For my fifteenth birthday (which is a pretty big deal for my culture) I got dumped. In the middle of the dance floor at my birthday party. While wearing an enormous white poofy gown. Because he had a baby the whole time and realized he wasn't going to be able to keep lying about it. Oh, and also he thought my mom was hot and it was weird for him.
He sprung this all on me directly after handing me my birthday gift, so it was like a 1-2 combo. Buddy hit me with the ol' 2 piece and a biscuit.
It sucked, and it absolutely caught me off guard - but his gift was a Pearberry set from bath and body works, which was like gold to a 15 year-old in the 90's. So it all worked out.
Recently, a Reddit thread about unexpected (though maybe not as crappy?) birthday gifts popped up. The responses made me feel less alone in sucksville, but also kind of restored my faith in the birthday fairies.
Birthday Package
My girlfriend and I started dating freshman year of college and neither of us live in the state we go to school in. Over the summer we went home and did long distance for the three months. My birthday is in the summer and she kept telling me she was gonna send gifts she got for me and kept asking questions like "when does mail usually get to your house?"
She also made up this story about how the kids she babysat liked to take her phone and play with it. She casually mentioned that she was taking them to a pool the next day (day before my birthday).
Her mom texted me that day while I'm at work telling me that one of the kids dropped her phone in the pool. I felt so bad because I was told that she was a wreck about the whole situation because she would be out of communication for my birthday.
I get home from work and I'm sitting on the couch and my mom comes home and tells me the package that my girlfriend sent me was on the porch so I open the front door expecting a big cardboard box but instead I got a short, gorgeous lady who had flown so many miles to spend a week/my birthday with me
- jgilly00
Don't Give Up
My husband and I were trying to have a baby, and not having success. For my 34th birthday my mom sent me a sleep giraffe for my future baby nursery. Turns out it was the last birthday gift I would get from her, she died 10 months after that birthday in 2016. I found out I was pregnant in early 2017, and never got to share that news with her. I remember being annoyed when I opened the box, but now I realize it was just a sweet sentiment from her telling me not to give up. After she passed, going through her things, I found a congratulations card meant for me in the event I had a baby, a card she never got to send.
I look at that sleep giraffe every day, it's the first thing I see every morning when I wake up, and she tells me every morning "don't give up."
- peechpy
A Late Meeting
A few days before my 30th birthday, my (now ex) wife told me she had a meeting in the city and would be home late - but she actually drove to the airport and picked up my best friend who had secretly flown in from out of state to surprise me.
The next day she took us to a spot a few hours away where we spent my birthday weekend with a bunch of my other friends. One of the best weekends of my life!
Broken Down
My 13th birthday I got the surprise that our truck broke down.
I lucked out and was able to ride home with the football team. We lived on a farm 13miles out of town. I did all the chores the next two days while my parents stayed in town "working on it." When they finally get home, my birthday was never mentioned. I never got cake or presents. They completely forgot about it. Sucky thing was we were really poor. I looked forward to my birthday because that and Christmas was when I'd get new clothes.
Killed me ever caring about birthdays. Which is sad since my wife really tries to spoil me. I have to put on my fake happy face and act like it's a big deal.
Fourth Grade
Not even joking, in fourth grade my friend gave me a 3 hour couples massage coupon.
Lost And Found
Giphy
I have an old silver watch that a nun gave me when I was in my teens. I would visit her in the nursing home when I was doing my required service hours for school. She was so sweet and I always looked forward to seeing her every day. My senior year she passed away, but gave me her watch before she did. I wore that watch every day until finally it stopped working.
A couple years after I moved in with my now fiance I accidentally lost it and was really upset for a long time because of that.
For my birthday last year I told my fiance that I didn't want him to spend any money on me so we can save for our wedding. That morning he handed me a small box. Inside was the watch, which he found at the bottom of a box in the basement, and he had cleaned it and fixed it. I still wear that watch everyday and that was honestly the best gift I'd ever received.
Swapped
A few years ago my siblings and I hosted a 70th birthday party for my dad on my birthday. My birthday is in July, his in February. We had him fooled into thinking the surprise party was for me and he was shocked when he walked in and realized it was his party. Half the fun was watching him almost spoil the surprise about a half a dozen times.
Fast forward to yesterday, I get a package in the mail with a super cozy sweatshirt and note from dad saying is was a birthday gift for me on his birthday. Included in the note, he stated, "I couldn't think of better person I would want to swap birthday's with." I'm not gonna lie, the note was the real gift.
- Tanaisy
Birthday Bike
My brother was riding my bike the previous day, and left it at the end of out driveway apparently.
So for my birthday he got me a stolen bike.
My mom's friend told me to not be upset because "we'll just get you another one" but I have never owned a bike since. Her parents had a lot of money, and always bailed her out, so she couldn't relate that not everyone would get bailed out all the time. I haven't had a bike since.
- mkicon
Hilarious
A cousin thought that it was hilarious to get me a 12 pack of condoms at my early 20s, in front of the entire family.
I wanted to die.
