It's totally normal to see friendships between girls and women as emotional and intimate. It's pretty normal to see the same portrayals with men on the LGBT spectrum. For whatever reason, friendships with straight men are seen as emotionlesss, distant and superficial. It's almost like all straight men are allowed to do with one another is drink, chase after women, do something sporty or talk about cars or something.
That doesn't sound very fun or emotionally fulfilling. Spoiler Alert: friendships, believe it or not, are supposed to be emotionally fulfilling.
One Reddit user asked:
Straight guys of Reddit, what's the most intimate moment you had with another guy?
And yeah, we're here for all of this. Some of it is incredibly sad and moving, some of it made us literally laugh aloud. All of it was beautifully honest. You ready for all this awesome? #BringOnTheBromance
Tears With A Brother
My fraternity brother/ roommate was having a bad day, we were all drinking but he clearly had the most and texted an ex, so I brought him back to our room to keep an eye on him. He got real sad and started crying, except he was insecure about his masculinity so he would cry for a few minutes about how he felt around other guys, then deny that he felt like that and this cycle would repeat every five minutes. Finally I broke through to him that feeling like this was completely fine and actually good (better acknowledging than hiding it). I held him in my arms while he wept for about half an hour. He kept trying to push back because his every instinct was telling him that this wasn't ok, but I just shushed him and rubbed his back as I held him. He eventually calmed down and went to bed. That happened two weeks ago and we haven't talked about it yet, but I'm glad he trusted me, and hope he seeks me out if he's feeling that ways again.
Bromance On A Rainy Night
It was my dads birthday. Went to the city for dinner. He sent me and my neighbor (who came to dinner with us) to get the car from the parking garage. It was raining so we were running. As were running through the streets of manhattan in the dark, lightning struck and thunder boomed. We simultaneously say "I love that" look at each other and keep running in the rain.
That night, a bromance was formed.
Saltines In The Bath Tub
A few years ago my plastered-drunk friend was too sauced to function and he threw up all over himself. Being his friend and roommate I helped him get cleaned up. Only problem was he kept refusing to take a shower. He was only interested in taking a bath (in hindsight it was safer and easier). So this f*cker gets completely nude and hops in the tub filling with cold water.
Almost immediately he's screaming for my help, shivering by the time I'm in the bathroom. I fix the water and he starts crying saying he is "soooooo hu-hu-hungry." So I go grab some saltine crackers and began to feed my naked friend in the bathtub.
So, there's that.
My mom attempted suicide years ago. She was hospitalized for a month. I thought I could handle it but a week or two after it happened, I got into a fight with my girlfriend at a party and started crying. I couldn't stop. I totally unraveled in a friends kitchen. My best friend put me in his car and we drove around while I sobbed uncontrollably. I've never been more emotionally unstable.
He didn't talk, he just drove around. Then he dropped me off at home. I felt so much better. He never even brings it up to this day.
Missing Her Friendship
I broke up with my first serious girlfriend after 4 years and an engagement. She had been cheating and it was a messy end.
18 months later, we had managed to stay apart but I was having dreams about her. I was having lunch with my best friend and he asked me about it. I told him I had been having dreams where I was pleading with her to acknowledge me, that I meant something, that she loved me. I would wake up weeping, and in telling this, started crying lightly at the table. He asks what I miss most, I mention the jokes, the places we went.
He takes a breath and says:
"It sounds like as much as you miss her as your girlfriend, you miss the friend she was, too."
Never dreamed or thought of her much again. Made some new friends.
We Won't Let You Fall
I was on a trip with a buddy. He's an avid climber. The mountain we climbed together with the guide was waaaay over my skill level but we couldn't tell till half way up. It was sheer ice. My buddy had paid a lot to be on this trip and I after doing some glacier climbing was invited along by the guide for free.
