SavanasDesign/Pixabay

Relationships take a lot of work, and a lot of people end up failing pretty hard before they learn to get it right.

Sometimes it's something one party in the relationship does, but sometimes it's just that they realize they're not a good fit for each other.


Relationships end for a lot of reasons, so Reddit user u/zLulatsch asked:

"What ruined your first real relationship?"

20.

She wanted to make sure it was not gonna be a one night deal before we did anything and I told her I loved her so much I wouldn't do that. She was the one to call it quits after that one night happened.

-Iwantav

19.

It was long distance, he didn't feel like trying and I tried too hard, we both were in a terrible mental state. I broke it off after having to repeatedly remind him that I existed.

....Then we tried to stay friends and that was a TERRIBLE idea. We ended up simultaneously ghosting each other.

-KieAndStuff

18.

Being too comfortable and allowing the relationship to go stale; also being too young for the level of intensity a relationship needs to progress

-NorthernRothesay

17.

I discovered she already had a boyfriend, and I was the "side dude".

-LifeOfThePotty

16.

He quit his job after telling all his co-workers that the boss had depression and anxiety. He quit before she got a chance to fire him. I became the breadwinner and started to see how financially irresponsible he was. He had cut up a debt card and then the next day tapped it together. The other part got stuck in ATM.

-animelife71

15.

My parents wouldn't let me actually hang out with him. Got grounded every time they saw us together and whatnot. It was really frustrating.

-bobbyjellybean

14.

I thought I was hilarious. For her birthday I got her a card shaped like a cheeseburger that I wrote "Happy birthday fatass" in. I'm cringing just thinking about it (BTW she was nowhere near fat). I got her other birthday presents but I was going to give them to her that evening, because again: I thought I was hilarious.

Never got to give her the real presents, because her dad came to my work and threatened to beat me up, then she broke up with me.

-Lurkist

13.

I'm still in it, so hopefully it gets ruined by one of us dying of old age.

-Renmazuo

12.

Happened a week ago. We're together for a year and a half, engaged and she told me last week she wasn't in love with me anymore and left.

-bryceisaskategod

11.

She cheated and I caught her pretty much in the act of it. I decided to surprise her one day and showed up to find her half naked in her apartment with TWO other men, also both in their skivvies.

-ChristopherRabbit

10.

I was an ahole.

-saveemisalive

Me too. It was years ago, and I feel like I've bettered myself since then. But I still regret hurting someone that I truly loved. They tolerated a lot of shit to try to stay with me. I can only hope I'm a better person than I used to be, and that they're having a good life nowadays.

-2fastSOAP

9.

It sounds like a cliche, but I only liked the idea of having a girlfriend. In practice, it turns out I don't like it.

-untakenu

Sounds like you need a boyfriend.

-Rohxypoo

Tried that too. Don't like it.

-untakenu

8.

I changed. She was an incredible person and treated me better than anyone ever has. She loved me unconditionally, did so much for me and was selfless. That was how I was at the beginning of our relationship. Eventually, other things in my life were getting to me and making me a cranky ahole and I would take it out on her. Just things like the way I spoke to her, snapping at her, just being a piece of sh!t towards her.

Even when she would tell me and I would see her crying, it's like it wouldn't get through to me. I would do and say things that it wouldn't even dawn on me how mean they were until after the fact. When our daughter was born (and through the pregnancy), it was her making the sacrifices and going without sleep in the middle of the night. I was a lousy boyfriend and lousy father. She never deserved a single bit of any of that.

It wasn't until she broke up with me that it became painfully obvious (like hitting a brick wall obvious) the kind of horrible person I had become with how I treated her. I loved her, but I obviously didn't show that a good amount of the time. I had changed for the worst and I don't blame her one bit for leaving me. It's been nearly 9 years and a day hasn't passed that I am not thinking of this all through out the day.

I think I deserve that for what I put her through. Fair enough. I can't change how I was, no matter how much I wish I could erase those memories from her mind. But that realization and learning from mistakes, I have an amazing relationship with my daughter and have for years. I'd do anything to change the past, but of course, that's not possible and that's life.

-RyanPelley

7.

Him not respecting basic boundaries like leaving me alone when I needed space, telling his friends what we did in the bedroom, pushing me to do things so I didn’t want too, even involving his friends at one point.

-Shortkitsu

6.

She wanted to bone other guys. We were young and she was honest. I was devastated at the time but realized pretty quick I wanted to bone other girls too. All works out in the end.

-IEATHOTDOGSRAW

5.

We were a couple for roughly 6-7 years and during our last year I moved in with him to his apartment.

A few months before that, he rented a room to his childhood best friend and when I moved in I discovered he had the biggest crush on him.

His friend was straight and my ex never had a chance with him but still he was so tryhard... He would do anything for him, eventually I started getting bitter about this and started hating them both.

In the end I was an ahole to his friend all the time, I was distant with my bf and he ended up cheating on me with a guy from his college.

-SteveKareha

4.

Eh immaturity. We were young, socially awkward, neither of us knew how to ask for what we wanted or what fair expectations were. Kind of wish we had just fooled around or dated lightly and went our separate ways but, again, young.

