Students Share The Nicest Thing A Teacher Has Ever Done For Them
Teachers are responsible for us during our formative years, and how they treat us can make a huge difference in the way we view the world. A kind and receptive teacher can be the difference between hating school and loving it.
From being willing to listen when a student is having problems, to giving a little extra time on assignments here and there, recognizing students as real, individual people helps everyone. If students know that their teacher sees them as people, they are more likely to make an effort in classes or come to the teacher if they're struggling.
Reddit user u/CrimpyThunder66 asked:
"What's something nice that a teacher has done for you?"
My 3rd grade teacher Mrs. Hunsaker was the first person to notice that I was washing my hands a few times every hour and that my OCD was getting out of control causing my hands to crack so bad from the frequent washing that my knuckles were bleeding. She put a bottle of lotion next to the sink in the class room so I could put lotion on my hands after washing and help prevent the dryness. She did countless other nice things, but this one sticks out because it was the first time that I realized what I was doing wasn't normal, and the way she addressed it and other issues I had that no one at home was noticing at the time was phenomenal.
My awesome math teacher bought me a GameCube after hearing me talk about how I was missing a GameCube from my collection. He gave it to me at my graduation and I cried.
I lost my science book. The rule was if you lost your book, you had to pay for it.
I really couldn't afford it.
Teacher just sort of made the issue go away.
Thanks Helen M. wherever you are.
After I achieved some success as an adult, won a few awards, was on a cover of a magazine and appeared on national TV, none of those things mattered to me as much as the letter I got from Mrs. Faulkner, my second grade teacher. She wrote to me to tell me how proud of me she was and included a couple memories of having me in her class more than 30 years ago.
One of my teachers literally went in a dumpster to get back my test that she accidentally threw away!
Wrote me a scholarship recommendation in which he said that no matter how bad his day or week had been, I managed to cheer him up, and that he missed my "quiet resolve to excel." Twenty years later, I still have a copy of the letter, and now it brightens my day whenever I think about it.
As a junior in high school I went through a nasty break up. The girl I had been seeing decided to make it a rather public affair, I guess she had a knack for extravagance. The whole ordeal was a nightmare. F**kers I didn't know wanted to talk sh*t, people I did know treated me differently, and friends with good intentions were so hellbent on telling me how awful she was that it got rather uncomfortable.
My English teacher was the only person who handled it well. She was great, I really respected her, and we got along. See, my expired squeeze's exposé was so widely talked about that every teacher in the school knew. And I knew they knew, which was down right sh*tty. My English teacher asked me to stay after the class. She waited till everyone had walked out of the room, then turned to me. "Girls your age are the worst," she stated, "but ten years from now, that girl is going to look back at you as the best relationship she ever had. And girls better than her will be hoping you notice them." It was the kindest thing anyone had ever said to me. Honestly, those few seconds turned my whole sour attitude around. After that, I didn't give a f**k what my peers had to say about my relationships.
In all fairness we're more than a decade out and that teacher was dead wrong. But she meant well, and in that moment she did make a huge difference for me.
visited me when I was in the hospital.
held me when I cried at a former teachers funeral.
gave me food like every morning when I forgot to eat breakfast
Seriously visit them. They want to know how you are doing.
I was failing school hard a few years ago because I've always had motivation problems, and just never did any homework. A few teachers really stuck by me and encouraged me for a long time, and weren't afraid to kick my ass if I was being an idiot. I ended up passing the year
One of my teachers wrote my college recommendation letters and helped me through most of the process.
My science teacher in high school did the same thing, and wrote a beautiful letter about how I went out of my way to help out others in the course and my genuine curiosity in the world around me and wanting to learn. I've struggled with bullying and anxiety since I was in school and it made me cry.
I keep a copy of it with the letter from my printmaking teacher in college who gave me an A (extremely hard to do in his courses). I'm still in touch with both of them.
On the last day of school I was helping my art teacher clean up for the summer. She knew I was rather poor growing up, so she gave me all the leftover paper, (some really high quality watercolor paper) all of the leftover prismacolor pencils, tons of paint brushes, and other various art supplies.