Twice I froze in terror. Clinging to the side of the mountain with just axes and my crampons and tethered to my best friend and then the guide and then the ice anchor. I couldn't move. It was a combination of exhaustion and fear. I wept my buddy never once grew frustrated even though I was definitely fucking up his trip. He stayed calm and just said:
"Buddy you aren't going to fall because we won't let you fall. Even if you do you are attached to me and I sure as shit will never let you fall. After that I'm attached the the guide. He's attached to the mountain. You are safer now than you are in your car everyday. Now breathe and swing that f*cking axe as hard as you can above you and start moving."
I did it. After 10 hours we reached the summit for the most earned view of my life. I hugged my childhood friend. We repelled down the other face in the dark with head lamps. I had no fear. I felt alive. He'll forever be my brother.
The French Salon
I was at my buddy's house hanging out. He had just taken a shower, dressed, and come out to the living room where I was watching tv. His hair looked odd so I grabbed his brush and started brushing it. For whatever reason I started channeling a French salon owner. I brushed it into different styles and we were both having a laugh.
His dad walked in the room and we immediately acted as if we were doing something terribly wrong. We hurriedly departed and never spoke of it again.
Free Of The Burden
My best friend had muscular dystrophy. I'd been both his main bud for over ten years (all of which were past his life expectancy) and had to help him go to the bathroom, set up breathing machines, feed him, etc. All out of necessity and love at the same time.
When it became evident that his end was near, we refused to talk about it. I moved in with his family for a while just to be there with him, but we never discussed in words what was was going to happen...just kept hanging out as we always did.
One night, after about a week of getting up the courage to broach the subject, I asked him if he was afraid of dying. He said not at all, and that he was glad that I would finally be free of the burden of having to take care of him. This broke both of us.
This obviously was waaaay too much for either of us to handle and I laid in bed with him and we cried for what seemed like hours. We went over everything we needed to cover our feelings and our fears (and some logistics concerning certain things he wanted me to keep hidden from his mom).
He passed about a month after that, and after ten years since, I still wish I could go back and and lay down with him and hold him and cry and tell him how much I love him and miss him.
Best bro spoon session I'll ever have.
My friend got really super drunk and decided to take a bath with his clothes on. I, being the less drunk one, stayed in the bathroom to make sure he didn't like drown or something. He ended up inviting me to join him.
Two bros, fully clothed, drunk, in a bubble bath at 2am.
The Last Time He Knew Who I Was
My best friend passed from a brain tumor when we were both 19.
About 1 week prior to his passing, he was not remembering very much and he was continually eating without (due to the steroids and pain meds, I believe) going to the bathroom very often. He consumed way to much food over the course of a morning, around lunch he started vomiting in the most absurd projectile vomit stream you could ever imagine. 20 seconds of a stream the size of a fire hose going all over him, the couch, some on me and very little in the bowl I ran to grab him. The worst part was when it was done, and we were covered in vomit. He didn't know who threw up or where it came from.
I picked him up, covered in vomit and carried him to the shower. He was embarrassed for his mom or any girls seeing him naked for some reason with vomit on him. I undressed him, and bathed him myself. Helped him soap, shampoo, dry and dress. It was the last time I felt he even knew who I was.
I miss you Ben.
Me and my friend used to masturbate next to each other when we were about 12yo, we did it several times and never spoke of it ever again. We just sat there chatting about random stuff while masturbating furiously. Weird.
Strangers in the dark...
Not ONE clue why, but when me and my best friend were like 8ish, we were at one of my dad's late men's league hockey games. We never watch the games and just kind of explored and messed around looking for stuff to do. Well we found out some of the empty locker rooms were open and lights off. Perfect to explore as a kid right? Well we explored more than i remember why. We casually bumped into each other in the middle of the dark room and our curiosity's must have sparked. We started to just......rub up against each other and like dry hump each other. That went on for about 15 seconds when we both kind of snapped out of it at the same time. Still don't know what triggered that kind of sexual eruption, but i have been trying to figure it out since.
After a close friend died /u/quadmedic21 held me while I cried into his shoulder which felt like forever.
Also basically anytime I'm with him it feels romantic. Once on New Year's I ordered pizza for us and woke him up with it. His adorable naked butt rolled over and spooned with me just for bringing him pizza.
