What is "normal" anyway?
Does something being "normal" mean that it's right or healthy? Or safe? Or even makes sense?
Reddit user Buttercuppy44 asked:
"What's something people should stop normalizing?"
... and you know what... a lot of this kinda hit in that uncomfortable way that makes you re-think things. So let's talk about it and maybe change some habits.
Humans Need Sleep
Tired Jet Lag GIFGiphy"Bragging about getting less than 6 hours of sleep." - sumtinfunny
"It honestly scares me when I hear people brag about getting next to no sleep and I know that they drive to get around."
"There have been studies that driving tired can be just as dangerous as driving drunk, and all it takes is one time nodding off at the wheel for someone to get killed." - danger-daze
"This really aggravates me.. I dated a girl in high school would force herself to INTENTIONALLY stay awake, then put black makeup on under her eyes and act fake-tired to give off the impression of not being able to sleep."
"It genuinely irritates me when people say and do things like that when in reality they're sleeping like babies and there's people with actual sicknesses like insomnia and depression who don't sleep at night." - bongripsnkickflips
"Admittedly this was me years ago until I realized what an idiot I was being and that also no one cared. No one was gonna give me a medal for gaming all night and then telling the office the next day." - KatanaDV20
Sick Days
I Feel Sick GIFGiphy"Coming to work sick. People tend to get praised for that, but they are in fact just endangering others to get sick as well and in the end it costs the company more as if they just stayed home." - derEggard
"This always gets to me. Two kinds of people stand out at work:"
"Those that take a sick day off for a light headache or just outright skive, causing more work for others constantly - who obviously take the piss, and I mean obviously."
"Then there are the people who come into work on death's door, potentially spreading what they have when they should be home resting, which makes other people sick who take time off or make other people sick..."
"If you're sick, go home! If you're not sick, go to work!" - Yayzeus
"I used to work in a grocery store that did service awards every year. One year a Bakery worker was awarded for never taking a sick day on his 25 year career."
"I cannot believe the man had never been sick in 25 years - and he's the one preparing the baked goods." - goldanred
A Badge Of Honor
Stressed Paper GIF by Two Mortgage GuysGiphy"Overworking really has become a badge of honor. Probably because sometimes it's rewarded."
"I've seen people get praise for working late from their leaders. Things like, "Hey I see the people who stay late" when someone leaves hours after close."
"What if their time management just sucks? What if they're just catching up as a personal preference and it's not hard nor necessary? And heaven forbid, what if the person leaving on time wants to be with family or live life beyond work?" - dayron669
"I've seen people still wear it like a badge of honor even when it's NOT encouraged!"
"Those people drive me a bit nuts, if I'm honest, and I've made a point of telling them that it's neither healthy nor a good way to get 'noticed' (I'm going the networking route instead to get recognition within the company which is genuinely paying off)."
"The reward for doing more work is more work - not a pay rise. I wish people would understand this." - XCinnamonBun
Enough With The Ads
Comedy Central Advertising GIF by South ParkGiphy"Ads on stuff you've paid for."
"It's bad enough on TV, but now some companies are talking about doing ads on video games! Whoever thought TV-ads on full priced games is a good idea, should take a shower in white phosphorus." - DinkaHakumai
"My ISP started putting unskippable ads at the start of recorded shows because everyone was obviously skipping them. This should 100% be illegal." - microwavedave27
"And the ads at the pump. Can I not get gas without commercials?" - bonafidebunnyeyed
"They even have floating advertisements on some beaches in Florida. These companies won't chill."
"Man imagine relaxing on a beautiful beach at sunset and some a**hole's got a bright movie screen playing ads across the horizon..." - a-strange-glow
Marriage Isn't Jail
married with children ed oneill GIFGiphy"Married couples disliking one another. Normalizing abusive and toxic elements in marriage is lame, bro." - user deleted
"I cant stand when people post sh*tty marriages on social media as a joke. Oh, my husband ignores me and only talks to our dog so funny. So lame.." - SpaceAlienCowGirl
"This. I'm straight as an arrow and I prefer seeing gay relationships in media because 9 times out of 10 they're healthy, functional, and it's obvious that the ones in a said relationship truly care and appreciate each other."
