People Break Down The Animal Mating Rituals That They're Glad Humans Don't Do
Animals and humans are more similar than you think. However, what truly sets us apart is how we reproduce. If there's anything that the movie Grease 2 taught me, it's that humans are the only animals capable of controlling their number of offspring. All the other animals--well, they just kinda go with their instincts.
Some of the mating rituals are truly strange. Reddit user Chewy-SourMilk asked:
What is an animal's mating ritual you're glad humans don't have?
As a woman who is catcalled often, part of me wishes that some of the rituals meant to keep men away could be adapted for humans. Others may not think so.
Truly a tango with death.
“Scorpion males are smaller than females and are often hunted by them. In order to reproduce the male must lock pincers with the female and then drop a packet of sperm on the ground. He must then maneuver the much larger female over the packet so that she gets the sperm inside of her.
This whole time the female is trying to eat the male who, after his tango with death must run away or become lunch.”
Fairly certain I have seen human men do this.i'm single love & hip hop GIF by VH1Giphy
“In 2019 researchers found that the song of the male white bellbird can reach levels of up to 125 decibels. This makes it the loudest bird ever recorded to date, crushing the previous record holder, the screaming piha (which has been recorded up to 116 dB).
The worst/best part (depends on how you look at it) is that it performs at its loudest when the female is on the same branch, screaming right at her, which is enough to even cause hearing damage in the female. Imagine walking into a bar, and just screaming at the top of your lungs, popping the eardrums of every girl in the bar, just to announce that you're single.”
Pretty metal, indeed.
“Anglerfish. Females are humongous compared to males, so rather than doing it the old fashioned way, the male will bite onto the female, his insides will slowly turn to mush, and he eventually fuses with the female, depositing sperm in the process. Pretty metal.”
Some of the things male animals will do to attract female animals are truly bizarre, and sometimes flat out disgusting. I’m glad most humans don’t do this. Key word: most.
Giraffes are freaks.
“Giraffes- the males repeatedly headbutt the females in the bladder until they piss themselves, then they taste the urine to see if the female is in heat."
Could you imagine if this was standard for human reproduction?Angry Tazmanian Devil GIF by Looney TunesGiphy
“Tasmanian devils. The male holds the female hostage in her own den until she becomes pregnant, which could be days. She does violently chase him from her den after she's pregnant. But I can't imagine those days trapped with him are pleasant.”
“Why does this sound like a bad fanfiction trope?”
“Hippos sh*t and twirl their tails propeller-style to impress their mates, and if Gloria is interested, she will take a dump on Moto-motos head, which is something I am glad Humans don't do.”
“Most humans don't do*”
Animal instincts continue to baffle me.
“Moose. They make a ditch, fill it with piss, trample around to make some delicious mud then splash around so it covers their whole body."
“I'm sure it's not the only thing Moose have tried over their evolution but it's one last-ditch effort at survival."
Somehow, animal mating rituals are usually just straight-up violent.
Seals are very intense, to say the least.Seal Hiccuping GIFGiphy
“Seals, when they hear a couple mating all the male seals nearby will try to join in to the action, during this frenzy males will fight and kill anything in their way including baby seals."
"Hey want to make a baby!?"
"Meh, already have one."
"Not anymore, you don't."
Definitely the least cute thing about cats.
“I heard boy cats have prickly penises. Like having sex with a cactus, no thanks."
Very happy this isn’t a human ritual.
“Ferrets. As cute as ferrets are, they have a horrible mating ritual.
Basically, the male ferret (called a hob), has to maul the everliving sh*t out of the female ferret (called a jill) to get her to ovulate.
If humans did this, is would make it a lot easier to avoid accidental pregnancy, but would also make it very obvious when a woman was trying to have a child.
‘Not sure if spousal abuse, or just trying to get pregnant’ would be a common sentiment.”
As complicated as dating for humans is, I'm very grateful that it doesn't require these weird and sometimes violent rituals. Although the next time I'm catcalled, I might have to hunt down the man that did it like scorpions do.
Mating is just awkward across species. But at least human men don't have cactus penises.