Our wives are okay with our relationship. We also take better pictures together than either of us took at our own weddings.
Had a friend say to me while I was feeling pretty down about myself and my looks that he would f**k me if I was a woman.
Driving with a buddy and his friend who I just met who was gay. Going through an intersection and asked which way to go. My buddy says go straight, and I reply out of habit, "forward, never straight" (it's a military thing). The gay friend perks up and says, "that's right, never straight." We looked at each other and laughed. That's the closest I came to being gay.
Try the full buffet.
Had sex with a guy once, wanted to try it and see how I liked it. Turns out I'm straight lol...
Jump in the water is fine..
A couple of years ago I went up to visit my friend in Minneapolis. His apartment was located right across the street from a music festival, so we hung out on his lawn drinking all day and enjoying free live music.
Later on that night we went out for a cigarette and started walking around his neighborhood. What started as a short cigarette walk ended up being a longer excursion as we made our way past the house into some forest area near some train tracks. It was really cool for me being able to see more stars than I was used to seeing back in Chicago and actually being able to walk from the city into nature.
We kept hiking and ended up next to a lake. He asked if I wanted to go swimming and I was like yeah, so we ended up skinny dipping in the lake. I hadn't been swimming in a long time so it was especially fun for me and it was so awesome to swim at night with a cool view of the city across the lake.
It was such a beautiful view and night that we didn't realize we were ruining the intimate moment of another couple too. While we were just two naked drunk dudes swimming in the lake by the moonlight, there was a couple on the shore that was trying to have a romantic picnic, complete with wine and a blanket. We thought we were alone until I saw them, but it's funny to think how it was to see that from the couple's viewpoint. One minute it's a really romantic night, then out of nowhere two naked guys run screaming at the water.
I used to play inappropriate touch Tuesday with a group of my friends in high school. Basically whoever can make the other more uncomfortable wins for that Tuesday.
On this Tuesday I had just gotten to school and all of my other friends were already there. I walked up to the group and said hello to everyone. Without skipping a beat, one of the boys walked right up and cupped a handful of my junk. He stared triumphantly into my eyes while I stood there shocked for a moment.
Talking another guy out of suicide. He just needed someone to listen. We hugged for a solid 30 seconds and he sobbed into my chest. Awkward looking back, but in the moment he needed it.
I see you...
My roommate and I ( best friends then an still) used to have sex with our girlfriends at the same time in our room. Either of us could turn our heads to the side and see each others buns or junk. Surprised the girls were into this. College was an interesting time.
- H/T: Reddit
Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.
All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?
Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:
What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
I am claustrophobic. It paralyzes my life. I can't ride elevators. I freak out at amusement parks. And don't get me started on trains in New York that get stuck in the tunnel. Why am I like this?
"I was about 7 or 8 when I heard some noise coming from the garage. My mom was at work and I was being babysat by one of my uncles. I went to open the garage to find my other uncle strangling his girlfriend up against the car. She had blood coming out of her nose and mouth. I just froze and stood there staring and my uncle didn't even notice and continued choking and strangling her."
"My other uncle came to the door where I was standing saw what was happening and grabbed me. He called my mom and then the police who later came and arrested my uncle. There's more to this story I wasn't privy to at such a young age. But yeah my other uncle is crazy. He's been to jail a few times, has anger and control issues."
"Going to another person's house and realizing that living in filth and decay and having breathing problems isn't the norm. Having dinner every night and a clean room was just a regular day in their household. Grass is always greener right? Especially when yours is dead and everyone from school thinks your house is haunted. Smh good riddance."
"Watching my grandpa slowly waste away on our living room couch. He had a paraganglioma on his pancreas, and there was nothing (especially in 1980) that could be done for him. I was four, and he was my favorite person, and I couldn't sit with him, or hug him, or anything. I miss him even after 40 years. Either that or my best friend dying over Christmas break in 1988. I miss her too. I pretty much hated everything after that."
