19 Incredibly Creepy And Weird Mating Habits From The Animal Kingdom. I'm Now Asexual.
If you're looking at Hollywood, mating is a delicate dance full of romance. But in the animal kingdom, anything goes. Here are some insane mating habits from our fellow members of the animal kingdom that are almost too shocking to believe!
1/19. Ever heard of the sport fencing? Well flatworms take this to a whole new level! Mating rituals with flatworms are combination of both fighting and sex.
Flatworms are hermaphrodites; meaning they have both male and female sexual organs. However, during sex, neither wants to be the female. Why?
Females have to bear children - a task that has a huge energy cost.
So what do two flatworms do when they decide to mate? They expose their double-pronged penises and fight! Both try to stab the other with their members. The loser gets inseminated through the skin, now a mother-to-be.
2/19. Time to put an interesting twist on the story of 'Finding Nemo'.
Clownfish live in schools of only males with the exception of one large, dominant female. Only the dominant male of the colony mates with the female.
Here's the twist clownfish are something called sequential hermaphrodites. That means clownfish can switch sexes throughout their life history! All clownfish are born male, but if the dominant female dies, the dominant male of the group with start eating more, growing in size and becomes the new dominant female.
Sorry Nemo, your father is actually your mother!
3/19. Dolphins are loved for their astonishing intelligence and friendly manner. But as it turns out they're also sexual deviants.
Male dolphins are super sexually charged and can mate multiple times every single day. This means that male dolphins are rarely satisfied you might even catch one humping a turtle or piece of coral reef!
But for all his fancy sexual tricks, the male dolphin only lasts an average of 12 seconds. Not such a stud after all!
4/19. In the hyena world, females rule. Not only are they larger and stronger than the males, but also much more aggressive.
Their claim to fame is an enlarged clitoris, known as a pseudopenis, which can be erected at will. In order for males to mate with this formidable creature, they have to insert their own penis into the females pseudopenis.
5/19. See that honey bee flying around lazily, looking for pollen from a flower? You may associate that little guy with honey, but now you add exploding genitals to the list! The virgin queen goes on her first mating flight with a dozen or so drones (male bees), all of which want to mate with her. Then, as the lucky fellas go to mate with the queen, their genitals snap right off inside of her!
May seem gruesome, but in the evolutionary sense it's a plus because the broken off sexual organ provides as a genital plug. This stops others from successfully mating with the queen.
Unfortunately for the male drones who had an exploding incident, they die shortly afterwards. Rough, huh?
More insane animal mating rituals on the next page!
6/19. What's the best way to emerge from hibernation at the end of a long season? An orgy, of course!
Female red-sided garter snakes release a pheromone that causes all the male red-sided garters to come "running", wriggling around her until they become one big clump, known as a mating ball.
Red-sided garters are the original swingers!
7/19. Ah, giraffes! The majestic creatures of the African savannah. As it turns out, these long-necked animals have some very strange mating habits. First, males face off to fight for the chance to mate with a female. They engage in practice known as "necking", where they 'joust' with their necks. Afterwards this tiring process, the two males mate with each other! Love is love, am I right?
Next, the victorious male goes over to the female giraffe and nudges her backside, prompting her to pee. He then takes a mouthful of her urine to determine if she's in heat (fertile). If this lucky lady is ready to make babies, he'll follow her around until she's ready to mate.
8/19. Mating can be a waiting game, and on the top of that game is the Galapagos Giant Tortoise. It takes 40 YEARS for one of these guys to reach sexual maturity.
No wonder they're raring to get going! Males compete over females by comparing neck sizes the one with the longest neck wins. Mating can then last up hours, so excited to be finally having the chance to get down and dirty.
As they say, "slow and steady wins the race"!
Males that lose competition for the female can be found frustratedly humping a rock or another male giant tortoise.
9/19. Stabbing your mate may help with your reproductive success? Turns out the common Garden Snail lives it's life by this rule.
Prior to mating, garden snails engage in an elaborate dance that can last up to 6 hours. Then, as the dance comes to an end, the hermaphroditic slugs move their genital pores as close as possible to each other and... fire a huge calcified dart into the other snail! Named "love darts", these arrow-like projectiles are thought to increase the chance of the snail's sperm survival after mating.
Mating can be a dangerous game, especially if you're a little garden snail!
More insane mating habits from the animal kingdom on the next page!
