Animals and humans are more similar than you think. However, what truly sets us apart is how we reproduce. If there's anything that the movie Grease 2 taught me, it's that humans are the only animals capable of controlling their number of offspring. All the other animals--well, they just kinda go with their instincts.
Some of the mating rituals are truly strange. Reddit user Chewy-SourMilk asked:
What is an animal's mating ritual you're glad humans don't have?
As a woman who is catcalled often, part of me wishes that some of the rituals meant to keep men away could be adapted for humans. Others may not think so.
Truly a tango with death.
“Scorpion males are smaller than females and are often hunted by them. In order to reproduce the male must lock pincers with the female and then drop a packet of sperm on the ground. He must then maneuver the much larger female over the packet so that she gets the sperm inside of her.
This whole time the female is trying to eat the male who, after his tango with death must run away or become lunch.”
Fairly certain I have seen human men do this.
i'm single love & hip hop GIF by VH1Giphy“In 2019 researchers found that the song of the male white bellbird can reach levels of up to 125 decibels. This makes it the loudest bird ever recorded to date, crushing the previous record holder, the screaming piha (which has been recorded up to 116 dB).
The worst/best part (depends on how you look at it) is that it performs at its loudest when the female is on the same branch, screaming right at her, which is enough to even cause hearing damage in the female. Imagine walking into a bar, and just screaming at the top of your lungs, popping the eardrums of every girl in the bar, just to announce that you're single.”
Pretty metal, indeed.
“Anglerfish. Females are humongous compared to males, so rather than doing it the old fashioned way, the male will bite onto the female, his insides will slowly turn to mush, and he eventually fuses with the female, depositing sperm in the process. Pretty metal.”
Some of the things male animals will do to attract female animals are truly bizarre, and sometimes flat out disgusting. I’m glad most humans don’t do this. Key word: most.
Giraffes are freaks.
“Giraffes- the males repeatedly headbutt the females in the bladder until they piss themselves, then they taste the urine to see if the female is in heat."
Could you imagine if this was standard for human reproduction?
Angry Tazmanian Devil GIF by Looney TunesGiphy“Tasmanian devils. The male holds the female hostage in her own den until she becomes pregnant, which could be days. She does violently chase him from her den after she's pregnant. But I can't imagine those days trapped with him are pleasant.”
“Why does this sound like a bad fanfiction trope?”
That’s gross.
“Hippos sh*t and twirl their tails propeller-style to impress their mates, and if Gloria is interested, she will take a dump on Moto-motos head, which is something I am glad Humans don't do.”
“Most humans don't do*”
Animal instincts continue to baffle me.
“Moose. They make a ditch, fill it with piss, trample around to make some delicious mud then splash around so it covers their whole body."
“I'm sure it's not the only thing Moose have tried over their evolution but it's one last-ditch effort at survival."
Somehow, animal mating rituals are usually just straight-up violent.
Seals are very intense, to say the least.
Seal Hiccuping GIFGiphy“Seals, when they hear a couple mating all the male seals nearby will try to join in to the action, during this frenzy males will fight and kill anything in their way including baby seals."
"Hey want to make a baby!?"
"Meh, already have one."
"Not anymore, you don't."
Definitely the least cute thing about cats.
“I heard boy cats have prickly penises. Like having sex with a cactus, no thanks."
Very happy this isn’t a human ritual.
“Ferrets. As cute as ferrets are, they have a horrible mating ritual.
Basically, the male ferret (called a hob), has to maul the everliving sh*t out of the female ferret (called a jill) to get her to ovulate.
If humans did this, is would make it a lot easier to avoid accidental pregnancy, but would also make it very obvious when a woman was trying to have a child.
‘Not sure if spousal abuse, or just trying to get pregnant’ would be a common sentiment.”
As complicated as dating for humans is, I'm very grateful that it doesn't require these weird and sometimes violent rituals. Although the next time I'm catcalled, I might have to hunt down the man that did it like scorpions do.
Mating is just awkward across species. But at least human men don't have cactus penises.
- People Debate Which Animal Would Reign Supreme If Humans Didn't Exist - George Takei ›
- People Explain Which Animals Are Far More Dangerous Than People Think - George Takei ›
- People Debate Which Adorable Animal Would Make A Horrible Pet - George Takei ›
- People Explain Which Animals Get An Undeserving Amount Of Hatred - George Takei ›
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.