-scarefish

3.

It was my fault. I was mentally abusive without meaning to. I cut the relationship off for our own good and took a long break from dating anybody to change. I'm now in a happy 7 month relationship.

-broavs

2.

I felt she was needy but instead of communicating this to her, I dumped her out of nowhere. In hindsight, I was just doing things for her without asking, because I assumed she was helpless without me (she wasn't), and it burned me out. Not really fair to either party, but I least I learned from my mistakes.

-twelvis

1.

We were both too young and both dealing with undiagnosed mental issues. We enabled bad behavior and shut down good behavior. Shared misery in all its "glory" and a very bad idea.

We've both become better people since breaking up. And no, I'd never want to date him again.

-DaughterEarth

Our memories are strange things. They can totally play tricks on us and make us believe we experienced something we never did, even if there is mounting evidence against what we recall.

Sometimes several memories become one memory, or else details become lost or embellished; sometimes we are told a story so many times that a false memory of the event starts to form.

But sometimes, something strange really did happen and our memories are actually serving us perfectly.

Keep reading... Show less
RobinHiggins/Pixabay

Scandals and gossip are the bread and butter of small towns, where nothing much really happens, and any small faux pas can turn into a misstep everyone in town will remember for the next decade.

Sometimes, though, truly remarkable things happen in small towns. Whether it's a spectacular crime such as a murder or a politician embezzling town funds, or simply some bizarre event that nobody could explain, it'll definitely end up in the local paper.

There's not much to do in small towns, after all.

Keep reading... Show less
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

"How does someone so sexy be so damn repulsive, babe?" is one of my favorite lyrics from one of my favorite criminally underrated TV shows, Star. It's from the song Ain't About What You Got (a song which was originally for Ariana Grande, so it's got some vocal leaps) - which basically is the soundtrack to this article.

Keep reading... Show less
Raúl Nájera/Unsplash

Sixth sense, hunch, spidey senses tingling, or gut feeling: no matter what you call it, we all have had that feeling at one point or another. Not everyone is as in tune with that feeling as some, but when we have that feeling it's important to listen to it. It could be life or death.

Science tells us that there's actual physical feelings associated with the gut feeling due to our gut-brain connection. Signals from our brain can actually cause intestinal signals to bubble up. It can come in a moments notice. Sometimes feeling a little like anxiety or even "hearing" a voice in your head telling you something might be off.

Healthline says:

"Research links these flashes of intuition to certain brain processes, such as evaluating and decoding emotional and other nonverbal cues."


We might need to listen to our gut specifically to protect ourselves. It's that intuitive knowledge that keeps humanity alive for centuries.

Antonia Hock, global head of The Ritz-Carlton Leadership Center said:

"Instinct is a powerful data point that can be a treasure trove of untapped generational knowledge in decision making."

Redditors shared their life-saving moments when they listened to their gut and trusted it.

Redditor TheGaySussyBaka asked:

"What's a gut feeling that saved yours or someone else's life?"

Intuition could save a life. Let's read some true stories about gut feelings that made all the difference.

It was worth being late to the party.

"Years ago, my wife and I were driving on the expressway that was under major construction. Traffic had slowed quite a bit and I saw a plume of smoke ahead. As we drew closer, I could see it was the beginning of a Carbeque, but the driver was still in the vehicle."

"I did a death defying move to cross multiple lanes of traffic to pull over, despite my wife's protests about being late to the event we were headed to."

"I approached the car, which was just starting to produce visible fire from the wheel wells and opened the door to the car. The guy was conscious, but in obvious shock and was unresponsive. I had to reach in to unbuckle him and pull him out of the car. Within seconds of me getting him out, the driver's compartment was completely engulfed in flames."

- TheSpatulaOfLove

"In that moment, that's what your wife was thinking about?"

- Nooseents

"I don't think she had malicious intent. She's just nuts about being everywhere 5 minutes early. She assumed the guy would get out of the car and all would be fine. I didn't get that feeling."

- TheSpatulaOfLove

"Tipsy" driving is still drunk driving.

"Do not get into a car with someone who says 'they are just a little tipsy.'"

"The guy who was trying to convince us that he 'was totally fine to drive' didn't die that night but he did have to spend a two years learning to walk again."

- fruit_cats

"My story isn't as bad as that but I'm pretty sure I saved a friend from getting arrested for drunk driving. She'd been hanging out at my fraternity and had at least a couple drinks. She said she was going to drive to the bar, but I told her I wasn't going to let her and would find someone to drive her. But everybody else had been drinking. I hadn't, but I also didn't have a driver's license at the time (not for nefarious reasons, I just didn't get one until I graduated college)."

"Refusing to let her drive, I told her I would. She got in next to me and even though I hadn't driven in awhile, I drove slowly to the bar. After I pulled in to the spot, I finally noticed that there had been a cop right behind us. Luckily he drove off. But the cops in our college town were notorious jerks and even if she had been below the legal limit, she probably would have been arrested. But she was fine and I drove her back to her apartment after we were done."

