When we think about cheating in relationships, it often feels like an open and shut case: the cheater was heartless, selfish, and nothing but a villain.
And while we still may come to that conclusion in the end, it can be worth hearing the finer details of the situation.
Perhaps those dynamics can help us to understand the warning signs of wandering eyes and possible infidelity when our own situation becomes less than ideal.
It's never the right move, but there are multiple reasons why it happens. A recent Reddit thread explored those, for better or worse.
Redditor Romantic_Sandals asked:
"People who cheated on their SO, why did you do it?"
Many people confessed to have been cheaters for reasons that were entirely selfish. They used the thread as a space to express their guilt and their desire to change.
Young and Dumb
"In high school I did. At the time, I was 17 and I was just starting to have a lot of girls notice me so it went to my head, and I ended up getting a side chick. After three months of having the side chick and my girlfriend at the time, the guilt was too much and I ended up tell my girlfriend the truth and then left."
"The side chick became my next girlfriend, and we spent about another year together before I left her too for legitimate relationship reason. The fallout and heart ache from all those decisions from that ordeal has made me swear to myself and god that I'd never do that again."
Keep Going
"Because I was a narcissist insecure a**hole. I'm in treatment now. It's a bit late for me but better late than never. Almost 50."
-- netgirljimi
Communicate!
"Cuz I was a fu**in idiot and I chose to listen to someone that I thought I could trust instead of asking my girl if she was cheating on me.😞"
Rationalizing
"I was 18, undiagnosed bipolar, and hypomanic. I didn't take the relationship very seriously at all, and decided 'hey, if I break up with her right after I do it then I won't be such a bad person.' "
"Turns out I was still a shitty person. I never cheated again, never will. I'm madly in love with my partner and literally nothing could distract me from that."
-- grae23
A Smattering of Factors
"Drugs, miscommunication, lust, and then after, post nut clarity is a bi***. The guilt will eat you alive. You don't know why you do it really, other than animal instinct. But then you hate yourself after it"
Caught Up In It
"I was a serial cheater from my teens to my early 20s. To me it was all for the thrill and ego boost. It was fun and exciting doing something I knew I wasnt supposed to especially with a new sexual partner."
"It bloated my ego to astronomical proportions. I remember feeling like some type of rockstar because I had 'h*e's.' I even challenged myself to see how many girls I could sleep with in a single day. Thankfully I matured and realized what an a**hole I had been. It's been 8 years since I last cheated."
Others discussed the flaws of the relationship they turned their back on. There are often plenty of toxic elements that lead to one--or both--partners straying.
Mutual Departure
"We were drifting away from each other. We hadn't seen each other in a month. Just started college, meet the woman I would marry."
"We talked right after it happened, she said she had done the same thing a week prior, we were pretty much broken up at this point anyway. Mutual assured destruction I guess"
-- GearDarkness
People Who Made A Lot Of Money From Something Totally Random | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Tip of the Iceberg
"I thought at the time the only thing wrong in the relationship was just that the sex was bad."
"Afterward I realized a lot of what made the sex bad was lack of attraction and poor communication. Broke up with her and never cheated again."
-- rezuler
Know When to Fold Em
"She was very emotionally abusive and manipulative and I used attention from other women as an escape from that and to help my self esteem. I should have just gotten out of the relationship."
-- SinterClauss
One Who Would Listen
"I was married to a self-centered man/child who saw me as his bang/maid. I put up with it for years and tried to improve the marriage with couples counseling, so many different therapies for couples counseling til I found one he was listening to. I tried and tried, and was the only one putting in any work."
"I had to go onto antidepressants. When this happens you need someone to 'spot' you as the doctors told me that antidepressants increase the chance of suicide. My husband couldn't even be bothered to do that. He couldn't check in on his wife, living in the same house, caring for his children in case she was suicidal."
"The only person willing to do that was a close friend of both of us who actually cared. He would regularly talk with me through my stuff with my family while we gamed. He was my sanity. He was the dear sweet man who I have lived with now for longer then the marriage relationship. He is a wonderful caring human who treats me as an equal."