"Meanwhile almost every straight relationship just makes me question love in its entirety." - Insanebrain247
"I really hate the trope of husband and wife hate each other or when someone gets married everyone make jokes about how terrible marriage is."
"It shouldn't be like that. I feel like it's normalizing it so much to the point that people get married and almost expect to hate each other" - HermitToadSage
"Yep! I hate this stereotype that marriages almost always consist of two people with secret deep-rooted hate for one another."
"It's made into this thing we laugh about and see so much of in movies & stuff that people accept it in their own marriage & just stay together unhappy and subjecting their kids to so much!"
"It's not normal at all. If you married the wrong person for you, get a freaking divorce and move on. Stop staying in miserable marriages." - jadedjade94
Your Opinion
Sassy Swipe GIF by Real Prosperity, Inc.Giphy"Having an opinion on everything. It's okay to look at something on the internet and think to yourself 'I don't have to care about this.' " - SymphonicStorm
"This is amazing advice."
"On some issues that affect me directly, I have a strong opinion - but for most things, I just don't. I always respond with something so neutral that the only people who get offended by it are people who are looking for a reason to get offended."
"The best thing to say against someone who is trying to get offended is: 'I don't know enough about [subject] to have a strong opinion.' " - AceP_
"My dad recently asked me what I thought about Critical Race Theory. I told him I hadn't heard any clear enough definition of it such that I could have an opinion (though I knew exactly whose interpretation of it he was going on lol), and asked him what he thought it meant."
"He took a beat to ponder, then changed the subject." - akgeekgrrl
Vacay
Tamar Braxton Love GIF by WE tvGiphy"Working while on vacation. You go on vacation to relax and enjoy yourself, not to try to fill out spreadsheets and deal with work stuff in your hotel room." - earhere
"We just need TWO DAYS for our wedding tomorrow and a relax day Monday - and my fiancé is having a meltdown trying to get things prepared for not being there."
"It breaks my heart. He works 6 days a week and if he takes a day off he is dealing with a week worth of mistakes the other workers have made or fixing things they slacked off on. He gets 4 phone calls and loads of text messages every time he tries to relax."
"The worst part, he isn't a doctor or runs an emergency service company or anything. He's the manager of a f*cking shoe store!"
"Like it's not life or death. Leave the guy alone. It's f*cking shoes." - malice816
Down With Homework
Studying College Life GIFGiphy"I don't think homework should be a thing. As an adult, you are not supposed to work on your free time. Neither should kids."
"As an adult, doing more hours of work after work is seen as a sign that you're being overworked. The same should apply to children." - keeperofheads
"My oldest had to go through this."
"She would get so overwhelmed she'd run out of time and just shove assignments under her bed. Luckily, my youngest is now in high school and rarely has homework."
"All that excessive homework sets kids up to take jobs that have them take work home as adults. It's seriously problem in the US" - SixxTheSandman
"At the risk of undermining the efforts of students reading this, there is no evidence that regular homework is of any benefit."
"I talked to an acquaintance who is an educational researcher and she said there's squat evidence. The only time it helps is if there is a remedial necessity. And then only for limited periods."
"She said if you, say, were deficient in the math work being presented, then the best outcome was reached with a program of about a month. To upskill to the level being taught so that you "get" that section, ensuring the fundamentals up to that point were met."
"Then carry on as regular. Rinse and repeat if further issues arose."
"Not incessant hours every night. Homework should be of a remedial reactive nature. Fight me!!!" - hastingsnikcox
Wine Moms
Drink Drink Drink Drinking GIF by Cat & NatGiphy"Alcoholic moms."
"No, you don't NEED to bring wine to your daughters soccer game. It's not quirky. It's awful."