Bagels And Love
A Bag of Bagels.
I was at university (UK) and I had been wished happy birthday by my family and a small number of friends (read housemates) but hadn't gotten any gifts, considering I didn't have many good friends at uni and my Family live almost 6 hours up north from me, I wasn't really expecting anything in the form of gifts.
I decided on a whim that I would join up with a society I'm part of for a couple drinks at the local Spoons, but didn't tell anyone and just met em there. When I got there one guy saw me and called me over and gave me the bagels and said that they were really glad I came along cos they weren't sure if I was gonna.
Before he gave me these I had had like 5 conversations with this guy and barely knew him, but he went out of his way to learn my birthday and grab me a bag of bagels knowing it's one of my favourite foods.
Long story short we've now been dating for just under a year.
Nose Hair
My cousin gave me electric ear/nose hair clippers. She had apparently just had a first date with a guy and he had really long nose hair and it bothered her so she thought it would be a good gift for me (I don't think she was implying that I had long nose hair, just that it was something I should handle).
- twomz
Snoopy
Giphy
My family one time just gave me Snoopy clothes,I don't know why, since I never mentioned Snoopy at that time. And I got a lot of them. Weird, but they're still good.
Tickets
For my birthday, I was visiting my great aunt in California, my cousins were visiting with us as well. I was so happy, I love these cousins and they are so awesome. We were talking about their plans after they finish their visit, and they said something about ComicCon in San Diego. I told them I would love to go, but I don't think I'd ever go because I live on the east coast and don't have money (college student at the time).
They offered to take me and bought me a ticket! I was so in shock I told them they didn't have to do that and they said 'Its a birthday present.' I was not expecting that and I had so much fun there with them. I was so happy that they loved me so much to take me. I didn't tell them they had to, they offered to and I first felt bad because they had to spend more money on my ticket.
She's Totally Winning
A few years ago my then girlfriend, now wife bought me a PS3 and about fifteen games. Very unexpected, and very appreciated. And last year she bought me tickets to see Train and the Goo Goo Dolls, which was awesome for me (and taking one for the team for her; she's not exactly into either band). Worth noting that she has the same birthday as me, just a year younger; I have yet to give her anything as cool, though not for lack of trying.
- twcsata
Coldish Soup
A container of ice cream from a fancy ice cream shop a 4hr drive from where I live. Was a coldish soup by the time it got to me 😂 IDK WHY
Airpods
Not birthday, but one Christmas my mum got me airpods out of the blue. I didn't even ask for them or think about asking for them. Turns out it was the best thing I've ever got and I'm obsessed and they literally don't leave my ears lol.
Back To The Future
I'm a huge Back to the Future (BTTF) fan. I also grew up playing old school video game consoles like the Genesis and Super Nintendo. And as an adult I got back into retro games.
Now when it came to Back to the Future video games back in the day, they never got it right. From the horrible NES games to the horrible Genesis BTTF Part III game to the god awful Universal Theme Park simulator or whatever it was that was on the GameCube. It wasn't until 2010's Back to the Future game from Telltale Games that we finally got a great BTTF game.
But there was one BTTF game from the '90s that actually was good that I didn't know about for a very long time. In Japan they released "Super Back to the Future Part II" for the Super Famicom. It was only released in Japan and I live in the US, so I never heard about it. When I did I watched gameplay footage on YouTube and thought it looked great. But I had no way to play it, so I didn't even try to look for a copy.
Then, a few years ago, my birthday rolled around. My brother came around to my house to hang out and he brought a gift for me. I unwrapped it and there it was: A modified copy of "Super Back to the Future Part II" that worked on US Super Nintendos. And it was in English, too!
I don't know where or how he got it, but, man, I did not expect it and it remains one of my most treasured gifts because he got me something that really rings true to the type of person I am. He knows me extremely well and he used that knowledge to get me something that he knew I would love.
The Notebook
Giphy
When I was in my last year of high school I really hated both my literature class and the teacher who taught it. I often complained (in a joking manner) to my dad about how much I just wanted to straight up destroy my notebook once I graduated. A couple months after I finished (on my birthday) he took me to a shooting range to teach me how to use my mom's pistol (no big deal, he is a retired firearm instructor and it was something we had previously discussed).
After practicing for a while he went to retrieve something from the car: my notebook. Needless to say, I got the chance to tear it apart just like I always wanted to. The fact that he remembered something so trivial and turned it into an awesome yet unconventional gift made it really meaningful (and fun!).
The Cupcake
Three years ago someone at work gave me a cupcake for my birthday. I was the first time in 35 years that I've gotten anything other than a generic card or a facebook message for my birthday. I took the day off and went home and cried.
But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"
These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
– Tag2graff
Irrelevant Sadness
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
– notrachelmar
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
– ___jupiter____
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
– Frn071
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
– waqasnaseem07
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
Ignoring Bullies
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
– petitezoey
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
– LimeGrass619
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
– Open-Section-7263
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
– Asteriad
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
– Khomuna
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
– Elons_android
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