-- coldandwet
A Key Element of Any Relationship
"He has no interest in sexual contact with me. I'd have to beg and chide for anything once a year. At a certain point, it just became too much work."
-- sjd2109
Hurt People Hurt People
"He was controlling, I needed therapy, I wanted to regain control of myself so I cheated. Multiple times. With multiple guys. He never found out but it eats away at me. I had been cheated on in the past so I never thought I'd do the same to someone else. But I did."
"I am in therapy now, and haven't been in a relationship for at least two years. I won't be until I feel I can choose a good partner and be a good partner."
Finding What They Needed
"Because it made me feel like someone actually wanted me and I could be myself without worrying about criticism."
"I still love my wife but she has control and anger issues that I didn't realize when we got married. Being one of those always right kind of people she can be hard to talk to and isn't receptive to the idea of counseling. That doesn't excuse my own actions but there it is."
-- Goodstapo
Fleeing
"I tried breaking up with an abusive ex but he essentially said "no" but I was at college after this first attempt. Made out w a lot of people never full sent anything, even tho I considered myself single my ex was still trying to make something of it."
"He used to beat me and constantly mentally abuse me and gaslight me, so I honestly had no remorse for what I did. If he found out now even years and an apology for his past actions later, I'd still be afraid he'd come to hurt me."
-- AnnaMak
A Messy Process
"I don't need to go into the whole story because I'm lazy, so TL;DR my girlfriend cheated on me because she was a dumb 19 year old, so I went and drove 2 hours to sleep with an ex that my girlfriend specifically hated for some reason out of spite, because I was an even stupider 19 year old."
"We worked through our issues and are going on 9 years of marriage this year with our 2nd kid on the way."
-- PartTimePOG
Hot Take
"Thought I was gay. Had to be sure before I broke things off with my wife. Turns out I wasn't."
"Never told her, never will. I regret nothing."
-- jandr08
Let's be clear: none of this condones cheating. Rather, we hope an understanding of these warning signs leads to far less of it.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Some of our possessions are no-brainer, have to have them, best things in the universe. Others are total beaters, through and through liabilities, that should have been trashed years ago.
But what about those possessions that fall right in between?
These are the things we love as much as we hate. Like some people or places in our lives, these objects and us have a love/hate relationship--and, surprisingly, almost as much baggage as the human version includes.
Some Redditors sat down and shared their best examples of these kinds of possessions.
lliorca336 asked, "What do you have a love / hate relationship with?"
Some set their sights on the elephant in the room. They described their excitement as well as all the issues that come with the expansive, unbelievably powerful internet.
The Whole Dang Thing
"The internet." -- LM1120
"Yup. On one side, it can really help people who feel alone. However, it can also breed toxicity." -- RHCube
"Back down it was as simple as don't use it but thats not really possible anymore" -- Derpsterio29
Even More Whole
"Technology in general."
"On the one hand, it's nice that I was able to deposit a check just now while sitting down on my bedroom. On the other, screw anyone who has the audacity to call me and greet me with a robot."
Horrifyingly Convenient
"I have it with none other than 'Google.' "
"I hate it when Google tracks my every move. I even feel scared sometimes. Like just the other day, I was watching 'Padmavat' on Amazon Prime. It wasn't even my account, but my husband's. We had to stop in the middle due to something."
"And as soon as I opened my Gmail next, the very first email on the top was a 'Spam' email asking me if I missed out on watching 'Padmawat?' Really Scary!"
"And then, I love it when it takes me down the memory lane. Like just today, my Google Photos app asked me if I would like to see where I was on this day in 2010? I thought why not. Turns out, I was at my friend's wedding. Which reminded me, 'Oh! It's her anniversary today!' "
"I simply sent one of her gorgeous pics wishing her happy anniversary. We had a long chat, after which I sent over all of the pics from that day. She was really happy to re-visit them and tagged them as the best anniversary gift!"
