In light of Donald Trump's recent decision to ban federal money going to international groups to perform or provide information on abortions, women from around the globe have come together to share their experiences of abortion, and why it was important to have access to information and safe practices.
1. I had one last year. I can't tell you the amount of women that were like "You will regret this", "You will feel a guilt inside of you for the rest of your life", etcetera. I didn't feel this way. I knew what was best for me, and it wasn't a child. Couldn't afford one, still in college, the dude wasn't even my boyfriend. Immediately afterwards, honestly, I felt relieved. I still feel relieved and thankful that we have the technology to safely terminate pregnancies.
2. Relieved. Sad. Years later- Relieved. I am glad I did not have to have my rapist's child.
3. 5 years ago, on December 14, 2011, I had an abortion. I was 17-years-old. I had been with my ex for two years then and still had one year left in high school. I had already doubts about our relationship, it was definitely not on a solid base. And before anyone attacks: I was on the pill. I took them the way you should. Even people refuse to accept this, it is possible to get pregnant even if you are on the pill. Rare, but possible. My doctor later had theories like on how I was sick could have effected that.
About the actual abortion: I feel nothing else but extremely strong relief, and extreme gratitude that I live in a country that respects women's reproductive rights. When I had he procedure done, I felt absolutely nothing. I was happy I was in safe, capable medical expert's hands, I was happy my nightmare would be over and I could go on with the life I deserve.
Here is one thing I will regret immensely, and what I am still traumatized to this day: Telling my boyfriend and him telling his mother.
Here's it the story, I apologize if it is going to be long and for the bad English (non-native), but it feels good to open up about this.
The moment I found out I was pregnant, it was without no doubt the most overwhelmingly... I can't find the right word, but somewhat disgusting feeling. I felt immediately trapped, I felt my life was over no matter what I would do, that there would be no turning back from now on and this was my future from now on. If you are a man and can't relate: think about finding out your body has failed you and developed a gross tumor. Every day that tumor eats your body more, changing everything from your bone structure to the shape of your body. Its nutrition is your hopes and dreams you ever had for your life. But the nightmare doesn't change after 9 months, you are trapped for life. You are supposed to sacrifice your health, savings, education, everything for that tumor. The worst part is that people around you (people you don't even know) are telling you that tumor is a huge blessing and you should accept your part because it is your "part". The funniest thing is that the people shaming you for not loving the tumor are the same ones that will shame you if (when) you end up being a single mother and living on welfare. You don't exist, you exist to give birth to that tumor. But even when you throw away your life for that tumor, you are still a joke and overlooked by the society (please people, don't give me some shit how single teenage mothers are somehow respected). You are a woman, you had sex, you must be punished for it.
I didn't have a problem getting rid of the fetus. I felt absolutely nothing but sheer terror of the idea I would have to push that out and take care of it. What I did have a problem with and still have, is that I told my boyfriend about this. First he was lukewarm and quite supporting about getting an abortion. He did have some irrational "just pop it out and let's get married"-talks before, but nothing we couldn't work out by talking. Then he told his mother. All hell break loose.
A controlling, abusive mother with a serious alcohol problem decided I was going to keep the baby. First it was quite normal, actually she was acting quite caring. I went to my boyfriend's house and her mom wanted to talk with me. We had a nice (but she was still quite pushing) talk where she told me they would do everything in their power to make sure this baby had a good life. She told me she was excited for my pregnancy, that she loved me and trusted me to do the right decision... I told her I had decided not to have to child and she was upset but quite respectful.
Well, that doesn't stop there. Suddenly my boyfriend has decided he wants nothing more than be a dad. (Continued)
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We have a huge fight where he uses words like "my child", "killing" and "murder" a lot. Her mom starts texting me weird things, like how she bought a pair of tiny sunglasses for her "grandson" (no, we didn't know the sex of course). Then it started getting really bad. I went to their house and there she was, waiting on the living room with some kind of religious lady and a priest. They offered me cookies and tea, and told me that I will go to hell if I abort this baby.
I am not religious. My boyfriend was not religious. Her mother had not once expressed any kind of tendency to be religious.
I got home and cried that night. After that, it got really bad. She started harassing me with calls and texts, but boyfriend told our group of friends, they both were attacking me like there was no tomorrow. I panicked, clammed up and didn't even make any doctor reservations because I was so stressed out I started to absurdly wish this would all go away and I wouldn't have to take their hate if I did this. I started to have ideas that maybe I would go to hell if I did this, maybe I would get infertile if I did this, maybe I would go insane and regret my whole life if I did this.
The situation finally changed when my lovely school counselor found me crying in a classroom. She got me to the school nurse who called my mother and we told her everything. I hadn't told her before that because I felt too ashamed to reach out to anyone, somehow I was convinced she would hate me too, even though I knew otherwise. My mother was furious. I have never seen her so angry. She had noticed I had changed, but didn't know what was going on.
