People Share The Worst Excuses They've Gotten From A Cheating Ex
You're not serious are you?
Love is complicated. It's not like the movies. It's more like a Taylor Swift song or an Adele album. That's why they're so popular! Relationships can be difficult to navigate, especially if one partner can't pass strangers without falling into a bed. What's better is the excuses one uses for cheating. People are shocking.
Redditor u/sirkeylord was dying to know... What's the worst excuse you've heard for cheating?
50. What else?
My favorite: "the only reason I didn't cheat on you the last 3 months was because the job I had didn't give me an opportunity."
Another favorite: "well, I gave her a ride home and she didn't have cash, what else was I supposed to do?"Hilarious_83
Well, what else was he supposed to do? NOT cheat!? Don't be ridiculous. MattNemo
49. Written in the Stars...
My ex was very into astrology. She cheated and later blamed the great American eclipse of August 2017. SaltyStrength
Was she a fire bender and lost her powers or something? grantchart
48. Pig!
"My wife was pregnant, so I wasn't getting any." my_future_wife
Ironic considering the best sex I ever had was with a pregnant girl. 10/10 would do again. Sporaticeratic
47. Whack!
Ex girlfriend cheated when I fell asleep. . . said "since I wasn't responding, she assumed I was doing the same, so she cheated." Whack. drusey3
Well yeah, people who cheat assume everyone else is cheating. She was probably being honest when she said that. carnivoreinyeg
46. Well if you didn't have fun...
"I didn't even enjoy it because I was thinking about you the whole time and I felt terrible." btallredi
Have heard a variation of this. It made the situation worse because not only was he claiming to be thinking of me throughout the whole thing, but then ALSO making the decision to continue. Like halfway through, "Wait what about my partner.... naaaaah imma keep goin." nice_ghosty
45. Damn Tinder...
"I'm just on tinder to confirm that there's nothing better out there. It helps me appreciate you more." pdxcranberry
I created a fake tinder profile so my wife and I could see what it was all about - we met long before tinder was a thing. While scrolling through, we came across my brother's girlfriend's profile.
Fortunately though, she'd just forgotten to delete her profile. Thehotnesszn
44. Excuse me?
College roommate would cheat on his girlfriend a few times a semester, then feel awful about it and realize how much he loved his girlfriend.
He started to rationalize that "you need to cheat to stay faithful." Sully1102
43. No Tarts for you!
A friend in college cheated on his girlfriend because she told him he had to stop eating pop tarts to lose weight, and he didn't know how to break up with her. When she found out, he straight up told her to her face he couldn't give up pop tarts. I wish that was a lie, those things are high as hell in calories. Krunzuku
42. The Spirits told me to.
My buddy's dad was diagnosed with Colon cancer. He starts going to chemo and his wife starts going out with some other guy. His sister found out his mom was cheating on his dad so she told my buddy and he sat his dad down and talked to him.
Dad confronts cheating mom and she says (paraphrasing) "my fortune teller told me that the best way to get over your death would be to start something new with someone else."
Now mind you, his dad is not dead, or really even close. The cancer is responding well to chemo, and he's been slowly getting better. She literally tried justifying cheating on him because he might die....
She no longer lives in the house, and she, best to my knowledge, has been ex-communicated from the family. Reddit
41. How touching...
"It's not like it meant anything." Oh good, glad we cleared that up. Maxmoose800
Same. That actually made it worse to me. Like damn, if you would've been madly in love with him and just couldn't restrain your emotions, I mean I would still hate you but at least it would've been better than "I don't have to care about someone to f**k them even though you and I are together" haha. Nickbotic
40. Office Drama.
My ex: "he (her boss, married with 3 kids) offered me a (higher) position in the new company he was going to work at." Don't know, I ended the relationship and didn't look back. Pokemongolover
39. 2 Days.
Bestie was in the hospital having emergency surgery. Her family told her then-bf Sam, he never responded or showed. Cheated on her with a girl from high school, claiming "Well she didn't answer for 2 days!!" Yeah because she was nearly dead, forget you Sam. P_princess
38. Damn Penis.
"A penis has no conscience."