"Wine mom stuff on social media only strengthens it and makes it more popular." - DarthVerona
"I didn't realize how much alcoholism slips under the radar because of wine mom stuff until I quit drinking. It's everywhere." - blankspacefood
"Ugh, the whole "mommy juice" thing makes me cringe. If parenting is honestly that difficult and stressful for you, you're doing it wrong." - suchlovelylilacs
"My SIL does this all the time and she thinks she's being cool af. Recently it's come to light that's she's an alcoholic." - OtherComparison
That's Not Romance. That's Cheating
the notebook love GIFGiphy"Cheating. Sooo many 'love stories', or just any sort of romance movie released these days have cheating involved."
"It's always branded as this romantic thing to do. 'Oooo look at this dark and brooding handsome guy. Time to sleep with him and forget about my 2 year relationship!' or some sh*t like that."
"It's not romantic, it's cheating. And it's just wrong, and it should not be normalized." - VolcanicIron
"Example: The Office Jim and Pam."
"Pam had a boyfriend! Granted not a great one one, but that doesn't warrant cheating at all." - Aleasaurus
"I always hate the movies where the girl is seeing two guys at once (and it's not something they're all aware of and agreed to) cause she 'just can't decide.' "
"Then at the end she's like 'I choose you!' and then the guys supposed to be grateful even though she was seeing another dude the whole time" - Jack1715
Just Try Harder
try harder episode 12 GIF by The BachelorGiphy"That anything is possible if you try hard enough."
"Don't get me wrong - a lot is possible, but not eeeeeverything. There are factors beyond ourselves that determine our success. The best we can do is to give our best, and be happy that we've done so." - amarsupialmongoose
"This is also an important message for people with disabilities. We often hear something like 'You can do anything you could put your mind to, it just may be a little harder!' "
"No, that's not always true, and that's okay." - Jwalla83
"We tell kids they can be anything they want to be when they grow up, even an astronaut or The President - but job scarcity is real and we should be honest about it."
"I recognize the importance of that attitude on young kids: don't limit yourselves. But the truth is that there have only been 46 US Presidents and fewer than 1000 humans have gone to space." - Snoo74401
"Yes, exactly!"
"My son talked about being an astronaut on and off, but as he approached his teens, I finally leveled with him. I told him there was no way he was going to be an astronaut because he doesn't have perfect vision, so can't be a pilot in the armed forces to then get set on the very rarified path to get there."
"I also noted that if he was interested in space, there was a ton of stuff he could do and pointed out how the various rovers and probes and the like were doing far more these days than actual astronauts. There's so much potential for him to explore in the field that he can actually have a chance to do rather than waste his efforts striving towards something that is impossible."
"You don't want to discourage kids from dreaming or exploring their potential, but there's still a point where you need to balance that with a dose of reality. My five year old is never going to be a dragon anymore than my fourteen year old will be an astronaut, but I expect she'll figure that out on her own at some point before it becomes an issue. ;)" - TheFyrebird
"Telling people they can do anything if they just try harder is good in spirit, but absolutely toxic in effect. People learn to beat themselves up for not succeeding." - Fluid_reference
Now that we've read all the way through, I'm going to go get a mug of hot cocoa and stare pensively off into the distance while I think about all the ways I'm pretty sure some of this stuff has sabotaged my life.
Hmm. Time to process some things.
When we're young and naive, we tend to be optimistic as we have our whole lives ahead of us and we have to time to figure out who we are and who we want to be.
But when we're all grown up and out in the big world on our own, nothing can prepare us for the harsh realities of adulting until we experience them.
And unfortunately, life isn't always sunshine and roses the way we imagined it to be when we were much more innocent.
Curious to hear about life's many wake up calls Redditor Just_Surround_2108 asked:
"What is the adult version of finding out that Santa Claus doesn't exist?"
Life's deceptions begin slowly revealing themselves.
Caveat Emptor
"When you buy an 8-piece tupperware set, 4 of the pieces are lids."
– throwmeawaypoopy
"Same with pots and pans. What a rip off!"
