
People Share Their Most Embarrassing And Worst Dating Nightmare Stories
[rebelmouse-image 18356640 is_animated_gif=Dating is rough, there's no other way to say it. We don't know a single person who has dated that hasn't had at least one "wtf is happening in my life?" kind of date. One Reddit user asked:
What's your single worst experience on a date?
The responses had us laughing til we cried, crying til we laughed and cringing like you wouldn't believe... so clearly we need to take you on this emotional roller coaster with us. Here are our 20 favorite replies.
1. Go-Karts With Friends
[rebelmouse-image 18356643 is_animated_gif=I asked a girl on a date. She said sure. We agreed on the details, I'll pick her up at 4pm, then we can do go karts at the local speed way. Unbeknownst to me, she invited 2 of her friends. Since I was a spineless 19 year old at the time, I couldn't assert myself to tell her friend not to smoke in my car, and also that I don't want to pay for their go-karting. Ended up paying around $300 for all 4 of us to go race, but my "date" had to stop at the 3rd lap because she crashed with some stranger.
2. "Drying Up"
[rebelmouse-image 18356644 is_animated_gif=When I was 29, a guy told me (15 mins into a first date and with complete sincerity) that I'd better start having kids soon because I was "drying up."
3. Half Drunk In A Torn Dress
[rebelmouse-image 18356645 is_animated_gif=So I met this girl on tinder. She seemed nice enough at the time and I was sorta new to this whole tinder thing so I must admit the red flags slipped right past me.
She rocked up half drunk in a torn dress. Now I'm not one to judge people's lifestyles and I was starving so for some reason I decided to press on with the date.
Bad decision.
I spent the next three hours listening to her moan about her current boyfriend and how he was such a controlling guy because he wouldn't let her go out on one on one "catch ups" with guys at bars.
When I finally came to my senses and told her that I didn't particularly want to be on a date with a girl who was seeing someone, she threw her drink at me and accuses me of assaulting her. Thankfully, the bartender had been watching the entire series of events and took my side on it.
She got thrown out and I didn't go on a tinder date for the next few months
4. Scared Of The Dark
[rebelmouse-image 18356646 is_animated_gif=I took a girl hiking. We got there a little before midday, but we paced slow because of the trail and stopped to eat a lot. To cut to the point, we took longer than expected. She was apparently afraid of the dark, running around and telling me that we were going to die. Not the best experience. I basically had to push her along the trail, taking about an hour or two before we finally got back to my car, where she promptly thanked me for "such a good time." Yeah.
5. "He took one look at me..."
[rebelmouse-image 18356502 is_animated_gif=Not sure this counts since the date didn't actually happen but I was setup on a blind date. We planned to meet at a restaurant.
I got there first and since it was a nice day out I sat down on a bench outside the restaurant. He ended up calling me on his way over and I told him where I was sitting. He was still on the phone when he started walking up to the building. He took one look at me, hung up the phone and walked back to his car.
I tried to call him back thinking something must have happened and he didn't answer. No more answers to calls or texts afterward.
6. PLOT TWIST: They're still together and he's about to propose!
[rebelmouse-image 18356648 is_animated_gif=I met a girl.
A total 10 to me in every way. Great potential from the get go.... I wanted to have an amazing first date because I've always tried to make them memorable (after all they'll be talked about forever if you end up together).
I wanted to keep it simple, nothing tooo crazy, but she liked coffee.
So my plan was basically to take her downtown and we would walk in the beautiful snowfall from coffee shop to coffee shop trying them all until we agreed on the best one!
So I go to pick her up. I arrive at her apartment, and i pull up to the front door. She's not there.
I message her and she says she doesn't see my car. We have a back and forth before I zoom out on my map and realize there is an identical apartment across the street, mirror image. So her screenshot she had sent me looked the same but was backwards.
[X] Late
She hops in and we start to chat, and I feel my pocket for my wallet and realize it's not on my person.
[X] Forgot wallet
Drive 20 minutes home and search. Not there.
[X] Lost Wallet
Drive to parents house (10 min) because I might have left it there, my parents get to meet a girl I haven't even taken on a first date left. No wallet.
[X] Awkward Parental Encounter
Realize I might have left it at the house I was building (I work construction). Drive 10 min. It's there! And I get to impress her with my craftsmanship on the house. Finally a plus!