-- toxasagt
Others chose to discuss those necessities of day-to-day life that they've actually come to love completing over and over.
But that doesn't mean they don't get annoying all the time too.
Procrastinating
"Showers."
"That weird thing where I'll waste time before entering the shower because it feels like such a chore that takes a long time, I'm gonna need 5 h to dry my hair afterwards etc., but then when I'm in the shower i never wanna get out."
-- Victoria749
Cruising, Until Your Not
"Driving is my biggest love/ hate relationship. I absolutely love the feel of driving when there's a small amount/ no traffic and the feel of being able to go wherever you want in your country is so freeing. Start/stop traffic, car maintenance costs, insurance, monthly payments, terrible roads, the possibility of an accident, driving through new places without clear signage etc..."
"Man, driving at its best is one of my favourite things in life but at its worst I wonder why I ever got my license and look toward busses with jealousy."
-- LTPfiredemon
It Will Never End
"Cooking. I hate the necessity of having to prepare food and the process itself, but I usually like the result, and if I cook for other people, I get many compliments for how it's good."
"You know, when I hate to do that, then at least it gotta be tasty."
-- Ziriath
Others spoke about the luxuries in life. It almost feels absurd to complain about such wonderful, unnecessary possessions.
And yet, they are luxuries with a slight catch.
The Nut Barrier
"Chocolate."
"Probably my biggest trigger to ruin my diet. Doesn't even have to be good chocolate. Doesn't even have to be mediocre chocolate (by American standards). I'm talking about, like Palmer's Double Crisp super-cheap, probably-not-even-actually-chocolate Chocolate."
"My only saving grace is that I'm allergic to peanuts, and a lot of the really really cheap chocolate has peanuts/peanut butter in it, so it's no longer a temptation."
More and More
"Having a home gym:"
"Love: Not having to go far and not having to deal with other ppl and their bs."
"Hate: Everything you want is much more expensive than you expect... and you keep wanting more"
Another Take on Tech
"Modern technology. For every way it makes our lives easier, there's at least five ways it makes things harder."
"But overall, it's generally worth it... if you can get the stuff to finally work, which might take you all day."
-- Arekai4098
So the next time you find yourself out of wits in frustration, only to come back to that same object or task the very next day, don't feel so alone.
Everyone out here is emotionally confused about their inanimate objects and abstract concepts.
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For the person deep in the throes of a toxic relationship, that familiarity of all that discomfort can be seductive. Simply put, we choose to stay in the horror we know, rather than pursue the unknown path away from the pain.
But sometimes there's a shift, a snap of sorts.
Whether it's an abusive act, an important conversation with a friend or trusted therapist, or just some epiphany that strikes like a bolt, a single moment can turn the tide and finally push us out of the loveless pairing.
Some Redditors took a moment to share the times they finally pulled themselves out of something that was hurting them.
A warning that a few of these stories contain discussions of physical and emotional abuse.
Minecraft_Stoner asked, "People who have been on the receiving end of a toxic relationship, how did you find the courage to leave?"
For some, the time to change struck them after a long, erosive process. As the time wore on and on, and their spirits never lifted, they finally made the move to get out.
These anecdotes illustrated that, many times, there are no tricks to this. Only the right circumstances where you feel ready to leap.
No More Wasting
"I just thought about how I didn't wanna keep wasting my time being unhappy. You love them so you want to stick by them and give em chances, but there's a point where enough is enough and you have to value your happiness and peace of mind."
"I knew leaving would be hard to do, but staying in a toxic situation is a lot harder. You have to realize your worth and sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to see it."
-- blowpops13
Straw that Broke the Camel's Back
"8 year relationship. Not abusive, but definitely toxic due to several instances of catching him lying, messaging other women, manipulating my emotions after I'd confront him, gaslighting, etc."
"Year 7 I decided to focus more on myself, increasing my self confidence, advancing my own career/education. The next time one of those situations occurred, I felt good enough about myself and my position to leave him."
