. It is a myth perpetuated TV and movies for the sake of drama, but not true in real like at all."
- tschris
"In many cases police will give missing people some kind of 'waiting period' after having checked for possible, (obvious) dangers. In many cases, because a missing person happens quite often because people make spontaneous decisions."
"But if you're sure something is really wrong and have good reasoning, they will be searching tediously even after just an hour."
- deterministic_lynx
"Yup, especially with children, the elderly, and disabled folks, those first hours are crucial. If you haven't seen/heard from a loved one when you usually would, that alone is grounds for reporting. Some cops might not take it seriously, but it's critical that you push them to listen to you."
- hayleybeth7
"Something like 1500 people go missing every day in the US. But the reason that number is so high is that most missing persons cases should probably not have even been filed in the first place. Stuff like a teenager deciding to go to a party instead of coming home at night without telling their parents."
- caninehere
An old and incorrect phrase.
"'Lightning never strikes twice in the same place.'"
"In fact, it does - and frequently."
- Back2Bach
"Lightning rods would be incredibly useless otherwise."
- gigglefarting
Gum doesn't stick around that long.
"Gum does not stay in your stomach for 7 years. Sure, swallowing a lot of gum isn't great and can cause problems in your digestive system, but it only takes a day or two to pass."
- usually-suspect
"What's funny about that is when I was kid n heard it, I took it as a challenge to only sh*t pink blobs of gum seven years after. I was quite disappointed."
- maverickmain
"Same but with the 'a watermelon will grow in your stomach if you eat the seeds!' I thought I was a genius cause I'd never go hungry again with a watermelon forever growing in my guts! I ate so many seeds lmao."
- NefariousAquarius64
Breastfeeding doesn't replace contraception.
"You can't get pregnant if you're breastfeeding. It lowers your chances but not to zero."
- Damn_Canadian
"I, a mother of two children ages 7 and 8, 100% agree with you. Doesn't matter if your baby hasn't had anything but breastmilk. Doesn't matter if you haven't a normal cycle. All of those things they say. It doesn't matter. I promise you absolutely without a doubt CAN get pregnant while breastfeeding."
"Source: my dumba** with 2 kids 12 months apart."
- Signal_Skill9761
A misconception about mental health disorders.
"That bipolar means you are 'happy one minute and sad the next minute.' It's a disorder where you have episodes of depression and episodes of mania/hypomania. These episodes last weeks/months/years. There's nothing about emotional lability at all. That's an entirely different disorder."
- 292to137
"True that! Plus manic phases aren't always happy."
- Bebe_Bleau
"Hell yeah that's for sure. I've been going to my local DBSA support group weekly for years and it seems like it's not a happy thing like for most people. Hypomania can be, but mania doesn't seem to be."
- 292to137
"Corollary: Depression does not mean you are sad all the time or can't express happiness or joy. I can bawl my eyes out for 20 minutes for no reason, and still laugh at a dumb sitcom joke before crying again."
- Forceflow15
"In my experience, Depression is more about a great feeling of emptiness than a lot of sadness, crying etc."
- Vladimir_Putting
"That OCD is liking things to be extremely neat, tidy or organized."
- clumsyumbrella
"As someone with diagnosed OCD who lives in a house that is actually a disaster, yes lol."
- wickedflowers
"This! I didn't realize I had OCD because of this and because it often overlaps with other mental illnesses."
- CapriciousSalmon
Just trying to keep the kids busy.
"'You can tell a ladybug's age by counting it's spots.' Even as a kid this didn't make sense to me. Why tell your kid this? What's the point?"
- Lvcivs2311
"Because it made kids shut up and sit still long enough to count the spots of a loving moving ladybug. 5 min to a kid, blissful peace and quiet for the parents."
- girlwhoweighted
There's no way this is true.
"We only use 10% of our brain."
- WarriorOfTheWord
"Ah, yes. The logical thing to do when you try to survive is to evolve a bigger brain, just to not use it."
- YouTube-r
Hopefully this shed some light on these important (and trivial) myths that we've continued to pass down over the years.
Thank goodness we can google the real answers.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
People Share The Best Ways To Tell Someone To F*** Off Without Having To Actually Say It
Subtext can truly be key when you can't say what's actually beneath the surface. We all know when we say, "I'm fine," we don't actually mean it. So how can we convey that with the phrase, "f*ck off"?
