Gas stations are a necessary evil. They often smell, they can take a while, you have to drop some cash, and there's no knowing who you'll encounter there.
It was that last detail that a recent Reddit thread zeroed in on.
Plenty of people have all sorts of alarming stories to come out of their time spent at gas stations. Nighttime stops are especially infamous.
So if you have any interest in thinking twice the next time you go to fill up, read on.
Redditor loftwinglink asked:
"What's the scariest experience you've ever had at a gas station or rest stop?"
Many people shared experiences that were downright creepy. Sometimes the vibes are just palpably unnerving.
"Bitter cold, dark MN winter, gassing up at 5:30am. Just barely awake."
"While I'm at the pump, I see a bundled up dude, hoodie pulled tight around his face walk out of the gas station, right past my pump, avoids eye contact and heads down the street. No big deal, it's winter, right?"
"I finish fueling up, pay at the pump. I head to the station to grab a snack and the door is locked. Lights on, I can see employees gathered in there...but they won't let me in."
"Suddenly it dawns on me... They just got robbed. At gunpoint. By the dude that had just walked by me a minute ago."
"Checked the news later that day. A robbery. If I had been 2 minutes earlier, I'd have been inside while it happened."
"Crazy world, I tell ya."
Nope, Nope, Nope
"A while ago I had an early flight leaving at 6am so I was driving to the off-airport parking and was very low on gas. I pulled into a gas station close to the airport around 4am."
"The station was poorly lit and I noticed there were two guys sitting outside drinking and a third guy came out - but I was the only one at the pumps. When the third guy started walking to my car I realized how vulnerable I was. I drove away immediately without getting gas."
Very Poor Maintenance
"Just last week I was returning a rental car to an Enterprise location in Philadelphia and needed to top up the gas tank. The only gas station the Waze app would show us close by was a Getty."
"When we pulled up to the station my eyes went wide: every single pump was vandalized (broken or missing panels/signs), broken glass all over the parking lot, all of the doors were shuttered except for one lone door and a weak 'open' light."
"We drove right through without stopping and just returned the car without filling the tank."
When YOU Are the Creepy
"This is probably the reverse of what people expect to read here. It's not like it's a spooky horrifying experience, just my scariest experience. Some friends and I wanted some snacks from corner store/gas station, I was sitting in the back right seat... so pulled up near the front and dropped me off in and out... "
"So anyways I grab all the snacks and come back out and enter back into the car and before / while entering I can't see my friends in the front.... huh? Anyways I continue to enter the car and sit down look to my left and there's a little kid just sitting there staring at me. I was the stranger."
"I entered the exact same car model/color where it dropped me off like 1 minute earlier but it was not my friends vehicle.... all I could think is that some dad is about explode on me... so I quickly get out of the vehicle and spot my friends parked just ahead in a parking spot now and quickly head over and recount what just happened."
"So that may have been my scariest experience and that kids scariest experience."
Nowhere to Go
"Waiting for a complete tire change at a garage in San Antonio years ago. Guy beside me noticed I smoked a pipe. (Since stopped smoking)."
"He pulls out a tobacco pouch, unzips it, and holds it out. 'Check what I keep in there,' he says. So I look. Find a severed human finger."
"He goes on to explain he was an interrogator for the Army and took it as a souvenir in South America."
"So I'm sitting beside a psychopath pretending everything's normal for like an hour. Freaked me out. Creepy as anything."
The Getaway Car
"4 friends and I were driving from Ontario Canada to Florida for New Years. We drove 21 hours straight to get there. In rural West Virginia our SUV ran out of gas and we luckily coasted into a super sketchy gas station in the middle of nowhere at 230am. Not a soul in site. The man behind the counter told us to put 5$ in the car and get the hell out of there."
"The gas station was notorious for late night robberies. As we were just about finished filling up, 3 men with guns emerged from the darkness and began walking directly towards our vehicle. I wasn't waiting around to see what they wanted."
"Jumped in the suv and took off. 15-20 minutes down the road was a small town with a well lit station, we decided to stop their and finish filling the tank."
"Was trying to pay for gas at the pump with a credit card. It said card declined, please see cashier. So I tried a different card. That one also said card declined, see cashier. I didn't want to go in. So I drove my car around to another pump there. I use a different card again to try to pay and once again, it says card declined, see cashier."
"At this point I was annoyed so I was like, maybe if they swipe it inside, it'll work. So I went in. The cashier was like finally you came in, you're so beautiful, etc etc what is your number?"
"It completely creeped me out because I think he was purposely declining my card at the pump so I'd have to go inside and see him"
Others shared stories about the dangerous moments they've encountered at the pump. Remember, it's all flammable.
"Working at a gas station. This lady came in through the front door and said she was having a problem out at the pumps."
"She'd clicked the lever that let the nozzle keep pumping gas, but then somehow managed to pull the nozzle out of her car's receptacle. Not knowing what to do, she walked to the store and told me about it."