-- sophlog
A Sudden Break
"I never did find the courage, just anger."
"Over time the feelings of fear, sadness, and that desperate desire to just make everything okay and happy turned into resentment, contempt, disgust, and anger. I found him repulsive. Just the thought of him touching me made my skin crawl."
"One day he started in on his sh** and I guess the scales finally tipped. I didn't plan it, it just happened. The love was long gone, but now there wasn't even an ounce of affection or caring left. All I felt was hate and rage."
"I remember telling him we were done and to get the fu** out, I remember the look of surprise on his face, and I remember the hate that I felt, but that's about it. Mostly I remember the hate."
"Honestly I hope I never feel that way again, because I scared myself way more than he ever did. I was just barely in control and I think if there'd been any indication that he was about to get physical (and I'm surprised it didn't go that way) I would've ended up in a blind rage and either gotten myself hurt/killed or done something awful."
"Took me years of therapy to sort myself out after that one."
The Days of Disappearing
"I just sort of had an epiphany where I realized I look forward to my alone time, and dread time with her. She liked to throw around crap like 'If you really loved me you'd ____' to get me to pay for everything, or 'If you leave I'll just kill myself.' And suddenly I found myself thinking...good. Fu**ing do it. Please."
"And one day while she was out I packed up all my crap and left. I put most of my stuff in a storage unit and lived out of my car/tent for a month while I saved up for my own place. This was before everyone had cell phones and there was no social media so by just disappearing like that she couldn't do jack."
-- m31td0wn
Simply Unsustainable
"Noticed how draining it was & how dangerous even a slight mistake would be before everything explodes again."
"Tired of walking on egg shells. Tired of having to be interested & part of every interest of hers. Tired of not having opinions lest they be the wrong ones."
"Found myself preparing for & thinking, 'what if I slipped up,' since I was physically exhausted - then realized if that would be all it would take for world war 3, it isn't really worth the time & effort."
"By then, I didn't enjoy the relationship. If it was so simple to kick off another fight, it was gonna kick off no matter what I did or didn't do anyway."
"I figured it was gonna be painful, but rather than 'live in fear,' sheer exhaustion drove me to bite the bullet & break up."
"To be fair, the explosion & fury followed, but it wasn't my 'job' to care anymore. Got more important things to do than walk on eggshells & be smothered simultaneously."
A Professional Push
"Therapy. I had to hold myself accountable to someone else, and speak of my own behaviors and dependencies in order to finally end them."
"I was very good at hiding the fact that I was seeing this toxic person from my family and friends, all the while pretending to myself that having the toxic person was worth all of the pain."
"Actually, on World Mental Health Day, I made a choice to be unavailable to the toxic person for the first time in a few years, and that one decision changed the whole course of things. I eventually sat them down and explained that our story had come to an end...walked away that day and blocked them on everything."
"Two months later, I started dating the love of my life."
"Sometimes, you have to clear the road for the good things to arrive."
-- WhoIsYerWan
An Illuminating Trip
"I didn't even realize how toxic it was until she went away for a while, and I just felt like such a weight was lifted. I started meeting people, making friends, etc ... suddenly, I was a happy person, excited to wake up in the morning."
"So, I called her and told her I packed her shit up and she should come get it."
-- User1539
A Non-Collaborative Partnership
"My husband kept making financial decisions without me, and I decided I was done when he bought a $51,000 truck without mentioning it to me first. It feels good."
"The divorce papers get filed next week. Therapy helped me find the courage."
-- lismox42
For others, the decision to leave was extremely clear. After all, a history of physical abuse can make leaving extremely urgent, for the sake of safety and an obvious desire to avoid trauma.
Putting Their Foot Down
"She hit me pretty regularly, so I talked with my therapist about it to plan a way out. We came to the conclusion that saying 'you need to stop that or I'm leaving' would be the best thing. So, I did."