"I saw my Dad get swept away and drowned when I was 11. It's really something I've never recovered from. It's been 16 years and not a day goes by I don't remember it. I live with it. I think we have to for those who we've lost. I always kind of imagine it as a sort of like an emotional loss of a limb. I haven't lost a limb, but I imagine you adapt to not having it. You learn. But you never forget you are missing an arm or a leg."
It's taken me years to confront my struggle. Finally a little while ago, I tried hypnotherapy and I was able to recover a childhood memory that manifested into my phobia. I was trapped in handcuffs as a joke by my babysitter's brother. Six hours.
"The older I got through my teens, the more my step-father's alcoholism spiralled out of control, and the more I was biding my time until I was 18 and would head off to college. Education was my only escape in my mind. Every instance of physical and emotional abuse had to be met with, "just shut up and take it, it'll be over someday." Really wish I could give that kid who slept on the floor of a three-bedroom trailer a hug and say that he'd make it out and get a master's degree. I feel like I just won a decade-long war."
"I had a dog that I absolutely loved. I begged for this dog in a Walmart parking lot a week before my 3rd birthday, my mom said I could have the dog but that meant no birthday presents or cake just the dog (she lied, I got presents, cake, and dog.) This dog went everywhere with me and did everything with me. Despite being a tiny mutt he would do his best to protect me from our Doberman who did not like me."
"In fairness to the doberman, as a 2 yr old I did stomp on his nuts for some unbeknownst reason so no hard feelings on not liking me. When I was 5 my mom became a truck driver so we moved in with my grandparents on their farm. While I was at school one day Bouncy had gotten into the fence with the donkeys and was kicked in the head."
"When I got off the bus I couldn't figure out why he wasn't waiting on me. My grandparents met me outside and told me what happened, then walked me in to where he was. He died 30 minutes after I got home like he was waiting to see me. I haven't been able to bond with a pet since."
"I saw our neighbor's collie killed by a driver speeding through the neighborhood. As a young boy, it had real impact because I loved her, and it hurt when he stuck his head out the driver's door window, grinned, and just sped off - leaving the dog dead in the road and me - a kid - in tears. As I once commented, how anyone could be so callous and cruel was beyond my imagination."
"I actually don't remember the event much, but when I was really young (~6years old) I was playing outside and I heard a woman screaming. I was curious so I went across the street to see a bunch of smoke coming out of the cracks in the front door. Didn't see any flames initially so I didn't put two and two together right away. My Dad saw me across the street in the driveway just staring at the house and when he investigated what I was doing he realized the house was on fire. Whole house burnt down."
"Older woman fell asleep on her couch with a lit cigarette. I was traumatized by fire as a kid and I was petrified about burning alive in my sleep for quite some time. Dad had to install a fire escape ladder in my room, fire extinguishers, etc. I was obsessed with what to do in case of fires as a kid. No longer an issue, but my parents still tell me stories about how they knew that messed me up."
"I was 12 and sat down at the edge of a sidewalk to pet a cat crossing the road. I lived on a very quiet, but wide street. Even if a car drove by, there would've been a lot of room, as I was in an area reserved for parallel parking. (No cars were parked though). All of a sudden a big red car sped up and swerved to hit the cat. It missed me by inches, and instantly killed the cat. It was decades ago, and I still think about it often."
"Oh, hands down, my mother alcoholism. It really messes you up in ways that you cannot imagine. And you don't even realize that until years after. I still can't drink alcohol because of it, it terrifies me to even entertain the possibility to become something close to her."
I survived. But, I'm still haunted. I think I always will be. But I have learned to manage. We all struggle with the past. We were too young to process. But now we have to try. You're not alone.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.
And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.
Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.
The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...
Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:
Why are you single?
Give too much. Give too little. Pay for the first date. Don't pay for anything. I've heard it all. Sometimes it all worked, sometimes it didn't. Let's hear more...
Nemo?Finding Nemo Movie GIFGiphy
"There are plenty of fish in the sea. Unfortunately, I live in the desert."