10/19. It's hard to live the sweet life when you're a male anglerfish.
Already terrifying creatures (as shown below), anglerfish females are multiple times the size of male anglers. Not only that, but finding a mate is crucial for the male, as he will die without a female host.
When a male angler does comes across a female, he bites into her side, mouth fusing to her skin, where he essentially becomes a sperm sac for her to use at will. The male depends on the female for nutrients for the rest of his sexual parasitic life.
Talk about a clinger!
11/19. The female North American porcupine has an extremely low libido except for a period of 8-12 hours every year. When she's feelin' in the mood, she releases this odour in her urine that attracts male porcupine.
Excited males then must fight each other for the chance to mate with her. Then, the victor decides to go ahead and show his affection for the female porcupine by... spraying pee all over her!
If she's receptive, she'll force the male to mate with her mutliple times, or find another male if her current beau gets too tired.
12/19. The Magnificent Frigatebirds are large seabirds that are completely black with the exception of a large red spot under their throat. While trying to attract a cute female frigatebird during mating season, males inflate their red throat pouches into a huge red balloon a process which can take up to 20 minutes. The male with the largest and shiniest throat is the most desirable.
Then, waggle their heads back and forth while shaking his wings and squawking, they try and get the ladies' attention. If successful, after mating the male in an attempt to keep his lady from checking out other large throated males in the colony he covers her eyes with his wing.
13/19. Giant pandas are one of the most popular animals on the planet they're just so dang adorable! The only thing that beats out their extremely level of cuteness is their extreme level of laziness.
What contributes to giant panda's giant sense of laziness is having very little excess energy at their disposal. Although carnivorous in nature, 99% of their diet consists of bamboo, meaning that these cuddly idiots need to be constantly eating to gain enough energy of their massive form. Along with this and the stressors of being in captivity, giant pandas don't mate in captivity.
To get pandas in the mood, zoos have started showing these cute bears some x-rated panda porn with good results! Recently, there have been a number of breeding successes of giant pandas in captivity.
More hilarious and shocking mating habits on the next page!
14/19. Looking for a bit of romance in your life? Well look no further than oneof the most romantic animals on the planet the red velvet mite!
Males leave a little sac of sperm called a spermatophore on a leave or twig. Then, using a strand of woven silk, he creates an intricate path for the female to follow, leading to the sperm.
These paths are like little pieces of art, and the female will follow the trail of the"artist" she likes best!
15/19. A sure fire way to impress a lady is to have a sweet pad. Bowerbirds are no exception to this rule.
Male bowerbirds construct elaborate nests to attract their mate. Collecting colorful flowers, rocks and sometimes even garbage, they create a beautiful oasis for the perspective females.
These guys are the original interior decorators!
16/19. Ever thought, "hey, sex could be way more exciting."? Well argonauts (a type of octopus) would have to disagree.
Males are much smaller than the females of the same species. They only really have one chance to reproduce so they have to do it right! Filling one of their tentacles with sperm, the male inserts it into the female then it detaches.
Yep, the male leaves the tentacle inside the female! Guess the much larger females are just too intimidating for the tiny males to handle.
17/19. Trying to find a partner can be such an annoying process. Well the whiptail lizard has completely removed that from the equation all whiptails are female!
That's right, there's no sex in creating offspring, it all happens asexually. Therefore, essentially all whiptail lizards are clones of their mother!
Reproduction may not include sex exactly, but in order to stimulate egg production, females take turns mounting each other.
18/19. We've all heard the phrase "size matters". Well this especially holds true for the banana slug. Although all of these hermaphroditic slugs are well endowed with appendages as long as their body, if their junk is not similar size to the body of their partner, it will become stuck!
And once their stuck, the most common way for them to get free is by their angry partner chewing their genitals off.
Better safe than sorry, fellas.
Yes, us. With all of the odd online dating rituals and complex flirting practices, any alien race stopping by would certainly say "WTF".
People Reveal The Turnoffs That Make Them Not Want To Have Sex With Their Significant Other
Sex and relationships can be very dramatic.
It's not always fun and sweat. More often than not, it turns into wine and snores.
The truth is, it's not difficult to turn someone off.
One minute you're a hot dish. The next, you're stale meatloaf.
The question is, who is responsible?
Or is this relationship dead?
Redditor NeedSomeSparkInLife wanted to know who would be willing to share, so they asked:
"What makes you not want to be intimate with your SO?"