"She said 'I could ease up' and I said 'no, it needs to stop entirely. It's not playful. You punch me in the ribs forcefully and have said that you hope it bruises. That needs to stop entirely, or I will leave.' She didn't budge past her previous point, so I left."
"I regret none of it."
-- TheMerk10
No More Accepting
"When I was working out how to handle the next time he hit me, I realised that I was accepting the fact that there would be a next time."
"As soon as I could walk I packed up my kids and left."
-- ifmtobh
Calling in Backup
"After he threatened my life, I had my dad kick him out. I made sure not to talk to him at ALL afterwards. Blocked him on everything. I also got an Apple Watch for emergency reasons bc even though it's been like 6 years since we broke up he still mails letters to my parents house saying he's going to find me."
"Anyway, I was actually scared into leaving him, didn't necessarily take time to muster up courage or anything. It all happened very fast and was quite impulsive."
"The hardest part that took the most bravery was not actually talking to him or letting him call me to 'apologize.' Also it helps to have a good friend you can stay with or talk to for extra comfort and protection."
Can't Risk That
"He shoved me and I fell to the ground. That was after he dropped me onto a couch 'playfully.' "
"I knew it would be a matter of time before he hit me. And I was significantly smaller (5'1" 90lbs)."
"Happy to say I'm now happily married to someone wonderful."
-- greffedufois
A Tea Too Many
"I was in my early 20s, she hit me one day with a mug full of tea on my back reasonably hard and I twigged I was being abused/in a toxic relationship then."
"I went home, came back the next day and told her that was it. The courage was a simple light switch in my head, I just didn't realise everything was going dark."
"Good luck to everyone out there x"
-- GPisrad
For some, they never actually did make the bold decision to go through with the breakup. Instead, their partner actually did it on their own.
But the freedom felt after the end was sudden and palpable.
A Rush of Relief
"I didn't. Eventually she broke up with me. It was the most painful relief I've ever felt. I learned a lot, and now I know the signs."
"Would that I could've learned them another way."
-- treerain
It Only Takes a Couple Week to See
"He broke up with me and I cut him off completely. Gave him a month alone thinking that I would annoy him and he wouldn't want me back (dumb) then after about 2 weeks realized how much happier I actually was."
"Never went out of my way to contact him again. He, if course, flipped out and threw a year long hissy fit about it."
-- Diindiisii_
Time Helps
"I didn't. The toxic a**hole left me. What she did after that I appreciate to this day: she didn't cut me off but she never contacted me first."
"Eventually I got her out of my system and I rarely think about her now."
Pushed Away
"She started seeing the guy she was cheating on me with, and I got forced out. She didn't formally break up with me, just basically let me know she had been cheating on me, again, and that she was seeing him now."
"She threatened to leave me a couple of times before then, but I begged her to stay because she had engrained in my mind that I couldn't live without her, rather than using it as an out. She left me no choice in the end"
To all those out there struggling in something that they feel might be toxic or hurting them in some way, know that it's okay to be confused, it's okay to not know if you're right about how good or bad things are.
But, if it's possible, tell someone. Get out of the echo chamber.
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Wedding Industry Professionals Break Down How They Knew A Couple Was Destined For Divorce
The photographers, DJs, officiates, and planners of the wedding industry hold a unique perspective.
They get to witness the lead-up to the couple's important, deeply symbolic day. Sitting at the table in that context offers those industry professionals a glimpse of the mundane dynamics of couples before the big event.
And sometimes, those minutiae present some serious red flags for the future of that relationship after the vows are exchanged, the decorations stowed away, and life goes on.
Lucky for us, some of those industry professionals use Reddit, and they shared the sauciest tales from the world of ominous weddings.
Justhearmeoit asked, "People that work in the wedding industry, have you ever seen a couple and immediately thought 'this ends in divorce?' Why?"
Some people chose to share about the times when the problems of the relationship weren't subtle at all. They talked about full on arguments and fights that occurred.
