"What’s an excuse to get out of work that no one can get mad at?"
Any Excuse Is Better Than None
"As a manager as long as you let me know that you aren’t going to be able to work then we’re good."
"If you just don’t show up that’s a different story."- LF_redit
If You Say So Ok GIF by The GrinchGiphySay It, Don't Spray It...
"I got sprayed by a skunk."
"I tried to go to work after showering with Dawn dish soap but my boss told me to go home."
"So I’d say getting sprayed by a skunk."- Sunshine95454
Ultimately, Not A Pleasant Experience For Anyone...
"I worked construction, and two separate instances on two different crews, someone said they sh*t their pants."
"Nobody questioned it and they left."
"I do believe they did sh*t their pants tho so you have to commit."- allornothing26
"'I sh*t my pants'."
"Absolutely, 100%, understand."
"See you tomorrow."- Abadatha
year january GIFGiphyApparently Anything Regarding The Rear End...
“'Butthole is bleeding I can’t make it in'.”
"Not a single person will want to ask questions."
"You’re welcome."- Psychologystudent28
Oddly Impressive In This Day And Age... (Assuming It's True...)
"I called in to work and said I had scurvy."
"A couple hours later an FTD florist delivered a bonzi lemon tree from my boss."- HawkMisfit
Not So Much The What, But The When...
"The excuse doesn't matter it's the frequency."
'You need to be excused a couple of times a year?"
'No big deal."
'You're out every other week?"
'That's an issue."- Im_probably_naked
Netflix Seriously GIF by Stranger ThingsGiphyOr Better Yet, To A Hosptial!
"Me: hey I think I need to head home."
"Boss: Why’s that?
"Me: I think I broke my arm."
"I’m standing in front of my bosses desk with my arm turned completely backwards from the elbow down, was in total shock."- ssandhanitizer
Good Thing They Remembered To Call...
"Last time I called into work, it was a quick call."
“'Can’t make it in. Hit my head. Blood everywhere. Ambulance is on the way'.”
"That one worked pretty well."- bioVOLTAGE
Speechless Isn't Always Good...
"Guy at work phoned in to tell our boss he couldn’t make it in because he didn’t have no clean socks."
"Boss was speechless."- Tankclark1
Nbc GIF by The VoiceGiphyIf Only For Plumbing Issues...
"Diarrhea?"- menki_22
"I used to have a sh*tty office job."
"I once had severe diarrhea and my boss tried to get me to work from the bathroom, at the office."- adventurousorca
In a Post Pandemic World...
“'I’m sick'.”
"You don’t need more detail than that."- too_sexy_for_reddit
"Where I'm at Covid is still a mandatory out until a negative test."-azorianmilk
Test Virus GIF by Magician EdzusGiphyYou Can't Make This Stuff Up...
"Worked on a construction crew at one time with this one colorful character that just couldn't get out of bed and to work on time, but could do the work of two when he was on the job."
"He always had the most entertaining excuses for missing work that no one could be mad at him."
"'Ran over a rabbit and had to return home to put it in the freezer'." "
"'Scored some weed that was so good I forgot what day it was'."
"And the coup de grace...'Woke up with my face in my girlfriend's armpit and was afraid to open my eyes'."- eron6000ad
Family First
"Something wrong with your kid."
"I've honestly thought about making up a kid just so I have an airtight excuse to cut out as often as my parent coworkers do."- Yak-F**ker-5000
In truth, pretty much any excuse could probably work
What's more important, is an air-tight alibi...
Redditor sirdigbykittencaesar wanted to hear from the bosses of the world about the terminations they wish they could take back, so they asked:
"Bosses of Reddit, have you ever seriously regretted firing someone, and if so why?"
It must suck when you're duped into firing the wrong person and then you find out too late.
That Day
Kids In The Hall Comedy GIF by CBCGiphy"A long time ago I was asked to fire a salesman. He was kind, but not good at selling. It was a week before Christmas. I told my boss I would fire him on Jan 3. The boss said no and fired him that day. I regretted not giving him the holiday."
Tootalllewis
The Picker
"I had an assistant for about a year, who was a pretty good assistant for a difficult working situation. My boss, the district manager, hated him, though. She kept trying to catch him screwing up when I wasn't around. The trouble was, the company paid poorly, so talent was hard to come by, training was difficult, and the hours were 48 a week MINIMUM. This guy was the only assistant I had who didn't quit in less than a year."