I'm an easily turned off person.
So it doesn't take much.
DesireBored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"Taking a moment to realize I'm the only one that makes sexual advances in the relationship. Makes me not want it. People think men only want sex for face value but a lot of men actually want the feeling of being desired more so."
"I've always heard of fighting then having sex after. Fighting has always made me not want it. The last thing I want to do when someone pisses me off is have sex with them. What made it worse is she always wanted to when we were arguing which made the argument worse when I refused."
"I think you're supposed to resolve your fight, realize that you care for each other a lot, move past it, then have the passion because of that. Not fight right into sex."
Take a Shower
"My ex and I were together for nearly 7 years, but his hygiene never improved, so we stopped being intimate like, 3 years before I finally broke up with him. He showered only once a week, but he worked in kitchens, so he was sweaty and greasy all the time."
"He had an infected tooth, so he constantly had bad breath, but he refused to visit a dentist, even when he had the money to afford dental work. He stopped working out within the first year of us being together, which sucked because he would get jealous if I went to the gym by myself or with my girlfriends, but he refused to come with me."
"Personally, the only issue I have is my SO's drinking. He just becomes an unattractive person when he's drunk. It's one thing if we're both out socializing and drinking together occasionally, but he drinks almost every day, sitting on the couch in front of the TV and to the point of sloppy drunkenness way too often. His face changes, his posture changes, his personality changes... I just get so turned off."
Hang UpArt Hello GIF by LINDSEY L33Giphy
"When they are glued to their phones non stop! Put that s**t down and look at me before we go to bed!"
"I really dislike this too. Makes me feel alone in the relationship."
No phones in bed. Hard rule for many of us to follow.
Step BackBe Quiet Go Away GIF by Ryn DeanGiphy
"When I make a move, and then get the feeling she's not really in the mood/would only do it to please me. I want us both to have a good time, not only me. So when she seems not into it, I take a step back."
"To be brutally honest, her anxiety and insecurity makes sex such a hassle. She doesn’t believe anything I say about wanting her, she can almost never relax during sex, she doesn’t take time to enjoy it, and if God forbid I have any trouble finishing, she takes it more personally than anything, which of course puts more pressure on me to finish, which then makes it almost impossible."
When at Wal-Mart
"When they’ve done something really nasty/unkind that day. Cruelty is the most ugly thing a person can show, in my eyes. I had a boyfriend that I went to Wal-Mart with and he ended up flipping off and storming right past the sweet little old man that checks the receipts at the door."
"It was partially about how I used to check receipts and I remembered how I felt when people treated me like that- but I also remember the look on the little old man’s face and just how disgusted I was with my partner being so nasty about it."
"I couldn’t touch him after that and I got grossed out when he touched me. And then I started to notice how he was nasty to other people as well. It eventually led to our break up."
33 Years In
"My husband used to dislike his job - he’d come home and do nothing but bi**h. After awhile, I just gave up trying to cheer him up with sex - you can only try so long. So, we had a long dry spell - like, whatever you think a dry spell would be, it’s longer. When someone is constantly annoyed, well, it’s hard to feel amorous."
"Anyway, he early retired (54) like a month before Covid kicked in and by autumn that year, well, let’s just say we’re back to what we were like when we first met. He’s not pissed off all the time. (I’m retired as well, and let’s just say, afternoon nookie is such a perk, as is morning nookie and 3am nookie because you can sleep in!) I’m glad we stayed together. Going on 33 years and we’re just so happy."
RageAngry Inside Out GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Feeling angry. I hate feeling angry. I don't like being around other people when angry. So I'll go for a walk, a drive etc, and just clear my head."
It seems like "dead bed," as some folks call it, can stem from many things, from mood, attraction, hygiene, and more.
Do you have anything to add to this list? Let us know in the comments.
People Who Have Accidentally Sent A Nude Photo To The Wrong Person Describe The Fallout
Whether everyone would actually admit it or not, most people live on their phones.
They can take care of last-minute work tasks on the go, confirm plans with friends via text, and entertain themselves while scrolling through multiple social media pages.
However, one must be super cautious and focused when juggling between all those open apps.
Because being a multi-tasker comes with a risk that involves mixing private and public lives with unintended, and very embarrassing, effects.
