Why is it so difficult to think before you speak? Words matter and the way you deliver them matters even more. We're in a new era today, you can't just blurt out the first odd thing in your head. You never really could but now we know better; or at least we're supposed to. Look up the definition of a compliment and go from there.
Redditor u/sybaritic_footstool wanted to know what are some of the strangest things people thought was a thoughtful thing to say by asking....
What's the creepiest compliment you've ever been given?
Extra Doable....
Giphy
This old man lived on my street, I would always say hi to him in the morning on my way out to work. Didn't know him outside that greeting. He must have been in his 70's.
Looks at me and goes 'You look extra doable this morning.'
I double timed it and stopped talk to him. Forgotmyshoesagain
Reaching 8....
Every day I ride the elevator to the top floor of my office building. One day a couple of years ago an attractive 30ish year old woman got on the elevator at 2 and pressed 8.
When she got on the elevator, she stared at my forehead the entire time. The elevator reached 8 and she literally backed out of the elevator and held the door.
Still staring at me, she blurted out:
"I know I'm not supposed to say anything, but that is the most beautiful toupee I've ever seen."
Then the doors closed without either of us saying another word and I've never seen her since.
Thanks I grew it myself. -Blixx-
At Disney once....
At Disney once, me and my cousin (I was 16 he was 15) were sitting on a bench waiting for the others to come back from the bathrooms, and a lady (prob mid-30s) Stopped and stared at us for like, 10 seconds, then she said "You guys are so cute! Invite me to your wedding!" Then gave us a business card with her name and stuff on it. He just silently put it in his pocket and then we both just started laughing, we told our 3 other cousins, but not the adults. KrunchyCandy
Yikes....
One time I dressed up as a zombie to perform the Thriller dance at my workplace.
Colleague came up to me, got real close to my ear, and whispered:
"You look great as a zombie. I'm a necrophiliac, by the way."
Yikes....
(Edited to add some context: This colleague was in a different department from me so we only knew each other in passing. He was also about double my age — I was 24/25 at the time and he was closer to late 40s/early 50s). Reddit
Bad Vibes....
Giphy
A guy once remarked that I looked too young to be legally allowed to work. I told him I was 16 and he said he would have guessed 12 or 13 (I get this all the time and it pisses me off, but when in customer service smile through the pain). He then looked me up and down (taking an extra second to look at my butt) and said "You could do better than working here." And winked at me.
Not too creepy, but the vibes were incredibly off. whoeverthehell
"liked it that way."
First job at Starbucks at 16. Some older man probably 60's who worked at another store in the strip mall came in and told me I was so pretty and looked very "young and innocent" and that he "liked it that way."
He also followed me out to the parking garage one night when I was alone but didn't realize my boyfriend had come to make sure I made it safely to my car. He quickly left when he saw my boyfriend waiting at my car. Prison-mike23
In Your Eyes...
"I love your eyes! I can stare into them all day!" Proceeds to stare into my eyes for 2 minutes straight.
I'm a guy and not extremely lucky in the lady department. I'm not particularly choosy. But that one gave me the hebee jeebies. I didn't think women was capable of that level of creepy. But I learned that day! Jauxerous
Hands Free....
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"you're like a pale Buddha."
Proceeds to touch my belly without notice. RollerKirbyDerby
Over the Table....
When I was 18, a old man bent down to look under the table we were both at and told me I had nice legs. I was wearing a shortish skirt. I guess it's not overly creepy but I felt so uncomfortable though. LittleMissCosmic1992
The Few....
Ugh. I have a few.
"You're very attractive... for a redhead. They're almost always ugly." ( man old enough to be my father)
"Are those your legs or are you wearing white hose?"
At a family funeral : "That dress is really wearing you - you look stunning. I always enjoy SEEING you" said by my husband's uncle as he hugged me WAY too tight and close and whispered in my ear. I kneed him and shouted my husband's name. He denied the whole thing. (He is a Baptist preacher and is on wife #5)
"If you ever need extra money, you can definitely sell your "wares" *wink - said by a complete stranger in line at Winn Dixie and he tried to hand me a card that said "Joe's Body Shop" uh, NO. Also, I had my 3 kids with me. oshaughnessygirl
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
There are a ton of jobs or favors that don't require much skill, experience, or labor, and people who are fortunate enough to get hired walk away with a king's ransom.
Looking for those kinds of "jobs," however, is like finding a teardrop in the ocean.
Few who struck gold, at least temporarily, shared their experiences when Redditor NikTheNerdBoy asked:
"What's the dumbest thing you were paid to do and how much were you paid?"