"My girlfriend passed, and I can't figure out how to fall out of love with a dead woman."
"I think the only way I could move forward is knowing I will always love and cherish her memory, but am capable of loving another as well. Then again there's nothing wrong with making peace with the fact you've had the love of your life and staying single."
"I tell myself it's by choice."
"Here is the reality, it may make some feel better. If you aren't using a dating app, not going to bars/clubs or putting yourself out there, you have made a conscious choice not to date. If you are ok with this, you have NOTHING to be ashamed or worried about. Some people are wired differently. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship. If you are not ok with this, you need to make some changes in your life. And no, it's not their fault. Do some introspection."
"Self esteem issues. Anyone I like enough to date deserves better than me."
"I have a question for you, I suspect that this person I really care for a lot also really cares a lot for me but they push me away despite never fighting having any disagreements or ever a bad time or issue of any type. In fact, we've always really enjoyed each other's company. So my question is would you or have you just given up on someone despite really liking them because you thought that they'd just leave you anyway and couldn't possibly be happy with you--and they'd would be disappointed? Thinking you're doing them a favor?
"It's not really that I would be worried about them leaving or being disappointed with me. I'm disappointed in myself, and I wouldn't want to bring that into a relationship. I don't like me, so how can I ask someone else to? If I've given up on myself, then I'm really not bringing anything to the relationship except baggage. I'm not sure I'm doing them a favor, but I am sure that they will find someone better than me."
"Also, I swear I'm a functioning human lol. These are legit the deep dark thoughts that come out in the wee hours of the morning. I am trying to fight against this train of thought as much as I can, but I hope you can see why I wouldn't want to make this someone else's problem, especially someone that I care for deeply."
The Appeal...So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"I assume because I'm not appealing in any way to anyone"
no one else....
"I can barely handle myself, what makes you think I could handle some other fool?!"
"For me, it is a choice. In my country, marriage is set up by parents and children barely have a say in 90% cases. I am 35 now and still single, think of it how you will. I just detest human interactions. When I try to recall the happiest moments of my life, all of them were with my dogs, gods help their departed souls. I can't imagine spending intimate time with another human being. And a relationship is unnecessary bondage. It is an utter waste of time, money, energy and everything one can imagine."
"I'm a physically ugly dude who generally dates by having people get to know me for a while, look past my looks and develop feelings for me. Post-university this has been extremely difficult, as I don't have enough people coming through my life despite my best efforts, and doubly so in a dating market that is so thoroughly warped by looks-based online dating."
"I lack the social skills."
"It's difficult, I avoided people and bonding with people because I was too insecure about being socially unskilled and this only gets worse with time, people are growing and getting better at it, but I barely started really."
ConnectionsDont Touch Me Season 9 GIF by FriendsGiphy
"I don't connect with people very well. I have a hard time talking to people I care about normal things, and I have an even harder time talking to them about my feelings. On top of that I have really bad social anxiety and I don't have a lot of friends, so the chances of me actually getting in a relationship is basically zero."
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Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.
Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.
If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.
Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:
"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"
Let's learn from the masters!
What a common mistake!
"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."
"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."
"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."
"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."
"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."
"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."
"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."
Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.
"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."
"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"
You can't take back what you've already put in.
"You can always add, but you cannot take away."
"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."
"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."
"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."
"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."
"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"
"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."
"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."
How else will you know it tastes good?
"Taste the food."
"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."
"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."
Here's one just for laughs.
"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."
"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."
If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.
Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!
If all else fails, you can always order take out.
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As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.
One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.
Fast forward to our grocery store trip with our mother, my younger sister, and myself. Sister was having a fit over wanting one of those cheap plastic toy packs they hang in some of the aisles. Mom said no.
Cue the scream, my little blonde sister lets out a wail and starts yelling for the entire store to hear "Stop it! You aren't my mom! You aren't my mommy! No!" My mom tried to grab her hand and tell her to stop but then realized that in doing so it made the scene look worse.