They made my ex's mother to stop. She was threatened with cops if she would still contact me. I finally broke up with my ex-boyfriend, something I should have done a long, long time ago before that, way before getting pregnant. He was an irresponsible, selfish and lazy human being, who smoked pot like there was no tomorrow and skipped school. I actually just deleted him from my facebook friends, because just seeing his wall was too much. He hasn't changed tiniest bit from high school. He hasn't done ANYTHING after the school ended. No school, no work, nada.
I, on the other hand, am going to get my masters in the fall of 2018. I have already started to work on my field. I enjoy it immensely. I have dated a really good man for three years now. He is the kindest, sweetest, most trustworthy human being there is on this planet earth. I wouldn't have met him if I had stayed home with the baby, because I wouldn't have started university the same time. Even if we had met, he wouldn't have dated me if I had a child, just like I was (am) not interested to play mommy to single fathers in my early twenties. He knows about my abortion, we talk about everything. We have talked marriage and kids, there couldn't be a better father to my future child(ren). In short, everything in my life would be so much worse if I was a mother right now.
4. My answer is a bit different because my abortion was done to save my life.
I was pregnant and thought I had a very obvious miscarriage (scans showed no baby) but it turns out the baby actually (Continued)
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the baby actually got stuck in one of my tubes [it was ectopic] and had managed to go undetected long enough to rupture my tube and I was slowly bleeding out on the inside.
It was still alive but yeah... I had to get emergency surgery and to be honest not having a choice really messed with me.
5. Intense fear
Is this the right decision?
Can it feel it?
Am i a monster?
Ok, it's happening
That was irreversible
Man, im hungry
....in terms of immediate after, you feel empty (?) For a few days. Your hormones get confused. You're tired from the anesthetic. You cry because the experience sucked and y'know, hormones.
3 years later I'm confident I made the right decision but I often trail off into thought about what could have been and feel a strange pang of guilt. Its different for all women I think.
6. I was 19. I was on meth, the bf was on meth and incredibly abusive toward me, and I had been kicked out of my parent's house. After I told my mom I had just found out I was pregnant, she let me come home. I agonized over the decision to terminate the pregnancy. When he told me he wanted me to keep it, that's when I began to see things clearly. What would stop him from abusing me in front of the child? How long would it take before he abuses the child? Would I even make it through the pregnancy unharmed? I was young and naive and high and thought that maybe he would change and become a great bf and father. Then I laughed at myself for even entertaining that idea and began to focus on cold hard facts. I was hooked on meth. I had been using regularly throughout the pregnancy and had no way of knowing what kind of damage I had caused. That was the deciding factor. Nothing about my circumstances was good for a child. I had the abortion and today, 16 years later, I know that was the best and wisest decision I could have made for myself at that time. It took another 6 years before I finally kicked the shit for good and I still believe I made the right decision to terminate.
Immediately afterwards I felt awful and ashamed. That lasted a few weeks. I believe the ex and the meth largely contributed to that shame I felt. Then the relief hit me. And that feeling never changed. I am still relieved that I was able to see beyond me and make the right choice.
7. It was the best choice for me! I got pregnant after dating a guy for one month. I was freaking out because I had been accepted into a challenging health sciences program and there was no way I wanted to give that up to raise a baby. At the time I had no resources to raise a baby and I did not want to be tied down to more or less of a stranger. I have never felt guilty about the decision or like I did the wrong thing. If I could of financially cared for it and I had a better living situation than I may of felt differently.
When I first found out I told the guy and we made an appointment to go to "pregnancy help center." Basically, they tried to make me feel like a terrible person and like I was Satan in the flesh. They also tried to convince to me accept Jesus into my heart. That place attempted to instill more guilt than anywhere I've ever been. They called me off and on for a year after I had the procedure done. They claimed to just want to check up and to see if I wanted to join any of their group..
If you feel 100% about your choice then no one can change it or make you feel differently. Educate yourself and make the best choice for you and only you.
8. I am twenty years old and I got an abortion in August 2011. I am not proud of what I did.
My best friend of two and a half years and I had always had some sort of romantic friction between us because we had sex right after we first met. We decided to keep it platonic after that because we got along too well, but I always loved him. I introduced him to one of my best friends after some time and they ended up together for two years.
Well, they broke up and we wound up together. It was bound to happen. We ended up homeless that summer (we did a lot of drugs and his mom wasn't having it) so we literally spent two months at each others' sides. We were never apart unless we were using the bathroom. Our hardcore, jaded friendship romance was smoldering at this point, we were always having sex because it was all we had... We sure as hell didn't have any condoms, but of course we weren't thinking.
He broke up with me the day after his grandmother died. Tried to play it off like her death was heartbreak warfare for his emotions. He couldn't 'take' the thought of hurting me. Then he went back to his ex, the girl that was once my best friend.
When I found out I was pregnant, the world just sort of stopped... (Continued)
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I mean, there I was, nineteen years old, barely graduated high school, never been able to keep a job, DUI at seventeen, basically a failure as a human being. Now I was pregnant with the child of the one person that I simply could never let go, and he had just broken it off. Out of nowhere. To get back with the girl I introduced him to in the first place. After everything that we'd been through and everything that he said. Left high and dry by the man I'd held closer than anyone else for so long.