"My stores were so undermanned, if this guy left, I'd be working 80-hour weeks like before I got him. The only reason it wasn't more than 80 hours was because the store's malls or shopping centers actually closed at night."
"Finally, one day, she wrote him up because she said 'a secret shopper' said he was picking his nose. This guy, who at least had SOME dignity, refused to sign the disciplinary paperwork. 'I want proof: I am not sitting in the showroom, picking my nose.' My boss said, 'he won't sign it, insubordination.'"
"'Fire him.' I really tried to reason with her, but she wanted him gone one way or another. 'Either you fire him, or I'll come in and fire both of you.'"
"I had to fire a man for picking his nose. I quit shortly after that because I knew this was just the lowest I had ever sunk in management. I still feel bad about all that."
punkwalrus
This Guy
"Years ago I got a call from a competing engineering company. They screwed up a job and rather than own up, decided to blame a senior technologist as the scapegoat. His immediate boss was against it but the partners demanded it. He phoned us and said 'You should hire this guy.'"
"We did and he was an excellent employee until he retired 20 years later. Our gain, their loss."
"The best part is that the guy who called me (who was a senior engineer) quit shortly thereafter and the company closed down a couple of years later - Karma I guess."
somewhat_random
The Team Member
"Someone else hired someone with no experience after I voted 'no.' I knew he would be in over his head and he had a good job already. They didn't train him or coach him. And then after about 6 months my boss's boss comes to me and tells me to build a case against him... my team member... and to fire him."
"I quit within the next two months. F them... I'm not doing their dirty work to solve a problem they caused and enable them to keep their hands clean in the process."
AdUnfair3836
It's just a puff...
4-20 Weed GIFGiphy"I was once forced to fire an awesome employee for failing a drug test (weed). And just a few years later it was legalized."
PsiOryx
When will we just let people smoke freely?
Bad Vibes
Duck Reaction GIF by PLAYMOBILGiphy"I had to fire someone on my actual last day once. And right beforehand, everyone was making a joke about the person I fired getting fired. That sucked. Not a good vibes last day at all."
backyardvegas
Terror
"I had an employee about 4 years ago now who had chronic attendance issues. I kept her MUCH longer than my boss was happy with because she was decent and very genuine. But eventually, I just couldn't put it off anymore. When we were in the room talking she burst into tears and looked terrified and told me her husband was NOT going to be happy with her. She said he wouldn't hurt her and she didn't need me to call the police for her, but even still I'm worried he was physically abusive. The level of terror was up there."
AlisonChained
Merry Christmas
"About 20 years ago I was running a bar Christmas Eve - chaotic night as we were incredibly short-staffed due to heavy snow and a lot of our workers being from a different area. Bar downstairs was closing up and the staff was being moved to the upstairs. We were £200 short in the bar and the main manager interrogated three out of the four - conveniently not the supervisor he was having an affair with."
"That supervisor was also in charge of the float and was generally sh*t at her job. That float for one until was convenient £200."
"Main boss wouldn't consider his fling could do wrong (a common occurrence) and he didn't want to deal with it. So it became me (the lowest of four managers) to sack three people for suspected theft. On Christmas Eve knowing I wasn't in any position financially or in terms of job security to say no."
"Only joy was that his wife finally caught him in the affair and his whole life went to sh*t soon after."
geekhalla
Regrets
"I was forced to fire a junior person on my team, my boss gave me no choice, because she had used a competitor's idea as inspiration (working in design). But it was our intermediary boss who told her to use the idea. I wish I would have taken a harder stand but I was afraid of being fired myself, I was only a few months on the job. I still regret it to this day but the other woman has had a good career so that’s a plus at least."
Keyspam102
Awful
"Had an underperforming employee, tried a pip, coaching, moving to a different job role with the team. Eventually came to terms with not being the right person for the job/team terminated employee. A week later her child dies in a house fire where they lost everything. I donated 1000 to the go find me but still can’t help but wonder if my termination set off the events that caused this."
smallboxofcrayons
Phony
That Is All Meryl Streep GIFGiphy"Nope. There's a long process before it gets to that point and almost nobody does get to that point. Except for the guy who got the job using fake identity papers. There was no long process to fire him, it went very, very fast once we found out."
AdmiralBofa
I hated firing people.
There is never a great time.