[X] Over An Hour Late For Date
Head downtown. All the coffee shops are now closed.
[X] Plan Blown.
Time to improvise, I'll take her to a bar/burger joint downtown. Get in there, we had both eaten dinner, neither are hungry... we order a side of fries.
[X] Awkwardly Small Meal.
She's a month away from 21. We just have waters.
[X] Awkward Drink Situation
Meal cost $4.
[X] I Feel Cheap
I take her to the fanciest ice cream place in town to make up for all of this. It too is closed.
[X] -_-
Decide fuck it. We need ice cream so we walk into the grocery store to get some. She runs into her roommate who wonders how the date is going. I walk off to get supplies and this girl explains how bad it is so far. I get ice cream!!
[X] Weird Roommate Encounter.
Need plastic spoons, I can't fuck that up right?
[X] Wrong
grabs box of plastic forks
[X] wut.
So we drive out, park in a parking lot and eat this ice cream with forks because the whole date has gone to shit. We chat and chat and forget about the ice cream.....
....until I lift up the box and it's melted all over the console of the vehicle.
[X] Melted Ice Cream All Over The Car.
So we clean it up; finish chatting and I drop her off. No second date surely.
[X] Nightmare Over.
Until she texts me "that was the worst first date I've ever been on..."
"....but I loved every second of it. When can we hang out again?"
I was over the moon!
And then my car ran out of gas a block from her place so she picked me up, drove me to a gas station, I bought and filled up a gas can and then returned home.
[X] One Last F-Up
7. Getting Kicked Out
[rebelmouse-image 18347524 is_animated_gif=Chick asked me to go to the movies.
Right before I leave my house she tells me that three of her friends were also coming.
I get there and she tells me to just sneak into the theatre that they snuck into.
We all get kicked out.
9. Puke
[rebelmouse-image 18356649 is_animated_gif=I threw up on to their shoes and then continued to drink more.
10. He Wasn't Ready
[rebelmouse-image 18356651 is_animated_gif=It was less of a date and more of a hook up. Very handsome dude. I made my intentions clear and asked him what he was interested in. "Firefighting, f_*_ing, and fighting." Yeah, tough guy, let's meet for drinks and go back to your place! Have drinks, going well. Go back to his place and have more drinks, still going well. Start getting down to business and, when we're both nearly completely undressed, he pulls away. Quickly dress and run out the door with a pat on his head while he cries about his ex-girlfriend. He was not ready for a hook up.
11. She's A Biter
[rebelmouse-image 18356652 is_animated_gif=Getting bit by her on my arm so hard, that it left mild teeth marks and a massive bruise, even through my thick pleather jacket.
12. The Morning-After Texts
[rebelmouse-image 18352554 is_animated_gif=First date with a girl I met on Tinder. Great chemistry, great time, although she is checking the time frequently throughout the date I don't think much of it as it goes for 5 hours, night even ends with some making out and petting. Next morning I wake up to a flurry of text messages... turns out she had a boyfriend she was having troubles with and before she our date she dropped off her dog so he could babysit it. There they had sex right before our date and apparently she swallowed and didn't brush her teeth before leaving. And then I kissed her a few hours later.
13. The Date Cost An Entire Car
[rebelmouse-image 18356653 is_animated_gif=i took this artsy fartsy girl to a theatre for a play. cool whatever. afterwards we're walking back to my car and everything is going normal. small talk. she suddenly breaks down into tears and cries about missing her ex. guess we're not getting chinese food anymore. take her home. she lives in boonie-ville. foggy as hell at night. drop her home. never taking her on a date again. head back home. phone loses signal because boonie-ville. run a red light because thick fog and gps going apeshit. hit another car. total the car.
0/10 would not go out again with an artsy girl who was secretly still stuck on her ex at the cost of an entire car.
14. Recovering Ass-coholic
[rebelmouse-image 18356654 is_animated_gif=A guy I met online.. can't remember which site, but he scheduled the date at a bar - not even a restaurant, a BAR. A bar that didn't even serve food. He was apparently a recovering alcoholic so he only ordered Cranberry juice but he failed to tell me that until after I had already ordered a glass of wine.