My late brother-in-law used that one. I used to think "Yeah, but the penis its attached to is supposed to." What's worse is my SISTER excused him by claiming (1) he had self-esteem issues and cheating made him feel better about himself (2) an accident left him with the emotional maturity of a 17 year-old so he couldn't control himself and (3) all men do it. sadjenny
37. The Monogamy Disease.
When they get caught, they try to play the "humans aren't meant to be monogamous" card. I'm like "if you don't believe in monogamy, why did you even marry in the first place only to cheat later? You could join a free love hippies commune at any time. But that's not what you did."moderate-painting
36. It's Always Stress.....
My ex-wife's. We'd been together since before university, been together through university (different uni's, same city), then got engaged and married after Uni. When I got my first actual big job after my graduation job a couple of years later we had to move across the country. She had been excited about the move, found a new job and got really involved in choosing the apartment we'd rent whilst we got set up and planning kitchen items she'd buy with my extra pay... it all seemed good and she genuinely seemed pretty excited for it.
About 2 weeks before the main move (I was already working there and commuting back and forth) I find out she's cheated, and then that she's cheated in the past and then that she cheated a year or more ago.
Her excuse: stress. Worried about moving to a new city? Bone a guy. Worried about your new job? Bone a guy. Worried about exams? Bone a guy.
She genuinely tried to make me feel sorry for her that she got so stressed that she had no option but to go and sleep with other people. I agreed with her that if that were true she had real problems and needed help, but disagreed that it was going to be my problem anymore.
It was a long time ago now, but a real eye-opener about other people lol. Can't be too angry though as we got married too young and the years that followed my divorce were some of the best of my life. Plus if it weren't for that I wouldn't have met my wife or have the family I have now, so all for the best in the end. Jjex22
35. Out of Area....
Someone once told me, "It doesn't count if its in a different zip code." And I noped right the heck out.
A, S.O. I had once told me, "Well I wouldn't have cheated if you were around." When I was on a two week pre planned trip. And he couldn't see why I'd break up with him over it. whateverlizard
34. Nothing.
I (25f) was married for 6 years and caught my husband cheating his response "i got nothing." That was it. swalto203
I have the most wonderful wife and I can never imagine cheating on her, but if I did and got caught, that would absolutely be my exact response. "I've got nothin'." alwaysaproject
33. Not true.
"Everybody cheats."
No, no they don't. If they do, they are crappy. lookitsblackman
A pet theory of mine about how much people hate when someone who's been cheated on calls it out publicly (other than the general how dare you interrupt my day sort of thing) is that any time you call out your ex as a cheating piece of crap, at least 30% of your audience is like "hey! I resemble that remark!" Tadhgdagis
32. Nice Try.
"You weren't around and she reminded me of you so you should feel flattered." selahoya
This actually made me mad reading it. sirkeylord
31. I'm going to punch you.
"Kissing is like holding hands, so it's not cheating, friends sometimes hold each other's hands. Maybe if I were doing it with lots of guys everyday, but that was a two times thing! Also, it was only a oral, it's not like we slept with each other, that would be cheating."valyriaed
30. Otherwise Engaged.
I said to a woman once, I'm married and she said, "that's ok, I'm married too." Reddit
"I'm engaged." "So am I. I don't see either of them here, though, do you?"
You don't see me here any more, either. See ya. DadJokesFTW
29. Exercise.
It was an exercise move that needed two people, to be naked in the shower. Reddit
And that's why I can't teach gym class anymore. spiritbx
28. Whoops....
I tripped and fell in between her skirt. Jimmy4SGF
And then tripped again for a good 50 times. And then fell on the floor and she tried to get up by standing up on top of me but she kept tripping about 20 times and then she started tripping faster for the next 12 times. After which she stopped tripping and walked away in shame while I sat there crying about how lonely I am. M0shka
27. Proof.....
"I felt like I wasn't good enough for you." wanalibi
Well... They proved themselves. sirkeylord
26. That Works?
"If you slept with me you'd be helping my relationship because we could have sex and then I'd go see her and last longer in bed."
