What is "normal" anyway?
Does something being "normal" mean that it's right or healthy? Or safe? Or even makes sense?
Reddit user Buttercuppy44 asked:
"What's something people should stop normalizing?"
... and you know what... a lot of this kinda hit in that uncomfortable way that makes you re-think things. So let's talk about it and maybe change some habits.
Humans Need Sleep
Tired Jet Lag GIFGiphy"Bragging about getting less than 6 hours of sleep." - sumtinfunny
"It honestly scares me when I hear people brag about getting next to no sleep and I know that they drive to get around."
"There have been studies that driving tired can be just as dangerous as driving drunk, and all it takes is one time nodding off at the wheel for someone to get killed." - danger-daze
"This really aggravates me.. I dated a girl in high school would force herself to INTENTIONALLY stay awake, then put black makeup on under her eyes and act fake-tired to give off the impression of not being able to sleep."
"It genuinely irritates me when people say and do things like that when in reality they're sleeping like babies and there's people with actual sicknesses like insomnia and depression who don't sleep at night." - bongripsnkickflips
"Admittedly this was me years ago until I realized what an idiot I was being and that also no one cared. No one was gonna give me a medal for gaming all night and then telling the office the next day." - KatanaDV20
Sick Days
I Feel Sick GIFGiphy"Coming to work sick. People tend to get praised for that, but they are in fact just endangering others to get sick as well and in the end it costs the company more as if they just stayed home." - derEggard
"This always gets to me. Two kinds of people stand out at work:"
"Those that take a sick day off for a light headache or just outright skive, causing more work for others constantly - who obviously take the piss, and I mean obviously."
"Then there are the people who come into work on death's door, potentially spreading what they have when they should be home resting, which makes other people sick who take time off or make other people sick..."
"If you're sick, go home! If you're not sick, go to work!" - Yayzeus
"I used to work in a grocery store that did service awards every year. One year a Bakery worker was awarded for never taking a sick day on his 25 year career."
"I cannot believe the man had never been sick in 25 years - and he's the one preparing the baked goods." - goldanred
A Badge Of Honor
Stressed Paper GIF by Two Mortgage GuysGiphy"Overworking really has become a badge of honor. Probably because sometimes it's rewarded."
"I've seen people get praise for working late from their leaders. Things like, "Hey I see the people who stay late" when someone leaves hours after close."
"What if their time management just sucks? What if they're just catching up as a personal preference and it's not hard nor necessary? And heaven forbid, what if the person leaving on time wants to be with family or live life beyond work?" - dayron669
"I've seen people still wear it like a badge of honor even when it's NOT encouraged!"
"Those people drive me a bit nuts, if I'm honest, and I've made a point of telling them that it's neither healthy nor a good way to get 'noticed' (I'm going the networking route instead to get recognition within the company which is genuinely paying off)."
"The reward for doing more work is more work - not a pay rise. I wish people would understand this." - XCinnamonBun
Enough With The Ads
Comedy Central Advertising GIF by South ParkGiphy"Ads on stuff you've paid for."
"It's bad enough on TV, but now some companies are talking about doing ads on video games! Whoever thought TV-ads on full priced games is a good idea, should take a shower in white phosphorus." - DinkaHakumai
"My ISP started putting unskippable ads at the start of recorded shows because everyone was obviously skipping them. This should 100% be illegal." - microwavedave27
"And the ads at the pump. Can I not get gas without commercials?" - bonafidebunnyeyed
"They even have floating advertisements on some beaches in Florida. These companies won't chill."
"Man imagine relaxing on a beautiful beach at sunset and some a**hole's got a bright movie screen playing ads across the horizon..." - a-strange-glow
Marriage Isn't Jail
married with children ed oneill GIFGiphy"Married couples disliking one another. Normalizing abusive and toxic elements in marriage is lame, bro." - user deleted
"I cant stand when people post sh*tty marriages on social media as a joke. Oh, my husband ignores me and only talks to our dog so funny. So lame.." - SpaceAlienCowGirl
"This. I'm straight as an arrow and I prefer seeing gay relationships in media because 9 times out of 10 they're healthy, functional, and it's obvious that the ones in a said relationship truly care and appreciate each other."
"Meanwhile almost every straight relationship just makes me question love in its entirety." - Insanebrain247
"I really hate the trope of husband and wife hate each other or when someone gets married everyone make jokes about how terrible marriage is."
"It shouldn't be like that. I feel like it's normalizing it so much to the point that people get married and almost expect to hate each other" - HermitToadSage
"Yep! I hate this stereotype that marriages almost always consist of two people with secret deep-rooted hate for one another."
"It's made into this thing we laugh about and see so much of in movies & stuff that people accept it in their own marriage & just stay together unhappy and subjecting their kids to so much!"
"It's not normal at all. If you married the wrong person for you, get a freaking divorce and move on. Stop staying in miserable marriages." - jadedjade94
Your Opinion
Sassy Swipe GIF by Real Prosperity, Inc.Giphy"Having an opinion on everything. It's okay to look at something on the internet and think to yourself 'I don't have to care about this.' " - SymphonicStorm
"This is amazing advice."
"On some issues that affect me directly, I have a strong opinion - but for most things, I just don't. I always respond with something so neutral that the only people who get offended by it are people who are looking for a reason to get offended."
"The best thing to say against someone who is trying to get offended is: 'I don't know enough about [subject] to have a strong opinion.' " - AceP_
"My dad recently asked me what I thought about Critical Race Theory. I told him I hadn't heard any clear enough definition of it such that I could have an opinion (though I knew exactly whose interpretation of it he was going on lol), and asked him what he thought it meant."
