No one wants to come off looking bad on a first date. Nerves may get the better of a person, and it's hard to get out of your own head, but at the end both parties should reasonably assume it's hard to open up to someone. Usually, they can give the other party a little slack if they mispronounced a word funny or knocked over their drink on the table.
...Then there's these nightmare tales.
Reddit user, turtlelevelslow, wanted people to dish on their dates when they asked:
What was the weirdest date you've ever been on?
But The Voice In My Head Says...
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"Dated a woman who didn't tell me she needed meds because she was psychotic. In the middle of dinner (at a restaurant) she got quiet and distracted. I asked if she was feeling okay. Apparently one of the voices told her I was a horrible person and she pulled a steak knife on me."
"A customer was able to talk to her, and got her to put the knife down. The police were called, and she was arrested. I didn't press charges, and about a week later, she sent me a letter with proof that she's been in counseling for a long time, takes medication, and included a heart felt apology."
Not Weird Enough To Say "No"
"Went to a clothes shop with this guy to pick up something for my baby sister before heading to a coffee shop. This was the first time I had ever met him face-to-face as we had met online, despite living in the same student accommodation."
"We head down the escalators to the second floor to the pyjamas, lingerie and kid section and he runs over to the selection of bras, picks one up, puts it on over his shirt and jacket and asks me if I think it fits/suits him."
"I'm still with him a year and a half later."
Going All In On The Opening Hand
"This one was honestly crazy. Met this guy through tinder, seemed cute just had a weird face. Not my type because brown hair and brown eyes? FaceTimed a few times and he seemed super sweet. This was out of the ordinary because I usually am not attracted to over emotional guys unless they're extremely attractive. He was just normal but I was lonely after a recent breakup, went to the movies with him and swerved his kiss and he laughed sounding somewhat hurt? Like dude I just met you??? Then..... I noticed he's squeezing my hand a little, which I ignore but then he squeezes the SH-T out of my hand and I'm just trying not to freak out or trigger him, I laugh a little and he lets go. That was like the first red flag."
"Then I kissed him and he was a shitty kisser. No tingle no jazz nuthin. Then later on we head home and he seems sad and I keep asking if he's okay. He insists he's fine, then he calls me right after he drops me off and starts sobbing to me about how he's so scared to be hurt."
"First date. And this? I just said "yeah I'm gonna hurt your feelings if you date me, we're better off not talking"
"Dude still tries to hit me up to this day knowing I'm dating - my bestfriend of all people - like yeah no way buddy.... no waaaaay."
You Need To Start Making Better Choices
"Two come to mind."
"1. Dude picks me up, we go to the grocery-store, I pick up pickles, because I love pickles. Go to his place, I eat my pickles, he's just standing there, offers to watch a movie. I'm down. He has a projector in his bedroom and puts on damn machete movie and disappears 5 min in for about 30-45 minutes. I'm like "this dude is definitely somewhere sharpening his machetes and planning to kill me". I leave his place. We meet in the hallway and he's confused by me leaving, didn't hold a machete thankfully. Never met again."
"2. Date. Go to a coffee-shop. We sit down, I order a salad and a coffee, he orders a drink. I tried to hold a conversation, but he was just not interested. It was awkward as hell, so I was just silently sitting there with my damn salad. We leave, he offers to go watch a movie. Okay? He brings me to his place and just turns on a tv to a random channel. It was boring as hell. "Right dude, I'm outta here." He literally picked my up and carries me to a bedroom onto a bed. There are woman stuff everywhere around the room - clothes, makeup, parfume. I freak out, jump up, demanded to be dropped home. He then got the hint and drove me home."
"At this point I'm surprised I haven't beed kidnapped, raped and killed."
Wait For The End...
"A baseball player that sat next to me in one of my classes my freshman year of college was adamant about taking me out so I reluctantly said yes."
"He picked me up from my apartment, we drove in silence to a restaurant, despite me asking him questions that he didn't answer. Not one peep. Ate at the restaurant and yet he still didn't say one word the entire time, again despite me talking to him and him just giving me blank stares back. Drove in silence back to my apartment and he asked if he could use my bathroom so I said "sure".
"Guy comes out of my bathroom about 20 min later and sits on my couch. I tried to get him to leave for about 2 hours saying "I have to be up really early in the morning so I need to go to sleep". Finally he got up to leave and laid the sloppiest kiss on me in the doorway. Took all of my makeup off of the lower half of my face. He said goodbye and left."
"Here's the kicker: I walked into my bathroom to wash my face and THIS DUDE took a massive sh-t in my toilet and didn't even attempt to flush. Not clogged or anything, he just didn't flush. Needless to say he switched seats in class after that night and we never spoke again."