Curious to hear from strangers about a more NSFW faux pas, Redditor sollyman7999 asked:
"Ever sent a nude to the wrong person? what happened, how did they respond?"
Families can be close-knit but even they can have their hard limits.
"Sent a d*ck pic to my family whatsapp group instead of my girlfriend, who requested it. I got a lot of laughs from my sisters, a well done from my father, and not a single word from my mother, who to this day denies it happened. It was a horrible experience."
Sis Came To The Rescue
"I was meaning to text my boyfriend the picture, but must have still been in the iMessage chat to my dad at the time, and sent it without checking. Seeing that the nude had been texted to my dad, I immediately called him — I was going to ask him to delete the pictures, and that they were inappropriate and were supposed to go to my boyfriend. That way he wouldn’t see the images themselves; he would just know I had taken nudes. Somehow, by the grace of God, my SISTER answered his phone, as she was living at home at the time. I begged her for help, and she was able to delete the images off his phone. My dad never knew the incident ever occurred. I asked my sister how I could repay her, and she asked me to never ever bring it up again. I owe her one, eternally!"
"I was 26 at the time. Just shaved my junk. It was looking mighty presentable, so I decided the GF needed to see. I mistakenly sent it to my older brother. He replied with, 'I don't think that was meant for me.' I died a little inside. It was never spoken of again."
"Not me but my wife. She has sent a very explicit nude of hers to her mother instead of me."
"End result; 'Masallah, you're beautiful' as response from my mother-in-law, then similar responses from her sisters and sisters-in-law because yeah, her mother forwarded it."
Leaders got more than they ever expected.
The Boss Gets A Surprise Message
"I accidentally sexted my Boss thinking I was talking to my Husband. He send back 'I don’t think this was meant for me' I sent him the biggest apology ever and we never spoke about it ever."
"I did the same thing with my platoon sergeant. D*ck pic with the caption 'love you' that was supposed to go to my ex. He just replied 'I like you, but this isn't love.'"
Pay attention to which social media app you're using.
"Cute Lil Boobies"
"I have one like this that haunts me. When Instagram FIRST came out, like before I had ever even heard anyone talking about it, I thought it was a new photo editing app that let you put cool filters on your phone pictures and kept a little album for you, like any normal photo editing app would do. Keep in mind back then there wasn't really social media centered around pictures so I had no concept of that. I took some nudes on there and put lil filters on them and stuff and sent them to a boyfriend, then didn't think of it again"
"MONTHS later I get a text from a (very kind) ex saying 'did you know your cute lil boobies are on Instagram and everyone can see them?' I was mortifiedddd lol. Apparently he could find my profile because it recommended it via contacts or something, which I also had no concept of at that time, not many socials did that back then. So I have no idea how many people saw those pictures. Oops."
"To add insult to injury I wasn't signed into the account anymore so I was DESPERATELY trying to remember what email and password would get me in."
For All To See
"Sent to the wrong person? No"
"Posted to my facebook feed? Yes"
"Few family members unfriended me, got a few DMs asking did I realize what I did, two DMs asking if I had more (not family - before you ask)"
"I did once some years back. I (f) sent a snap to (f co-worker). I had absolutely no idea until I got a snap from her telling me I looked nice and asked if she was supposed to return the favor. Told her it was completely up to her but it was an accident! She sent me one back anyways. We left it at that and we would bring it up every once in a while and just giggle about it. Haven't seen her since I left that job but this question definitely brought this memory back lol."
"EDIT: I made this comment, went to bed, and didn't think about it this morning until I opened reddit not long ago. I was reading the comments and yall were making me laugh! It's so weird to have the most upvoted comment be me about sending a nude to a co-worker lol"
And for others, it's all intentional.
Just Playing With The Homies
"The homies and I used to just randomly send each other photos of our family jewels and then make fun of them for looking. I miss it more and more every day."
No recipient was harmed during this incident. I have multiple text threads, and it's very confusing to respond to one in which certain friends are also on other message threads.
One time I responded to a group thread explaining to them that I was going to come up with an excuse to back out of another invite mentioned on a different thread.
I guess I should have double-checked which thread I was sending it to because I informed the wrong thread of my plan.
At least there weren't nude photos involved.
My heart goes out to those who've shared their embarrassing stories here.
Let them serve as reminders to confirm your messages before tapping "send."
People Reveal The Sketchy Traps Tourists Should Look Out For While Visiting Europe
When people talk about living life to the fullest and having independent, solo experiences, they often reference the importance of traveling internationally to experience more of the world.