Redditor WielderOfTheSpear wanted to hear from people rethinking it all. So they asked everyone:
"What's one moment you found yourself asking yourself 'What the hell am I doing with my life?'"
I wonder about my life choices everyday.
Tell me I'm not alone.
Trash
kyle mooney trash GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"When i had to move several bags of trash out of my shower so i could clean myself, only there wasn’t really any space to put them because... more trash bags. granted i was living in a really tiny space, but this was the moment i stopped and really had to think for a moment. started on antidepressants a couple months later."
Standard-Guarantee94
"When I pawned my wedding ring to buy more pain pills. That particular incident actually got me to go get help. Been clean 11 years now and got my ring back a few months later. As sh*tty as that incident was, I needed that, and it probably saved my life. Addiction sucks so bad."
1980pzx
Exhausted
"I was working nights, going to college days, and socializing and sleeping at... ummm... huh. Got so exhausted I was hallucinating while driving. Finally snapped when I realized I had to go to work again and hadn't slept since the last time I had to go to work and was breaking down physically and mentally."
"F**k this, went to bed and slept 2 days. And since 2 no-call no-shows was a fireable offence, I was now blissfully unemployed."
Amish_Cyberbully
Empty
"Ordered 2 large pizzas and ate through both while sitting in bed. Literally no dopamine hit from any bite. Decided that food no longer gave me pleasure and from there I lost 115lbs."
"I also wanna paint a picture of how pathetic this was. I brought both pizzas to bed. Not slices, no plates. I ate them straight outta the box. And no bite tasted good. It was just an empty feeling of sadness. And I stained my sheets."
Autumnlove92
HOME
"When i realized i am the only one complaining about life and regrets to my friends. I feel that I have been in the same place for a long time and still expect things to be the same way as they were long ago."
"I think i tricked myself into believing that everything in life will fall into place at the right time whereas nothing even remotely similar to this has ever happened."
"I am afraid of being known as the guy who never left his parent's house. Who always lived in the shadow of other people just to survive."
MagnateNSFW
Oh life, full of the drama.
Travel Issues
Giphy"I cried in an airport because my flight home got cancelled. Had a traveling job where I was gone at least 1 week a month and it was making me depressed and anxious."
"A nice lady gave me a hug and thought a family member died or something. Then she told me to quit my job."
serafel
Looking
"A former colleague of mine left the company and is making at least 50% more pay, along with equity and a full WFH situation. We had both been with the company about the same amount of time at that point, but I have six more years of experience. I'm looking for a job now."
"But, to be fair, my income is well above average already. It's just that I'm in a very high-demand career in which you don't even have to be the best of the best of the best (sir!) to command high salaries."
Buckus93
Most of my Life
"It’s most days honestly but most recently when looking into buying a house. The advice was to make sure you are good with being there at least five years before wanting to move or it’s a bad decision and it got me thinking about my job and social situation and all that. Basically it came down to I don’t even want to be here tomorrow but I’m sort of ok with it and I realized that describes most of my life, I don’t really like it but I can put up with it."
Eternal_Bagel
August 2021...
"When my boyfriend at the time was in the kitchen arguing with the woman whom he was currently cheating on me with... I was literally in between them as they were about to physically attack one another."
"This happened in August 2021, 3 days before my birthday. That same day he kicked me out of our home because I 'brought problems to the house' with just the clothes on my back."
"I lived in my car for about 2 weeks because I was too proud and embarrassed to go to my parents. Eventually, I went back to mom and dad's and 2 months later I got my own place and had it furnished with a stool and my bed."
"By August 2022, my apartment is fully furnished, I had gotten a promotion with better pay and hours, I traveled, saw some pretty awesome concerts, but most importantly I learned to love myself again and learned how to live w/o the anxiety of putting someone before me and worrying if I was doing too much or not enough."
Any_Bus9336
Burnout
Giphy"Now, as I'm struggling to finish my PhD. The mental health burden and burnout is so bad that I've cried while doing my tasks more times than I can count, it doesn't really increase my employability... honestly I don't know why I'm doing this."
synesthesiaghost
Life will be what we make of it.
Choose wisely. And it's okay to choose another path upon reflection!
Do you have similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
I feel like this article can go on forever. Let's get some highlights.
Wasted Time
Nbc Im Done GIF by SuperstoreGiphy"Meetings that could and should have been an email."