It was her last year teaching and she didn't care to save the stuff for the next year. She said the school buys all that stuff new every year.
I still miss her. She was the best teacher I've ever had.
Just the other day I tried to buy a bottle of water and didn't have enough money the teacher noticed, passed me the bottle he just bought and bought another
Wasn't even my teacher I don't even know what he teaches.
My English teacher when I was very, very young. She was the sweetest I've ever had, she knew I loved Harry Potter books, they were not super popular in France back then and she did bring me HP-themed colouring books from her trip to England. It made me so happy that she thought about me even though she was away from school !
It's been more than 20 years and we're still writing letters to each other
In ninth grade, one of our classes had us shadow someone in a job field that we were interested in. I can't remember what it was that I was interested in, but my mom for some stupid reason (she never made any sense to me) absolutely refused. I told my teacher for that class, he took me aside in the hallway and told me 'I know you're not bullsh*tting me on this, I understand, so I'm going to give you an 85 for this and we'll call it good'. Mr. Urell, you're a helluva teacher wherever you are. Almost twenty years later I can't remember what job I was interested in but I remember the teacher.
Back in grade 10, I was walking back to school alone at the end of the lunch period. One of my teachers just happened to turn a corner and wind up walking directly next to me on the way back to school.
We had a nice 12 second conversation before realizing that we were going to have to walk for at least 10 minutes in the most painfully awkward silence that's ever existed because I'm awful and can't hold a conversation to save my life.
She instead said "well... See ya" and power walked the ENTIRE way there so she was constantly just out of acceptable talking range for the entire walk. Woman was a hero.
When I told my SAT prep teacher how well I did on the SATs, the pure look of excitement and happiness he showed was probably the nicest thing I ever got from a teacher.
It felt really good to know that a teacher could be that happy for a student and proud to see his work pay off.
I went to a very small school with a bunch of really amazing math teachers and one really sh*tty math teacher (tried to sue a kid for "aggressively swinging his backpack" at her when she threw him out of the class room for something trivial. He had picked up his backpack in a normal manner.)
I was slated to have pre-calc with the terrible teacher the following year and was complaining to my amazing math teacher how much I was dreading her class. So my amazing math teacher offered to teach me pre-calc over the summer so I could skip a year of math and go straight to calc with the amazing teacher.
So once a week each week over the summer I met my amazing teacher in her back garden where we had tea and cookies and she taught me pre-calc. A week before school started I met with sh*tty teacher and took her pre-calc final, aced it, and got to stick with amazing teacher.
I also napped at my English teacher's house once.. .I was running myself ragged with AP classes, school play, at PT job so she let me nap in her spare room between classes.
When I was in the 2nd grade we had this poetry writing assignment that our teacher ended up putting together into a little class booklet. I wrote a couple of poems, but one of them called "There's a Bear in my Hair" really caught my teacher's attention. He pulled me aside after class one day and told me that he really liked it and wanted to enter it into this national poetry competition where it could end up in a book and I could get some scholarship money for college.
It didn't win, but having a teacher compliment my writing and encourage me like that was a huge push for me wanting to become a writer. Here is the poem in case anyone wants to read it. It's pretty dumb and weird, but I still think it's kind of cool to this day.
So...I was actually getting ready to comment about my amazing 12th grade English teacher. We were given a 5 minute journaling assignment each morning, and I adored her and trusted her, so I was always quite honest in my journaling. She took them up at the end of each class period and gave them back out the next morning. As an adult, I now see this as a very sweet way to make sure her students were doing alright. One morning I journaled about my fear that I may have been pregnant—I was 17 years old and had used protection, but the condom had broken and my period wasn't on time. I was terrified. Would my mom kill me, what would this mean for college/my future, was the guy someone who I could realistically raise a child with?