Why on EARTH would you invite someone to a BAR if you're an addict? The entire thing was so bizarre to me and on top of it he turned out to be a complete ass.
He ended up leaving and wanted to walk me back to the metro and I basically said "no thanks I'll stay here for a bit." He was shocked/offended.. don't know.. but finally left. When he left the bartender immediately came over and was like "holy shit that guy was a DOUCHE!" took care of my tab and gave me another on the house. So there was at least a silver lining.
15. Neckbeard
[rebelmouse-image 18356656 is_animated_gif=So, I've read a lot about neck beards on here. I've never seen an actual neck beard in person, however. Then I went on a Bumble date with this physical therapist.
The beard growing out of his neck, alone, killed any desire that I had. I get it now, everyone.
16. Bathroom Zoom
[rebelmouse-image 18356657 is_animated_gif=The girl claimed that she was going to pay her half. When the check comes she asks to use the bathroom. 10 (awkward) minutes go by and right when I'm about to text her she zooms out of the restaurant leaving me with the check.
17. Table For Two ... Plus Thirty More
[rebelmouse-image 18356267 is_animated_gif=I asked a girl in my APUSH class out on a date a few years ago, we had all the details set in stone, and I showed up to find out she invited the 30 other people from the class. I had to sit through an hour and a half of the "class lunch" which she gave me credit for organizing and pretend that I didn't think it was gonna be a date the whole time. Ouch.
18. Don't Drink? Don't Pub!
[rebelmouse-image 18356658 is_animated_gif=With some girl I was talking to online who agreed to meet in a pub but then only ordered lemonade after lemonade whilst me (as the heavy drinker that I am) was just downing pint after pint amidst her cringe worthy attempts at starting conversation that went absolutely nowhere.
Clearly neither of us were comfortable but there didn't seem to be a socially acceptable way of ending it so when we walked around an art gallery in Camden that had a bar and I disappeared off to get a drink and she didn't bother trying to find me afterwards that ended it good enough and it strangely turned into a pretty awesome night drinking with random people.
tl;dr: If you aren't a drinker don't agree to meet someone in a pub. It is only going to end badly.
19. Ignoring Your Date Is A Bad Idea
[rebelmouse-image 18356660 is_animated_gif=Girl and I went out for our... second? or maybe third? date. We were going to see a movie with a bunch of her friends, and then hang out after at a Dairy Queen or something. Cool. Well, she was only interested in me until her friends showed up... spent the time waiting for them just bitching about her coworkers, then when they showed up basically ignored me the rest of the evening. I introduced myself and chatted with a couple of her friends while she sat with the rest at the next table over.
Apparently she thought the date went really well, she leaned in for a kiss when I was saying goodbye and I wasn't feeling it at all so I went for the awkward hug instead. Later told her I wasn't feeling any chemistry between us and she seemed a bit confused why...
20. Never Been Dated
[rebelmouse-image 18356661 is_animated_gif=My worst experience is that I've never been on a date
H/T: Reddit
Being a parent isn't for everybody.
That is a life lesson well learned.
Not everybody wants to have kids.
That maybe hard to believe, but the sooner we learn, the better.
If you want kids, please have them, just be sure and ready.
It's a hard journey.
Raising my dog has been stress enough.
Maybe if some of you hear why others don't want kids, you'll appreciate yours more.
Redditor Celestialsmoothie28 wanted to discuss why many of us don't want to bring a new generation into the world, so they asked:
"People who don't want kids, why?"
I will never have kids. You're all welcome.
Who Cares?
"Why would I want kids? Personally, I can’t think of a single compelling reason to have them. Kids deserve a parent who wants them, not someone who just tolerates them."
Worried-Medicine-664
“test out”
"Kids are a lifelong commitment to raise and care for another human, and I don’t think I’m capable of handling that. I like kids, but I don’t think I could raise one well, so I’m not going to try."
boymanpal
"Agreed. Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child. For those who think 'if you never try you never know”' are just plain selfish. So you’re gonna bring a kid to this world just to 'test out' if you can be a good parent?"
"You should know yourself better than anyone beforehand, whether you can be a good parent. I certainly not gonna use a person’s life for my own amusement since I know I wouldn’t be able to give the best to the child."
pronocturnalfreak
Learn Sooner
"I grew up with a brother 10 years younger than i am. Went from changing his diapers to teaching him how to mod Minecraft."
