Breaking up with someone is hard. We get it. But there is a right way, and a wrong way. A way that takes the other person's feelings and humanity into a consideration, and a way that flings tiny turds at the person's soul and whispers, "I am a horrible person." Don't be like the turd throwers below.
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We had been together just about a year, and Valentine's day was approaching, it was to be our first together. I had planned a romantic evening, roses, candles, the works. The weekend before valentine's I had to work, and she was accompanying a guy she knew to some sort of fraternity formal. I didn't exactly approve, but she had been a virgin when we met, shy of sex until we were together for a while, and didn't seem the type to cheat. She assured me it was just platonic, blah, blah, blah...
So valentine's arrives and I've got the scene all laid out and we have the nice candlelit dinner, but afterwords she breaks into tears and confesses that she had sex with the guy after the formal. She says, basically, he had bought me flowers, so I couldn't say no...relationship ends ten minutes later. I'm a bit heartbroken...she was stunning and we had had a good ride, but I got over it and date around for a while.
Fast forward 11 months, I get a call late one week night from valentine's girl..."Gosh I've missed you. Can you come get me? I've got so much to say". I've got nothing going on and can be talked into being horny, so I go get her. We talk in the car for a bit until she says 'I really meant come get me, now take me back to your place'. We sleep together, it's nice, we talk every day for the next 3 or 4 days until we decide that since the next week is valentine's day and there's no one we'd rather be with on the day, we'll try again. Day before valentine's day I get a call from girl "sorry to do this to you Otto, but I was out with a friend the other night and met a guy, think he might be the one".
I booked a weekend for me and my GF in London in order to go and see a concert. I paid about 250 euros for her since she couldn't afford it herself. The day before leaving, I went down to the bank to withdraw some English pounds and I called her and asked if I should withdraw some for her (and she could give me cash for it later). She replied "Well, yeah.... I don't have a lot of money right now" and I was a bit confused. Anyway, I told her she could borrow money from me and pay me back later. She still sounded hesitant and agreed that I could withdraw 50 pounds for her, way too little to last the entire weekend.
So I went home and started packing. Didn't hear from her for a couple of hours, and when the clock was 8 PM (we were leaving at 8 AM the day after) and I could not reach her I got a bit scared. She had been acting strange all day, and now she wasn't answering my calls.
So I tried calling her about 15-20 times, no answer. I called her little brother but he didn't know where she was. I found out the number to her best friend and called her, and while I was almost crying I asked her where my GF was and explained that I was taking her to London. The friend's answer (I didn't talk much to her friends) was "Yeah, I heard something about somebody taking her to London. I don't know where she is." She sounded just as strange as my GF did earlier.
I called the police. Nobody knew where my GF was and I was scared that something had happened. They told me that I needed to go and check her apartment, and wait 24hours before reporting her as missing. So I took my car and drove to her house all terrified. Ran in to her apartment and found her in bed with another dude.
I just turned and walked out. Got in to the car and drove home crying. Called her friend again and just asked her what the heck was going on. Apparently my GF had ben cheating on me for 2 of the 5 years we had been together. I talked to her once after that and her explanation was, "Well, I loved you both in different ways".
Have not talked to her since that.
I had been dating this girl for a while and all was well. We had planned a trip out of town for a big, all-day event. About a week before the trip she stops responding to texts all day. I chalk it up to her being busy and try not to overthink it. I get a text from her the next day saying that she is not sure what to think anymore and needs some space. This is out of nowhere. I don't know what is going on and am crushed but decide that if she needs space I will give it to her.
She texts me the next day and asks how I am doing. I tell her that I am ok. She then invites me to a family gathering for her cousin who just came back from Germany. I am confused about the quick turnaround but gladly accept the invite. She introduces me to all her family (cousins, aunts and uncles, even grandparents). It went fine and as I leave she makes a big deal about giving me a kiss and how she will talk to me the next day.
Next day comes around and she invites me to a party with all of her co-workers, she was leaving for a new job and it was a going away party, I accept once again. I have met most of them before so it wasn't too bad. But all the ones I haven't met she introduces me to as her boyfriend and is very touchy feely the whole night.
We end up going on the trip. The concert was great, lots of good bands. I promised her I would take her shopping the next day so we did that. I ended up spending a decent amount of money on her, thinking this would help show her how much I cared, dumb idea I know. She then tells me how awesome it would be if we went a little out of the way on the way home to meet her step-sisters. I agree, seeing as I had already met all her other relatives, I see no problem with this. We go about two hours out of the way and meet them, have lunch, talk for a while, and end up heading back home late at night.
