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Mortified People Share Romantic Gestures That Turned Into Complete Fails.

Mortified People Share Romantic Gestures That Turned Into Complete Fails.

Uhhh... I'm just gonna show myself out.


1. Once, many years ago, I drove to my boyfriends house wearing lingerie and heels under a trench coat (like you see in movies from time to time). I had my portable CD player ready to go with some romantic music for when he opened the door. Well, he opened the door and I pushed play and opened my coat to reveal the lingerie. We just stood there awkwardly so I stopped the music. He invited me in and we sat on the bedthats it. Just sat. After a few minutes of small talk he said this probably isnt turning out how you planned. Nope.


2. I bought my girlfriend a bunch of her favorite candies for Valentines Day. She broke up with me and now Im left with a broken heart and a bag of crappy candy.


3. I was making out with my then boyfriend and I told him I was going to give him a hickey but I realized I didnt know how to give someone a hickey so I bit him on the neck really hard, like broke the skin hard, panicked, and immediately drove him home. My friends will never let me live it down and a favorite comeback of theirs is oh what are you going to do, bite me??


4.I had a crush on this guy who recently broke up with his girlfriend, so I decided to stop by his store and give him flowers to cheer him up. He gave me a big smile and I assumed he appreciated the gesture. The next day, he told me to never stop by his store again :(


5. I was dating this guy a few years ago and we had been together for maybe three or four months. He lived two hours away, so I thought (while he was visiting) that it would be nice to give him something sweet before he went back home. I made a small box out of paper and put little notes inside. I wrote cute song lyrics and lovey stuff like Ill be with you through anything and things similar to that. When he opened the box and read the notes (after he got back home), he wasnt very enthused. It was a ding in our relationship and in my self confidence when he basically said he didnt really like the notes. We broke up a few months after that.


6. After the prom I played truth or dare with my bfs friends. They told me to bite his nose, still a weird dare but obviously I was supposed to nibble seductively. Instead I actually (Continued)

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Instead I actually bit semi hard and actually Im cringing to remember that right now!


7. I always dreamed of a romantic first kiss. When I was 15, me and my friend were hanging out at a park late at night. When a group of teenage boys walked by. We, being mature 15 year olds, cat called them. I jokingly asked for a kiss goodnight (even though Id never saw them before) a guy stepped forward and next thing I know, Im kissing a stranger. It was really slobbery and he missed my lips, he was making out with my upper lip, didnt even touch my bottom lip.

The worst part is it was my first kid and I never learned the kids name and it was dark and I was so freaked out about getting kissed I dont even know what he looked like. Definitely not the romantic comedy first kiss in the rain moment i was looking for.


8. Not to me but to my parents. My dad and Mom were just friends in college and my dad started to like my mom. One day while they were studying my dad decided to make a move. My dad kissed my mom and my mom responded with, damn it! I just wanted to be friends!

Fast forward a few months and theyre engaged. My dad proposed to at a beautiful poorly named valley, Dead Horse Valley, really captures the essence of their relationship.


9. One time my then boyfriend (and now husband) and I had snuck off on campus to stargaze because our university was strict about no coed dorms, even for visiting. After a lot of stargazing we ended up in a position that looked like this: me laying on my stomach, and him sitting on my legs whilst he admired my butt. Only, I didnt realize how close his face was too my read end, and I had some major gas I was holding in. Next thing I know, he spread my cheeks and I ripped is HARD directly into his face that was within two inches of my booty. Incredibly, we made it through that, and we still laugh about it even three years later


10. Our first Christmas together, I bought lingerie and one of those huge 5 ft stockings that I could fit in and be waiting on him when he got home. Well instead I met him at a bar after work and took so many shots of tequila that when we finally did get home I told him to wait a minute that I had a surprise and I went in the bedroom to try and do what I had planned. I was too drunk to even try to get into the lingerie and as I was trying to get into the stocking I fell off the bed and (Continued)

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I was trying to get into the stocking I fell off the bed and hit my face on the corner of the nightstand giving myself a black eye and busting my lip open. Instead of the sexy night I had planned my boyfriend ended up holding frozen veggies on my face while I vomited up the 11 shots of Patron. But 8 years later weve been married for 5 years and have 2 amazing kids.


12. The first time my boyfriend went down on me, he came up with a face full of blood so I start freaking out and then he looks in the mirror and starts freaking out and it was the most embarrassing moment of my life until he remembers he had a nose bleed that morning.

Becca Rhea

13. My girlfriend and I had our first kiss on a rollercoaster, at age 14. On a school field trip. Neither of us knew what we were doing. It went about as well as you can imagine.


14. Made a romantic dinner of roast chicken for my (now ex) boyfriend. I ended up giving us both food poisoning, and he ended up crapping his pants. He asked me to rinse out his underwear while he was in the shower. Uhno.


15. I have been journaling everyday for the past few years. For me and my boyfriends one year anniversary, I made a journal filled with all of the entries written about him/us (some of which about our sex life). When I gave it to him, he (Continued)

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When I gave it to him, he loved it and kept it in his room. His mom snooped while he was away, and read ALL about our relationship in full detail in a convenient little book I wrote. Ive never been so embarrassed in my life.