I wrote all of this out, and the following day as we were leaving for our next class, she called me to stay after. My first thought was that I was in trouble or that she was angry with me. She called me to her desk and brought out a pharmacy bag with a pregnancy test in it, went to the bathroom with me, and comforted me from outside the stall while my future passed before my eyes. When I came out crying from relief after seeing the negative results, she gave me a hug and told me to be careful in the future. It was one of the most compassionate things that anyone has ever done for me, and I will always remember Ms. Johnson.
The one teacher I'll always remember: my geography teacher. He was the only teacher who was brave enough to approach me after class and ask what was wrong, instead of just sending me to isolation/detention where I could be another staff member's problem. He knew just what questions to ask, he knew just how to relate my situation to his story or the stories of other people he knew, and he knew just when to transition the conversation from serious topics to more fun topics. And he gave up so many lunch breaks to talk to me about geography and travel.
After being raised in a religious cult by my abusive father and having mistruths about the world drilled into my head which left me cold, hateful, and prejudiced, I believe my geography teacher was single-handedly responsible for sparking my curiosity about the world. He was the one who told me start hanging out at the library after school instead of on the streets. He was the one who got me into reading about other countries and cultures. He was the one who inspired me to start traveling at a young age.
If I hadn't had my curiosity nurtured, I would've never started traveling. If I hadn't started traveling, I wouldn't have experienced such a diverse spectrum of people, places, and perspectives, and I'd have likely remained shackled by the narrow-minded, toxic, hateful beliefs my father and the religion he forced me into instilled in me.
The geography teacher and I still follow one another to this day. I've watched him grow to be a headlining speaker at education conferences and a principal of a school, and he's watched me grow to lead an on-the-road lifestyle which takes me country to country as a designer, artistic director, and writer.
The internet is so fascinating.
Thanks to YouTube and TikTok, so many hours can be spent lost in the world of video.
You pick a simple topic or name to check, and then it's tomorrow... and you've binged every army family reunion story.
And so much time to waste, depending on your keystroke choices.
Redditor imboredaa wanted to discuss all the ways so many of us get lost watching things on the internet, so they asked:
"What are some of the craziest/strangest rabbit holes you’ve ever been down?"
I constantly get lost on talent show audition rabbit holes.
And I am proud!
RestoredSerial Killer Chainsaw GIF by Rise RecordsGiphy
"YouTube videos of old chainsaw restorations. No idea why, but I guess that’s why it’s a rabbit hole. I don’t even own a chainsaw or have a need for one."
"I really enjoy going on a city’s Craigslist, then to 'rooms/shared' (or whatever it is for finding a room mate) and then typing words like 'warning' or 'beware' in the search to see what kind of horror show nightmare room mate scenarios people have decided to write about... it's usually some juicy headline like 'warning!!!'"
"Do NOT rent from this woman!!!! She is a PSYCHO!!….'"
"And after reading it, it’s always a guess to decide who is the actual crazy person, the landlord or tenant. Could be a bitter ex, tenant, or a scam, or whatever. But it’s an easy way to dive quick into some weird corners of the internet that are filled with drama."
After the Ice
"I spent a bunch of time about 12 years or so ago reading about all the details of the Titanic, how it sunk, what happened as it was sinking, who died, who survived. I got into the life stories of the people who died, and what became of the people who survived. And then I very nearly bought a piece of carpet from the Titanic."
"Andrée's Arctic balloon expedition"
"Dumb, then numb, a** thought he could fly a balloon to the North Pole. They had cyanide capsules and all, in case they crashed and were about to freeze to death. Or get eaten by a polar bear during a three month night. He and his assistants somehow managed to do both."
"Plot twist: Andree, the worst captain of all time, noticed the balloon was leaking the night before they were about to leave, pumped it up a bit, and said 'f**k it that'll do.' It did not do."
"An Uncle John's Bathroom Reader. Started with 1 and ended up with a 20+ collection."
"Uncle John's Bathroom Readers are so addictive."
Toilet time can be knowledge time.