I go to work the next day and am not hearing from her. I decide that she might still be needing some space and let her be. I get a text the next day saying that she feels like we have drifted apart and need to break up. I ask her how long she felt like this and she says for about a month. When I ask her why she would introduce me to her whole family when she was feeling this way she said it is because I am the first guy they would approve of and she wanted them all off her back. I later find out that for the entire last month of our relationship she had been sleeping with her ex and had apparently told him that they would be getting back together as soon as we had gone on this trip and I had bought her the nice things she wanted.
I was messed up by this for a while. It happened about 5 months ago and sometimes I still get pretty down about it. But luckily I have some great friends and a great family around me to let me know that I am better off.
At the airport when leaving for a deployment to Iraq.
He sent me a text saying "ur dumpd" whilst we were sat next to each other on a bus. Classy fella!
After I had surgery and was able to fully hold a conversation I called my then boyfriend. He proceeded to tell me I had too much drama, he didn't love and he was sleeping with his ex. We hung up, I asked for more pain killer and went right back to sleep. Good times.
My ex and I went to Thailand together for a two-week trip around the country (after being together over a year). This was also a sort-of birthday present for me, as it was right before my 20th birthday. On the third day, he confessed that he didn't love me anymore and realized it a month before the trip, but couldn't tell me. He didn't want to be with me anymore. The trip was non-refundable. I had to get a new friggin passport and take two weeks off work, and it was HIS IDEA! It was miserable and humiliating. I drank a lot. Instead of going home with me at the end of the trip, he stayed and got drunk with some of his friends who conveniently showed up, and slept with random girls. My birthday was terrible and then I had to explain everything to my friends and parents when I got back. I cried for weeks.
I had been dating a girl for about four years and she seemed perfect. We had been living together for two years and had had no relationship problems that I was really aware of. We both took jobs in a different state (the same state, same company, same town) and were going to move in about 6 months or so. My job required me to go and complete training in a completely different state until then.
So, I say goodbye to my fianc and travel off to this third state where I live on a shoestring budget in order to finance our almost cross-country move. While I'm away, my fianc starts telling me that she's been spending a lot of time with this female friend of mine that I introduced her to. My fianc was bisexual, and we had had discussions about certain "open-ness" in our relationship, so I wasn't worried. In fact, I was happy that she wasn't as lonely as she kept telling me she was.
After about six months, I travel back home. My fianc doesn't greet me at the door - in fact, she had my only key and didn't answer her phone. So I had to sit outside of our apartment with my luggage, waiting for thirty minutes. Eventually aforementioned mutual friend drives up, my fianc gets out, and the friend leaves without a word or a wave. My fianc tells me she had forgotten that I was getting in that day (despite me having texted and emailed her earlier). I shrug it off and we go inside and keep packing.
We packed for about a week and the whole time she refused to sleep at our apartment (claiming that it was too uncomfortable to sleep on a foam mattress on the floor). She stayed at her now-girlfriend's place. At the end of the week, we loaded up a truck and drove to our new state.
Things seemed fine. She was smiling and happy. We got to the apartment that I had paid for in advance, a 2-story apartment with a fireplace, balcony, the works. It was supposed to be the stepping stone for a new life. She seemed happy, started unpacking her suitcase, set our cats out to explore. I started unloading the truck.
Three days later, I had finally finished unloading the truck. The fridge had food, the couches and bed were set up, the place was looking close to a real home. She was aloof, quiet. I kept asking what was wrong, she wouldn't tell me. She refused to talk. I tried to sit next to her and talk but she said she was fine and she just needed to be quiet and alone for a bit. I said sure, if that's what she wanted. I went to bed somewhat early as I had unpacked most of the truck by myself.
I woke up at 5am to a text message from her saying "I'm safe - I left you a note". I immediately start crying because any idiot knows this means bad news.
The note was a 2 page letter that was held to the fridge downstairs by a magnet. It was a long treatise about how she never really loved me and only started dating me as a rebound and then stayed with me when she realized I treated her better than anyone else had and that I was able to give her the best sex she had ever had in her life. She noted that she came to the conclusion (with the help of her new girlfriend) that she didn't love me ever, and in fact, according to her girlfriend, I was abusive and she needed to leave me for someone else. The gist of the letter was that I should feel bad about how bad of a person I was/am and that I needed to be out of the apartment by the time she got back from her ski vacation (a week's time) or else she would make me get out.
