Police Officers Share The Dumbest Call They Ever Had To Respond To[rebelmouse-image 18358713 is_animated_gif=
But what you can't be arrested for is calling 911 only for it to be a complete waste of time. If you felt you were in danger, you are legally entitled to call 911--which leads to some big, stupid phone calls.
Redditor MemeMasterFlexLord asked the internet:
Here were some of the answers.
You Know Nothing, John Snow[rebelmouse-image 18350495 is_animated_gif=
Was enroute to a domestic argument between husband and wife called in by a neighbor. Screams, swearing, hitting.
Arrived to a dude in his boxers by himself watching Game of Thrones on his surround sound.
The Price Of Good Neighboring[rebelmouse-image 18355285 is_animated_gif=
One day, I came home fairly late and noticed my car had been recently egged. I washed it off, but on a whim, I walked up the street and noticed that car had been egged too. I walk up and see two more. It's 2:30am. What to do? Wake up the owners?
I call the cops and tell them that I need to walk up the street with a flashlight and wash all the cars, and I'm not trying to break into them but it looks like lots of cars have been egged so I don't know how far I'll need to go. It's obvious the eggers are long gone. So if they get reports of a suspicious person, it's just me. I felt like an idiot.
Cop showed up and paced me the whole time with his car just to make sure no one shot me or anything. I washed about a dozen cars. I guess they just ran out of eggs.
This Is How IT Must Feel[rebelmouse-image 18358714 is_animated_gif=
Not a very long or crazy one, but today I responded to a woman "locked out" of her vehicle. Took me quite some time to get across town, find her in the giant mall parking lot, etc. The woman is crying hysterically when I get there about how scared she is about "never being able to drive her car again". I calm her down, take a look at the car, and open the passenger door. Just, open it. She only locked the driver door on accident and didn't try any of the other doors to open the car.
Ma'am. Relax.[rebelmouse-image 18358716 is_animated_gif=
Former cop. I was dispatched to a burglary in progress. A lady called and said she was locked inside her bedroom and people were rummaging through her living room of her apartment. She is hysterical and begging for us to rescue her. I mean she is beyond frantic. So me and my partner are racing there as fast as possible. Lights and sirens hoping to get there before she is brutally murdered. We get there, surround the apartment and I'm about to kick the door in. Then the door opens and the lady is standing there with the most embarrassed look on her face, hair a mess, disheveled pajamas. She forgot that she decided it was hot and opened her balcony door which created the desired breeze she wanted and blew some papers off her coffee table. That was it. The wind.
Repeat Offenders[rebelmouse-image 18358718 is_animated_gif=
Dealt with the same couple for about a year:
They would call anytime they were mad at each other and then layout their full exploits...but they were mundane.
"She takes pens from the bank"
"He speeds on Main Street"
No assault ever occurred, no abuse. Just two people who didn't know how to break up and wanted us to fix it for them.
Check Your Fridge[rebelmouse-image 18358719 is_animated_gif=
I'm a dispatcher, not a cop, but I once had to send an officer out to a lady's house because she had left town that morning and suddenly couldn't remember if she'd closed her refrigerator door before she left. The call came in at like 1am and she wanted us to send someone out to look in her windows to see if the fridge was closed (and possibly break in to close it if it was open, to which we said no f-cking way).
An officer was sent. The fridge was, in fact, closed.
Lawn Cops[rebelmouse-image 18358722 is_animated_gif=
Not a cop, but had my old neighbor call the cops on me for cutting my grass shorter than his so his house looked "trashy" in comparison and I refused to adjust my lawnmower because I didn't want to cut my grass twice as often. Cops show up and talk him, knock on my door preface it all by "Your neighbor is an absolute idiot, but we have to talk to everyone involved..." Then continued with me and the cops joking on my porch for 10 minutes about random shit while my neighbor watched fuming. He was then given a verbal trespass warning and told to not come to my door anymore. The rest of the neighborhood heard of the cops ordering him to leave me alone and anytime he went on his weekly crusade to tell people what's wrong with their yard in comparison to his they called and had him given trespass warnings so the next call would be criminal/arrest. He moved after he couldn't be the self appointed lawn cop of the place, no we didn't live in an HOA.
911: I'm Sleep Deprived[rebelmouse-image 18358723 is_animated_gif=
My fiancé is a cop and told me a story about someone calling the police because they were locked out of their house. Upon arriving to this ridiculous call (Who on earth calls 911 and not a locksmith?) it turned out that they were not locked out of their house but rather they were locked out of the bedroom. There was no child or pet or hazardous item that was locked in the bedroom. They calmly explained to this person that being locked out of your bedroom is not a police matter and advised that they call a locksmith.
The Poor Horse[rebelmouse-image 18358724 is_animated_gif=
Not a cop, but the cop did say "Well this was a waste of my time." So it's probably close enough.