Living Sky HighCity In The Sky Vfx GIF by PBSGiphy
"Turning old planes into houses! About 10 years ago I found a company that would do it for you. The wings were decks and the plane was mounted to a pedestal that allowed it to be rotate with the sun!"
"Mega tsunamis. Thousand foot walls of water moving at hundreds of mph? It happens more than you would think. The Azore-Gibraltar fault will cause one one day. There evidence they happened a few times in the Pacific. It doesn't take a meteor to happen, it could be an underwater landslide (Doggerland), or a large section of a volcanic island shearing off and falling into the ocean (Oahu). Doggerland is another rabbit hole that is worth googling."
Hitting the Keys
"Mechanical keyboards. I wanted to buy one, so I started researching and watching videos of reviews. I went deeper and deeper, seeing special cables, obscure companies, the tons of switches, etc etc."
"I stopped when a Youtuber I watched made a video asking her viewers and discord users to stop bullying and harassing her for using some kind of switches or keycaps. I bought my keyboard and never went back to that crazy fandom."
In the Sky
"I worked in administration at an aviation academy for a few years and decided I’d start listening to aviation podcasts since I didn’t know much about it. I came across a plane crash podcast that talks about crashes in history and how it improved the safety of flying."
"I was fascinated by it, and found myself gradually needing to know more and listening to more of the same type of podcasts, watching videos, and listening to black box recordings. It was eerie but interesting at the time. Now, I regret it tremendously because since then I’ve developed horrible anxiety when flying."
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"Spent a lot of time in the 'quantum consciousness' rabbit hole. I had just deconstructed from religion and wanted answers about life, death, and reality. It was long before I made peace with not knowing. I spent around a year obsessed with quantum experiments, psychedelics, and the general philosophy of consciousness."
Lives (and chores) can be put on serious hold when you find a juicy enough topic to research!
Well, what rabbit holes have you gotten lost in? Let us know in the comments below.
People Describe The Most F**ked Up Thing They've Ever Seen That Still Haunts Them
CW: Graphic imagery and accidents.
No one leaves this life without scars.
We witness so many awful things on a daily basis.
How could we not be followed by it all?
Messed up things are just part of the deal of living I guess.
One minute you're walking along on a bright sunny day, then boom, you're a witness to a murder.
Or some such craziness.
That's why I stay home a lot.
Redditor Who_Did_You_Expect1 wanted to hear about the things from our memories that still haunt our nightmares, so they asked:
"What's the most f--ked up thing you saw that still haunts you to this day?"
Living through peril is unimaginable. I've been luckier than most.
TragicSad Best Friends GIF by Lisa VertudachesGiphy
"I watched cancer kill my baby brother. He was in grade school when I was in college. 25 years, and I still see it in my dreams."
Ay Dios mio, Dios mio!
"When I was about 8, my sister and I were walking with my mom to a bus stop to see my grandma in Mexico city. There was a lady on a bike crossing the intersection that we had just crossed ourselves but she didn't stop in time to the next one and didn't look both ways, she didn't have time to stop her bike. All I remember is the lady making the beginning of a scream as a white old muscle car ran over her (bike and all) at a high speed."
" remember the sound it made as it broke everywhere. My mother took her sweater off as she screamed and covered both my sister's and my head from looking, but it was too late. I remember looking at my sister with tears in her eyes, and I was too shocked to react or comprehend what I had just seen happened. A lot of people immediately surrounded the place, and the driver came out of his car and held his head with his hands after seeing the lady on the pavement."
"I didn't look at the lady anymore. I remember hearing people screaming in shock. My mother told my dad later as she cried. I remember hearing her wake up screaming for weeks after this saying: ay Dios mio, Dios mio! Still makes my heart race when I think about it."
"I was a news photographer for a while in the 90’s. I got called out to an accident. A high school girl ran into the back of a semi. As I was shooting, I noticed her wallet was on the ground. It had a plastic picture holder and the wind was flipping back and forth. I saw her prom pictures and shots of her with her family."
"I quit being a news photographer shortly after. I never forgot that day, and it still haunts me."