16. He put a rose on my car and my 2 separate jobs (in different towns). I thought I had a stalker and my boss almost called the police.


17. My first kiss ever went horribly. I had googled advice on how to do it, and one thing they all had in common was to closing your eyes. So at the end of one of the best dates Ive ever my heart is pounding because I really want to end it on a good note so I closed my eyes and lean inand practically sucked her nose. 4 years later its the funniest thing to both us, guess she figured I had no place to go but up.


18. About a month into dating my current boyfriend (who I have been dating for three years), I went over to his house and we decided to watch a movie. Before the movie, he offered me a piece of gum and I said yes. Well during the movie we started making out and all of a sudden I just froze. The gum, which was still in my mouth had traveled into his and I had no idea what to do, so I just kept kissing him but he knew something was wrong. So he pulled away and I started nervously laughing, and he asked what was so funny. I told him that my gum went into his mouth and I was super embarrassed, no clue what to do. He was like I wondered why my gum suddenly got so much bigger. Probably the most embarrassing moment of my life, that he still brings up to this day


19. When I was 14 and stupid thirsty, I painted my crushes face for our schools Halloween haunted house and then asked him about it a few days later online. He said something really normal and something along the lines of Its awesome. My overactive brain then processed this simple response to a whole new level and I ended up (Continued)

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My overactive brain then processed this simple response to a whole new level and I ended uptelling him that he deserved a cookie (ya know the meme) and wanted to give him a cookie. I then got a cookie, drew the meme out on a little piece of paper and gave it to him a few days later. He rejected the cookie and said he didn't eat cookies, I called him evil, and I avoided him most of the time till he graduated.


20. My husband has a lot of memory loss from being blown up when in the Army. I asked his friends to send me stories and photos if they had any so I could put together a book for his 30th birthday. I gave myself a year to do it. Ended up with 1 story and 2 photos. None of my plans to do nice things ever end up working.


21. I dated a guy for three months and on New Years Eve he stopped responding to my texts. I thought this guy was going to be it; he was everything I wanted in a person and we worked well together. So, I put on a cute outfit and good underwear and at 11:30pm I drove to his house in a grand romantic gesture to talk and fight for our relationship. No one let me in. I sat outside on his porch in the cold for 45 minutes listening to whoever was inside loudly watch 30 Rock. I broke up with him through a text the next day because he still wouldnt acknowledge my messages or calls and kept liking memes on Facebook about being single. So much for that.


22. My boyfriend and I had been together for almost 9 months, and I still had no possible idea of what he would want for Christmas. We live in a pretty small area, and so I decided to take him about an hour away to the nearest Krispy Kreme store, and I wanted to do something romantic and take him ice skating because hed never been before. Well he wasnt too good at it and we just ended up going back home after about 15 minutes.


23. My husband is on a really trying job at the moment and sometimes he has to work weekends. One Saturday he went to work I decided to (Continued)

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clean the entire apartment top to bottom, did all the laundry, ironed, made him breakfast muffins for the week and was making creamed spinach, scalloped potatoes and steak for dinner. I got everything measured ahead of time for the recipes I was making. I started slicing the potatoes on the mandolin being very careful because I know how sharp they can bemy finger slipped on one of the potatoes and I sliced my thumb to the bonemy sister in law had to come over to help stop the bleeding and bandage me up. My husband had to finish the cooking. Not the relaxing evening I had planned for him.


24. I tried to carry her to the bedroom, tripped over a cord and fell on top of her. She ended up spraining her arm. So much for that!

- Anonymous

25. I wanted to set up our apartment for a romantic evening one cold winter night. I lit a few dozen candles and spread them around the room. Unbeknownst to me, my boyfriend (now husband) was at the doctor being diagnosed with pneumonia. When he arrived at our building, the elevator was broken and he had to walk up 7 flights. He was wheezing and coughing due to the illness and the stairs. When he walked in to the candle filled living room, he nearly passed out from the smoke! Needless to say, it was not the evening I had planned!


26. Before my husband and I were a couple, he thought it was be romantic to surprise kiss me. He whipped me around and started making out with me. I had no clue what was going on, not only was it my first kiss, it was my first make out session too. The kiss was sooo bad, I started licking his face because I didnt now what to do with my tongue. The entire thing was super awkward, I avoided him for the rest of the night. Later that night he messaged me on MySpace and asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend. 8 years and two kids later, Im a way better kisser.


27. I had just started dating my current boyfriend, and his 20th birthday was literally 5 days from when we started dating. I turned up to his apartment to surprise him with a bunch of presents and cake but he had gone out with his family so I waited on his couch for 6 hours, creeping the hell out of his roommate (who didnt know I existed). He finally came home late at night (because the family dinner had turned into an argument), saw me, shut the cake in the fridge then went to bed. I thought he was an asshole for months before we cleared up this misunderstanding, but I still think it was rude to not at least say thank you to someone who bought you presents AND cake.


People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.