- People Debate Which Animal Would Reign Supreme If Humans Didn't Exist - George Takei ›
- People Explain Which Animals Are Far More Dangerous Than People Think - George Takei ›
- People Debate Which Adorable Animal Would Make A Horrible Pet - George Takei ›
- People Explain Which Animals Get An Undeserving Amount Of Hatred - George Takei ›
People Who Make Good Money And Don't Hate Their Jobs Explain What They Do For A Living
Few people earn a living doing what they love.
That's why those in the workforce call showing up for work "the grind"–which implies labor-intensive tasks for long periods of time.
However, there are situations in which employees love their jobs and don't even call their labor of love "work."
They just happen to earn money doing what they love. Who are these people? Where are these jobs?
Strangers online discovered what it's like for those who have it good when Redditor puffmonkey92 asked:
"People that don’t f'king hate their jobs and make a decent wage, what do you do?"
Those who work out in the field love the work they do.
"I work in a logyard in S Oregon. Log trucks come in and are unloaded. The load is rolled out on the ground, and I scale the logs. I measure the lengths and diameters, calculate the gross volume in board feet, and make deductions based on defects such as frost seams, insect damage, burn scars, lightning strikes, etc. I work outside, so it can be rough in the winter/summer, but it keeps me moving, and it's an interesting gig. Been doing it about 6 years now. AMA"
Working With Mother Nature
"National Park Ranger. Thirty-two years and counting. As with any profession, there are still bad days."
Working in near isolation is ideal for these Redditors.
Behind The Scenes
"I work in the pathology lab at a hospital. I process blood and biopsy samples onto microscope slides for the pathologists to read. I love it! I feel like I’m helping people, even though I never meet them and they have no idea who I am."
The Happy Statistician
"I’m a statistician and work with a government agency. I particularly really enjoy not having to interact with too many people."
Reliable Computer Expert
"I am the only IT guy for a family owned business. They know nothing about computers so as long as everything is running smoothly they leave me alone. I only put in about 45 minutes of actual work every week."
Movie-Watching All Day
"I’m a colorist. It’s like photoshop for movies. I love it. But I feel very lucky to have this job, and to be successful in the industry."
"I work as a housekeeper at a motel. I love my job. It allows me to work alone, I can listen to my music, and I enjoy making order out of chaos. Also, the money's pretty damn good. Because of the way our pay is structured, I make more than double the standard amount in this industry."
Some people prefer working in customer service, depending on the job.
Joy Of Seeing Satisfied Customers
"Electrician. It’s hard work most days, but satisfying seeing it all lit-up and functioning properly."
"Knowing my work will still be in service many years from now feels good, and seeing customers marvel at their new light fixtures looking great is a good feeling."
"I work at a pet store (only supplies, no animal sales) and make $18 CAD/hr. That might not sound 'decent' but it's better than minimum wage with no meaningful increase in responsibility (aka stress) compared to any other retail worker. In fact, my work environment is lower stress than any other retail/food job I've had and the owner has a keen interest in our well-being. Yearly raises, Christmas bonus, profit sharing, get paid our full scheduled shift if it's shortened or cancelled for weather, aiming to become a living wage employer with promises to increase wages beyond that so long as the business continues to grow."
"Plus no one asks 'why' if I turn down a shift or decline to stay later. Respect for personal time is huge. I'm treated like a human being, not a robot with no life outside work."
Keywords: Security & Freedom
"I’m an accountant for a bank."
"Good salary, great benefits, tons of PTO and all holidays off."
"It’s not particularly exciting, rewarding, or fulfilling but it gives me the security and freedom to make my life as exciting, rewarding and fulfilling as possible."
"I am a kennel attendant. I care for and feed both dogs and cats. One of my daily requirements if I have time to do it, is literally to play with a dog/cat or puppy/kitten. It’s called animal enrichment. It’s meant to help prepare them for a life outside the shelter. Doesn’t even feel like a job."
Based on the responses above, it's not unusual for people to find jobs that are fulfilling and make decent wages.
Unfortunately, many workers end up feeling stuck at their jobs because they are settling, but for good reason: the reasonable salary.
But if they're unhappy in spite of a good living wage, is that really the kind of life that's worth living?