"Left to go to college. I call him nearly every night, and we still watch anime an play video games together through discord calls."
"I already had my kid. He's called my little brother. Just wish I understood my family's financial situation sooner."
oxidezblood
Be Prepared
"As a parent, I always tell people that wanting the responsibility is the most important part. My baby daddy and I separated, but we co-parent so well, people are always shocked. We work together well because we both know we planned to have a child and raise her together, despite the status of our personal relationship."
kailsbabbydaddy
The responsibility! The biggest lesson of all.
My Life... My Rules
"I enjoy freedom, I enjoy my relationship exactly as it is, I have a major fear of being pregnant, I like having money. Oh and I don’t like babies or kids. The reasons are endless."
Feeling_Ad_2354
Issues of a Saint
"I struggle with anxiety and anger issues and I wouldn’t want to pass that on to my child or have them have to grow up dealing with my anxieties and anger episodes. I just couldn’t do it and it wouldn’t be fair to them. Plus it’s real expensive. I’d rather have a life of peace and quiet and travel to figure myself out. To the moms: you guys are tough saints."
shoppingforthemoon
Stability Fail
"I have back and hip issues that would have made carrying a child (and then also literally carrying a child) difficult. I like my free time and expendable income. I didn't feel like I was in a stable enough place financially, wasn't with the right partner at the right time, never had baby fever."
"I look around at the world, and have no desire to bring another life into this s**t show."
wirwarennamenlos
Today's Drama
"In this economy?"
besameput0
"I'd also like to add. Into this world? Our age pyramid is upside down. Only way to fix to is either by overpopulation, or bracing for difficult times for a while until it fixes itself."
"It isn't like I dislike children, at work I love to take care of them. But I don't have the heart to bring in any more. Otherwise, if my life situation would be better, I would totally love to foster or adopt. There are so many children who don't get parents."
Valtremors
Just... WHY?!
"Why would I want one? I get that it is the social default, but in a vacuum it sounds terrible. I barely feel like I have my sh*t together, and I never feel like I have enough time to do the things I want to do."
"Why would I want to give up on my free time entirely to raise a kid? Children are fine in small doses, but they are exhausting, stressful and the benefits seem minimal. I guess the biological drive skipped me."
notaninjashhhhh
Not everybody is meant to be a parent.
Know your truth.
People Confess Whether The Number Of Someone's Previous Sexual Partners Matter To Them While Dating
Sex. Let's have a frank discussion.
Most of us have it. And many of us have had it with several different people over time.
That shouldn't be a difficult truth to discuss.
So let's talk numbers.
Do we all have a number that is too high to accept from a partner?
Are the numbers none of our business as long everything turned out fine?
Reddit had some thoughts.
Redditor LaRata59 wanted to discuss everybody's past sexual history, so they asked:
"Does the amount of sexual encounters your partner has had matter to you? Why or why not?"
If you're willing to be intimate with a partner, you should be open to having difficult conversations.
Keep Quiet
"I don’t mind, but ten minutes after sex I don’t want to hear your last girlfriend was 24 when you’re 42. Or hear how awesome sex was with your ex-wife, or how great sex was in Guam with your ex-girlfriend."
amscraylane
Painful Partners
"I would care only because my wife and I have been together since high school and we both should have 1 partner each... each other. So if that's not true it would be a problem."
TreesusChrist47
"Same here but 4 years a go my wife had a brief affair and I'm still struggling to get past it since we are still together (of sorts)."
jimbojetset35
"Me too. I found out 2 years ago. I think about it every day, I’m definitely not past it. We are still together and have been for 18 years. It has really destroyed me."
makerofshoes
I was convinced...
"So long as they haven't run through my entire friend group, I don't care."
"A few years ago, I started to worry about a girl in our friend group that I suspected of having an eye on my boyfriend at the time. I expressed that to him, and he reassured me of the fact that he had several girlfriends and that he was not attracted to her anyway."
"She was single and she liked to party a lot. He concluded by telling me 'anyways that girl, she slept with all my friends.' I was convinced. Well, guess what, he's now married and has two kids with her."
non_brad
Who Cares?
"As long as the count doesn't continue increasing during the relationship, it doesn't matter at all. I have a past, too."
