Chances are quite a few of you are/were Spongebob Squarepants fans. So you've likely seen the episode where Spongebob and Patrick "steal" a balloon and feel so guilty about it that they turn themselves in to the police - only to find out it was free balloon day and they turned themselves in for doing something perfectly legal.
That doesn't happen in the real world, though... right?
Reddit user Lockii asked:
Yeah it turns out it does actually happen - and the circumstances around it aren't always as funny as the free balloon day episode. In fact, they can sometimes be quite sad.
Burned Bridges
Had a drunk guy that burned his bridges with the temporary homeless shelter. Went to the hospital and got discharged and had no where to go. He kept telling me to take him to jail, but I didn't have a crime so I couldn't.
He got so pissed off because I had no other way to help him that he charged my coworker and wouldn't leave the property. I finally took him in for trespassing and assault.
Almost
I wasn't thrilled when I got a call from a grandmother saying that she almost, ALMOST left the oven on when going to Walmart for Christmas shopping. I politely told her that if no illegal trouble or acts were done then it was completely ok, She replied along the lines of "But it could've been very fatal, I should be arrested." I once again told her everything was alright and greeted her off.
Warrant Check
I once was in the office when someone came to the window and said he thought he had a warrant. We looked into it and found out that yes, he had a municipal warrant.
We went out and informed him that yes he had a warrant and we would take him in to custody. As we went to handcuff him he started to fight with us, with all of us ending on the ground. I was pretty baffled as to the whole situation.
Yes officer, I'd like to know if I need to be arrested but please don't arrest me if I do
Taking Pics
Giphy
Had someone come to the front desk to "confess" that they had taken pics of a few kids on the bus, and got the stink eye from the kids' mom. Person was afraid Mom would call it in first and she'd be arrested for...something.
Pic taker was an elderly lady who liked the kids' shirts and wanted to buy some for her own Grandkids but knew she wouldn't remember what the shirts looked like. Karen was having none of grandma's explanation though.
A Non-Existent Cigarette
Somewhere there's a great video of two teenagers who took Datura (a legal plant that causes hallucinations) and ended up turning themselves in to the police station because they were tripping too hard and couldn't handle it.
The cops put them in their own room and monitored them with cameras.
They passed a non-existent cigarette back and forth for like an hour.
Dude... This Is Amsterdam
Dutch police here. I once stopped a couple of American tourists for some small traffic violation. Like most times with tourists I just wanted to explain the situation and send them off. However these guys were really nervous and sketchy. One guy kept looking like he was about to run and started sweating. When I was calling some info in I saw them whispering and trying to secretly pass something between each other behind their back from the corner of my eye. My first thought was that they were trying to hide some weapon or whatever. The way how they did it spooked me for some reason. So I quickly pushed them against the car and the situation went grim and serious fast.
But turned out he was trying to hide one joint. And I looked at him and was like... "dude... this is Amsterdam... are you stupid?"
- RCL_D
Imagined Enemies
My buddy was a paranoid schizophrenic and walked into a police station then demanded to be arrested in order to protect himself from his imagined enemies.
That's Tom
Sometimes when I was in college my friends and I would go walk around downtown. It was nearing Thanksgiving time and my friend Chris and I were walking past a Hotel that had a nice bar in it and decided to stop for a drink. As we passed the side of the building to get to the entrance where the bar is there was a man full on passed out in the bushes.
Chris and I both looked at each other and I know we thought the same thing because we both told each other "That guys dead!" We then walked into the Hotel where a local police officer was there for some other reason and we let him know about the guy in the bushes.
The police officer just sighed and said, "Yeah. That's Tom. He does this because he's homeless and wants us to take him to jail or the hospital so he'll have somewhere warm to sleep."
Red Light
Giphy
Had a lady come into the lobby crying her eyes out because she thought she had ran a red light. Asked her if she actually did or not and she couldn't remember. She then proceeded to stick her hands out so I could cuff her. I had to explain. We don't arrest people for red light violations and even if she had she would've only gotten a ticket.
ER Security
I got arrested for reckless endangerment when I was 18. Went to court and worked something out where I chilled with the arresting officer at the hospital from 10p to like 3 a for 4 Friday nights. He had security for the ER during those times.
Homeless man came in and started saying his wife was there. He'd leave and come back proclaiming the same thing but couldn't answer any questions. Finally the cop was like, "Are you just looking for somewhere to sleep? Want be to just take you to jail? "
It was January. Homeless guy said yes. So they left.
But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
Lucky 13?
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
- rmorlock
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
- mox44ah
Sorry?
Bbc Three Idk GIF by BBCGiphy"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
Girl, Bye.
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphy"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
Crazy!
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
Hey Mom
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
- SgtGo
Liars...
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
Doubles
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.
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