My dad told me that he would pay for me to get an abortion if it came down to it and I couldn't handle being pregnant. It wasn't cruel, my dad is an incredibly intelligent man and his ideas are always within reason. He has watched me be this screw-up of an individual for my entire life, he knows what having a kid could do to me.
There were so many pressing concerns about what my being pregnant meant. My first greatest concern was my mother. She is my rock, she is an incredible human being and she is also extremely depressed. Ever since her oldest sister passed away in 2004, she has been in pain. When I started drinking and doing drugs, she saw her sister's behavior in me. It broke her apart and she began to worry about me constantly, to the point that she started drinking. If she found out that I was pregnant, she would drink herself to death. It sounds completely illogical, but you do not know my mother.
My next concern was my drug use. I'd already used so many drugs and drank plenty of alcohol over the entire period of time that I'd been pregnant. Even if I had gone with my first option, which was to put it up for adoption to a nice gay couple, that poor couple could have ended up with a baby suffering from countless [insert endless health problems here]...
Obviously my last concern was the pain of carrying the child of the guy that made me absolutely miserable. I could have put those feelings aside, however, had the other issues not already been present. I made my decision.
My dad brought me to the clinic and what took place there was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I couldn't afford to get any sort of anesthesia, just some sort of 'numbing spray' that wasn't effective for anything at all. I won't go into details, but it was bad. It hurt, and you can hear everything. No matter how many times people remind you that it's just a medical procedure, it's not truly a sentient thing yet, it doesn't matter. It's easy to walk out of there thinking about who that person could have been. I've made peace with it, but I have never forgotten and I never will.
9. I had one when I was 14. I felt relieved. Now I feel thankful, but most of the time it just doesn't even cross my mind.
10. I'm a very nurturing mom of two children. I did not have the resources to have a third, so I had an abortion very early in the pregnancy. Zero regrets right afterwards and still no regrets 8 years later.
11. 1969 - had to travel to UK to get one where I had some relatives for a support network. The father was an idiot who would have ruined my life if I had been tied to him with a child forever.
Best decision ever. No regrets then; no regrets now.
13. Completely devastated, angry, and guilty. I would've been due for birth next month. I feel reminiscent about something I've never even have. But it was for the better. Didn't want to be a young, single mother. Also, my parents were both adopted so I have a strong stance on adoption, instead of bringing a new life into the world... so I knew I couldn't have the baby and I still feel the same way now.
My parents don't know about it... My brother wanted to find and beat up my (Continued)
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unsupportive (ex)boyfriend for leaving me for his ex and being absent in this situation... My sister freaked out about how I could commit such a sin, but still comforted me nevertheless.
I couldn't have the baby and give them away because I've seen way too many foster kids in horrible situations, so there was no way I was going to give birth only to potentially set a child up for a life like that.
14. I come from a country where abortions are illegal so I had to fly to my SO's country in Europe to get it done. Immediately after while still drugged, I felt relieved but immense sadness that I had to go through it because circumstances meant I could not care for a baby. But after a few days I no longer feel sad because we both felt it was the right thing to do. Now, I rarely think about it but when I do, it still is sad but it doesn't sting anymore.
Best decision I've ever made.
16. I had an abortion in 1986. I felt relieved afterward. Relieved and happy. I was able to finish college and continue on with the rest of my life.
17. I just recently had my first and, hopefully only, abortion. I am 22 years old, I have a 3 year old son. My boyfriend and I got pregnant purely by accident. When I was pregnant with my son I had kidney stones literally the whole 9 months. I spent 10 day stints in the hospital. It was extremely painful and uncomfortable. I am still currently going threw kidney problems. My doctors told me after I had my son that if I were to get pregnant before everything was completely solved with my kidneys I could have serious health problems. I NEVER in my entire life thought I would have an abortion. It has nothing to do with religious beliefs or what anyone thinks of me. It has always just been a personal thing for me. It was an extremely difficult decision, and thank god I had my boyfriend, best friend and family by my side to help. I was only 6 weeks along. I guess when I went in to have it done, I detached myself from the whole situation. I've been in and out of doctors offices and have had procedures done for 10 years now. I just put it in my mind that I was just getting another kidney procedure done. It was the only way I was able to actually go threw with it. I still think about it, and it still bothers me almost everyday. I had no choice in the matter. It was for my health and for my 3 year old son. I couldn't risk anything happening to me and not being there for him. So yeah, that's my story.
18. I was in an abusive relationship physically and emotionally. Went to the hospital I thought I had the flu, but they informed me I was pregnant. I called and called him from the hospital to tell him the "good" news, no answer. I thought a baby would make him change his ways and we could be a happy family but (Continued)
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I didn't hear from him for 24 hours after I had finally texted him that I was pregnant. He came home the next day and I smiled and told him again, in case he didn't get the text and he responded "who you been sleeping with I know it ain't mine!" Pushed me on the coffee table and walked right back out of the door. I took $2,000 that he had stashed in the closet, got myself a hotel room and made an appointment for an abortion the next day. There were about fifteen other women at the clinic, I just felt numb like this is what I have to do. So they had me take a pill right there and also gave me a pill to take home and take. (I was 7 weeks along.) I got back to my hotel room and took the pill a few hours later. I started having severe cramps and so much bleeding and blood clots coming out. I cried for 4 hours straight until I fell asleep. I felt so ashamed and alone at the time. But the next day I was fine physically, I got on the Greyhound bus and went back to my hometown. Now when I think about it I think it was the best decision I could have made, as well as getting away from that jerk.