Odd-You-6869
Who cares? Carry on...
Be Silent
"No but also don't want to know, so I never ask."
Male-37-Hi
"Yeah, as long as you're clean and not comparing me to past lovers. Also, I sure as f**k don't want to hear about them. I'm very visual, so I'm not trying to picture your previous sexcapades, thank you.
Wednesdayofthewoods
'wild period'
"I was seeing a girl that had a lot of guy friends. It would come to light that she had slept with all of them at one point. Co-workers, long time friends, boyfriends of her girlfriends etc. It's unnerving socially to know that so many people in the social circle you're joining has been with the person you're trying to have a relationship with."
"It would also come to light that she had a 'wild period' where she would hook up with 3-4 random guys in a week. I thought it was in the past so I looked the other way. But things like trauma, dissociation during intimacy, trust issues, bad boundaries with the opposite sex, judgment over your own sexual appetite etc were all becoming an issue."
"She eventually cheated while visiting family back home with someone she said had abused her physically and mentally. A lot of the times, it is a sign of someone who has serious mental health issues or very low self worth. Either case does not result in a healthy relationship and you should tread lightly."
HereToBeRated
Just Numbers
"No, to a point. To me, the past only matter in its ability to catch up to the present. If someone has had sex with 50 people but it never has a negative effect on our life together and she still enjoys sex with me, then it’s not a problem."
"However if someone has had sex with 5 people and all 5 are frequently coming back into her life and causing drama for both of us, or if she can’t enjoy sex with me due to comparing it to a past partner, then that it is an issue."
"So to me it’s not the number, but the affect of the number. With that being said, it’s not something I would ask about because typically if the past is going to be a problem there are better warning signs."
TheNatanist
Collections
"For me, a very introverted person, sex is one of the most intimate things in a relationship. And if the other person doesn't need the same emotional connection beforehand. I would feel just like another body in their 'collection.' But also I don't shame anybody partaking in the hookup culture. It's just not something for me."
justshynotathrowaway
Be Sure
"It does not matter to me however I’m still be cautious of STD/STI; so I’d prefer they get tested before we have sex."
OddReputation3765
The past is the past. Maybe let it be.
Redditors Explain Which Types Of People Get Treated With Less Sympathy Than They Deserve
CW: domestic violence.
People carry biases and false beliefs with them about a broad spectrum of things.
Unfortunately, some of those beliefs involve people, and those beliefs can limit or even hurt them.
Redditor anthropocener47 asked:
"What kind of people often get treated with less sympathy?"
"Just Lose Some Weight," They Say
"People who are overweight."
"There is this perception that all of my issues are because I am overweight."
- grumpydinosaur77
Male Survivors
"I'm a male who has been a victim of Domestic Violence, and let me tell you: People not only don't take you seriously, but they'll actually put you down."
"They'll talk s**t about you. They'll say you deserved it. They'll belittle you for getting beat up by a girl; god help you if you actually physically defended yourself in any situation where you were getting assaulted by a woman."
"The most I've ever done is restrain a woman when she was beating on me. And I've had people tell me that this was going 'too far' and that I should have just stood there and taken it. And I am NOT a little guy, which seems to make things worse."
"If you get your a** kicked, you're a b***h. If you defend yourself, you're the abuser. There's absolutely no winning in that situation."
"There is 100% no sympathy for male victims of domestic violence. It's sickening how uniformly society acts regarding this topic."
- ImPrblyWeird
Angry PTSD
"People who lose their temper when desperately trying to get people to understand that they have been abused."
"It’s actually a serious problem in courts that abuse victims look crazy and unstable because they do normal human things like express emotion and are often quite emotional and anxious after their abuse so they are perceived as untrustworthy, shifty, easily confused, erratic and liars."
"Meanwhile, their abuser is calm and collected and charming and comes off very well because why wouldn’t they, none of this affects them. They just lie and get away with it and are believed that they are the stable one and their victim is crazy and the real abuser."
- badgersprite
Those Seeking Self-Improvement
"People who made some bad choices in the past and are trying to better their lives."
- Ok_Win7358
The Bullied Kids
"Kids who are bullied."
"'Well, I didn’t see it happen.' No, because he did it when you weren’t looking. That’s the point."