I used to work at a horse board barn. A couple big barns, a few pastures and we had a 16 acre pasture across the street that we turned broodmares and retired horses out on. One day after lunch I walk out and there is a cop car sitting in the driveway. I sort of blink at it a bit and wonder if the cop is going to get out and come up to the gate or something (it was kinda surreal). Finally decide I should go out and ask if I could help him with something.
The first thing he says to me is "I'm pretty sure this is a waste of my time."
Turns out someone called in and said we had too skinny horses in a mud lot, with no access to water, and they were pretty sure one was dead already.
I just looked around at the (probably a bit too plump if I'm honest) happy horses wandering around the pastures (which were admittedly muddy... because it rained) and shrugged.
The cop just shook his head and told me to have a good day.
Also, just a general PSA... horses will sleep laying down. If you see a horse laying down, don't be too concerned. Yes, they will look dead, watch to see if they take a breath (respirations only about 10 breaths a minute)
Brown Goo[rebelmouse-image 18356114 is_animated_gif=
I'll post my brown goo story again:
I'm a reserve deputy now, but in the past I was an intern for my home town's police department for two summers. I saw a lot of calls that ended up being wastes of time, but this one was special.
The officer I was with got called to deal with a family issue involving a minor and some healthcare-type stuff, so I stayed in the car listening to the radio. With things like that, sometimes it was better I gave the family some privacy. There were three other officers on that day. One was being trained by the field training officer, so they rode together. The other had his own car. Anyway, I'm sitting listening to music, and a call comes out. (If any of you recognize this, I forgot numbers/exactly what was said). The call was along the lines of "323, [City Dispatch], can you head to [Address]? Caller is advising there is a brown goo in his alley."
"[Dispatch], 323. Brown goo?"
"10-4; he says it smells bad"
I'm still in the car waiting for my officer to get back, because I want to go see what this mystery goo is. More voices on the radio:
"[Dispatch], 323. I'm 10-23 (on scene). There's definitely brown goo. It definitely smells bad."
And more voices:
"[Dispatch], 316 and 324 are going to be out at [Address] investigating that goo as well."
The FTO had brought his trainee along. My officer hurries back to the car and we decide we need to also investigate this goo. We get to the address and pull into the alleyway. Now the entire city's police force is sitting in this tiny alleyway talking to the homeowner/caller. In the grass between the gravel of the alleyway and the back of the caller's garage is this foamy brown goo. It was baking in the summer sun, and smelled like a combination of roadkill and a ham and cheese sandwich that had been left sitting in a hot car for about a week. We all stood around making jokes for a while before a sheriff's deputy joined the fun. I poked the goo with a stick, which didn't do much more than release more bad smells. The caller had a rake, which only spread the goo around further. The FTO got this dumb smile on his face and said "You know...this seems more like a fire department issue." He got on his radio:
"[Dispatch], can you start Fire to our location? For the goo?"
"316, [Dispatch], 10-4"
A few seconds later we hear a fire page (series of tones unique to each department in the county) go out over the radio and start laughing. In about 3 minutes, two firefighters show up in basically a big Ford-F350 with some rescue gear on it. They get out, demand to know why we called them, and then also start poking at the goo. They start to smile.
"You know," one of them says, "we don't have any water on this truck..." The other firefighter starts laughing, and the first picks up his radio. "Start an engine to [address]." They back their truck out of the alley. Finally the engine shows up with four firefighters on board and the lights flashing. The driver actually pulls this giant truck into the narrow alley, and drives up to where we were gathered around the goo. They get out and walk up to us.
"Why are we here?"
Officer points to goo; first two firefighters laugh
"What is it?"
"Goddamn, it smells bad."
"Yes. Yes it does."
The firefighters sit for a moment in silence. "We could...hose it down maybe?" We tell them that they 100% should hose down this goo. The homeowner/caller agrees. The firefighters unload a hose and attach it to the front of the engine. They tell us to stand back, then blast the everloving f* out of this rancid mystery goo. They send goo and gravel alike flying into this poor man's yard, coating his garage with it. Now everyone but the firefighter manning the hose is laughing, even the homeowner. As the firefighters packed up their hose, we decided there was no more protecting and/or serving to do, so we headed back for our cars. As we were leaving, one of the officers turned to the homeowner and said "Remember, this is the fire department's fault" and everyone laughed again.
This all took maybe 25 minutes at most. Such are the joys of small-town policing.
All Of Them[rebelmouse-image 18358675 is_animated_gif=
Honestly 95% of calls. There are just too many to pick an example.
The biggest reason is that people think our job is general problem solving.
Having an argument with your roommate? Just call the police. They'll take your side so you can win the argument (everyone knows that we automatically have to be on the side of the 911 caller).
See a guy walking down the street? Well, since you've never seen him before, call the police just to check it out and make sure he's not a murderer.
But Really, All Of Them[rebelmouse-image 18358725 is_animated_gif=
Most of the situations I respond to are a huge waste of time. Here are some examples.
- The sand in the outdoor volleyball court was too hot
- Someone was chased by a baby squirrel
- A tourist saw some form of wildlife in a mountain town
- I've been to probably close to 100 reports of a stolen car where someone just forgot where they parked.