There are always better alternatives. If you want to be unstuck, taking a leap of faith is very rewarding.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained right? Go out there and find your dream job!
People Break Down The Most Disturbing Wikipedia Pages They've Ever Come Across
Every now and then, who hasn't found themselves falling down a Wikipedia rabbit hole?
Even if the sources of information found on the page are dubious.
This doesn't stop people from using it as a quick source of information when necessary.
And with links to other pages readily available, people often find themselves learning information which was a far cry from their initial search.
Gaining information that these same people would no doubt be much better off having never learned.
"What is the most disturbing Wikipedia Page?"
"Albert Fish is so disturbing, I remember the first time I read about him I was literally nauseous."- Lazy-Day5802
"I find this as much depressing as disturbing."- YouKeepThisLove
List Of Youngest Birth Mothers
"I think the most heartbreaking thing is that that damn list is so long..."- AliyanaRose
Lawrence Bittaker and Roy Norris
"These guys are some of the worst of the worst."
"During the filming of Silence of the Lambs and working with former FBI agent John Douglas (author of Mindhunter) for some time, actor Scott Glenn thanked him and said how fascinating it was to have been allowed into his world."
"Douglas laughed and told Glenn that if he really wanted to get into his world, he should listen to an audio tape of serial killers Lawrence Bittaker and Roy Norris torturing, and murdering two teenage girls."
"Glenn listened to less than one minute of the tape, and has since said that he feels he lost a sense of innocence in doing so, and that he has never been able to forget what he heard."- sully-fied
The Murders of Channon Christian and Chris Newsom
"The Murders of Channon Christian and Chris Newsom page is pretty bad."- Apartment_Unusual
Less The End Result, More The Process
"It’s not the page that is disturbing, it’s thinking back to where you started and hour ago and wondering what the f*ck happened!"- noigenoigenoige
The Anthill Kids Cult
"The anthill kids cult https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roch_Th%C3%A9riault"- periczache
"What the actual f*ck."
"I should not have read that."- Nico_MyTrueSelf
"The fact that he was underweight after doing all this."
"What the hell did his poop look like since he wasn't digesting properly?"
"Or maybe his stomach acid was TOO strong and there wasn't much nutrition left for his intestines?"- bigmacjames
"I don’t think I was the same person after reading that page and seeing the pictures on it years ago."- 88Smilesz·
Murder of Sylvia Likens
"That's one of the most horrifying things I've ever read."- Trini1113
"There are many things I can read without feeling uncomfortable in this thread."
"But this... is on another level."- Pure-Destruction
"It is very strange and uncomfortable to read the Human page on Wikipedia."- LedZacclin
"The Wikipedia entry on humans makes me uncomfortable."
"Feels like it was written by an AI or by aliens."- Darmok47
Murder of James Bulger
"Haven't seen this posted yet."
"Still baffles me how little kids can kill."
"Changed the justice system in the UK for what it is today."- HighestBounty
Murder of Santos Rodriguez
"Holy sh*t."- UnitedStatesUS·
Wikipedia can be an endless source of information.
At least 80% of which you would probably be much better off not knowing.
The most surefire way of hurting someone is not by physically attacking them but rather by using words.
Indeed, saying something to someone you know will deliberately hurt them will leave a far more lasting impact than any scar or wound.
Petty name-calling or completely false accusations are fairly easily brushed off.
Then there are the things people say to others which can simply never be forgotten, and no amount of forgiveness will ever make them forget.
Words that are so harmful, or information so traumatizing, that the only way to describe it is "f*cked up".
"What was the most f*cked up thing someone said to you?"
Love Is Stronger Than Blood
"I've shared this one before."
"I was adopted when I was three."
"My mother has always been very supportive and a wonderful person, but my dad had a drinking problem and overall was a bit of a sh*tty person."
"When my mom got pregnant, I was 7, and I remember my dad telling me he was so excited to 'finally have his own and first son'."
"There was always favoritism, and in the current day, he and I don't even talk."
"I love my brother to death and hold no ill will, but our father should have been better."- CT3993
Someone Will Always Remember
"My mom told me that she wishes I was never born."