19. I'm one of those older women who had a surprise pregnancy right after my 3rd and youngest child turned 18. I knew right away I couldn't do it again - I'd be 63 when this one turned 18, which was the age my mother died, and her mother as well (my grandmother). I'd been a mother literally all my adult life, having had my first when 17. My SO isn't in the best of health either. It was an easy decision to make together.
Right after, because of hormones and all, I was a little upset - it struck me it was "last chance" and I didn't take the chance. In the next week we dropped off the youngest kid to college, and I was experiencing the empty nest for the first time ever. It made it a bit difficult... but then the hormones backed off and we could appreciate the house to ourselves...within a month I definitely felt all the relief I still feel.
20. I was annoyed that my contraceptive method failed. And then I was happy because me and boyfriend went to get doughnuts afterwards.
21. I got pregnant at 20, from a boyfriend who I was 100% sure I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life with, but didn't hate enough to break up just yet. I lived with him. I used the pill, but not consistently as I should have. I missed a few days here or there, just absentmindedly forgetting. We were together for almost 3 years by then, and I never had any even a few day late periods. I figured I was doing okay.
I was in my first year of a good apprenticeship for a construction trade. The kind of apprenticeship where it is going to be your career. I couldn't even work after a few months of pregnancy because of the environment alone. Machines, exhaust, concrete dust, etc. Not just having a baby, but being pregnant alone would ruin my job opportunity. I was a week late and freaked out. Took 3 pregnancy tests and all were positive. I didn't even think.
It was like my body hit cruise control. I stopped crying and looked online for the closest center that did terminations. Found one really close and called and set up a procedure for that weekend. Everyone looked distraught and I felt like an evil freak for being happy. They were going to fix my problem instantly! Did my ultrasound, they had me talk to a counselor. I said "get it out". And procedure was done.
I was never so relieved in my life. My life was not over. Even if I gave a child up for adoption, that would require me blowing my job, plus everyone I know would know. Hardly anyone knows even that I was pregnant, minus my sister, my ex, and my husband now because I tell him everything. I would be mortified if my parents knew. I haven't thought twice about it, and not an ounce of sadness really. Not to say I didn't understand the severity, just that I was no (continued)
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I was no more than 6 weeks. That's not a baby to me. I asked them if I could ever have kids, they said it absolutely doesn't affect that at all.
I have an alarm on my phone and take my pill every day at noon. I haven't missed it once in probably 3 years, except once where I forgot them at home and took it a few hours later instead. (Note:I'm not 23, I just broke up with ex and wasn't having any sex for a long while, I'm much closer to 30 than 20) I am now married to an amazing man. If I got pregnant tomorrow, I'd keep it. I am at a happier place in my life with less pressure and uncertainty with money/jobs/boyfriends. I want kids. Just not now.
100% best decision I ever made.
22. I miscarried before my abortion...I was ready to be without a child, but I wasn't ready for the emotional backlash. It was horrible. I felt so alone.
23. I was euphoric. Hear me out: I was 17 and had just escaped an abusive relationship with a much older man. I was still dealing with his harassment when I found out I was pregnant. If I had his child I'd never be free of him. My first thought was suicide. When I stopped panicking, I made the appointment. Some might ask why I just didn't opt for adoption. He would never sign away his child. I couldn't hide a pregnancy because he'd find out.
During the procedure: Scared. I drove myself, so I couldn't have the sedative, only the local. But the PP nurses held my hands and told me it was okay to cry.
After: I felt incredible. For the first time in months I could breathe. My ex was hardline anti abortion, and I knew he'd never speak to me again once he knew. And he didn't. The harassment stopped. It was like I had a new lease on life.
Now: I don't think about it often, and it's still a relief when I do. It is my belief that my child waited for me to give her a better father. I know that both of our lives are a thousand times better than they would have been had i had her with my ex. Honestly, I doubt I would have survived to the end of the pregnancy.
24. I had one when I was 22, so about 13 years ago. It was actually covered under my moms insurance. No one knew, and no one knows now. Except my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time. It was incredibly difficult and the entire experience changed me forever. It was done at a clinic and I just remember waiting in the waiting room filled with girls that all had the same look on their face that I did. We didn't want to look each other in the eye, I can still close my eyes and remember the flooring because that's all I could look at. I didn't want to look at another girl, not necessarily because I was ashamed, but because I couldn't muster seeing another girl with the same look on her face. It was too hard. I knew I loved my boyfriend, and I knew that he was going to be my husband someday. I was certain of that. So it was kind of hard for me to tell myself that why I was about to do was ok. Even though I knew that there was no way I could handle a child at that point in my life, and we wouldn't have been able to give that child the life he or she deserved. I knew I was doing the best thing, but I think I still needed to convince myself that I was doing the right thing. I was called back to a room, my boyfriend couldn't come with me. Then I was told to lie down on the bed. I lied down and they got the ultrasound machine out, lifted my shirt and put the jelly on my stomach. They purposely put the machine behind my head so I couldn't see the image, but the volume wasn't down so I heard the heartbeat. I heard it and it fucking broke me. The nurse and doctor knew that they fucked up and took the wand away as fast as they could, but I still heard it. And I lost it. Instantly started crying, so badly that they had to stop and leave the room. They left me there alone for, what seemed like forever. I was questioning everything, my brain was going a million miles a minute. And I was hysterical but I knew that I still needed to go through with the abortion. So they came back and very dryly just explained what was going to happen. I lied back down, they put an IV in and I was asleep before I knew it.