It was such a mix of mortification and humor that I just stood there. Little sister stopped after a few minutes, pretty sure she got her prized toy just to shut up. Now that I'm older it's a wonder the police didn't come.
Redditor Granted01 wanted to hear the most embarrassing childhood moments the internet had to offer and asked the subreddit:
“What inappropriate thing did you do as a child that you didn't realise was inappropriate?"
The answers make us want to crawl into a hole for them.
“My parents used to keep mini bottles of liquor in the fridge (the ones you'd find in hotel mini bar). We had to make our own lunches at times when mom and dad were busy with work and my first-grade self decided to empty the bottles into the sink and put juice in them to bring to school… my parents got a call that day from school lol." wander-lux
On my--well, him...
“Not me but my daughter. We live in a place where we don't see many people of different ethnicities but one day she saw a Muslim man with a beard dressed in the long white outfit, and she was convinced he was God."
“No idea why but she wouldn't leave the dude alone (she was 4) and started reeling off a Christmas list.. turns out Santa and God were mixed up too. Thankfully he found it funny." ApricotSuperb7196
“Not me, but my sister used to lap her drinks up like a dog. Turns out she was calling this "doggy style". One time they forgot to bring her a straw at the restaurant we were in and she loudly screamed "guess I'll do it doggy style". I think she was 7 or 8 at the time." knotsy-
Not what they’re called…
“I used to call those pigeons with the pointy tuft on their heads ‘horny birds’. I would yell it out so loudly too -.- my mum told me she had to look away every time I did it because it made her laugh until she cried. Obviously I wasnt told until later because I was only 5 at the time.” Artherwritethiss
Anything but that *gag*
“I used to play with this cup in the bath and drink water out of it for years, did it in the shower too as i got older, it had a handle on the end of it and I never knew why. One day I witnessed my mother use this cup in the toilet violently, and that was the moment I realized what a plunger was."
“It scared me I was about 10 when I realized what I had been using as a toy. I would fill it up with water in the bath or shower and play with it, and sip the water out of it, etc as kids do with toys I guess. Probably never forget that." That-nz-guyChannel 9 Brush GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy
“riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town…”
“I was a serious nudist as a child. My parents could never keep me in my clothes. My older sister would have her friends over who I had a crush on and I'd run outside butt naked to see them. There's a story that I still get teased about to this day of when my neighbor called my mom at work to tell her I was riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town completely nude.” jdbuck99
“I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard…”
“I grew up on Looney Tunes & would call people who were mean to me stinkers or dirty bastards. I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard cause he started teasing me. I had my mom dying.” Kuriosity93
“my mum made me forge her papers…”
“When I was like 12 my mom was on probation and had to do community service. (Still no idea why) I had pretty good cursive handwriting at the time and my mum made me forge her papers and sign her p.o's name saying she was doing her service. Good times. Thanks for the memories mum.” osum_o_posum
Why didn’t they say anything!?
“When I was in 5th grade we made a calendar to take home. We each had our picture taken and glued to cover and were allowed to decorate it and each of the following months however we chose."
“Being 10 (nearly 11) there was so much that I didn't know about the world. What made it tick and more importantly, its history. Prior to the creative masterpiece that was unfolding in class, at home, I had walked in on my dad watching a WWII documentary where they showed footage of the German regalia and, subsequently, their flags."
“Not knowing any better, I thought the 'windmill' symbol was really cool and decided it should be on the cover of this calendar. One in each corner with my photo smack dab in the middle."
“No one said anything to me about it. It went through the lamination machine and was sent home with me. I wish I could've seen my teacher's reaction while she thought one of her students had skinheads for parents..." FusedByFire
A different way to say hello…
“Right, so anyone who's seen Mr. Bean (the movie) probably remembers the scene where he waves his middle finger at people tryna say hi? I did that. To an elderly person. Need I say more.” Blackrap1d
These cringe-worthy and laughable moments are brought to you by the ignorance of childhood. We've nearly all had a moment like this growing up, some just way, way worse than others.
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