But in the midst of describing the wonders of traveling in another country, they fail to detail the things that could go wrong, or how a local might try to scam an unknowing and unprepared tourist.
Curious specifically about this phenomenon in Europe, Redditor subuubalaa asked:
"What should people avoid while traveling to Europe?"
The Fines Can Be Incredibly Steep
"Another thing which primarily applies to Giethoorn, but also any place in general."
"STAY OUT OF PEOPLE'S YARDS."
"For those who don't know, Giethoorn is a small village where instead of streets there are canals. It is quite a tourist attraction where they can rent boats to travel through the canals. However, some people fail to comprehend that it's still an actual village and people live in the houses."
"It has occurred on multiple instances that tourists walked into the gardens of residents to take pictures."
The Menu Should Speak For Itself
"Avoid any restaurant that tries to strong-arm you into entering."
"Watch out for pickpockets in Western Europe. There is a stigma that Eastern Europe like Romania and Bulgaria is dangerous but pickpocketing happens more in Paris, Amsterdam, Barcelona, etc."
Just Keep Walking
"Street scammers in Paris, anywhere really, I just mostly see it in Paris."
Keep an Eye on Your Stuff
"I hung my purse over the back of my chair at a restaurant on my first day in Bangkok."
"We were eating dinner and my tour guide came over to where I was sitting, and he was holding my purse. He asked if it was mine, and I said yes. Then he told me that he saw some guy take it but he was able to get it back before they left the restaurant with it."
"Turns out my guide was the 'guy' who took it to teach me a lesson. He did this to a couple of other people in our group to encourage us to be careful with our stuff. I spent the rest of the trip white-knuckling my purse so it worked for me!"
Your Future Looks Expensive
"In Sevilla, they hang around the cathedral. A woman will walk up and hand you a flower, then insist on telling your fortune. Just drop it and walk away."
Seriously, Protect Your Belongings
"Do not put your bag/purse/backpack on the back of your chair when you sit down to eat, especially outside."
"Thieves look for this, in groups of three or four. One of them will come from one side of you as a snatcher, and the rest will stand in a group very close to you taking or smoking, etc., pretending that they don't know the snatcher."
"Then the one guy will snatch your item, and run right through the group, in case someone is quick enough to chase. They will 'accidentally' be in your way."
"Happened in Rome, but locals recognized it and broke it up."
"A guy tried to do the bracelet trick to me, but I knew it and told him no before he tried anything. He jabbed me in the side as I walked passed. I was so p**sed."
No Directions Needed
"Also: DO NOT STOP to 'help' people asking for directions. You're a tourist, you look like a tourist, and you're the last person someone would legitimately ask for directions."
"They're trying to get you to stop so they can pickpocket you. It's usually a woman, too, looking 'helpless.' Just keep moving."
"Be careful if you encounter the fake disabled people in Venice. My dad fell into that trap. A guy pretending to have a limp and speaking disability came up to us and asked for money. I switched to Dutch and told my dad not to give him any. My dad gave him a 20 euro banknote."
"The guy walked away without a limp and started talking without issues a few meters away."
Try to Blend In
"Avoid letting the taxi know you don't know where you are or where you are going, the bad ones will drive you in circles and run the tab up."
"Also, one thing that opened Germany up for me while stationed there was one interaction. I would ask in German, 'Sprechen sie englisch,' do you speak English, followed by 'Mine Deutsch ist schei**e,' my German is s**t."
"Everyone from women at the bar to elderly people would laugh hysterically and then immediately switch to English in good spirits. They just like to see you try, and then they are more than happy to help you out."
"So my advice would be to learn a quick-fire phrase that you can pop off too quickly to avoid fumbling and starting the interaction on a bad foot."
Scamming the Scammers
"I managed to find one of the bracelets they peddle on the ground midway through my trip. Threw it on every day when I was out in public and didn’t get hounded at all after that."
"I assume they probably thought I was a fool already caught in the trap, but man, the peace of mind was great!"
Please Be Polite
"Don't assume that everything will be open during the hours you'd expect in your home country. This is true no matter where you're going. It varies by country and region, but in my experience, grocery stores, banks, post offices, etc., had much more restricted hours than they do in the US."