Sirena609
Lotto People
"Getting stuck behind people playing the lottery at a corner store."
thenuggetlover
"I also used to work in a gas station and you’re SO right. I f**king hated the lottery people. Especially since my store had a small staff and there was usually only one of us working at a time, which meant that I couldn’t get any of my other work done as long as they were there."
"And you’re right, it’s also pretty sad to watch. I had one lady who used to come in every day and spent hundreds and HUNDREDS of dollars on scratch tickets. One day, she won $200 after spending probably around $600 and she was so excited and saying she can 'finally pay her bills.'"
i-am-your-god-now
Aware...
"No situational awareness. Job, home, shopping, driving. Think for one minute and go about. OBSERVE!!"
Dizzy-Foundation8122
"My mom is one of those people who leave the shopping cart in the middle of the damn aisle and proceed to walk twenty feet away. After correcting her a million times to no effect I just walk away now so people don’t know I’m with her."
OutrageousEvent
Shut Up!
"Endless barking in the middle of the night, I love animals but that sh*t I can't stand."
Acceptable-Lemon2924
"Endless barking in general drives me up a wall. One of my friends dogs was barking almost an entire gaming session the other day. I wanted to reach through the computer and smack him for letting it go on."
bangersnmash13
Kindness
customer service waiter GIFGiphy"People being mean to service workers, especially if the workers are very young."'
scaryboilednoodles
All of these things. I hate them all.
Admit It
Admit It Tell The Truth GIF by TV LandGiphy"People who never accept fault when they mess something up. Like, why blame a million people when it was clearly you who did it???"
Quirky-Area-8978
From Above
"My upstairs neighbors."
lutzow89
"I had terrible neighbors at my previous apartment. It was a one person studio for students, but her boyfriend was clearly living with her illegally and he was loud."
"One night we knocked n the door at 3 AM because of the loud music and an unknown girl opened the door. I just thought they were having a little party. But the next door I saw the girl living there come home with a suitcase after having been away for the weekend... Her BF was cheating on her in her own apartment."
Th3_Accountant
Move Away
"People who sit directly next to me at the airport, movie theater, any other place where you can choose a seat when there is PLENTY of other seating."
BacardiPardy33
"I can’t YES this enough and the ones who can’t park for crap so they park so close you can’t open doors on one side of the car or the ones who park directly behind when you pulled through so the door won’t open to load groceries."
BacardiPardy33
It's Over
"People who try to restart old drama. Like I'm done with you, just leave me alone."
Tired_Potatos
"Yep, half the reason I've basically quit playing one of my favorite online video games. People keep bringing old crap up or sh*tting on on someone who used to be our friend. I got tired of it so I just ejected the game out of me."
CaucasianHumus
AHHHHH!!!
move leading GIFGiphy"People walking too slow in front of me with no way to get around them. It’s even worse if it’s a couple or group taking up the whole sidewalk. HAVE SOME SPATIAL AWARENESS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!"
_-v0x-_
'Did I ask?'
"People who bother you for fun."
NuLL-nerd
"This is literally one of my coworkers. My job is to keep up the printers and make PowerPoints basically, and this coworker keeps trying to rush me to make his power point faster. Doesn't matter how many times i tell him that he should send in the request sooner instead of waiting for the last second he doesn't listen and says'Did I ask?' in this 'tough' guy tone."
GreenMilkIsFresh
Classic
"When someone apologized for an action but never actually changes their behavior THEN they get pissy when you 'bring up the past.' Honey, if it’s still happening, it’s the f**king present."
itisoptional
"Classic narcissistic behavior. If someone decides that the problem with your relationship is that you won't suddenly decide to be okay with their bulls**t... Run away."
woodcoffeecup
Hurry Up!
"People who take their sweet a** time trying to find their wallet/card in their purses/pockets/whatever after standing in line and waiting their turn. Ffs, why can't they find that crap and have it in hand when they get to the counter and place their order."
MissConduct0120
"This and also people who wait in a long line but don’t look at the menu until they’re at the counter. COME TF ON! You had 15 minutes to figure out your order."
D-Will11
Oh Shut Up!
trucks 4x4 GIF by Off The JacksGiphy"Diesel pickups blowing coal and making extra loud noises with whistling turbos and noisy waste gates. Also my neighbors that treat their property like it’s the dump."
Mendo-D
Speed Up!
"Crazy slow drivers, we all have places to be."
