They protect our country with everything they've got. Us civilians appreciate what they do, but unfortunately some of our service members come with a price- the military spouses. Here are some of the craziest stories out there, brought to you by Reddit.
u/soldier01073 asked: Service members of reddit. What is your worst military wife story?
.....holy sh*t.
I am a military spouse, but worked as a DOD employee with the Marines. Got a call that a military spouse was in the hospital, her place on base housing had gotten broken into, the 9 month pregnant spouse was beaten and taken by ambulance to the hospital. The assault caused a miscarriage. I was devastated and went to the hospital with several officers in the Marine's chain of command. One of the nurses tending her looked me in the eye and said, "I am very interested in how this is going to play out." I was so confused.
The 9 month pregnant assault victim was given an ultrasound and blood work performed upon being admitted to the hospital. She hadn't been pregnant. Her "due date" was the next day and she's been faking the pregnancy the whole time. She beat herself up and carved herself up with a knife then made up the assault story resulting in miscarriage as a way to cover up the 9 months of lying to her husband about being pregnant.
I've never seen this level of crazy until 3 months later, when said Marine reunited with bat sh*t crazy girl even after all that.
We salute you!
Giphy
Standing gate guard in Washington DC. Officer's wife drives through the gate and presents her ID. I wave her through. She doesn't move, asking me if I forgot something. I said no, I didn't believe I did. She said I forgot to salute her, pointing to the blue sticker on her windshield. I leaned close to her windshield and saluted the sticker, wishing it a good afternoon.
I got removed from that duty.
That's f*cked up.
I was stationed at Ft. Knox Ky in the late 80s. A soldier's child turned up missing. Damn near every solider on Ft. Knox was looking for this kid. We looked for days. Kid never turns up.
I leave, and move on.
Several years later I'm sent back to Ft. Knox. Out of the blue, a bunch of activity is happening at a park several miles away.
The little girl turned up, (some of her anyway) and it turns out that the soldiers wife (the girls step mom) killed the girl. The soldier came home found out and hid the body in the park.
The whole case was solved because the older sister of the girl was starting to get worried she was next. Told a teacher who got the police involved.
That the worst I've heard of, over 20+ years in the Army. Plenty of cheating, plenty of other stuff.
Wack.
I got restationed back in the states from Germany.
I flew my German girlfriend over and we ended up getting married. She went back to Germany 4 days later and I never saw her again.
Wack.
Yikes.
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Oh, I'm gonna post some of my friend's highlights. She was the midwife on an air force base. Delivered lots of babies.
- Colonel brought his 16 year old daughter in because she was pregnant. Turns out the father was a new junior enlisted. He did not last long in the military.
- Dude's wife left him, and moved in with her boyfriend off base while he was deployed. She got knocked up. Since they were still married, she was still going to the base for medical care. Their divorce wasn't final by her due date, so she still got to go on base and deliver. Her soon to be ex husband (the military guy) had his buddies in security forces put a security flag on his soon to be ex wife's boyfriend. The boyfriend couldn't be on base for the birth of his child.
- And, always the favorite, babies coming out with the wrong ethnic background of the father was at least a once a year thing.
What a thing to come home to.
A friend of mine came home one day early from a year long deployment. Wife was busy screwing another guy on the couch. In the bedroom was a baby she had never mentioned, fathered by yet a third guy.
The best way to meet someone.
Oh man so many. One friend in the Corps, a first term sergeant who HATED every minute he was in uniform. He reenlisted so she could go to school. Left for deployment after reenlistment, came back to a divorce and a drained bank account.
Had another Sergeant who met his wife while he and like seven other guys were hooking up with her. He decided he needed to marry her. So many stories there, but I mean he probably deserved them. 'Cause I mean wow.
Don't do it.
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A guy in my shop (Air Force) deployed to Iraq for 4.5 months. Before he left he signed over general power of attorney to his wife. While he was gone, she started f*cking another guy in our shop, then signed the divorce paperwork as his power of attorney and his rights to see his kids, as well as draining his bank account.
She went to live with the other guy in my shop and his friend off base. They were both arrested for check fraud when trying to pass off a check that was the roommates in the shoppette on base.
The guy she divorced eventually got full custody of the kids and the other guy in my shop got kicked out of the AF.
There were other stories of cheating and all of that kind of sh*t, but this one takes the cake, she actively worked to ruin his life when all he did was love his kids and get deployed to Iraq.
Don't give anyone general power of attorney, ever. I don't care how much you trust them or how much you think they love you. Don't do it. You can give them specialized power of attorney that only allows them to handle your affairs that you very specifically need them to handle.
These Conspiracy Theories Are Easy to Debunk | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
The last line of this takes the cake.
Our neighbors, two, brought us some stories.
One. Unit deployed and she met a new guy. Used power of attorney to divorce the husband overseas and married the new guy so quick she was able to stay on base in the same house. First husband came home and ended up being in the same platoon as second husband who now lived in his house with his kids and all his belongings.
Two. When we first moved in on base we had a neighbor that was super friendly. Wife told us she had cancer so her brother was staying with her to take care of her. We think nothing of it. A few months later they moved out to live off base. Normal thing so no reason to be skeptical. Fast forward a few months and I'm shoveling the driveway and a guy from next door comes over to say hi. I say hi and welcome him as a new neighbor.
He's not a new neighbor, he's had that house for a couple years. I got confused and asked about the woman who had moved out recently. He told me that woman was his wife, the brother was her lover, she didn't have cancer, and she spent all his money on Farmville then moved out with everything they owned.