- Pro_Gamer_Queen21
The Elderly
"As a kid, I visited my grandparents in assisted living facilities several times a week. These were dementia wards where no one knew who anyone was. No one knew where they were or why they were there."
"Easily 90% of the time, we were the only family there. No one visited their crazy parents because it was scary and depressing."
"It’s really fueled my wish to study dementia and work with people who have it. Often they have no one to look out for them."
- an_ineffable_plan
Smile More
"People that don't smile. My best friend is an absolute angel of a person but I've only seen him smile a few times over the last seven years. Traumatic events are a motherf**ker."
- rockonyou717
Chronically Ill
"Chronically ill and disabled people who don’t get 'better' after a few months (because that’s not how chronic illness or disability f**king works)."
- SolidChildhood5845
Themselves to Blame
"People with Lung Cancer or Type 2 Diabetes. The 'you did this to yourself' attitude."
- kategoad
An Unfair System
"People who stutter. People who are quiet. People with social anxiety. People who can’t speak English well. Men who don’t earn. Men who earn less. Women who can’t conceive. People with mental disabilities."
- Painkiller124
"People in 'unskilled' positions. Sure, a burger flipper or custodian doesn’t need a college degree, but unskilled does not equal not hard work."
"Having to prepare so much food in little time, deal with rude customers, and cleaning up stuff. The number of stories of people smearing poop on the walls. The stuff these people go through, people should feel sympathy."
- guzhogi
Mental Illness on the Job
"I have BPD (Bipolar Disorder) and have suffered from depression for over 20 years."
"I've been applying for jobs lately where it asks for disability declaration and specifically mentions mental illness and I still have a hard time selecting it for fear of not being believed or it costing me the job."
- Clayroo
Severe Anxiety
"I had a hard time sympathizing with people who suffer from severe anxiety. My attitude was always 'just deal with it, stress is temporary.'"
"Last summer there was a series of events that triggered unprecedented anxiety for me, I didn't eat for days at a time, barely slept, and could barely function at work. It was absolutely debilitating and felt completely uncontrollable."
"A week on vacation helped but it came back as soon as I got home. So I went to my doctor and he prescribed a few meds, which helped a lot."
"Now I understand that kind of crippling anxiety, and I'm a lot more sympathetic to those who struggle to manage it."
- EncanisUnbound
Invisible Illness
"I LOOK so incredibly healthy. But I'm not. I'm crippled for life, and I'm in pain from it until it kills me. I keep quiet about it, because I don't want attention on it and I don't like to waste my energy making noise about it."
"But some people who find out are very weird about it."
"I look like a cherub. A cute young girl, with rosy cheeks, a lil chubby, very short, with a baby face. And seemingly healthy as heck."
"In reality, I'm a grown woman who is crippled as f**k, in agony most days, has hidden open sores under my hair, and arthritis in every joint including my neck and spine."
"I'm on more medications than both your grandparents combined. We're probably on some of the same ones. And for some of the ones I'm on, their doctor would refuse to give them."
"I might not live very long. But I also might, hard to say."
"But those times I have to fight to be treated like a person really and truly suck. Because My pain makes other people feel uncomfortable."
- littlegingerfae
The Poor
"There's a real disdain towards poorer people like they should magically be able to make more money."
"For lots of people, they have disadvantages that make that more difficult, like a lack of education or support, lack of time, illness or disability, or even just being stuck in a neverending cycle and having to time/money/ability to get themselves out."
"For some others, they prioritize other parts of life over money, and there's nothing wrong with making that choice for yourself."
- cmc
The subReddit was left collectively shaking its head as the community thought about the various people who are often undervalued, underappreciated, and under-supported, simply because of who they are.
But the worst truth is that so many of these situations are unavoidable, like growing older or being ill. Even for those that could be corrected with time, like having more money, it would only make sense that supporting that person more would allow them to change their situation more quickly.
If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, help is available 24/7 at the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233. You can also find additional support and resources on their website: https://www.thehotline.org/
Men Explain How They'd Honestly React If Their Friend Came Out To Them
Coming out of the closet is an inconvenient rite of passage for anyone who has been suppressing their authentic selves for the comfort of their heterosexual acquaintances.