Good luck finding these well-paying tasks.
Running Errands
"Had a WFH gig working sort of as a personal assistant for a rich guy on the opposite coast from me. I did all kinds of wacky sh*t for him. For example, one time I had to break up with my boss's girlfriend because he was too wimpy to do it himself. That was literally my job."
"One day, I bought him a new pickup truck. Meaning, I negotiated the deal and paid for the truck with his credit card. All in all, I'd say the process probably took about two weeks, for which I was paid my usual wage at six hours per day. No big deal."
"Somehow, his dad found out about the new truck and he decided he wanted a new pickup truck too. He called me about a week after I bought the truck for my boss and said he'd pay me $2,000 to buy a truck for him. I called the same dealership back, spoke to the same salesman, told him what was up and basically said give me another truck, same price as before. The salesman was only too happy to comply."
"It took ten minutes to make the phone call and then a day or two to get the title and other paperwork sorted out. So, depending on how you look at it, I made $2,000 for just ten minutes worth of 'work.'"
"Somehow, my boss's rich friend found out about all this. He decided he wanted a new SUV. 'OhYeahThrowItAway, you have to buy it for me!' I told him the last time I bought someone a vehicle, I got paid $2,000. The friend was basically like F'k it, I'll pay you $3,000, just get it for me' and then he emailed me his wish list."
"That deal took a little longer, maybe two weeks."
"I made $5k extra in just two months buying vehicles for lazy (or dumb) rich people."
Staying Out Of The Picture
"I was paid $300 to move my car for a movie that was filming by my apartment."
Pack It Up
"Got paid 10k to leave an apartment because it was sold and new owner wanted to move in. I was tenant (renter) under previous owner. I had 4 months left in my rental contract. This was in Spain (Barcelona)."
European Vacation
"I was flown to Paris to do a compliance audit, the systems weren't set up for the audit, couldn't get access so spent the week being taken to restaurants and shopping. On 1 of the days and at the last minute the company decided to send me to London for a meeting, literally just to meet people. I missed the Eurostar because I forgot my passport (totally blanked that I was entering another country), they had to rebook the Eurostar. Nothing was achieved out of this trip. No audit was completed. Nothing came of the meeting. The cost to the company 25k+ for me to do nothing for a week. Corporate money is ridiculous money."
Not much labor was required for these so-called "jobs."
Ten-Minutes Of "Work"
"I used to work for a PR agency. Every month one of our clients wanted a handful of photos re-sized for their website; nothing fancy, just setting the width to 500px in Windows Photo Manager."
"It was maybe ten minutes of work every month, but the contract said the minimum amount of time we would charge them for was one day - and this was for the full team too, not just me. It must have cost them several hundred pounds every month."
"I showed the client how to do it several times, and explained that they could save a lot of money doing it themselves. They didn't seem to mind."
"In the end I made sure I got it in writing that I'd informed them of their options and let them get on with it."
Thank You, Goodbye
"$175 to do some kind of user study at Netflix, I show up in the lobby and then they go, 'actually we got the data we needed from the studies earlier today, you're free to go!'. Still got paid!"
– Lycid
Hush Money
"I did an event for a national association for deaf people at which they did every presentation in ASL. I am an audio engineer, who specializes in live sound and concerts. I did nothing for 5 days of show, $450 a day."
– murter95
Paid To Play
"I got asked to do 2 hours of barrier watch (Guarding a barrier ribbon while a crew did x rays inside a power plant). This was asked last minute after a 12 hour shift so the bonuses of staying happening to be a Sunday, etc I was being paid $110 to stand and play on my phone and make sure sure nobody tried to pass all the DO NOT ENTER DANGER DANGER signs during a time of day with minimal personnel."
– Hotel29
Movie Scene Dance GIF by FandorGiphyGotta Have Wendy's
"I was driving for uber. Picked up a bunch of drunks at like 2 AM. They were like 'Yo we gotta grab some Wendy' I go 'I'm sorry this is my busy period' they go 'Can we bribe you?' I go 'Absolutely you can bribe me.'"
"One the guys said I'll give you $100...I was shocked it was that high, another guy said '$150' and finally his wife said 'F'k it I want Wendy $200 and we buy you Wendy too.'"
"I finally said yes, FYI I hadn't said yes yet because the reality is $20-$40 would have gotten me to stop at Wendy."
"So there I sat at Wendy as those 3 drunks bought me wendy and paid me $200."