"I saw the aftermath rather than the actual event. A woman was walking home from the grocery store late at night. She crossed the road without using the crosswalks and got hit by an SUV. The two images cemented in my mind are of her, embedded in the windshield, and the driver of the car standing a little ways down the street vomiting. I've never seen someone look so utterly broken as the way the driver looked. I can't imagine what he was going through."
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"When I was 16 I was in a car wreck with my best friend since 3rd grade. I pulled him from the car with a broken shoulder while he was bloody, lifeless, limp. He died within the hour, not long after the ambulance got us. It’s been 18 years and I still think about it every single day."
I couldn't imagine living with that.
I also couldn't move...
"Coming to after getting hit by a vehicle as a pedestrian. Was face down, all I could see was blood soaked road and thought 'f**k, that doesn't look good.' I also couldn't move. The last thing I remember seeing before that was the grill of the vehicle. I still get jumpy when I catch a vehicles grill out of the corner of my eye and I'm not expecting it to be there."
"I'd seen a lot of accidents prior to that, but something about it being my own blood hit different."
"And yes, I had the right of way and was crossing in the proper place, at the proper time. Driver plain a** wasn't paying attention. It was daylight to boot, so no reason they couldn't see me."
"I was volunteering with my k9 working with NYC emergency services and chief Patell during 911 WTC attacks. We were in the middle of where the twin towers used to stand The thick gray dust, horrible smell of burnt things and dead people was all around but when the dogs started to find bodies and body parts it really freaked me out and I will forever live with this reality that seems like a bad dream."
MissingConfused Wile E Coyote GIF by Looney TunesGiphy
"A family of four that had burned in a plane crash. I used to do a woodland search and rescue, and we saw a lot of wild crap, but I still have dreams about what I saw when we went to look for a missing plane."
Goodness life is dark sometimes.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
People Break Down Obvious Signs To Tell If You Have Sexual Tension With Someone
Let's just be honest: the dating scene can be rough, especially when you're not sure if that person likes you back or not.
Some people, however, are very comfortable with their dating histories and believe there's a certain "cheat code" to confirming if someone is interested.
But for those of us who have always been bad at flirting and consider ourselves "oblivious" to other people's advances and compliments, maybe there could be some hope for us after all with these tips.
Redditor Independent_Slide932 asked:
"What are signs that there's sexual tension between you and someone?"
Their Undivided Attention
"It's serious eye contact for me, like when they would rather admire you than look anywhere else. It just makes it so obvious."
"For me, it's not just the eye contact itself, but when the eye contact is made, the two of you are in your own little world. There’s communication happening in that eye contact that you aren’t having with other people."
The Thrill of the 'Chase'
"To answer the actual question OP asked, it’s finding reasons for eye contact."
"It’s 'accidentally' making physical contact. It’s always ending up sitting next to each other in a group."
"It’s a tingly tight feeling in your guts."
"It’s a beautiful pain to experience. It’s almost more fun than actually 'getting' the other person."
Literal Physical Attraction
"Angling. Always feeling like your center of gravity is shifting towards them."
Interested or Not?
"There's a regular who comes into my work who makes serious serious 'seductive' eye contact with me and has a smile that looks flirty."
"But he's also hot as f**k. He's just incredibly attractive. So like, just because it's making me turn to jelly doesn't mean it's anything other than just being friendly and having a regular smile to him."
It is, Indeed, ...Tense
"It's that awkward, 'I want to f**k this person, and I'm pretty sure this person wants to f**k me, but I'm not sure enough about it to actually make a move.'"
"That's sexual tension."
"It can manifest in a lot of ways. Usually, sexual tension develops when two people are attracted to somewhat attracted to each other. The funny part is, sometimes they aren't even fully conscious of it, or want to acknowledge it."
"That is where the tension lies. There is a reason why both are not participating in healthily acknowledging attraction for each other. It can look like tense awkwardness, constant fighting, overt flirtatiousness without any progression, and even consciously ignoring/avoiding the other person."