I woke up very groggily in a giant room lined with big fluffy recovery recliners filled with girls. Some were awake, some were still out. I remember looking around and seeing the girls that were awake and their eyes were just dead. We all looked fucking exhausted and worn out. I was still deeply, deeply sad but I couldn't cry. I was still loopy and groggy from the anesthesia. There was one girl that was crying and I just wanted to hug her. I wanted to hug all these girls, we had all just been through the same thing, and I wanted to help them through it. I wanted them to help me through it. But we all just stared at each other while dozing in and out. The next thing I remember was waking up in my boyfriends bed. I got up, went to the bathroom and spent at least an hour sitting on the floor of the bathtub bawling my eyes out. I went back to work the next day, but I was constantly being reminded of what I had done by the minor cramps and pain I felt for the next few days. I couldn't escape it. It's all I thought about for months. It took me over. From that point on, I never looked at sex the same way. Sex is how you make babies, it was no longer as enjoyable to me. It's still hard for me to think of sex in any other way. I have 2 wonderful kids now, been with my husband for 15 years and I'm happy. But I'll never let go of that day.
Books are life. Recently studies have been published that reading for fun, reading for knowledge, just interest in reading in general is down, and that is a tragedy.
We've become too obsessed with our binge watching and ADHD mindset that we've lost focus on one of life's greatest joys... literature.
There are some stories and books that should be a mandatory read for life. There should be age benchmarks that require knowledge of certain books in order to progress. I know, how "1984" of me. ;)
Redditor u/bugtanks33d wanted to hear about what literature we should all be familiar with sooner than later by asking:
What's a book everyone should read at least once in their lives?
One of my favorite books is "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe." It was a key element in unlocking what I could see with my imagination. No adolescent should go beyond sixth grade without knowing it. What else?
"ANNOUNCEMENT FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE READING THIS THREAD:"
"MANY OF THE BOOKS MENTIONED HERE ARE IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN AND IN AUDIO BOOK FORM. GO THROUGH YOUTUBE/RANDOMHOUSE/AUDIBLE/OVERDRIVE FOR ALL THE CLASSICAL GOODNESS YOU WANT."
"It almost totally eliminates the financial/time commitment that many will cite for not picking them up. I listen to books on double speed all the damn time. I am working my way through "A Tale of Two Cities" now."
Meaningwondering simon cowell GIF by X Factor GlobalGiphy
"Man's search for meaning - Viktor Frankl."
"The Phantom Tollbooth."
"Milo: "Many of the things I'm supposed to know seem so useless that I can't see the purpose of learning them at all."
"Princess of Sweet Rhyme: "...what you learn today, for no reason at all, will help you discover the wonderful secrets of tomorrow."
"Johnny's Got His Gun. It's so intense, but it's so good. Metallica's song One is based off this book. Guy has his arms and legs blown off, goes blind and deaf, and is left to live like that. I only read it once, but it's forever engrained into my memory. It hits you like a freight train."
"Surprised I haven't seen it here already so I'll add it... The Brother's Karamazov by Dostoyevsky. In Slaughterhouse 5 Vonnegut said it could teach everything that we needed to know about life, except that wasn't enough anymore."
"If the only thing that book did was make you marvel at how people centuries and oceans removed from you in time and place, could experience the exact same emotions about life as you did, it would be worth the read. There's so much more to it, but Dostoyevsky had such a knack for digging deep into universal human experience. And it's just a hell of a good story too."
Classicsdiva read GIFGiphy
"Speaking as somebody who isn't religious, the literary value of the Bible (and the Hebrew Bible) is severely underrated."
I took a class on it in college, with a prof who'd once allegedly gotten into a bar fight over Beowulf. We would sometimes spend half a class discussing a single verse or two because there's so much stuff going on under the hood."
I know so many of those. And sadly, I'm already behind in my studies. I love books and I'm always on the path to find more to consume. Let me ready my already lengthy list.
WARWar Shockwave GIFGiphy
"All Quiet on the Western Front. Everyone should have to reckon with the reality of what war actually means."
"Night, by Elie Wiezel. It is absolutely heartwrecking , and I hated every moment of reading it, which is exactly the effect it is supposed to have."
"Came here looking for this one. I had to read it back in high school and it blew me away how moved I was by it. Stories like his need to be remembered for all time, no matter how hard it is to get through (emotionally-speaking; it's actually quite an easy and short read). I'm so grateful that my English teacher assigned it."
