Most people have become conditioned to invoke cliches when consoling or encouraging others.
While their intentions are good, sometimes the words of wisdom friends throw around are so hackneyed, that the person feeling dejected over their circumstances is better off without them.
Do they truly mean what they say as it applies to the situation, or do they just want them to "get over it?"
It depends on the situation, of course, but many of us are keen to identify the fake niceties.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Noiv3rn asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"
When it comes to bullies, some people think confronting the issue head on is always best.
Ignorance Is A Miss
"If you just ignore, they will go away."
– whaldener
Lesson For Bullies
"School is prison rules. Hurt your bully. Make them scared of you."
"You land one really solid punch, and take the punishment the school gives you. Whatever suspension or whatever you have to deal with is worth getting your bullies to lay off."
– coleosis1414
Not About Winning
"My dad told me to fight back with everything I have, while paying for karate lessons for me. When I told him I didn’t think I could win the fight because my bully was so much bigger, he said 'You don’t have to win. You just have to be more trouble than you’re worth.'"
– Incongruent
Love makes people do crazy things, said a famous person recently. Crazy things shouldn't involve pain, however.
Tainted Love
“'He’s only picking on you because he likes you.' It’s not advice, just promoting an unhealthy relationship dynamic. Pisses me off."
– Merely-Zero
Shove With Love
"Yeah I got pushed off the monkey bars and cracked my head open in second grade by some little boy who kept bothering me."
"When I returned to school the next day with a stitched up head, the teacher told me 'He just does that because he secretly likes you. That’s how boys show it.' I believed her. :("
– Munich11
Unqualified Therapist
"literally my therapist when I was in middle school said that this guy was bullying me because he liked me. No, the kid was just an absolute a**hole."
"So glad that therapist is no longer in business, she messed me up as well as my mom, pinning my ADHD on her as if i didn't have it, it was all her fault for raising me badly."
– Blundering_Dragon
Not all rules or advice apply.
"Sleep On It"
"Never go to bed angry at your spouse."
"F'k that! Sleep on it. Cool down a bit. Reassess the situation and then address it when you're calm. I am not staying up till 3 in the morning because you're mad that I didn't pull the clothes out of the dryer before they got wrinkled!"
– Obiwan_ca_blowme
Flaws Of Authenticity
"Be yourself, and don't compromise for anyone."
"No. Sometimes you suck and need to improve."
– flash17k
Easy For Them To Say
"Any advice given by people who clearly lack personal experience to be grounded in reality."
"Rich people saying 'money doesn’t buy happiness'. Pretty people saying 'looks don’t matter'. People who’ve been handed everything saying 'you need to work hard for things'. Politicians saying 'cheaters never prosper.'"
– sketchysketchist
It's Written In The Stars
"Everything happens for a reason"
"Doesn't mean it's a good reason..."
– Abigale_Munroe
Live To Work
"Any advice that encourages people to spend every waking minute grinding, and to sacrifice sleep/rest to increase those minutes. I don't get up at 5am, I don't work until 11pm, I don't log on when I'm not working that day. I work my 40 hours a week and any time outside of that is my own time, otherwise what the f**k am I working for at all?"
– BaseballFuryThurman
Level Playing Field
"We all get the same 24 hours".
– Throwaway_Tenderloin
"Yeah this is bullsh*t. Jeff Bezos doesn't have the same 24 hours I have, and I daresay he never did."
– Salarian_American
Dated Perspective
"College is the only way to open successful doors in life. A fun thing most old people say (half the time never went or finished college themselves) while thinking you can still buy penny candy today."
– _BluLeaf
Losing Faith
"God will never give you more than you can handle. Not religious but I hate this sentiment."
– Wannagetsober
We Don't Buy It
"Money doesn't buy happiness"
"First get money that tell me that."
– Micerog
Survivor Misconception
"What don't kill you makes you stronger."
– Internal_Crow_6278
Any time I hear someone tell me "if it's meant to be it will be," oftentimes it ends up meaning that it will never be.
Did I lose out on the audition because it just wasn't meant to be? No, there were other hopefuls in the room better suited for the role than myself, but I've landed jobs where I put in the work and was better prepared than most.
For me, relying on fate is just lazy. Luck helps, sure.
But, in my experience, I believe that applying yourself and making more of an effort gets you noticed most endeavors.
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Redditor Deviant55 wanted to talk about physical intimacy in relationships, so they asked:
"How important is sex to you in a relationship? Could you be with someone you love even if sex was off the table indefinitely?"
I learned how much sex matters in my last relationship.
Once I wasn't interested, it kind of killed everything.