Needless to say, it was clear to these professionals where things were headed for the couple.
Same-Day Annulment Service?
"They had a big fight the night before the wedding and were considering calling it off. Until the bride showed up 30 minutes before the ceremony, no one was sure if she would be there at all.
"The groom danced with his MOM more times than he did with the bride. The bride was snippy and nitpicky with the staff all night."
"The word 'annulment' was cast around and I hope to god they went through with it the next day because holy sh**."
Damn the Torpedoes, Going Through With it Anyway
"I work and in a hotel. I came in one night to find the wedding was already wrapped up (it was supposed to go until 1 AM and it was 11 PM) because the wedding couple had a fight and she went home with mom."
"At another one they had a huge rehearsal dinner fight which spilled out into the lobby."
"Everyone in the lobby found out that she hated his parents, she was pregnant and she had no idea who the father was, and a few other things. Half the guest list packed up and checked out the next day."
"They still got married."
Zero Investment, Just Another Workday
"I used to work at a popular wedding venue. Bride and groom came in the day before for rehearsal, checked the decorations, and played a sweet video of the couple, standard wedding bullsh**."
"Next day, bride and groom arrived fighting the entire time until reception where the groom proceeded to drink himself blind before speeches and had to be carried out, didn't even get to play that video."
"It was the best shift ever, got to go home early and take home a bunch of food already paid for."
-- ihatepeasoup
In a few cases, the couple itself actually seemed quite strong and loving. Unfortunately, that's not the only thing that matters.
Marriage unites entire families, for better or worse.
Water and Oil
"A few times as a photographer. The couple were usually fine, the families themselves were too different and combative." -- AnchorBuddy
"Oh my god yes. My and my fiance would be married by now if the idea of our families actually meeting wasn't absolutely horrifying." -- elkwaffle
Horrible Moment to Bring That Up For First Time
"When the bride and groom argued over why the groom's mother shouldn't get all money given to them on their wedding day. Ya that was a red flag." -- JoeEIRE
"Hahaha my ex tried to convince me to let his mum take the money that night and we'd collect it the next afternoon when we got back from our hotel stay. Fat chance I'd let the extreme gamblers hold on to that much cash." -- chanzii
Love is Earned
"I've been the DJ at a few hundred weddings. There was drama at most of them in some way. One in particular broke out into an old school saloon style fight like in the old 'Western' movies."
"I'm pretty sure that one didn't last."
-- Birdapotamus
Familial Omens
"Was at a friend's wedding once, it was at the justice of the peace, when the judge or officiant came around to if anyone doesn't believe in the union to speak up or forever hold your peace, a loud 'UH-OH' came shrieking from the back."
"It was my friends 2 Year old son, everybody was joking saying it was a sign. Less than a year later the couple got divorced."
And finally, sometimes a lack of commitment and fidelity is screaming from the face--or even lips--of the bride or groom. In word and action, some people play with fire on the wedding day, and show their cards.
I suppose it is better to know that earlier than later.
Ogling in the Wrong Direction
"Photographing the groom and you see his eyes light up when a guest arrives."
"You look over and it's a cute woman in a short dress. He smiles, walks up to the woman, picks her up and swings her in his arms."
"Best smile I captured of the groom all day. Marriage didn't last 6 months from what I've heard."
-- Twitfried
So Everyone's Up to Speed
"I worked fine dining/catering for over 20 years so Iʻve worked lots of weddings and receptions."
I once heard a bride at the reception during the toasts say that she actually thought she was asking out the grooms twin brother on their first date and that might actually be cute except she ...just kept going on."
"How the twin was more compatible, etc. then she ended the toast with 'well...as nice as you are youʻll make a great first husband.' "
"I was walking past the camera man at that time and you can hear me on tape saying 'did you get that? Tell me you got that.' "
-- Scoobymaybe
Yup, That'll Do It
"I work for a catering company..."
"I knew they were going to get a divorce as soon as the bride started grinding on the best man when the groom was puking his guts out in the corner."