"The Westing Game."
"A Librarian here, such a terrific book. I have gotten so many kids to read it by hooking them with the fact that the reader can play the game and has all of the clues. And good luck as it is fiendishly clever."
All the Good Crazy
"The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. Such a great book."
"Oh my god yes. I love this book for being the sex, drugs and rock and roll of the classics world. It is lengthy but has revenge, treasure, plots and schemes and drugs. There is nothing stuffy about this classic."
"The Giver- that book made my 9-10 year old mind really think about what was important in society. It was the first time the idea of "good" things having a negative consequence was presented to me. I think what makes it work is that we are learning how this whole society really works along side a character who has lived in it his whole life."
"As the facade of the utopian society begins to fall away to show devastating consequences of the "perfect life and society" the reader not only feels their shock but the main character's shock. This was a book I read in school 4 times- once in 5th grade and once in 10th for English and then in both high school and college sociology classes. This book written for 9-13 year olds made for great discussions."
Good and Bad of Liferead ford GIFGiphy
"The Grapes of Wrath and/or Of Mice and Men. Both are heartbreaking, but not for the sake of being heartbreaking - instead they provide a glimpse of how freaking hard life can be, but also how beautiful it can be."
That is a lot of good advice. And a lot of great storytelling and advice giving. Did anyone miss anything that should be there? And make sure you read anything by Harlan Coben, he's a fav.
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It's always our high school dreams, as shown by every high school teen movie ever, to marry the popular girl or the jock. But high school is high school for a reason; life does not really last outside of the walls of high school in the way it did within.
Jocks tend to fall off their athletic bandwagons. The popular girls have a hell of a time making their way in the working world when their popularity means nothing. People's lives sometimes completely freeze in place.
Or sometimes those people really do completely change, and live their lives for the better.
Here were some of those answers.
"My mom was the elite Atlanta debutante and lived a very cushy life at a budding Miami country club. Beautiful and very popular at the private school. My dad grew up on a farm in Virginia. They weren't poor but they were definitely not refined."
"Eventually my father's family made it down to Miami after selling the farm. He became the lifeguard at the country club pool where my mom spent days lounging about."
"My parents say they saw each other and that was it. The scandal was great - the debutante and the lowly lifeguard...."
"They just celebrated 54 years of marriage. My 'lowly' lifeguard father made quite the life for my mom regardless of what all those elite twats said was going to happen."
"She gladly left the country club life for him and they are still so utterly in love it's crazy. He carries a photo of her at the pool where they met. The only references she makes to being 'that girl' are that they proved everyone wrong."
"They are beautiful and I love their story."-wadinglimpkin
Just Because He's Hot Don't Mean He Can't Be Smart Too
"Not me but my mom married my dad who who was hot sh*t. They met in college when he was an absolute hellion."
"But since then he became a doctor, still a really fun dude. He's also a licensed contractor so when he was bored he built a 6000 square foot barn in our backyard over 10 years completely on his own."
"Absolutely stand up dude."-GravityMyGuy
"I married the cool girl. Super athletic, everyone was her friend. We started dating in high school."
"She's kept up everything people loved about her. Nowadays she isn't as interested in other people, and focuses on herself, her career, us and our future."
"We're planning to buy a house and have kids soon. I'm the breadwinner today but I'm not so sure if that'll be true in a few years lol"-WakeAndVape
See, not all the cool kids go on to have horrible, boring lives after. Sometimes the cool kids were cool because they deserved it.
"As it turned out, I married one of the mean girls, didn't go to her school, didn't find out she was considered that until after the divorce. That's how it turned out."
"Then I dated one of the cool chicks. Did go to her school, did know she was considered that. And she was the most amazing human being I've ever known. That one didn't work out either."
"Now I'm just retired from relationships for a bit, strike 3 would kill me right now."
"This was very therapeutic. I have friends and family that are awesome. Hopefully, I'll have more Someday. For now it's me and my kids I'm focusing on."-read110
A Tale Of Strength (On The Outside)
"My mom was the cool girl all through high school, undergrad, grad school. But life didn't go that well. For most of her life, she had to be caring for someone in the family who was ill, and that took a huge toll on her."
"First it was her dad, then it was me (I had childhood illnesses), then her in-laws in quick succession, then her dad again, and finally she had to nurse my dad until he passed away from a terminal illness."
"She was meant to be social and have fun, and instead she was forced to be around sickness and sadness for her best years."
"But she is a very happy and mentally strong person in general who made the best of things. She hosted a lot of people and events."
"My house growing up was full of people visiting and having fun. She's very charming and easy to talk to, and has a lot of fans all the time."
"Though, my siblings and I find her social side rather annoying. She isn't like that with us, and she tells us her charming side is just an act, and the real her is the lady who is constantly critical of us 'for our own good.'"
"She likes having groupies hanging around, people who are happy to take her help and be grateful to her. She has very few friends who could be considered her equals."
"She also expects a lot from other people and is constantly disappointed. She wants to be the center of everything. She doesn't know to be a guest at anything, she somehow ends up running every event she's invited to."