S0larSc0pe
"I was thinking this yesterday because there was a slow driver on the other side of the road causing the other to overtake. Meant someone nearly crashed into me and as much as that person was a d**khead, I thought if that person had just been doing the damn speed limit nobody would be dangerously overtaking."
OwnAdministration918
I just don’t want to...
"Being accused of things that goes completely against my character. Having to repeat myself more than 3 times."
JamesMattDillon
"If I have already said something, and have then repeated it, if someone makes me say it to them a third time, I am just so irrationally angry I will 100% give snotty attitude when I say it. I could probably work on that… I just don’t want to. F**king listen, and I wouldn’t have a problem."
winterfoxes
They all suck...
friends selfie GIF by Girlys BlogGiphy"Instagram influencers."
g01drush
"Any type of social media influencers at that. They all suck. At least in my eyes they do."
Meengreenpeenmashine
A Hard No!
"Any sort of animal abuse."
Slackerina
"Along those lines, people who use their animals for protection by keeping them aggressive. So many pitbull attacks in my damn town… nothing against pits, just the people in dangerous areas in my city tend to buy them and use them as a weapon. Both depressing and infuriating."
ForeverKeet
Oh Dumb!
"Stupid people, majority of things are just common sense, but for stupid people it’s not. We have daily work meetings and the same two to three people ask the same f**king idiotic questions daily and each times it’s answered in a clear concise manner and the rest of the team know and understand but these three wastes of oxygen don’t grasp it."
Weary_Violinist_3610
Life in general pisses me off. I'm easy.
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Curious to hear examples of what sets people off, Redditor Obese-Feline asked:
"What is a small insignificant thing that makes you really mad?"
New tech can be very cool, but sometimes, our lives can be complicated because of it.
Password Fail
"My password failing 3x, the site requiring me to create a new password, and then when I choose the password I just tried, the site says I 'can't use the current password.'"
"Infuriating."
– AtheneSchmidt
Tricky Ads
"When you’re trying to click something on a webpage and an ad pops up between the moment your brain tells your thumb to apply pressure and your finger touches the screen."
– Uniqueisha
"When the ads on a YouTube video don't buffer but the actual video does."
– GengarIsLife
Bathroom Ineptitude
"Showers with confusing hot/cold handles. Automatic bathroom faucets that dont register your hand/motion."
– Latter-Ad6779
Conditional Environmentalism
"In the same vein - when bathrooms only have those disgusting air hand dryers that don’t even dry your hands. They’re so unsanitary. And then you have to touch the bathroom door handle with wet hands."
"Businesses will be so wasteful and not give a single f'k about the environment in any other way, but suddenly when it comes to providing paper towels to dry your hands, they’re all save the trees."
– KATEWM
The Auto-Preview
"Netflix...the way it just starts playing the preview or clip of whatever's on the screen. I don't know why but it irritates the hell out of me. I just want to browse in peace."
– ethottly
Our negligence can humble us right quick.
Caught Unawares
"When I walk past a door and my belt loop or clothing gets caught on the handle."
"1-100 real quick."
– GSG_2022
Wrong Pipe
"Taking a sip of water and choking on it. The next 2 hours of coughing and clearing my throat are just MAGICAL."
– AuroraMeridian
The Detour
"Leaving work only wanting to go home, and noticing I have to spend extra time getting gas."
– BrandanMentch
The things others do can be a real pet peeve.
Thanks For The Signal. Or Not
"people not using turn signals."
– Rainn_boww13
"Just 15 minutes ago I was impressed that a cab driver used his left signal at a 4-way stop so I figured I could cross safely on my side of the street."
"Naw, he just drove straight through and nearly hit me, not making any use of his left turn signal."
– Prize_Guest
Grocery Parking Etiquette
"When someone parks next to the grocery cart return area but doesn't put up their grocery cart."
"I'm like, two more steps and one small push and you're literally done with the cart. I don't get it."
– Twisted_NaeNae
Annoying Favors
"Someone telling me to do something when I was just about to do it. It’s childish but it pisses me off so much lol."
– rapey_chef
I can't stand it when people willingly do the things that annoy them.
Like boarding the subway before commuters get off at their stop. They'll block the doorway to give themselves the advantage of getting a seat on the train.
When I'm in a rush and a pathway isn't open for me and the stream of other straphangers also rushing to debark behind me, I'm this close to using my elbow instead of my voice to warn door guards to clear the way.
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