Forever
GIF by moodmanGiphy"When my wife of 30+ years became too ill for sex to be even remotely interesting for her, I certainly did not end the relationship. I loved her and I took care of her until she died. No other course even occurred to me."
fvillion
Frustration
"When I met my wife we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. This lasted a few years. I was in my mid-twenties when we married. She developed a chronic medical issue. I’ve gone twenty years being sexually frustrated. There are stages and phases to this."
"What I came to realize is that I love my wife. Yes, sex is important in our relationship. But I would rather have her in my life with no sex than have sex without her."
"The thing is, I love her. She can’t help her situation. I can’t help it. One deals with it. Marriage is more than sex. It is building a life and memories, raising a family, and loving each other regardless of the challenges life throws our way. But sex is very important. It helps keep the closeness and the emotional bond. But it isn’t the only thing that does that."
QuietusNoctis
I Love Her
"It is complicated. I am in a near-sexless marriage. The wife needs antidepressants to function. And it kills her libido. So usually it is four to six times a year. My libido rages. And yeah, it sucks. I dream of more sex."
"But I love the chick. She loves me to the moon and back. I’m not willing to sacrifice her love so I can try dating again. Divorce rates these days? And I found a woman who more than tolerates me, she loves me. I’ll stay. And not to be crude but yeah I masturbate. A lot. She doesn’t begrudge me that. Occasionally she even encourages it."
"She went off her meds for a while. And man did we do it. But she was a mess. I need her healthy more than I need a shag. We travel together. We enjoy each other’s company. We actually like each other. I could claim that it is hell, but I choose to see all of the good I am blessed with."
painthawg_goose
Heartless
"Quite important. But I think it depends on where you are in the relationship. I've been married for 10 years. I have kids. If my wife suddenly couldn't have sex with me for some reason -- illness or injury or something -- I'm not divorcing her over it. That's heartless."
"Now, if she just decided we weren't ever having sex again because she didn't feel like it, that'd be different. Or if I was just starting to date someone and they told me they'd never have sex, I probably just wouldn't keep pursuing the relationship. Plenty of people out there who will."
Arkhangelzk
Necessity
"It depends on the circumstances. I LOVE doing it with my man but I love his heart and soul more. If we had to stop having sex for medical reasons or something I’d definitely stay with him and stay faithful. If I was single, I think it’s unlikely I’d start a new relationship knowing it would be sex free."
Fit_Technology8240
Heart and soul is just as necessary and hot and sweaty.
At least a lot of people recognize that.
Percentages
Giphy"Sex life is 10% of a relationship when it’s good and 90% of a relationship when it’s bad."
jakovichontwitch
"The other way I've heard it put is that sex is like the bathroom in your house. It's not the only reason you bought the house, but if it's not working it's a big problem."
molten_dragon
Age Related
"50-year-old here married for 27 years. It’s not important. It was important when we were younger but honestly, if sex wasn’t possible I would still love my wife and really nothing about our day would really change."
Kantforall
"I’ve been reading these comments and wishing that everyone’s age was flared on their post because I sense that there are a lot of under-60-year-olds. I am older than my wife but she is starting menopause and I can see the writing on the wall. Not super thrilled but I love her completely and understand. The real intimacy is in how we still (and will always) want to sleep touching each other and waking up next to each other."
caffeinated-hijinx
Kiss Me
"I honestly considered this before. I absolutely adored this guy. It was like a child relationship; we'd kiss and cuddle and hold hands and things, but he wouldn't have sex with me, nor would he commit properly. Any time we came close to sex, he'd go soft or back off."
"I couldn't understand it, wondered if I could keep doing that. My sex drive was wild. Why kiss and the rest but not sex?"
"Then one day he told me he was in love with me and asked me out properly. I said yes there and then, had a wonderful day with him, but when I went home, I was left questioning if I could possibly live without sex. I decided that yeah, I loved him but it would be tough."
"We had sex the next day. So yes, I think I probably could."
Adventurous_Train_48
Touchy/affectionate...
"It's very important. I'm a very affectionate and physical person and touch/caresses and anything physical is one of my love languages. I couldn't function with someone who is the opposite of me or who's uncomfortable with how I am. I already was in a relationship with someone who wasn't that touchy/affectionate and it created frustration for both of us."
Borboleta77
Don't Look at Me
"I am in a sexless relationship. He has erectile dysfunction and I really don't like sex in general. I'm really uncomfortable naked or even vulnerable. I'm shy around him despite the relationship being 10 years nearly, I'm even shy around my family and friends. Everything about sex makes me feel so embarrassed, and I feel nothing but negative feelings when I used to be sexually active. Not through choice of partner, I just hate that sort of attention."
NucularOrchid
Definitive!
Shake Handshake GIF by OriginalsGiphy"10/10. Sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker!"
oeeiae
Sex is important but not everything.
Until it is everything if it becomes an issue.
Good luck couples. Open and honest communication is key.