"It's a shared gaze that at once leaves you both relaxed and on edge. It's like being old friends with a stranger."
"It's like an inside joke that isn't funny, it's sexy. I mean, it could be funny or sexy, but you see what I mean, it's a common understanding."
"It's like, 'You've got a secret, and I know it, and I've got a secret, and you know it, and the secret is the same thing, and we both know it, and it's so f**king delicious that we both know that without discussing it. The secret is nothing and everything, it's the knowing and sharing and the edging that is wonderful."
"It is something that is involuntary, but also once you've experienced it (enough), you can put yourself in that mode, make eye contact with a sexy stranger, and they may respond positively. It won't be as good as spontaneous mutual attraction, but you can put the signals out, 'Hey, I dig you, are you interested?'"
"Some people that you have that intense mutual attraction for aren't the right one(s) for you, except that they are the right ones to practice making that connection with. The person who is perfect for you might be someone who grows into the right emotional responses... and that's true of you, for them, as well."
"And lastly, you can choose to ignore both the mutual and asserted versions; the right relationship choices are both an emotional and intellectual decision, don't rely on one exclusively."
A List of Obvious Signals
"Reading signals is tough, I’m glad I don’t have to date these days."
"But some legit signals I’ve learned, in no particular order:"
"Prolonged or suggestive eye contact."
"Body positioning mirrors yours or stands closer than typical in your culture."
"Playing with hair when you interact."
"Light unconscious brushing up against or touching."
"If seated, leaning forward towards you frequently and/or touching you hand in a friendly way."
"Flushed or light blushing when they interact with you but not others."
"Excessive awkwardness that isn’t the case with them around other people. Especially if they straight up start babbling like a loon."
"Awkward silences you could cut with a knife but they still keep seeking you out."
When Someone Gets It Wrong
"It’s hard to explain. Basically, it’s a nervous, delicious breathless feeling when they are close to you. You both go out of your way to stand just a little bit closer to each other."
"The sad thing is, some people think they 'feel' this with someone just because the other person is being friendly and misread signals. I once had a guy insist that we had sexual tension simply because I twisted my hair."
"He told me that twisting my hair was a 'mating signal.'"
"I told him that I had been twisting my hair has been a nervous habit of mine since I was a toddler, but of course, he wanted to believe I was interested and insisted that I must secretly want him."
Obvious to Other People First
"When other people pick up on it."
Responding to Looks
"When they suddenly look and hold eye contact and then look away. (Low)"
"When they look and notice you're looking then they run their hand through their hair. (Medium)"
"When they notice you looking and suddenly gently bite their lip looking away. (High)"
"When they notice you’re looking and do something to draw attention to their body either stretch and reveal skin or adjust an intimate part of their clothing. (Extreme)"
"Each of the above will make you get butterflies as you know that she knows AND that she knows that you know."
Trying to Keep the Conversation Going
"When there's a lull in the conversation, and eye contact is maintained while you both are trying to figure out what to say next."
Looking But Not Looking
"Catching glances, by either party. The kind where they’re looking at you and don’t think you’ll look up or at them. Then suddenly the ceiling is really interesting to them when you make eye contact."
The Classic Note Trick
"When they hand you a piece of paper that says:"
"'Do you think that there is sexual tension between us?'"
"'[ ] Yes or [ ] No'"
While we'd all love for the dating scene and general flirting to be straight-forward, simple, and stress-free, this thread serves as a reminder that it comes easily for some while being a puzzle for others.
At the end of the day, if you're interested in someone, the easiest thing to do, though it's terrifying, might be to ask them.
Anyone with any amount of dating experience knows at least a few things that they love in a relationship and a few things they find unsavory.
Just like discovering our boundaries and what qualifies as a relationship deal breaker, most of us generally have a few rules that we tend to live by in every relationship, whether it's romantic, platonic, or professional.
Curious to learn some rules to live by, Redditor aytmamatov_musa asked:
"What relationship rule have you memorized forever?"