"I wasn't planned but they always told me I was a 'surprise'."
"One day when my mom drank a little more than usual, I told her I love her and she looked me in the eye and said 'I don't love you, f*ck I wish you were never born'."
"I haven't stopped thinking about that, it was just us two in the room when it happened and she doesn't remember it."
"It scared me and I don't think I will forget it."- Commercial_Sea_8817
People Grieve In Their Own Time
"My husband died suddenly when I was 35."
"There's a picture of me at the visitation standing in front of his urn with my brother's arm around my shoulders while I cried."
"My friend said 'I love that picture of your brother supporting you'."
"I said 'Yeah'."
"That's when he told me to suck it up and stop crying."- DevonHexe
All Children Want Is Their Parent's Support
"'I don't love you, or care about you. I only love your sister'."
"Honorable mentions: "
"'I hope you never make it into college'."
"'I hope you have to work a grueling schedule for the rest of your life'."
"Thanks dad."- lcssa
Apparently, So Could Her Husband...
"I had a very complicated pregnancy."
"I found out at 4 months (crazy, I know)."
"I was extremely high risk, and my FIL was asking my husband what he'd do if it he had to choose me or the baby."
"Before hubby could answer, my MIL pipes up with 'Well, if it's her or the baby save the baby you can find a better mother'."
"I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE."
"Husband lost it."- NickiP5150
Never Pick Yourself Up By Taking Others Down
"To me and my wife."
"We went over for Christmas 10 years ago, my dad was so drunk that they couldn’t stand up."
"He asked if he could hold our six month old child to which we said no."
"My mom who was not as drunk walked over about two minutes later and asked to hold the baby."
"We said okay to that and she immediately turned around and handed our baby to my overly drunk dad."
"A week later we get together with just us and them and tell them if they drink like that around our kids again, we won’t be coming to family events."
"My mom looked straight at my wife and said 'all the problems in this family are because of you'.”
"My wife being taken by surprise by that stuttered her next words and before she could get it out, my mom did that 'to-to-today' mock."
"Needless to say we got up and walked out of their house."- Myworkaccountbrah
So Good To Know They Had Their Support
"I was basically bedridden after an accident left me in constant, debilitating pain."
"My ex screamed in my face to 'just die already'."
"But apparently I'm remembering it wrong and it wasn't that big of a deal."- moxley-me
No Need To Hold Her Feelings Back
"My mom married my stepdad when I was four and we moved out to my step-grandmother's ranch to work it."
"When I was seven, I was told to help my nine year old cousin learn about what to do."
"He whined and b*tched about everything he has to do the entire time."
"I told my stepdad's mother about him 'not being too excited' about it."
"Well, he's the oldest, so this ranch will be his someday," She'd said.
"I'm seven. I don't know how sh*t works, so I ask, 'So I'll be working for Brad here someday?'"
"'No. You're going to be a priest. There's no other use for bastard children,' Was her answer."- wjescott
Children Can Be Cruelest Of All
"In middle school, I was told by a girl named Aubrey that I was a 2/10 and she audibly gagged at me."
"Well guess who’s a 2/10 now, 15 years later?"
"Still me, but f*ck you Aubrey."- itsTonic_
Not Everyone is Meant To Be A Parent
"'My life would have been so much better if you had just died too'."
"My twin died at birth."
"It may be true, but no kid needs to hear that."- bonjelascott
"My dad's speech at my mom's funeral:"
” <mom> and <son> had a close relationship, I’d have preferred to have a daughter'.“
"Not sure how that's relevant for the occasion but ok."
"Either that or the: 'Your mom wanted you, not me'.“
"Many years before that."- Remk0h
Placing Blame Will Never Change Anything
‘"It’s your fault your dad died’ - my mother."
"He had a heart attack on my 14th birthday, I was at school when he had the first one, asleep at night when he had the second that killed him."
"I didn’t get to see him as he told me over the phone to enjoy my birthday."
"That was our last contact."
"I cancelled my plans anyway and stayed at home waiting for my mom and sister to come back from the hospital."
"I still carry that guilt."