This is where my life fell apart. I was in a new town that I had only been in for about four days, I had no money because I spent it all on my cross-country move, and now I was homeless. I didn't want to fight because I was tired and emotionally destroyed (I was supposed to spend my life with this woman) so I started packing up my car (at least I had a car) and went to work as usual and spent most of the next couple of days looking for a new apartment. I eventually just threw in the towel and moved back to where I was living prior. Thankfully, I was able to keep my new job.
However, the emotional scars still run deep (as I'm sure they do for a lot of people posting here) and I still have deep and powerful trust issues and am highly paranoid without warrant.
My boyfriend went to see his family a state away, before he left I noticed I was very nauseous all the time and my boobs were sore. He was nervous when he left and said he'd be back soon and to keep him updated. Started getting bad cramping and bad bleeding, thought it was just my period, but then the bleeding stopped after one day. Went to doctor for tests to make sure all is good down below. Turned out I was pregnant and partially miscarried. I also had first stage signs of cervical cancer due to HPV he had given me, that they would have to laser off. Kept him informed of what was going on. He freaked out, never returned and admitted he had been cheating on me with a girl in his hometown. I guess it's during a low point that you find out someone's true character.
I continued dating my high school girlfriend after I went to college. We were only 100 miles apart and things were fine for most of our freshman year.
Then, one day she stopped returning my calls, this was right after I had spent the weekend with her.
I continued calling, getting worried.
One day soon after, which I will need forget, I was walking back after class and called her.
A guy picked up and said "There is a new Sheriff in town. Stop calling." I could here her laughing in the background.
I loved her dearly. Wanted to get married after college. I was devastated. Went home, put on kid-a and moped for like a year.
Four years later she apologized to me. I was dating my now-wife at that point. We are friends now. But I still hate losing those years to depression and self doubt.
Wife left me and the kids right after I had finished nursing her back to health after a major surgery. She said I wasn't romantic enough to her. Right when she was able to work again, she abandoned the kids.
I guess raising kids and supporting her through bed rest wasn't in the 50 shades of Grey novel.
My girlfriend at the time was studying abroad. I went to visit her after several months of saving up to be able to buy a plane ticket. I arrived and she almost immediately told me that she had someone else.
My ticket, of course, was non-refundable, so I had to spend 5 days completely heartbroken in a city I didn't know, filled with people whose language I didn't speak and with no means to go home.
Worst week of my life.
I was single, bored, and wanted to be out of the house, but didn't want to see or talk to anyone. So I go to Starbucks and sit on my laptop working on some code, headphones on. My focus is interrupted by a tap on my shoulder. I look up, and there's this really cute girl. I take off my headphones and she was asking about my tattoos. We talked for a little bit, I showed her some of my ink, she showed me some of hers. Then her friend wanted to leave. Before they left, she gives me her number and asks me to call her.
I call her that night, and it turns out she's in the hospital. I ask her what happened, and she explains to me she has Cystic Fibrosis, and she normally waits to tell people about it until after she knows them a bit better.
I didn't know anything about CF, so I got to Googling while talking to her. The next day, I get off work, we've been texting all day. And She was complaining about hospital food, which she's grown accustomed to due to being in the hospital every so many months. I show up with some food, stayed there and we talked for a few hours.
She told me that whenever she starts seeing someone once she ends up in the hospital they realize that she's there for 2-3 weeks every 4-6 months, and they lose interest. And none of them ever bothered to come see her.
So I came by every day for 3 weeks to spend time with her after I got off work. I met her brother, a couple of her friends... got along with all of them.
We dated for 3 months after that... I learned a lot about CF in that time period. She lived every day like it was the last, because for her... it might be, with only 60% lung capacity. That was compounded even more because she was only 4'11'' tall, and finding lungs that were both a match for her, and would fit, wasn't easy. I thought a lot about what I was getting into. But I was happy, and I didn't care. I prepared myself for the worst and enjoyed each day.
One night when she's sleeping over at my place, she wakes up in a fit of coughing. I wake up and pat her back to try and help her break up some of the stuff in her lungs... Then she tells me "We have to stop this." I ask why and she says "I don't know how long I'm going to live, I don't know if I'll ever get new lungs." I tried to talk her out of this... I told her I understood what I was getting into. She told me, "I don't bother getting close to anyone, because I'm going to die and leave them behind and I don't want anyone to miss me. Normally guys just leave after I'm stuck in the hospital for a bit... But I know you won't... And it's not fair to you."