What a garbage person.
My brother in-law was on both sides of sh*tty cheating stories.
He married a woman he chatted to online for a few weeks when he was 19. Then he had to go to Iraq. A month after he left she told him that he got her pregnant. He comes home after 6 months then she has the baby....the baby definitely is not his.
Fast forward 10 years. He's married to an awesome chick we all like. She works a job and takes care of everything around the house. He cheats on her with a 18 year old girl that worked at Sonic. She catches him and leaves for a weekend to go stay with her sister to figure out what to do. He puts all her stuff in cardboard boxes out under the carport and moves in the new girl.
Do you know who my husband is?
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This is more of an annoyance than anything.
While helping load my sergeant and other members of my public affairs unit up for deployment (I was a late add on, deploying some weeks later) a somewhat large woman with about 4 kids (oldest was about 14 or 15) came up to me after clapping her hands and shouting 'ducks in a row!' All her kids lined up and lock step marched behind her, up to me.
She ordered me to watch her kids while she did something. Umm...no. I'm not a baby sitter and if anything goes wrong, I will not be held accountable.
So these kids proceed to tear into the stacks of duffle bags, ruck sacks and assault bags waiting to be loaded on a truck while no one chaperoned them. This woman shows back up, shouting 'do you know who my husband is?' (yeah, he's just a staff sergeant in communications) and was furious I wasn't watching her kids.
Other higher ranking types eventually shuffled her and the kids away.
I've had other incidents with spouses before, but this is the one that stands out.
How lazy.
Late to the party but here goes. I wasn't the person in the situation, but my friend was and told me about it. My friend is military, so he travels and moves frequently. He owns a house where I live, but was unable to live in it for a few years due to the job and rented it out to several people. The family that rented were a nightmare.
They were also military, so my friend thought they'd be good tenants. The service member was deployed soon after moving in, so the spouse stayed in the home for several months by herself. She was really lazy, and often called my friend (who lived across the country at the time) to try and figure out fixes to her mild inconveniences. Things like a lawn mower not working, or billing issues, this lady called about every issue she encountered even if she was the cause of it. My friend had to pay people to fix all of these things that she was causing just because she didn't want to take care of her problems.
When they finally moved out my buddy told me to head over and take a look at the place. It was terrible, the bathroom mirror was all messed up, they painted rooms without permission, there was even a giant hole in the wall. My friend was not happy to say the least.
Uninvited.
Obligatory not a service member but, I work at a summer camp at Carney Park in Naples. The Park was used by both Italian and Naval Government. We have forrest fires just on the other side of park borders with fire crew on standby. The wife of an E8 went up to the gate and demanded that the Officer in charge of security demanded they evacuate the park and that they due something about the fires. At this time it is a good time to note the fires were in Italian Jurisdiction, the Italians simply didn't care.
Anyway the Security said they would evacuate the park as soon as they got the order. The lady went apesh*t, one phone call later and the Security officer (who's son was a camper) and Naval equivalent of the first sergeant (also in the park) drove down down from the hill where they were monitoring the fire and told the angry spouse if she wanted to leave she was free to anytime she wanted. When she went to pout to her husband (Airforce) he told her there was nothing he could do. Then she complained to the camp director (also had staff monitoring the fires) and requested the same) that was when she got a much needed lesson and was told her husbands rank meant nothing and she had no say in the matter. She was not invited back to work the next year.
Yikes.
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Not a service member but a now veteran's wife.
This story is my husband's so I'll have to give him credit for it. (All names have been changed)
So there was this Soldier (I don't remember his rank) we will call him Dallas. Now Dallas's First Sgt. was a well respected individual. Someone people should look up to. You know all of that. And from what I heard, he wanted to be just like him.
So Dallas has a 24 hr. shift that he has to work that night which was unexpected but he was instructed by his first Sgt. to work it. Whatever, it happens all the time. Well, later in his shift, Dallas forgot something at the house so he got his buddy to fill in at his post to grab it at the house really quick and didn't tell his first Sgt.
What does Dallas find when he gets home? His wife, and his First Sgt. Having sex on their living room floor as soon as he walks in. She's naked and so is he.
Word spreads fast all around the company, then to other companies. Then the whole base knows and the story is later used in a meeting for the wives of how to overcome loneliness. (That I had to endure) Not only that the first Sgt. Was demoted but Dallas and his wife stayed together. And the wife now having a bit of infamy, has all the soldiers flirting with her at a company family event while all Dallas can do is get pissed, drink beer and watch as his wife flirts with his fellow soldiers.
Thank goodness this had a happy ending.
I'll put in my treo cents.
I an the product of one of these type of stories. My birth father was in the army, tank division in Texas late '70s early '80s. Wanted to date a girl, she didn't. So he started dating her underage sister. Crossed into Mexico to get married since her parents didn't like him. Moved her into base housing apartments with him.
She apparently suffered from mental health issues. They had me in late '82. She started cheating on him, having mental breaks, lots of crazy sh*t including attempting to kill me three separate times and setting the apartment on fire. He was told by his command to either divorce her, or be kicked out. He got kicked out. This is after he turned down West Point more than once since she didn't want to leave Texas.
Happy ending for me, she lost custody, he signed custody over to HIS father, and I was adopted by my grandparents. I didn't know any of this until I was 13. I was two months old when my grandparents got me. A lot to unpack as an early teen, and a lot of personal work went into working it out for myself. But I am fairly well adjusted and happy with a family of my own now.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.