"Also later found out that the car I was driving wasn't even hers - it belonged to her sorority sister. So there's a good chance I prevented her a) from getting arrested, b) getting into a bad accident, c) damaging her sorority sister's car or d) all of the above."

- PAKMan1988

"You're really burying the good part."

"You prevented her from possible troubles by driving a stolen car without a license right in front of a cop."

- yourmomlurks

Listen to your parental gut feeling.

"My son has leukemia and is on chemotherapy. He was just...off. Looked paler than usual and something just felt odd. Turns out chemo had obliterated his blood so much it might as well have been water and he would have died within days. Two blood transfusions, five days hospital and two weeks off chemotherapy and he was on the mend."

"I went into traumatic shock and the one thing that pulled me out was a debrief with my doctor, who told me I had just saved my child's life with my maternal instinct and never doubt it. Fast forward a few months and he got an infection and that same odd feeling woke me up. He spent a week in hospital that time."

"Parental instinct is there for a reason. Don't doubt it. When you feel it, it's not like feeling a concern or worry that something might be wrong... it's a deep primal knowing."

- belltrina

"My wife had the same thing happen with our 3rd kid. 3 days old. Something was off for her. She had a feeling, called the pediatrician and tested his blood sugar with her kit since she was a gestational diabetic. It was in the basement. Like the oh f**k basement. Verge of coma basement. Doc had us call 9-11 and they would have life-flighted him to a bigger hospital had the weather not sucked a**. Spent 9 days in the NICU. Now he's a wild 5-year-old boy. She 100% saved his life."

- Fleadip

"When I worked in peds, this was the mantra among the nursing staff. If mom (or dad) thinks something is wrong, something is wrong! You know your kid better than anyone else in the world."

- vanillabeanlover

"This is so true! When I had appendicitis, my doctor tried to send me home saying it was the flu. If my mom hadn't insisted something was seriously wrong, I might be dead. It was hours from rupturing when they removed it."

- hotairballoons

A near miss.

"Scenario- driving myself and 2 coworkers back from lunch. Didn't immediately go when my light was green as I got this weird knot in my stomach like something was gonna go down. Car next to me went forward and got slammed into a brick building and post by a speeding car that went thru his red. Some debris rained on my car but basically was left unscathed. Shook but unscathed."

- tokoloshe_noms_toes

"My friends make fun of me for this, bc the 'light is green lol' but I've been involved in that type of accident, and am only alive because my dad, who was driving saw it in time to slam the gas and make them only hit the bed of the truck."

- marshal231

The man in the truck.

"This is before cell phones (think beepers). I went out one night and was meeting my bestie half way between my house and hers. I noticed this truck drive by me and he slowed down to a crawl. Another car was coming so he kept going. My spidey senses were triggered though. I saw my best friend and I grabbed her and pulled her into an old shed at an abandoned house. I shut the door quick and told her to be quiet. There was a space so we were able to see this truck coming."

"She is whispering rapidly to me asking what is happening. I told her that I had seen that guy a few minutes before and he made me nervous. He slowly crept down the street, pulled over and got out with a flashlight. That's when we saw the gun. The most terrifying thing, it was only moments, but felt like hours. He finally took off, but I was hesitant to leave yet. We stayed there for about 15-20 minutes and he came back 4 or 5 times."

"Finally we heard our names being called, her older brother and his best friend had come looking because it typically takes 10 minutes to get from my house to hers. I am convinced that she and I would both be dead if it wasn't for that shed and me trusting my spidey senses."

- Right-Mind2723

Caught it just in time.

"Was hanging out with my brother who was visiting from a few hours away. We went to one of his highschool friends house to shoot the sh*t."

"My brother's friend had a kid who was literally bouncing off the walls. After one bounce I heard a little scrape behind me. I looked behind me to see the 8 point deer head mounted to the wall just in time for another bounce."

"I snatched that head out of the air just about 3 inches from giving the kid 4 stab wounds to the skull."

- piratecheese13

"I was at a party my house was hosting back in the day. We had a back area that had a door leading to the backyard, the door swung inwards. Someone was bent over putting their shoe on and I heard someone coming up the stairs to come in. As soon as the handle started turning, I put my hand over the door to stop it coming in. The person putting on their shoe was so shocked because no one else noticed the door opening and their head was right near the handle. Maybe not exactly saving a life, but a solid concussion at least."

- Subject37

"Peacefully riding my motorcycle."

"'I don't think that guy is going to stop for that stop sign. I'll slow down just a little bit so he'd miss me if he didnt.'"

"Guy flys through intersection at 100km/h."

"'God wanted me to live this day, I see.'"

- shrapnullvxvsa

There are a few things you'll need to do to learn how to trust your gut. Part of it is recognizing when your gut is trying to send you signals. Body awareness, emotional awareness and cognitive processing is something that can happen intuitively, but we have to know how to recognize it.

Pay attention to when it is intrinsically emotional or when it might be clouded by bias. Know the difference so you can make choices that make the most sense for the situation.

And practice! Find ways to listen to your body and emotions and put the skills to the test.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.