- A suspicious person "who was not known to the area" was the callers next door neighbor.
Source; Been a cop for 10 years in two states.
A Domestic[rebelmouse-image 18348549 is_animated_gif=
Oh boy. I'm not a cop anymore due to medical reasons but it's hard answering this question with only one story.
I'll try make this short. We went out to this house on a domestic because a woman and her husband were getting into it and arguing. They said they weren't physically fighting but when I got there I thought differently because of the amount of sh-t thrown all over the place. The male half had some bleeding above his eye. So I'm talking to them and of course they're giving me conflicting stories like they always f-ckin' do, and the woman says something along the lines of, "I just had it I f-cking snapped and threw the damn fan at his face!" Now this is one of those big fans with maybe like a four feet pole as a stand, used usually for an entire room (can't think of what they're called right now). She said that when they were arguing she went into the living room to get away from her husband, sit down, and cool off. But the dude comes over with the fan, positions it next to her face, turns it on, and proceeds to fart into the fan. So she flipped. I look at the dude and he's just kind of standing there, giving me that face of guilt like he's acknowledging the fact that I'm judging him but he's too embarrassed to vocally admit he did in fact fart into the fan to piss off his wife.
Firstly, they were both in the late 30's, and this is was the reason why I'm at their place. Secondly, she just admitted to assaulting her husband so unfortunately she's gotta go to jail. I wouldn't say that the call itself was a waste of time, it was a genuine domestic with an offense we could charge. But the circumstances that led up to it were f-cking stupid.
So next time it takes them forever to get to your house for your theft report or whatever, remember that people like them exist and keep us busy.
Trapped[rebelmouse-image 18358726 is_animated_gif=
Still a cop. Generally the wealthier district is where the dumbest calls come from. I was once dispatched to a call in said district where a woman was locked INSIDE of her car. The driver door wouldn't open, however literally every other door would. She wasn't particularly out of shape, she just didn't put it together that she could crawl out the passenger side. At first I thought she was intoxicated but after talking to her a bit I realized she just wasn't very bright.
The Stove[rebelmouse-image 18358728 is_animated_gif=
I was the dumb caller. I was home alone in my dad's house when I smelled gas from my room. I went to the stove to find out it had been on, and I turned it off. Everything still smelled like gas so I hid outside and googled 'house smells like gas' which of course turned up results like 'there's a gas leak call the cops now'
I called the cops, and I actually forgot my address and they had to find me. When they did show up, they couldn't find any gas because I'd opened all the windows. I was feeling pretty embarrassed for wasting their time at this point, but then it got worse.
I was a minor, and after calling I found out they couldn't legally let me go without an adult to take custody of me; that, or they could discharge me to a hospital. I tried calling my dad, but he wouldn't pick up the phone. My sibling who lives with me wouldn't either. The only person who answered was my sibling who lived thirty minutes away.
So an ambulance and a cop car had to wait with me for thirty minutes because I freaked out over a stove. The morning after, my dad texted my sister asking where I was.
False Alarm[rebelmouse-image 18358729 is_animated_gif=
Not a cop or a fireman but one day I put to much oil in my lawnmower it ran but it was burning all the oil off and made a gigantic thick cloud of smoke that engulfed my house along with the neighbors I got done cutting put the mower away and started to walk out of my back yard where I met a very curious fire fighter trying to look in to one of my side windows, I asked him what's up? He asked back fire and I said lawn mower he was like "oh, ok " turns around and leaves I follow him out to the front of the house to find the house crawling with firefighters and cops as well as like four very large fire trucks all ready to spray a house fire. The curious fire fighter just yells it was a lawnmower and they were all gone in three minutes. Best day ever.
Air Fair[rebelmouse-image 18358731 is_animated_gif=
Not a cop, but had a woman call the police on me for not turning the air conditioner down at the restaurant I was working at. (It was locked, I didn't have the key. Keyholder was owner who was out of town). Called and said I was trying to assault her. No f-cking lie. Cops showed up. Heard 30 seconds of her story, looked at me and told me to tell her to leave and never come back and they would happily come back to enforce her ban if she ever tried to come back in. Btw, it was July in Arkansas. 101 degrees with 90% humidity. No air conditioner my big sweaty -ss!
In The Toilet[rebelmouse-image 18358732 is_animated_gif=
Not police, but I used to live in an extremely small town. Someone called to report a skunk in their yard. Three fire trucks and an ambulance were dispatched. I'm serious.
Also, my next door neighbor sold pot before it was legal in our state. He got into a huge screaming match with his girlfriend. I poked my head out to see what was going on and he was screaming for help and that he was bleeding. Naturally, I called 911, so he didn't bleed to death. The police arrived. He was not bleeding. Later, he admitted he was "being a little b*" because his girlfriend locked him out.
And finally, my Grandma's toilet broke and was making noise. She called 911 so they could check the house for intruders.
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy
"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
TipsSeason 23 Reaction GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.