– MrsMalvora
"And when you put them in the cabinet, suddenly SIX of the pieces are lids 😂"
– opheliainwaders
Value Of Friendships
"That some friends were never really your friend."
– Kangaroowrangler_02
"Also that friendships can end just like any relationship."
– ScienceUnicorn
"The best friend I'll ever have said some nasty things to me and blocked me recently. Never going to get much closure on that front."
"Not having closure is, with both friends and lovers, worse than the loss itself. I want to grow. Tell me what I need to become so this doesn't happen to me again!"
– VoxClarus
"On a related note: your co-workers are not your friends."
– tomdelfino
"I think most people seem to treat this as the default stance, but I’ve learnt you can actually make deep connections amongst coworkers, the same way you do in other stages of your life."
– immorjoe
The role of parent and child unexpectedly switches. So now what?
Who's Parenting Who
"That time period when your relationship switches and your parent looks to you for answers and advice, instead them being the one with all the answers."
– Smile_Terrible
"Not sure about that one. Dad simultaneously says I’m the smartest person he knows and I don’t know how to do anything lol."
– Puzzleheaded-Job6147
About Grieving
"When both your parents die. I am in my mid 50’s and had my mom pass on Mother’s Day ‘22. My Dad then was living with us from then, and eventually reached in-home hospice status with a sudden stage IV cancer diagnosis. He died in January of this year, and then I got laid off from my tech job and was unemployed for 10 months. Nothing takes the wonderment and positive outlook from the world than having to empty out your childhood home solo and throw everything you grew up with into a big dumpster and are left to wonder what our lives really mean."
– i_spock
Leaving Behind The House You Grew Up In
"I’m in the process of dismantling my childhood home right now. I’ve compared it to dismembering the dead body of a loved one. It’s really rough."
– HaloTightens
"my mum sold my childhood home a decade ago. i won't have to go through that."
– deathschemist
We all want to grow up when we're young. But as soon as reach reach 30, we want to slam on the breaks.
Aimlessness
"I thought I'd grow up, move out, find my footing in the grown up world and basically switch into cruise mode. Now I'm in my 40s and sh*t is confusing as f'k."
– Borsti17
"As adults, nobody knows what they're doing, we're just pretending we do."
– BeautifulMidnight-
Misconception Behind Work Integrity
"Being a hard worker and good at your job doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be rewarded for it."
– DorianOrosco
And the laziest person at work is allowed to be lazy, but the hardest worker isn’t allowed a break."
– Puzzleheaded-Job6147
We Are Our Parents
"Finding out that your parents are people, too, with weaknesses or flaws that you were blind to when you were young."
– tamammothchuk
"And the day you suddenly notice how old they are. When their mortality finally hits you."
– daggerxdarling
Living On Borrowed Time
"Yep had that day earlier this month. Was visiting for dad's 75th birthday."
"As I was leaving, out in the sunshine and fixing to get in the truck, I suddenly saw how small and frail-looking they are now. Mom hit me the hardest. She's started to shrink. They are both healthy, but Dad's just . . . worn."
"Been also doing the math lately. The math where you count up how many times you see them a year and then multiply that by how many years they have left according to the average."
"I've had enough crap and surprise losses in my life that I've long since started parting with family and friends like it might be the last time I get to see them. But that times left to see them calculation really clobbers me with my folks, and it's not even that bad yet for me. Given the ages of my grandparents when they passed I've probably still got somewhere between 150-200 visits."
"But the meter is running."
– Boudyro
I'm at the point where I'm realizing there are no handbooks on life and taking care of our parents.
When you're so used to having them there and taking care of you your whole life, nothing can prepare you for the time when that role reversal happens.
As tough as that may be, however, there's nothing more beautiful in life than returning the favor for the people who loved you unconditionally and raised you.
It's not attractive to gloat.
And there is little more obnoxious than flaunting how wealthy you are.
Particularly if you aren't even that wealthy to begin with.
Indeed, perhaps to make themselves feel more powerful and important than they actually are, many people will try and show off how much money they have in what they wear, eat, live in, and drive.