Actions Speak Louder than Words
"I can't remember the exact wording, but something to the effect of: Pay more attention to how invested your partner is in the relationship, not how much they say they are."
Know Who Holds the Power
"I remember when I first realized that the person who has the most control in a relationship (especially ending it) is the person that cares about the relationship the least."
"When I thought of all the relationships that I had been in (not just sexual) and how one person decided sometimes months ahead of time that the relationship was over, I remember how oblivious the other person was when it ended."
"By the way, this can also be applied to employment relationships as well."
Don't Fight for Someone's Attention
"If someone does not want to hear you, there is no way you can phrase anything to make them listen."
"This applies to all types of relationships, but I learned it from trying so hard to have a healthy relationship with my mother. Then when I left at 25, she responded by filing a missing person's report, hiring a PI (Personal Investigator), harassing my friends, and hacking my email and bank accounts to monitor my activity."
"This also ties into: abusers see you taking away their ability to abuse you, as an egregious theft of their rightful property."
Be a United Front
"Problems aren’t You vs Me. They’re Us vs The Problem."
No Codependent Relationships Here
"You cannot help someone who does not want to be helped."
Be Honest About Your Feelings
"Listen to how you describe your partner to friends, or how you think at the moment how you're describing your partner to them. That will tell you a lot about how you feel about them."
"If you're nervous about introducing them, listen to why. If you're apologizing for their actions, pausing to reframe positive ways to speak about them, or ignoring the red flags, then listen to that instinct. If you're constantly talking about the problems or hiding them, pay attention to why."
"I remember being in one relationship and having those feelings of, 'Should I introduce her to the family, when I talk to others about her, I'm exhausted from some argument, etc.'"
"I remember another relationship, thinking, 'Oh, I would love her to meet the family, she'd get along with everyone's kids, my friends would love her, I just had this great moment with her, and I wanted to tell people about it, I enjoy talking about her.'"
"When you experience that difference (and you have the wisdom and experience to know you're not being deluded by things like abuse or newness or getting caught up in a big fire that's going to burn out fast), it tells you so much."
Be Mindful of Reciprocation
"Something a friend of mine once told me was, 'Always ask yourself if this relationship isn't taking more from you than it is giving you.'"
"It saved me a lot of heartbreak."
"If they don’t respect your boundaries while dating, they won’t respect them in marriage."
Cheaters Gonna Cheat
"My best mate got with a woman who cheated on her then-boyfriend to be with him. Then my mate and she stayed together for four years, but she ended up cheating on him with another guy that she is now dating."
"I warned him in the beginning and advised him not to get into a relationship with her to start with. If she can do it with one guy, she can do it with another."
"His argument was that her then-boyfriend was not good enough for her which was why she is cheating on him. But what he failed to realize was that no one is the best in the world, and if she decides that he isn’t good enough for her in the future, then she will cheat on him too. And that is exactly what happened."
Acknowledge Red Flags
"Red flags look like normal flags when wearing rose-colored glasses."
Common Interests Aren't Everything
"Having a lot in common doesn’t equal a good relationship. It’s just a decent starting foundation."
Don't Go to Bedroom Angry - Or Do?
"I wouldn't say forever, yet, but since becoming a wife, I have learned that it's okay to sleep off a fight. Don't have to 'resolve' everything right then and there. Give each other space to let steam off and talk in the morning."
Be Loved for Who You Are
"Do not change your personality if you don't want to... I didn't realize until the breakup, that my ex did not like me, just the idea of what I could be..."
Know the Difference
"When an argument comes out of nowhere, ask 'Are you yelling at me, or to me?'"
"It's helped with a lot of arguments. Sometimes we just need a backboard to scream at, and nine out of ten times, that backboard is your significant other."
"A lot of arguments get bad just because they don't know you are releasing anger, which is healthy in the right way."
Some of these seem pretty simple, but they can make a huge impact in a relationship, if not also to the trajectory and health of a person's life. By understanding our own worth and how it's valued by others, we gave give ourselves a much happier ever after than we might have otherwise settled for.