"She sincerely believes she's helping, but it's just disrespectful sometimes and when we tell her that, she doesn't get it."
"She likes to dominate everything and make decisions for everyone. We joke that if the prime minister was her friend, she'd somehow end up running the country for him."-sensitiveinfomax
Sometimes, Chase The Waterfalls
"My mum was the nerdy girl who got all the As and had zero social skills, and somehow managed to start dating my dad who was the popular, good-looking guy who everyone thought would peak in high school."
"She was actually advised by her family and friends that he wouldn't give her the future she was hoping for. They got married at 19, had me when they were 20, and while they were pretty broke the first few years of my life, he paid for my mum to attend law school, started his own business and 25 years later with 3 kids, they're still so in love and have a pretty cushy life."
"My dad actually met one of the loud voices who told my mum she was making a big mistake marrying him, and she had said how she always knew he would turn out well, which he found hilarious."-samknowsbest8
"Found out recently (30 M) that my dad was extremely popular in highschool from my aunt. I had no idea he was an all-star football player with lots of college offers and was prom and homecoming king."
"Never talks about it, but he's doing well. 2 kids, a dog, and a loving wife, imo he's still winning."-ZoatDGoat
And what counts as successful in high school doesn't necessarily count toward success in later life.
What Kind Of Woman?
"My brother was one of the hottest guys in high school and went on to be a model. He's still cool and hot to many but now he's a bit fat."
"He's my brother so ewww on the hot part in my opinion. But women still swoon and he's so obnoxious. Think Matt Dillon, etc…. Era."
"He got dumped by his model 17 years younger wife for a 26 year old. He has impossible standards and it's making him miserable. He's into these flashy shallow women. Overall he's doing really well and his business is thriving."-RunRevolutionary9019
Always Take The Risk
"I sat next to the popular guy every day pretty much for five years and I was so afraid of speaking to him. I'd watched him and his friends picking each other up and shoving the chosen one into lockers, or chasing each other round into a pile on and throwing their shoes at each other. Typical school sh*t."
"They were rowdy and loud and intimidating, but he was the quiet yet seriously funny one and I crushed on him HARD for years. He remembers me as the little blonde girl who didn't speak to anyone (because I was so anxious all the time)."
"He also protected his sister from some a**holes every break time and she'd come to find him for safety from bullies."
"Should have spoken to him sooner when school finished, because we have the same music taste and we get on well enough now at 26 that we have a 6 month old daughter together, my daughter from a previous relationship and we just got engaged last weekend. I adore him, he's handsome, charming and funny and I would do anything for this man as he would for me."-hospital-flowers
High School Never Ends
"I married the Student Council President/ Prom King. He jokes that he peaked in high school. Graduated 20 years ago. He dropped out of three colleges and hasn't found a career path he is passionate about."
"He hates his job, but he's actually really good at it. He's kind of trapped in it because it would be incredibly difficult for him to find a new job without a degree."
"He's a good husband. He's an amazing father. He struggles with anxiety and some depression. A lot of self-doubt. He's incredibly social and the pandemic hit hard."
"He's put on weight and hates his body. He admits that he worries about what other people think of him and wants people to like him."
"He's introspective and wants to be a better person, but anxiety gets in the way sometimes. He married a theater nerd lol, but we didn't meet until college. I felt a little intimidated by his popular past, but he's very down-to-earth."-madestories
We really want our lives to fit neatly into these stereotypes, but at the end of the day, we are all just people repeating a cycle of wanting more for ourselves over and over again. We can't shove that into a stereotype.
Even the student council president, the prom king, the homecoming queen, and the jocks can't run away and hide in a single identity forever. Life makes you into a more rounded person whether you want to be one or not.
Movies' strong focus on creating drama through conflict inevitably has lead to countless on screen deaths.
Some of those movie deaths occur to minor characters we don't care much about (enter Wilhelm Scream). Nonetheless, they can still pack a punch if the manner of the death was gruesome or sad enough.
On the other side of the coin, a death doesn't have to be spectacular to create drama if it happens to a character we've grown to love throughout the film.
And sometimes, a beloved character faces a gruesome end. That's the double whammy.
Redditor Boston_Strong_CQB241 asked:
"Out of all the deaths you seen in movies, which one really stands out to you as the worst?"
Many Redditors recalled the deaths that drew their intensity from the connection they'd felt with the character who did the dying.
And, yes, sometimes the manner of death only heaped on the drama.
"The soldier in Saving Private Ryan that had the knife slowly plunged into his chest after a hand to hand fight and he was begging the other soldier to stop. Intense."
That Etched Wooden Beam
"The old man (Brooks) who hangs himself from The Shawshank Redemption."
" 'Get busy living or get busy dyin.' "
A Very Different Boxing Film
"Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby. Almost becoming World Champion, then paralyzed, her family only caring about the money she won from boxing, then having her limbs chopped off because of bed sores that got infected."
"All this just to be put down as a act of kindness like the story she foretold of her dog she grew up with. I will never watch that movie again."