"Later, my ex’s mom. ‘It’s no wonder he died having to deal with you as a daughter’ sigh."- FrozenBluebell
Some Things Are Out Of Everyone's Control
"'It shouldn't have been your dad'."
"'It should've been you'."
"'It should've been you'."
"Said repeatedly by my mother, both drunk and sober, after my father's death."
"I think I looked too much like him for her."- berripluscream
Just Plain Cruel
"My ex-husband while we were still married:"
"'I don't find you sexually attractive anymore'."
"I was eight months pregnant with our second child."
"We were in the middle of making love."
'My ex-husband again: Fast forward a year."
"I am still nursing my baby girl when he tells me,
"'Lose weight or I want a divorce'."
"I am 5'5" and weighed 135 lbs when he said that to me, which is exactly ten pounds more than I weighed on our wedding day."- mom_with_an_attitude
They say actions speak louder than words.
But some words leave a much more lasting scar.
Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comments.
People are attracted to who they're attracted to.
We really can't control what revs our engines.
Everybody has a type of what they like in another person and what they don't.
Well, most people do.
There are a rare few who like anyone and anything.
One big attraction issue is height, particularly when it comes to dating apps where people can exclude certain heights.
Redditor xanzznax wanted to hear from all the guys who have been unceremoniously turned away because of height, so they asked:
"What is the best response to 'I don't date short guys?'"
I just like to be the shorter one. Sorry.
But... I'm the small spoon.
NibblesJim Carrey Conan GIF by Team CocoGiphy
"Bite her knees."
"Couldn't reach, went for the ankle instead."
No Hard Feelings
"When on Tinder I wrote my height because I know women have preferences (and some dudes will ridicule the tall woman, short man relationship)."
"When I matched with taller women who also wrote their heights, I would always ask if they where ready for this kind of long distance relationship. They always responded with a laugh, and if they didn't want to date, no hard feelings, they don't owe me anything."
"Adding in a non self-deprecating joke is helpful because it implies you know your height & that some women have preferences but you're still confident and you haven't made it your identity. It shows you have a sense of humor which is very attractive."
"Some shorter people have an insecurity complex and this is what gets in their way of dating compared to the actual height, and when they're like this they're typically unaware that it's their personality that's doing them in but blame it on the numbers."
Is what it is...
"If a woman says I don’t date short guys it’s understandable, a man might feel a bit insecure. I’m not short but I’m skinny and I’ve had many women say things about my size and I’m still a bit insecure about it. I don’t let that insecurity become a problem anymore. I’m of the mindset that I can’t control how I feel, but I can control how I react to my feelings."
POOFGIF by VPROGiphy
"Laugh loudly, disappear with the use of smoke bomb."
If we could all just "Poof" away in difficult situations.
WarningFootball Yes GIF by State FarmGiphy
""Hang a 'you must be this tall to ride' sign around her neck."
"Exactly, if that's their preference, move on."
"Ironically, I've never been 'rejected' in this way by a woman I asked out. Only women I haven't asked out. I have had women tell me they only date tall men or they couldn't date me because I'm short, but it was seemingly random. Like, I hadn't asked them out or shown interest. It's actually kind of hilarious."
"Short guy here, I'm 5'4, I used to get rejected by taller girls a lot, my favorite way to deal with it was just to say thanks for being honest. For some reason they would later introduce me to their friends who were maybe my height or something. A lot of them said that when you handle it like an adult its very attractive, and while they might not like short dudes, they def have a few friends who do."
"Because disliking short guys, tall girls, skinny guys, fat girls etc... is at the end of the day a matter of personal preferences. No matter how much you cry, scream and sh*t yourself about how unfair it is, it won't make you attractive to that person. Just move on with your life and find someone who'll love you for who you are."
Leave it...Amy Schumer No GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"I dated a guy who was like 5'6" or something (I'm 5"4'). It super wasn't a problem for me in and of itself. What was a problem was that HE kept BRINGING IT UPPPP!!!"
"All you short guys out there, I always found it EXTREMELY attractive. There are plenty of women who do. So rock the shortness, someone out there is admiring the cut of your gib!"
Be calm in who you are.
Do you have any similar experiences? We'd love to hear about them in the comments.