"In the US, it's rare for a grocery store to close before 9 PM, if it's not open 24 hours. In Europe, it's normal for grocery stores to close quite early, and for things to be closed on weekends, though this varies by country."
"Also, mind your manners. In America, you can often skip over the formalities without being seen as rude. In Europe, this is much harder. Be more direct about what you want, and more polite about requesting it."
"Part of what perpetuates the unfortunate 'rude American' stereotype is that Americans tend to find European manners blunt, and Europeans tend to find American manners invasive."
Stuff Can Be Taken from Anywhere
"Don't leave stuff lying around anywhere. Don't put your stuff next to you on the table if you're sitting outside at a restaurant. Someone can just run up to you from behind, grab the phone/wallet and run away."
"Don't leave stuff in a rental car."
"Don't even put stuff in the trunk of the rental car after you park it. I've heard that in some touristy places, thieves will employ local kids to sit at the parking lots and see who puts their camera, laptop, or purse in the trunk of the car before walking away."
It's All About Playing It Smart
"I've seen it in Paris, France, Barcelona, Florence... any popular tourist destination is going to have pickpockets."
"These scams vary, and you should read about them before you go so you're aware. Some of the ones I've seen:"
"1. People in costumes (mostly Roman centurions) will accost you for pictures with them, and demand an absurd amount of money for the pictures."
"2. People will shove an object or a flower into your hands and then demand money. You may have to very aggressively say 'no.'"
"3. Someone will approach you with a map and ask for directions (their accomplice is behind you while you're distracted, and helping themselves to your stuff)."
"4. Someone will lay out paintings on the ground near monuments like cathedrals, and when you inevitably step on one (because you're looking up at the Duomo, not at the ground) they'll demand an absurd amount of money for the painting you just stepped on."
"Basically, you just have to understand that if you're a tourist in a city, no one is going to have a good reason to talk to you. No one needs directions from you, no one needs a petition signature from you, and anyone trying to stop and talk to you in a major tourist destination is likely a scam."
"If you do get into a situation where someone is demanding money from you (maybe you stepped on a painting or took that ill-advised picture with the Centurion) just say, 'Okay, let's go find a police officer, and I will pay you in front of the police officer.' That usually gets them to back down quickly."
"You may have to be aggressive about not letting people touch you or put something on you. My husband had to yank his arm away from someone trying to tie a bracelet on him outside of Castel Sant'Angelo. I had to quickly move away from someone shoving a rose in my lap on the Spanish Steps."
"And also, watch your stuff. Don't absentmindedly sling your purse over the back of a chair. Don't leave your phone on the ground next to you while you have a picnic on the Seine."
"I have a black purse by PacSafe that has some anti-theft features, like a lock so I can lock it to a chair at a cafe and a lock on the zipper so it can't be easily zipped open. Sure, a determined person could break into the purse, but it's all about not being an easy target. It's enough of a deterrent that if someone does try to help themselves to the contents of my purse, it'll be too much trouble and they'll go pick someone else."
"That being said, don't let the fear of being pickpocketed deter you from traveling! Rick Steves has a story about a family that had their passports and thousands of dollars stolen from them immediately upon arrival in Amsterdam, and they still had an amazing trip. Just be aware and have a plan in case the worst happens."
A lot can happen while you're traveling, and while being stolen from or scammed could easily happen in your hometown, there's something about suddenly being without your possessions or having to pay a hefty sum of money when you're in new territory.
But as the very last Redditor in this thread pointed out, this shouldn't stop you from traveling the world! As long as you are well-prepared and stay alert, you should be able to have a wonderful journey.
Sometimes, in order to find the love of our lives, we have to explore what's out there.
Often encountering people who we know fairly early on are just not a good fit.
In some cases, they're perfectly nice people but don't ignite the spark in us and lack any kind of chemistry.
Then there are those who truly astound us, and not in a good way.
The sort of people where describing them as "not the sharpest knife in the shed" would be an understatement.
Sometimes, this is clear from the minute we meet them. Other times, the realization comes a bit later.
"People of Reddit, what was your “I’m dating a f*cking idiot” moment?"
"Watched a doc that explained how sharks have electricity receptors which they use to hunt. he said 'that's not possible'."
"Sharks are supposedly millions of years old but we only invented electricity a hundred years ago'."- Key-Lie250
If You Have To Prove It...
"He thought the outlet plug covers (for childproofing) meant the outlet was out-of-order."