Stoic Until She Wasn't
"Vesper Lynd drowning in 'Casino Royale.' That moment when she goes serene and calm, to a panicky and frenzied last gasp for air.... that really bothered me."
Others were spooked by the pure violence of some onscreen deaths. They could barely watch the gruesome moments when they erupted.
But now they can't forget them.
Slam, Slam, Slam
"That f**king wine bottle scene in Pan's Labyrinth. The casual brutality is so horribly realistic." -- Darth_Mufasa
"My jaw dropped the first time I saw it and it still haunts me. In fact, that movie gave me nightmares for two weeks" -- TheSilverCrystal
"The curb stomp." -- AUTheatreNerd
"American History X. The curb stomp. It haunts me." -- DigitFisher
"Ryan Reynolds getting his insides eaten out by an Alien in the horror movie Life. It still traumatized me."
And some people recalled the deaths they witnessed as children movie-watchers. All grown up now, they still can't unsee those old images.
"That shoe from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, it was so happy and friendly and then it gets slowly dipped to death. The smoke and its cries of pain are burned into my mind 25+ years later."
"Artax in the swamp of sorrows. Made me cry so much as kid, Atreyo was so hopeless." -- kirby60
"Don't you dare do this to me right now" -- OmgOgan
Multiple Movies' Worth of Sadness
"Stoick from How to Train Your Dragon 2, I still cry every time I even think about it, and the flashbacks in the third movie just break me, great trilogy. Full of emotion and great everything, best Dreamworks movies, in my opinion"
The worst part is that this is only a small handful of the tragic movie moments that are out there. And we have so many unknown future deaths we'll see too.
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It might feel like a challenge to come back at someone who has just insulted you, but it's easier than you think.
What's the most memorable comeback you've heard in your life?
No one knows you like your family, hence why they're usually the one who know the best way to eviscerate you using only their words. Anyone with an older brother and/or sister knows what's going on with these comebacks.
She Can Stay
"My son and his newlywed wife were poor college students living out of state. When I went to visit them I took them to the grocery store and let them fill up a couple of grocery carts that I paid for. As we were leaving the store I said, "Now, when your kids are poor married college students trying to get by, don't forget this". My new daughter-in-law piped up and said, "Oh we won't forget. We're going to tell them to go get grandpa!" Haa haaa haaa...I love that gal."
Got That Sacred "Dad Laugh"
"I don't care if it's self-congratulatory, I'm proud of this one:
"Having dinner with my dad and older sister. I got straight As in school or something, and she's doing the older sibling thing."
"Sister: You may have gotten the book smarts in this family, but *I* got the street smarts."
"Me: The corner doesn't count."
"Dad: *chokes whiles laughing*"
Oh, Good Lord...
"My uncle to my husband. "When are you guys having a kid?"
"My husband. "Please don't ask me about my sex life with your niece"
Like, in public. Where people are. Other people. People you don't know, who might just be going about their day-to-day business, and they just so happen to hear someone being roasted alive?
What's Keeping You Alive, Grandpa?
"Was standing behind these two older adults and this teen girl at the gas station last year. She was on her phone and the guy snapped at her for "not knowing how to live without technology" and without looking up she went "don't you have a pacemaker?".
When The Store Hates You...
"Someone yelled out in a Walmart , "I'm not ashamed of who I am".
"Another voice echoed back, "that's your parents job"
You Would Really Walk Up To Someone You Don't Know And Say This?
"Young pregnant co-worker had a stranger stare disapproving at her in a restaurant, then walk up and say "pregnancy isn't very becoming on you." She replied, "well, being a nosey rude bi*ch isn't becoming on you, but here we are."
And then there's these clapbacks. Unplanned, zero preparation, and with little prior knowledge, there needs to be a call placed to some local medical center with how much damage was done with these comebacks.
If You Pantsed It, Fix It
"My friend got pantsed, underwear and all at a party. Instead of pulling his underwear and pants up, immediately, he just kept going about his business, while hanging dong. Those of us that knew him already thought it was hilarious. The people at the party that didn't know him, looked really uncomfortable due to this dude having his pants and underwear around his ankles, with his wiener hanging freely. Our friend/the host said "dude, why don't you pull your pants up?" Pantsed guy said "I didn't pull them down." Then took his turn in beer pong. The host then found the guy that did pull them down and made him pull our friend's pants back up."
Definitely Seems Like You Got Tricked Here
"When I was working as a bartender one Halloween, I came dressed as an old Western style bartender (complete with mustache and accent). We had the evening split up into a little costume party for kids and families in the earlier hours, and then an adults only costume piss up later on."
"One of the regulars laughed at my costume and said I looked stupid, so I told him"
"You should probably come back after the kids have gone because you've come dressed as a c-nt".
"He didn't talk to me for weeks after that. It was blissful."
That's A Mom Burn! Those Don't Heal!
"I asked my mum out of curiosity what she would do if she found a used condom in my brother's room."
"Her response: "I would remind him that you can't get HIV from your own hand"
"For context, I live in South Africa where HIV is very common"
If you have some ice nearby it might be a good idea to go and grab some.
These burns spread.
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