While there have been some advances made regarding LGBTQ+ visibility with role models who are out, it's still impossible to predict friends' reactions.
This is exactly why some tend to reconsider declaring their sexual identity.
Curious to hear from straight males online about what their reactions might be, Redditor Glittering-Ask-7298 asked:
"Men of reddit, what would you do if you found out your homie is gay?"
Some guys really appreciated hearing the news.
No Fanfare
"Nothing...I had this happen actually. I said congrats at first but then said 'that was a stupid response it's not like you're getting married.' We both laughed about my response and I told him I'm glad he felt comfortable telling me and that nothing changes between us if he thought it would."
– HUGE_duck_boots
It Started With A Homophobic Sister
"Had this happen to me as well. He’s been (and is still) one of my best friends since childhood. I had no idea, other than I had noticed he really never dated anyone to my knowledge. One day, I called his sister out for some homophobic stuff she posted on Facebook (I think it was about Lil Nas X), because I distinctly remembered her having several girlfriends in high school."
"My buddy texted me to send a virtual high-five and came out to me. I told him that it had honestly never occurred to me but made a lot of sense. He then went on to explain he had been in some relationships but kept them private for obvious reasons. I told him it meant a lot being one of the only people from our small town that he’s opened up to."
– CasperTek
Michael, We Know
"A buddy of mine years ago came out to a whole group of us at a dinner once and we were just like, 'uhhh... Yeah, Michael, we know.' And then like 10 minutes later one of the group just goes 'WAIT! Hold on. Michael, dude, did you just come out to us? Were you not out before??' Apparently he was not, or at least he didn't intend to be..."
– CO420Tech
Some straight male friends deserve more credit.
Heat Of The Moment
"My buddy came out to one of my friends. He pulled him a side at like an airport when they were traveling or something. Of course he never pulled someone aside IRL like that, so it seemed pretty nuts. And he and was like, 'I have something important I have to tell you. I'm gay.'"
"My friend was like, 'Jesus f'king christ. That's it? Don't scare me like that! I thought you were gonna tell me you had cancer or something.' Of course in the moment it was nothing but love for my pal, showing he was going to be loved and accepted. And that him being alive and in his life was what mattered most."
– ConvenienceStoreDiet
My Best Friend Isn't Dying
"My best friend did the same to me. I was living overseas and he told me he needed to talk to me about something important but we had a 13 hour time difference. I was so stressed thinking he was dying or something. Came out and I was like 'oh okay! You had me thinking you were dying of cancer!' We still joke about how dramatic it all was. Our group as a whole suspected he was gay but were letting him figure it out and tell us in his own time!"
– WhosThatLady9
Not A Big Deal
"My best friend came out in high school and was so worried about what people would think of him. He cried when I told him I accept him regardless of what his sexual or gender preferences are. I didn't really do anything about it because I'm not a homophobe :P"
– AdministrativeWar594
Here's the thing about true homies.
Added Benefit To The Friendship
"Most of my homies are gay. They help me not look homeless when we go out for dinner 😁."
– avero34
The Misconception
"Honestly that's the big fear of gay guys when coming out to their straight homie, like they'll just walk away from the friendship or be really unsupportive but if he does that he was never a homie to begin with."
– grandwizardElKano
Continue Being The Best Man
"this happened with my best friend actually. He was terrified to tell me, and in retrospect it saddens me because it meant I made him feel like there was a chance I would judge him for it. He's still my best friend today and was the best man at my wedding, so the answer is, continue to be the best friend you can be."
– IStanHam
Some levity goes a long way.
Calling Out His Relationship Status
"Stop making jokes about him not having a girlfriend and start making jokes about him not having a boyfriend."
– seafoamteal
Wicked Humor
"I had this happen to me, as well. I was like 'OH MY GOD, YOU EVIL GAY MAN! YOUR GAYNESS IS CAUSING ALL THE CROP FAILURES BECAUSE IT DISPLEASES THE LORD!' And then, naturally, we sacrificed him so that the rains would come."
– ultranothing
It turns out that LGBTQ+ people generally don't have much to fear when it's time to come out on their own terms to friends.
Their reactions will either reinforce the fact that the friendship has always been authentic or superficial.
If coming out results in revealing the latter example, well, it was time to clean house anyway.
Keep the real homies close. They'll always have your back.