We all want to say it sometimes. Just a big f*ck off to that person who's annoyed the living daylights out of you.
Though, it's not always appropriate. Maybe it's your boss or coworker, maybe it's at the family dinner table, or maybe it's your romantic partner even. Regardless, it's not always the best time to actually yell at someone.
So we wanted to know what are some of the ways we can get the message across without actually saying those two little words that can land us in heaps of trouble.
Reddit users gave us plenty of answers to pull from, with some truly epic mic drops.
Redditor RaiAkshay asked:
"How do you say f*ck off, without saying f*ck off ?"
Here's some amazing examples.
Email come backs.
"Respond to a long, critical email, 'Received, thank you.'"
"Any time you begin with, 'Per my previous email...'"
"Or in the case of a long critical text, 'Unsubscribe.'"
"'Noted with thanks.' My favourite response to war and peace."
"I've just started attaching previous e-mails to my replies, and including all mentioned parties in the CC or BCC list... Like...."
"To: My Boss"
"CC: VP of Operations"
"Attachments: From: VP of Operations- No More Transfers Without My Personal Approval"
"Good Morning My Boss,"
"I denied associate John Doe's request for... whateverthef*ck transfer, due to the VP of Operations' e-mail explicitly forbidding such transactions without his personal approval. Please let me know if you'd like me to continue with the transaction anyways."
"Respectfully,"
"PaidLessButSmarterThanYouGoF*ckYourself"
"I just don't reply. When asked about it later I tell them I read it. Which I did truthfully. I just don't answer. It makes them mad."
"I do this too. You wanna go on a power trip in a mail, with tons of people in CC? Go ahead, I won't even answer."
- gagzd
Ending the argument.
"'I'd agree, but then we'd both be wrong.'"
"A similar one I like is 'There's no arguing with stupid people... so I'm just going to agree with you.'"
"'I don't bother arguing with stupid people anymore. I just cut it short and say 'you're right.'"
"'But that's completely irrational!'"
"'You're right.'"
"'Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good you are, it will just take a shit on the board and strut about like it won anyway.'"
"This is so relevant right now."
"'I think we're done here.'"
"I knew my dentist hated me."
- SHREK_2
"Don't be silly. They hate everyone."
It's like a read receipt in real life.
"Noted."
- FurL0ng
"Reminds me of the Curb Your Enthusiasm scene where Larry David responds to the neighbor that tells him to never talk again to the kids at the lemonade stand. He responded with "Duly noted' and left with a big smile."
"Duly noted is a personal favorite and used on the regular. For whatever reason people seem unable to discern whether it's genuine or sarcastic when 'duly' is added to the front."
"Oh f*ck, do I need to stop saying this? I say this a lot especially over text."
"Yeah, but it definitely depends on who you are speaking to and context."
- naykid69
"These days I tend to go with 'okie dokie' or 'alrighty' when I'm responding in the affirmative. Nobody can misread those as being passive aggressive. My mother often responds to texts with 'k,' and I know she doesn't mean anything by it but it comes across as very abrupt and rude."
"Thanks for your input."
"Got to have finger guns when you say that, with sound effects and then give a thumbs up and a little wave, otherwise it's just not real enough."
"On a similar vein, starting a reply email with 'Thank you for your email.'"
Foreigners Explain Which Parts Of American Culture Seem Strange | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
America, land of the free... and oversized portions and cars. That's how the saying goes, right? There are some baffling quirks about the United States. That...No expression.
"Zero emotions shown."
"My old man once told me that people will always want something from you. If they can't get your love then they will go for your hate. Show them nothing. Give them nothing. Show zero emotions to them. It will drive people crazy and you will learn tolerance at the same time."
"This is what got me through having to deal with a few hostile coworkers in my time. Just let it flow right past you and stick to the practicalities. And laugh at their floundering rage later, when you're alone."
"This is key to shutting down d*ckhead customers. Source: was a barista for 5 yrs, waiter for 3."
"I will literally make that cappuccino 30 times before I let you see any sign that it's a problem. When getting under your skin is 70% of why they came to your store, it's withering."
- Raskov75
"It's a way to prevent escalating a situation, but it's still not worth it. I worked in the hospitality industry (hotels) for several years. Being a doormat for entitled a**holes is half of the job, and the pay sucks. If you do your job well, you protect the business from negative publicity/reviews/attention at the expense of your self-respect."