"He took a beat to ponder, then changed the subject." - akgeekgrrl
Vacay
Tamar Braxton Love GIF by WE tvGiphy"Working while on vacation. You go on vacation to relax and enjoy yourself, not to try to fill out spreadsheets and deal with work stuff in your hotel room." - earhere
"We just need TWO DAYS for our wedding tomorrow and a relax day Monday - and my fiancé is having a meltdown trying to get things prepared for not being there."
"It breaks my heart. He works 6 days a week and if he takes a day off he is dealing with a week worth of mistakes the other workers have made or fixing things they slacked off on. He gets 4 phone calls and loads of text messages every time he tries to relax."
"The worst part, he isn't a doctor or runs an emergency service company or anything. He's the manager of a f*cking shoe store!"
"Like it's not life or death. Leave the guy alone. It's f*cking shoes." - malice816
Down With Homework
Studying College Life GIFGiphy"I don't think homework should be a thing. As an adult, you are not supposed to work on your free time. Neither should kids."
"As an adult, doing more hours of work after work is seen as a sign that you're being overworked. The same should apply to children." - keeperofheads
"My oldest had to go through this."
"She would get so overwhelmed she'd run out of time and just shove assignments under her bed. Luckily, my youngest is now in high school and rarely has homework."
"All that excessive homework sets kids up to take jobs that have them take work home as adults. It's seriously problem in the US" - SixxTheSandman
"At the risk of undermining the efforts of students reading this, there is no evidence that regular homework is of any benefit."
"I talked to an acquaintance who is an educational researcher and she said there's squat evidence. The only time it helps is if there is a remedial necessity. And then only for limited periods."
"She said if you, say, were deficient in the math work being presented, then the best outcome was reached with a program of about a month. To upskill to the level being taught so that you "get" that section, ensuring the fundamentals up to that point were met."
"Then carry on as regular. Rinse and repeat if further issues arose."
"Not incessant hours every night. Homework should be of a remedial reactive nature. Fight me!!!" - hastingsnikcox
Wine Moms
Drink Drink Drink Drinking GIF by Cat & NatGiphy"Alcoholic moms."
"No, you don't NEED to bring wine to your daughters soccer game. It's not quirky. It's awful."
"Wine mom stuff on social media only strengthens it and makes it more popular." - DarthVerona
"I didn't realize how much alcoholism slips under the radar because of wine mom stuff until I quit drinking. It's everywhere." - blankspacefood
"Ugh, the whole "mommy juice" thing makes me cringe. If parenting is honestly that difficult and stressful for you, you're doing it wrong." - suchlovelylilacs
"My SIL does this all the time and she thinks she's being cool af. Recently it's come to light that's she's an alcoholic." - OtherComparison
That's Not Romance. That's Cheating
the notebook love GIFGiphy"Cheating. Sooo many 'love stories', or just any sort of romance movie released these days have cheating involved."
"It's always branded as this romantic thing to do. 'Oooo look at this dark and brooding handsome guy. Time to sleep with him and forget about my 2 year relationship!' or some sh*t like that."
"It's not romantic, it's cheating. And it's just wrong, and it should not be normalized." - VolcanicIron
"Example: The Office Jim and Pam."
"Pam had a boyfriend! Granted not a great one one, but that doesn't warrant cheating at all." - Aleasaurus
"I always hate the movies where the girl is seeing two guys at once (and it's not something they're all aware of and agreed to) cause she 'just can't decide.' "
"Then at the end she's like 'I choose you!' and then the guys supposed to be grateful even though she was seeing another dude the whole time" - Jack1715
Just Try Harder
try harder episode 12 GIF by The BachelorGiphy"That anything is possible if you try hard enough."
"Don't get me wrong - a lot is possible, but not eeeeeverything. There are factors beyond ourselves that determine our success. The best we can do is to give our best, and be happy that we've done so." - amarsupialmongoose
"This is also an important message for people with disabilities. We often hear something like 'You can do anything you could put your mind to, it just may be a little harder!' "
"No, that's not always true, and that's okay." - Jwalla83
"We tell kids they can be anything they want to be when they grow up, even an astronaut or The President - but job scarcity is real and we should be honest about it."
"I recognize the importance of that attitude on young kids: don't limit yourselves. But the truth is that there have only been 46 US Presidents and fewer than 1000 humans have gone to space." - Snoo74401
"Yes, exactly!"
"My son talked about being an astronaut on and off, but as he approached his teens, I finally leveled with him. I told him there was no way he was going to be an astronaut because he doesn't have perfect vision, so can't be a pilot in the armed forces to then get set on the very rarified path to get there."
"I also noted that if he was interested in space, there was a ton of stuff he could do and pointed out how the various rovers and probes and the like were doing far more these days than actual astronauts. There's so much potential for him to explore in the field that he can actually have a chance to do rather than waste his efforts striving towards something that is impossible."
"You don't want to discourage kids from dreaming or exploring their potential, but there's still a point where you need to balance that with a dose of reality. My five year old is never going to be a dragon anymore than my fourteen year old will be an astronaut, but I expect she'll figure that out on her own at some point before it becomes an issue. ;)" - TheFyrebird
"Telling people they can do anything if they just try harder is good in spirit, but absolutely toxic in effect. People learn to beat themselves up for not succeeding." - Fluid_reference
Now that we've read all the way through, I'm going to go get a mug of hot cocoa and stare pensively off into the distance while I think about all the ways I'm pretty sure some of this stuff has sabotaged my life.
Hmm. Time to process some things.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.