-- shallotthot
Of course, it would be wonderful to feel assured that all weddings go off without a hitch and lead to a long term, loving relationship.
But let's be honest, that's not reality. Sometimes the event is a calamity. Apparently, sometimes the partnership itself is a calamity.
And this is the internet, so those are the stories people love to talk about.
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A recent Reddit thread shed some light on the overwhelming benefits of being single.
Sure, finding a soulmate is wonderful; there are few things greater than true, generative love with another person. But let's face it, that's not always what a relationship actually looks like.
Rather, many relationships are fraught with stress, communication breakdowns, and reciprocal guilt. That can be a lot to carry.
And then there are the logistics. Having a partner means scheduling, pooling resources, and delegating emotions.
Some solo Redditors weighed in to celebrate their current individual status.
lifeasaten asked, "What is a reason you are glad to be single?"
A Mind At Ease
"On a day to day basis, I struggle less with feelings of guilt."
"There are things one misses out on by not being in a relationship, but not beating yourself up over a snappish reply or a thoughtless gesture towards someone you care about are not among them."
-- Kipsydaisy
Becoming Present
"I'm not a huge fan of the single life but in the past when I've been in a relationship, I always felt like I needed to check my phone 24/7."
"I like being able to just chill and play video games, watch a movie, hang with friends without checking my phone consistently."
-- RealECW
One Thing at a Time
"I'm learning to navigate the world through the lens of my own needs and desires without worrying how I'm being perceived by a partner."
"I do not believe I will be a good person to be in a relationship until I can do that- so I'm happy to struggle with it."
"Also I really love dancing poorly to LCD sound system while my dog watches with fear and judgement in his eyes. Not that I couldn't do that before... it's just so free to do it in my own apartment alone."
Be Sure to Be Ready
"A lot of people I know who've ruined their lives did so over a lover."
"Whether trying to get one, keep them, or fighting someone else over them, relationships can be very dangerous if you're too emotionally immature."
Tis the Season for Stress
"Christmas is coming and I have no stress and it's not expensive" -- YourWifeNdKids
"Agreed. On top of loving that I can live alone, I just bought a house that needs furnished. So aside from the parents/siblings secret Santa, my money is mine to buy what I need and also share what I don't for a good cause."
"Donating to my local animal shelter this year." -- Kharyian
Plenty to Like
"I'm naturally very empathetic and a people pleaser. It's a part of my brain that goes into hyperdrive when I'm with someone I like. It's not even conscious most of the time, but it can be exhausting."
"It's nice that my brain can turn that part off when I'm alone."
"Also I can wake up and go to sleep at any time I want without messing up my SO's sleeping patterns. And middle of the bed!"
"And not needing to check in with his plans."
Pragmatic Gains
"I can sleep in the middle of the bed with the fan on if I want. I can also leave something on the table and come back two weeks later and it is still there." -- GoatSculpture
"Conversely, I can clean off a table and two hours later it's still clean." -- my_meat_is_grass_fed
"Midnight flatulence without a care." -- MeanMrMaxwell
The Un-Obligated Social Life
"No longer being forced to hangout with their friends." -- Rude_Attorney_9428
"Especially when the friends are one-dimensional pretentious turnips" -- goldenloxe
"In a relationship and the worst is having to meet their friends boyfriends. Absolute lottery of whether they're going to be boring or weird and you're stuck with them for hours." -- bwfcphil1
What You Need, When You Need To
"I visited a friend in Nashville back at the beginning of the year. I'd been there for all of four hours when this little voice in my head went, 'You belong here.' So I'm moving there next summer."
"Probably wouldn't be able to do that if I wasn't single."
-- EllieD0113
A Clearer Mind to Work With
"I'm glad to be single because I'm learning self-love peacefully. Being in a relationship while working on my self-worth definitely helps open parts of me that need work but also causes a lot of stress."
"Healing isn't easy but I'd rather do it where I don't have extra obstacles!"
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