"I think that's what a lot of people don't realize about customer service oriented positions: you may be wearing a white collar instead of a blue one, and believe you have a better job for it, but you will pay for it in self-worth over the long run. Unless you can make it to corporate, even the highest positions in the service industry are still subjected to dog sh*t behavior, and moving up is really about being subjected to that behavior less often."
"I was lucky enough to be well-educated (mostly at my parents' expense) and was able to switch industries, but that's not always the case. I would never go back, even knowing the 'tricks' of the trade and dealing with the different hassles of a desk job."
- dajodge
"He screamed,"
"he shouted, scorned and shamed,
Rebuked and ranted,
mocked and blamed.
He stormed with rage for half a day,
And when he stopped,
she told him:"
"'... k.'"
"Think I read it on here, but something like be the grey rock in a stream and let it all flow past you."
I'll call you.
"I had an old bar regular who was popular for negotiating complex legal agreements over a glass a beer. The absolute highlight of his unorthodox practice was when he was on the phone with someone while sipping on his 8th Miller of the day and said, 'No don't call me, I'll call you. That'll limit our communication, which is great because I hate speaking to you.'"
"I respect that man a lot."
"My grandfather always says, 'Don't call me, I'll call you.' or when we were kids, 'Go play out in the street, I'll call you in later.' He speaks with the driest tone of anyone I've ever met, not sure if he's kidding or just hates everyone."
"My grandpa use to tell me to 'go play on the freeway,' I always thought it was hilarious. I wish he was still around to say it to my kids."
"'Go and play with the buses' was my mum's line."
- codeacab
"You folks have/had some shitty parents ngl. Like who tells their kid to basically go kill themselves, pretty savage."
"Ikr, can't even imagine having parents with a sense of humour."
Shutting down the conversation.
"I'm a fan of saying 'Well, good luck with that then,' and walking away."
"I have a Welsh friend who's a teacher. If he has to deal with a difficult parent, he shuts the conversation down with a 'There We Are Then.'"
"It's like a subtler, more Welsh way of saying 'C U Next Tuesday.'"
"This makes me laugh because whenever my super passive-aggressive father says, 'There it is,' it means he doesn't agree but he doesn't want to say so."
- paingry
"I've used 'I believe we've exhausted the possibilities of this conversation,' with a few parents over the years."
Teachers have their own version.
"As a middle school teacher I find a simple 'that's nice' does the trick. You really gotta nail the delivery otherwise it doesn't work. Also 'ain't that just the way' is a great alternative to 'who gives a f*ck.'"
"That reminds me of the late great Alex Trebek. When he would give the contestant interviews, he wasn't always engaged with whatever story they would share. Like maybe the person would share some story about their cat or their boring hobby, and he would smile and say, 'Good for you!'"
"I remember he had one absolute burn where he told a contestant 'no, because I'm not a loser,' or something like that (when they asked if he liked xyz too)."
"I remember this haha. The contestant had been a 'nerdcore' rap enthusiast and apparently the lyrics usually reflect geeky stuff and forever alone type sh*t, and I think after she added that last part it makes sense that he said that."
"The Soup used to have a recurring segment about Jeopardy contestants with their lame stories and how Trebek reacted to them called 'Cool Story, Jeopardy Contestant.'"
Receiving feedback.
"I'll take that under advisement."
"I hate this response when I am trying to give genuine feedback to someone with whom I thought I had a good relationship. It makes me doubt the whole relationship, if they don't really want to hear what I have to say."
"Speaking of that word, I f*cking hate emails that say 'please advise,' but I have a hard time pin-pointing why. There's a guy at work that uses it like an email signature, every. single. f*cking. email. 'Want to get some pizza for lunch? Please advise.' 'Please go to hell! But yes, I'd like some pizza, sounds good. Thanks!'"
Business is business.
"'Thanks for that.'"
"It's also how I say it in meetings."
"If they're more important than me I say, 'Absolutely. Let's park that, I'll make a note and we can address that separately offline,' which is BusinessDouche for 'what you have said is supremely unimportant and I will ignore it.'"
"'BusinessDouche' is the perfect label for this kind of lingo. See also: 'boil the ocean; move the needle; put a pin in it.'"
Take notes people, because now you'll have some great come backs that wont get you in trouble.
But at the same time, remember when people use these on you. There might be some subtext you've been missing.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.