"I thought she'd just spilled a little gas on the pad, but no...she'd left the nozzle on the ground, spilling gallons of fuel onto the pad. By the time I got out there, it was a pool of flammable liquid."
"Holy sh**. Shut down the pumps, evacuate the area, call the fire department. No, ma'am, don't get into your car and drive away. Don't touch anything. The FD showed up and said 'wow...we've never seen anything this bad.' "
"Fortunately, the gas station didn't blow up. Took a few hours to clean up the mess. In the middle of an Arizona summer. In 100 degree heat."
"20 years ago I worked at a marina gas dock. Guy comes in to get his boat filled"
"What no one knew was that the guys who had just finished fixing his boat hadn't properly reconnected up his gas lines."
"So as my coworker was pumping gas into his boat, the gas isn't going into his fuel tank, but was instead flowing into his bilge"
"Then the bilge pump automatically kicked in to deal with the rising 'water' level inside the boat."
"Had that pump sparked, the fireball would have burned us all to dust. Instead it just created a bit of an ecological nightmare as all the gas that we'd pumped into the boat got pumped out into the lake."
People Share Which Social Norms Absolutely Baffle Them | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
A Foot Away
"I was parked at a rest stop in the middle of Texas, stretching my legs. There was a good amount of traffic right behind me on the highway and plenty of road noise."
"As I stepped towards the restrooms, I heard some horns honking so I glanced over my shoulder while walking and felt a rush of wind and the roar of a truck engine go past me."
"Traffic was stopping on the highway and an 18 wheeler lost its brakes and went hauling a** through the rest stop parking lot and nearly took me and 4 cars out, but managed to avoid everything except a dog poop station on his way through."
"If I wouldn't have slowed down to look over my shoulder, I would have been a smear on the asphalt"
Zero Thinking Happening Here
"Dude flicked a cigarette but into a garbage can filled mostly with receipt paper and the whole can lit on fire; I quickly dumped the can over, stomped out what I could, and poured the absorbent cat-litter like stuff over it to put it out."
"When I called the guy a fu**ing idiot, he threatened to call the manager."
"Me and a few mates were driving back from getting McDonalds when I was about 19 and I stopped to fill up my car on the way back. I fill, pay, then head back to my car and decide to clean the windscreen because it's pretty dirty."
"As I'm doing so, the guy who works there comes barreling out the doors, screaming and waving his arms. He looked completely insane and he was running right towards me. I sh** myself and run through all the reasons why a perfectly normal station attendant has suddenly gone full axe murderer crazy."
"It's not until I look behind me that I see one of my mates standing next to the car, lighting a cigarette, 5ft from the bowsers. His reason as he would later quote was 'You were taking too long.' I stood there gobsmacked as the guy screamed at my friend and then at me, who honestly had zero idea it was happening or that he could be that fu**in stupid."
"For the record. I am not friends with that guy anymore."
Finally, plenty of people have been unlucky enough to encounter violence at the pump. Though it didn't involve them directly, it was horrifying to witness.
A Nearly-Lethal Blow
"Gas station in Poway CA in 2009, I witnessed an attempted murder. I was sitting in my truck with the lights off late at night. I saw a a teenager hit another teenager in the head with what looked like a chunk of rebar. Kid went down and the other kid ran away. Somebody called 911."
"Kid was unconscious and bleeding. Ambulance came for the kid. I Gave a description to the cops. They found the kid in a garage a block away. I identified him from the back of the police cruiser while the cops had him pressed against the wall. I had to give a statement of what I witnessed to the juvenile court in San Diego."
All for $60
"I went to pick my sister up from the circle K she worked at. There were cops and an ambulance (leaving) when I pulled up. Found out that my baby sister had been jumped and was robbed."
"I get to the ER and she has a blanket pulled up to her face and she is saying. 'Don't freak out. Don't freak out. I'm ok' she took it like a champ I'm telling you.
"She had 2 black eyes. A broken elbow. A split lip. Broken nose."
"The video was hard to watch. She came out of the freezer to say hello and he hit her so hard in the face that she fell backwards into the freezer and hit the floor. He stood over her and continued to punch and kick her. My 100 lb sister is seen kicking and punching him back."
"She was more mad that she was beat up over 60 dollars in the register than anything else. Because she had pulled the drop out and had it sitting in a folder under the register and the man didn't grab it. 😂 'If I am going to get beat up he could have at least took the 400 dollars under the register.' "
"The crazy thing was the man was caught. Covered in blood. They tested the DNA on from the on him for the trial…. The blood didn't belong to him or my sister. 😳"
Of course, it's important to keep in mind that this is a biased sample of people's worst moments. But nonetheless, keep that head on a swivel next time you're gassing up.
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Remember way back when the internet wasn't a flaming dumpster fire?
Yeah, us either.
The internet has always been a mess, but it's also always been beautiful.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"Giphy
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."Giphy
The Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."Giphy
Figuring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."Giphy
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"Giphy
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."Giphy
A Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."Giphy
Go Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."Giphy
It Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."Giphy
We Used To Love Yahoo
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."Giphy
On a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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