No matter what I said, I couldn't convince her. She packed up her stuff and left, and asked me to forget about her. And as quickly as she was there, she was gone. Our relationship was short and intense.
A little over a year passed, and I dated a few more women... The whole time I felt like I should have said something more, I should have tried harder. But that was that. I ended up meeting my current girlfriend, and one day I get a text from my ex. She got new lungs, and she wanted to apologize. She knew I had a new girlfriend, and didn't want me to bother responding, but she wanted to apologize.
My current girlfriend expected me to go back to my ex. And said she'd understand if I did... I never even considered replying to the text, I'm happy now... And I've heard she has met someone, and they've been together for almost a year. Hopefully she'll stay happy, and live a long life.
I got dumped via text while I was drugged up on painkillers, recovering from an operation that rendered me unable to walk for 2 weeks. After not telling me why and being ignored for weeks and being blocked on Facebook etc, I was asked by a friend how I was coping with what she did. I later found out he meant the fact the she broke up with me for another guy. When I asked her about this she said "you don't know what I'm thinking so stop trying". This happened 7 weeks ago and I still cant go through a day without forcing myself not to text her or stalk her Facebook.
I foolishly decided that moving into the same building as my boyfriend would be cute and convenient. It was only later that I realized it was a horrible move.
After he drove my car drunk and stole from me, I decided to end it. I broke my lease and started packing.
I didn't get all my packing done in one day, but I was nervous enough of him that I didn't want to stay in the same building.
My ex was so pissed off at me that he decided he was going to break into my apartment, plant some drugs, then call the cops on me.
My super called the cops when he saw him trying to get into my apartment. Thank goodness.
I drove to my girlfriend's place one night. Her mom answers the door and says, "She don't want nothing to do with you." As I'm getting back in my car, my girlfriend appears. I just said, "Save it. If you're not adult enough to break up with me yourself, then I want nothing to do with you anyway." I drove off and never saw her again.
I was an American girl living in London, England, who had a nice job lined up and was totally happy there. I was in a long distance relationship and he begged and convinced me to move back to the States. It was only AFTER I moved back that I found out he had been cheating on me the whole time. Yay! Why couldn't he have just told me sooner, before I gave up the job and hauled myself back to the other side of the world?
My girlfriend of three years broke up with me last Wednesday. About a week after I planned out our anniversary, and took her out on a fun date with pottery and delicious foods, all nice like. She said I wasn't focused enough on her life.
The thing that made it so bad wasn't that she did it in the billiards room of the memorial union, or that her reason was that I hadn't put her before school and studying, or that it was right after my uncle killed himself.
No. What was so bad about it was that I realized I didn't even care. Every time I'd done something for her, it was never enough. No matter how hard I tried.
Man... a breakup, after three years, should hurt, but I didn't feel anything. In fact I almost laughed. I didn't even feel like crying, I wasn't upset. I just didn't care anymore. She was breaking up with me, after everything I'd done. After leaving school when her best friend died, to stay with her, and just let her vent and cry. After planning every anniversary event. After everything, good and bad... three years of trying to have a good relationship. And I realized I didn't care anymore. Sad.
So I just left. And went and had smashburger with the homeless guy from New York who always sleeps at my bus stop.
Leaving the fact that I was in elementary school, I still think it was rude; I had a girlfriend and our times were golden, holding hands and stuff, I was flying. We were holding hands for like a few weeks when on one day my mom dropped me off at school as I saw her playing with another guy from class (rude). It struck me and I went to her to ask what the heck was wrong with her, playing with that other guy. As cold as ice she then replied: "Yeah, I'm with him now, is that okay with you?" With nothing coming up and only my mouth full open I stood there broken hearted. I still hate her.
I came down with what I thought was a bad cold, but the other day I found myself unable to breathe and was getting scared when my home breathing treatments weren't working (I have asthma). So I went to the ER on Tuesday and I was admitted later that afternoon with a lung infection. She works long hours so I waited until that evening to tell her. We talked all of 5 minutes before she went to bed. I then didn't hear anything from all day yesterday (I was stuck in the hospital on Halloween no less!) so I was getting worried. Finally she answered my text this morning and proceeded to tell me this wasn't going to work out and broke up with me.