However, not everyone is so easily fooled, as those in the know can detect a charlatan when they see one.
Redditor aloe_veracity16 was eager to hear the dead giveaways that someone might not be as wealthy as they appear, leading them to ask:
"What’s a dead giveaway that someone is not actually as wealthy as they claim?"
Stating The Obvious...
"When they constantly talk about how wealthy they are."
"A genius doesn't need to tell you they are smart."
"An athlete doesn't need to tell you they are fit."
"And a rich person shouldn't need to tell you they are wealthy."- TigLyon
Attracting Unwanted Attention...
"90% of the wealthy shut the f**k about it, because they learn once they start making good money everyone wants a piece."
"Talking about it constantly = broke AF."- Vladtehwood
Simply By Doing It...
"Making the claim at all is a dead giveaway."- Starfox41
In Plain Sight...
"People who actually ARE wealthy mostly try to hide it."- Matt7738
"Living In A Material World..."
"I'm not well-versed in judging someone's wealth, but I do notice that the fake rich only look rich on social media and try their hardest to go to popular locations celebrities post."
"I know a couple of friends of friends who took out a loan just to keep up the facade that they're all in on the latest iPhones and wearables."
"They built a persona of being a rich kid, so now they have to stay the course."- anima99
Flaunt Modesty, Not Wealth...
"As a person which knows many very rich people."
"I can guarantee that not a single one of them wants to be known as rich."- CompetitivePause9033
Schitts Creek Flirt GIF by CBCGiphyWe Heard You The First Time!!!
"When they repeatedly and adamantly tell you how wealthy they are."- Famous_Bit_5119·
Experiences Over Stuff!
"I feel like actual rich people prioritize vacations/travel, buying their kids cars, paying for their kids/grandkids tuition."
"They don’t spend money on flashy or luxury stuff as much."- Klesea
Summer Time GIF by Merge MansionGiphyAll In The Editing...
"Ever notice how those jet setting influencers that post their pictures out of the airplane window are behind the wing?"
"They're in coach."
"The picture in business is where they stopped to pose on the way through."- Turbulent-Ask-2633
Pack Light...
"Private Jet pilot friend of mine said for the slightly wealthy they bring loads of luggage."
"The ultra rich bring a day bag they have enough money to buy clothes when they get there or already have clothes waiting on them."- hadmeatgotmilk
The Less Said...
"I never met a wealthy person that talks about it."
"They don't need to."- 181Eclipse·
Christina Moses Secrets GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"See The Pyramid [SCHEMES!] Along The Way..."
"They make a goofy advertisement for some book or course that 'will help you get rich too!'"
"If they were actually rich, they would be on some tropical beach engaging in whatever vices they enjoy most-not hocking some get-rich-quick scheme."- illegalopinion3
All About The Simple Things...
"My dad's entire job is managing millionaire / billionaire philanthropy accounts, so I’ve grown up surrounded by some of the wealthiest people in the country."
"And I never knew until I got older how these 'Mr. Smith' and 'Ms. Jones' people that I’d grown up hanging out with were anything above upper middle class."
"Normal clothes, modest homes, very down to earth and funny people."
"Big wealth, and especially old wealth, is quiet wealth."- Travel_and_Tea·
Anything But Proud...
"I have a family member who insists she and her husband are upper middle class."
"She isn’t."
"She’s rich (8 figures), but it hurts her in some sort of primal way to acknowledge that."
"Her adult brother is also wealthy, although not as much as his sister."
"Likely also 8 figures."
"He insists he’s blue collar and middle class."
"There’s something in their upbringing that makes them ashamed of having 'made it' financially."- strangled_spaghetti
Blue Collar Work GIF by Pudgy PenguinsGiphyPeople will try to come off as wealthier than they are for a multitude of reasons.
But just like any facade, keeping it up eventually becomes untenable.
This is why it's always most important to be grateful for the things you have, rather than flaunt what you wish you had.