Substitute Chef
"One time I was at this super fancy dinner party. I'm talking servers and everything, I was in a freaking tux! It was outside and catered by a professional bbq company. I mean these guys had won international competitions. Well get this, they were double booked and didn't show. The other servers didn't know how to grill, and this totally smokin server in her 30s is just staring at the grill like a deer in the headlights. Well I don't want to be a hero but I ask if I can help. The entire staff spend the rest of the night bringing me drinks as I make this bbq and NOBODY realizes the award winning chefs didn't show up!"
Where Do We Apply?
"Ok this wasn't a job or anything.... But I got 10$ to eat half a watermelon."
Some opportunities present themselves.
When I was a kid, I hung out at a Japanese summer festival booth where you roll a bowling ball on a track that had two hills. The objective was to push the ball hard enough to get it over the first hill but not too hard to get it over the second hill.
I was fascinated with the challenge and stayed there for a long time as my parents were over by the food booths with their friends.
It was a slow day, and the dude working the booth wanted to peace out for a bit, so he offered to pay me $50 to "hang out" in his stead.
Of course, I said "sure."
No one ever came, and I earned fifty bucks rolling bowling balls for an hour. Was it the dumbest thing I ever did for money? Maybe, but I laughed all the way to the piggy bank that day.
That guy really must have despised his post enough to give a twelve-year-old kid $50.
Food is for survival. That was the plan. But over the years it has become somewhat of a way of life. Some of the most annoying people are foodies. They get so uppity about the preferences of others. Like, let me just enjoy what I enjoy.
Mom No!
Mom Smile GIFGiphy"I don't like my mom's cooking."
"Livestock have refused to eat my mother's cooking. She's a terror in the kitchen."
Take them OUT!!
"I hate walnuts in baked goods. It tastes like wood shavings and completely ruins the flavor."
"I love walnuts but I feel this way about raisins in baked goods, raisins are fine by themselves but not in sweets, I once ordered cinnamon rolls at Hardee's and bit into it and found out there were raisins in it, and I was grossed out and didn't want to eat it. At least freakin' McDonald's serves real cinnamon rolls without freakn' raisins!"
The Fart Ingredient
"I don't like kidney beans except in chili."
"I don't even really like them in chili. I'd rather have pintos in everything."
Oh thew Crunch...
"Pickles and onion make the best sandwich. I make most of my own pickles from stuff I grow or get from local farms in the fall, but I responded to another comment with two different heinous concoctions I enjoy. Crunchy, salty, sour. I really like pickles and onions to begin with."
"I use more than pickled cucumber though. Like the last one I made, I used garlic naan, mayo, red onion, scallions, pickled garlic, green olives, Kalamata olives, garlic dill cucumber, and green beans. Shallot, sour pickled onion, sweet pickled cucumbers, and sushi ginger on sprouted 14 grain bread is also also a favorite of mine."
No Sizzle
bacon GIFGiphy"I do not like bacon."
"I've been learning this over the years. If I'm gonna do bacon I much prefer the maple bacon since it's sweeter and doesn't overpower with saltiness."
- truije15
Who doesn't like bacon? That seems like a sacrilege. Right? But to each their own. Though I will never understand not loving walnuts in comfort food. Y'all need more self love.
Love the Big M
"Fast food tastes amazing, yeah its unhealthy as hell but don't you sit there and lie and say it tastes bad."
"Pisses me off when people act like they're better then McDonald's. What the hell? McDonald's is incredible and billions of people buy their food still. The same can't be said for other restaurants."
Blasphemy!
golden girls flirting GIF by HULUGiphy"Cheesecake is disgusting."
"I don't find cheese cake disgusting. It looks good. Smell delicious. Has ingredients in it that I love. But i can not eat more than one bite. It is too rich. One bite and i feel sick."
Too Many Legs
"Lobsters and crabs are giant insects."
"I don't really think that's that controversial, in my area of the world we even call this creature a 'Moreton Bay Bug' even though some fisheries try to give it the more appealing name of 'flathead lobster'."
bad bones
"Boneless wings are vastly superior to bone-in wings. I think bone-in wings are a ripoff because when you get half a pound of them, part of that half-pound is inedible. It's like if you ordered a quarter-pound cheeseburger, but the restaurant considers the weight of the plate to be part of that quarter-pound and you end up with just a slider. Just give me some damn meat."
The Slime
man oyster GIFGiphy"Oysters are truly disgusting and absurdly overpriced for quarter sized pieces of snot that tastes like salt water and hot sauce."
- C_23_s
Ok, I'm trying to stay calm. I don't want to judge. But some of these opinions... are leaving me shook. Except the oysters. That is that work of the devil. Look away...
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