"He literally had nothing plugged into the walls of his entire living room."
"He also mentioned how smart he was any chance he got.... usually a prime indicator."- Airport_Fart
It's Certainly A Hustle. HOWEVER...
"He kept applying for jobs and getting denied instantly."
"At the time, I didn’t understand and was upset for him."
"Come to find out, this 26-year-old was applying for jobs driving armored trucks for banks."
"With a record for stealing money from cash registers."
"I didn’t know at the time that he had ever been arrested, but this man literally had robbery and theft on his record, and couldn’t understand why an armored truck company wouldn’t hire him."- cathherine
When It Rains, It Pours...
"My ex didn't think it rained over the ocean because there was enough water there already."
"She was shocked it rained when we were on a cruise."- 1_disasta
Let's Hope She Didn't Test This Theory...
"How alcohol content percentage works."
"We argued for months that 10% as alcohol content remains the same even if you halved the bottle."
"She said nope, if you halved the bottle then the alcohol content would be 5%."
"Engineer graduate that too."
"She works for a software firm."
"For 12 years."
Some People Just Don't Grasp The Concept Of Math...
"My ex thought he could play hockey and found what he thought were the holy grail of skates."
"He bought them for $200 (I don't know the price as it was a long time ago)."
"His friend, who lived in a city an hour and 20 minutes away, told him he got the same skates for $195."
"So my ex, in his old Camaro that cost $50 in gas round trip, returned the skates he got for $200 and drove 1 hour and 20 minutes to get the skates that were $5 cheaper."
"That should have been the biggest red flag."
"But sadly, it turned out I was the f*cking idiot who stayed with him for a few more years."- Flipgirlnarie
"I had to explain to a grown woman that 20% is not always $20 when converted to currency."- DahvRom
"Was just lounging about one Sunday and skiing came on the TV."
"At one point the commentator said that contestants reached 100 km/h at that point in the race."
"The ex literally shouted bullsh*t at the telly."
"I looked at her and asked why..she replied that there was no way that they could tell how far they'd go in an hour since the race was only two minutes long."
"Another time, 'I have an aunt who lives in London, is that near England'."- Allydarvel
One Step Behind
"I introduced him to my stepsister."
"He said, 'weird, you guys look nothing alike'."- Saminotsammy
Get Out Of My Kitchen!!!
"He was trying to make cookies and kept opening the oven for extended periods of time, letting out all the heat."
"When I told him he was letting all the heat out by opening the door wide open and staring at the cookies, he told me I didn't know how ovens work because the temp setter said 400 so it was 400."
"Took an hour to bake 1 sheet of cookies and said 'I don't know why it's taking so long'."
"Also insisted on doing this on Thanksgiving, tying up my oven and was pissed off when he found out the turkey would take 3hrs to cook."
"As I'm sure you can imagine... Did not work out."- pocket4129
Liking Them Doesn't Make You One Of Them...
"It was when vampire-related shows and movies were in the height of their popularity."
"He became obsessed with vampires."
"When we would go outside, he started to act like the sun was hurting him, and he would shield his face with his hands while groaning in pain."
"Think of Jim from The Office with his vampire prank... only he was more dramatic... and serious."- not-a-real_username
Some Like It Hot...
"When he left the window open in the middle of summer because the air conditioning made the house too cold."
"He didn’t turn off the air conditioner and argued that it wouldn’t have made a difference."- Lovable_Minion
Dogs Do Love Car Rides...
"I went on a couple dates with a woman who owned two large energetic dogs."
"When she bought them she was informed that she'd need to walk them every day to get them exercise and burn off energy."
"To save time, instead of walking them she'd take them for a drive and thought that accomplished the same thing."- diiejso
So Much For Going Green...
"We drove past a windmill on a windy day."
"She commented how it was too windy out and they should turn the windmill down."
"She was dead serious..."- ink4n3
Washington And Jefferson Do Look Sort Of Alike... Don't They?...
"She found a coin in the couch and exclaimed 'WOW this is a REALLY big nickel'
"To which I responded 'That's because its a quarter'."- 404-soul-not-found
As Forest Gump once said, "stupid is as stupid does," so intelligence doesn't always go hand in hand with kindness and generosity.
Nor can we be too sure that these instances are what ultimately led to these relationships coming to an end.
Though, one can't blame someone for dumping anyone who thought they'd turned into a vampire...