How Do You Say No?
"Went to my boyfriend's family reunion."
"It was a oyster buffet."
"I'm allergic to oysters."
An Expert Player
Tinder date- the guy turned up and looked completely different to his picture. He had a mullet because he cut his own hair. Divulged within 5 mins that he was circumcised and that he could "play the vagina" quite well.... #nsfw #catfish"
Don't Shame The Claw!
"Went to the movies with a boy from school. We saw a horror movie, and he did NOT know how to act. Firstly, when my mom dropped me off, he griped to her about how he was "emo" and how his entire family hated him. Should've been a red flag, but I was already there. Afterwards, in the arcade, he spent all of the $40 in his wallet on game credits then insulted me when I asked to play the claw machines. More awkward than weird, but still, thought it belonged."
...How Do You Even Get Anything Done?
"I went on a date with a girl to a bar and grill."
"The girl just got set free from a bad relationship. The bartender was her uncle, the server was her sister, and her fresh ex-boyfriend was there on a date with another guy."
Maybe We Can Talk About Me? Unselfishly?
"Another one: I went on a date with this girl from tinder. She "super liked" me and messaged first, so I was really happy to have someone interested. I asked if she'd like to go for a walk some time and she said she'd love to."
"So we get to walking and like 5 minutes in, she asks if I have roommates. I said yes, I live with 5 people and tell her about a few of them. "Theres Max, Matt, Mark,..." "Wait, Mark Smith? I know him! What's he been up to..."
"So we start chatting about my roommate and she knows a lot about him. His family, the sports he plays, his girlfriend. Every time I try to move the conversation somewhere else, she brings it back to Mark. She's not even pretending to be into me anymore, she's just fangirling out over my roommate. "I just love him, his hair is always so shiny and he smells so nice!". She spends the full 2 hours talking about him and asking all sorts of questions. I didn't really know what to do, so I just boredly keep answering."
"When we get back to our cars, she shifts gears again. "Hey, so I had a really great time. Want to go back to your place to have some fun?". She's really creeping me out at this point, so I tell her I have homework to do and maybe later."
"I get back and tell Mark about the date and he knows exactly who she is. He picks up his phone and immediately calls the police. They show up at the house find the girl outside in the back yard and arrest her for violating a restraining order or something."
"It turned our she was super unstable and had stalked my roommate since they went on one date almost a year prior. She recognized from photos she had of him and used me to find out where he lived."
Perhaps The Whole Boat Thing Should've Been A Red Flag?
"Third date with a guy from hinge. Started of completely normal- went to a pub for a few drinks. Pub closes. Guy invites me back to his."
"We get back to his and have a few more drinks, he then asks if I'd like to smoke a joint. Hadn't smoked for a few years but thought "hey it'll be fine". End up feeling very sick and unable to move. Guy doesn't have a bucket or bowl so brings over the entire kitchen bin and places it next to me. He then suggests we watch a movie."
"Guy puts on American Psycho and I sit there for the next two hours paralysed and paranoid completely convinced he's going to murder me."
"Also he lived on a boat."
So...Horses?
"I went on a 4 hour date with a woman who rides horses for a living."
"The entire 4 hours she told me everything I could possibly want to know about horses and then some."
"I learned so much about horses that I done forgot most the sh-t she told me."
And She Was Never Seen Nor Heard From Again
"Was going to go to a bar with a girl I met on tinder. She showed up 15 minutes late, which wasn't that big of a deal. Got out of her car, crossed the street, and then awkwardly shook my hand. Told me she forgot her ID at home, apologized, and then left. :/"
Polan-splaining?
"Dated a man who corrected my Polish, because his grandmother was Polish and she told him how to pronounce some words."
"Mind you, I was brought up in Poland, went to school and college there, read a zillion books, saw a zillion Polish movies etc. But this guy was very condescending about my pronunciation of the few words he learnt from his grandma."
Actually Sounds Fun
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"This chick suggested we go to this experimental art exhibit thing. It had a giant ball pit for adults (among other things). Pretty interesting to have two 30-somethings in a ball pit for a date."
Wow...
"My first dating app date. Starts off pretty good, we barely put in our dinner order and her phone starts blowing up. Her ex was drunk and causing a scene outside her apt. Her ex kept calling, then her roommate started and then the landlord calls threatening to call the police. We get our food to go and I take her back to her apt. Long story short, both her and her ex are crying messes, she goes inside, leaves me outside with crying drunk ex who starts telling me all about how he messed their relationship. Dude is way too drunk to drive, I end up driving him to his apt, Uber back to my car, realize my date took all the food with her. The joys of dating!"
Maybe it's better to be single? Or is that just us?
Do you have similar stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
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The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