Shockingly enough I said no. nochedetoro
I wonder how many times he tried that line and if it ever worked. Hopefully not. hobbitdude13
25. Dead Love.
I actually just found out I got cheated on a couple of days ago. Her excuse was "the relationship was dead" well maybe for you it was.
Safe to say, it definitely is now. Solar_Maniack
24. Taste the Rainbow....
"We were having a great time hanging out and she brought me Skittles!" Reddit
Who wouldn't sell off their relationship themselves for a bag of skittles?? Reddit
23. Gross....
"She came into my bedroom and took her clothes off. What was I supposed to do?" marcvsHR
Kick her out and report her for sexual harassment? Reddit
22. That's why you should floss....
One morning I went to brush my teeth and my toothbrush was wet... I found that odd, so I asked my girlfriend if she used the blue toothbrush, she said "yeah" all casual. I said that the pink toothbrush was hers and she played it off like she didn't know.
I suddenly realized that we had been using the same toothbrush for a few weeks and it kind of grossed me out. That started a very small argument. I went to work as did she, but she didn't come home that night. The next morning I called her out and she admitted that she slept with another guy that didn't think she was gross. atlasbranded
21. Oh Ross....
"I thought we had been on a break." CheshireGrin92
WE WERE ON A BREAK!! RaeVonn
You ever looked back at that character he is the worst, Ross was a "nice" guy if I've ever seen one I mean this is a character who lied about annulling a marriage because it was injuring his self esteem. livingdeadfreak
20. It Always Counts....
I was told that cheating isn't a real thing unless you're married. danoll
I've heard that one! And the guy who said it for years, who would use it as an excuse to cheat on his girlfriend because they weren't married, as soon as he got married, he was cheating on his wife too! keetstreet
19. Untied.
"I'm young and don't want to be tied down to somebody."
That's fine, but instead of cheating on somebody who thinks you actually care about them, specify that you're not looking for anything serious to begin with. holuvate
18. One Way or Another....
"One thing led to another..." as if it was just inevitable and couldn't be helped. Reddit
Adolf Hitler was a promising young art student. One thing led to another, and the United States dropped two atomic bombs on the sovereign nation of Japan! the_twelfth_dr
17. Lazy Answer.
I didn't think I would get caught. sarzec
"I thought you'd left!" - said to my college roommate when she left a party at her boyfriend's house, realized she'd forgotten something, went back and found him in his bedroom with someone else. She dumped him and it became a running gag for us to yell it at each other at random times. "Hey, can you get my lunch from the fridge for me?" "I thought you'd left!" Reddit
16. Call God.
She was Christian, I was not. She basically told me God made her cheat on me because he will not bless mixed religion relationships. So it was my fault. wall_of_swine
I think she needs to take another look at the commandments. Wheatley67
15. Classic....
''Drunk'' Aurhs
I think about 90% of the times an excuse is used for cheating, it involves alcohol, as if somehow that doesn't make it count. sirkeylord
14. Closed....
Married friend of mine agreed to a threesome with hubby once. He then started sleeping around with other women when she wasn't present, claiming that she agreed to the threesome so it's okay and she can't be mad. Sadly she stayed with him and now they're in an "open relationship," meaning he can bring women home but she can't sleep with anyone else. She's miserable. enematowel
13. Be Detailed....
A friend of mine: "How could you? I trusted you!"
Her (now) ex: "If you didn't want me to cheat, you should have said so!"
Really have to have a twisted mindset to believe cheating is the default option. 😐 Callentino
12. Fool!
She was contacting him a lot and when I found out that it had led somewhere and confronted him on it, word for word he said he 'didn't want to be a fool to her.' I was like, 'You didn't want to be a fool to HER? You're being a fool to ME!' Eskatrene
11. But we decided....
Her "Remember we talked about having an open relationship!"
Yeah and I said I'm not comfortable with that and you said ok. Had I known that ok was code for "I'm going to sleep with two of my coworkers at the same time while you're at your cousin's funeral" Then I'd have told you to screw off when you brought it up instead. RC_COW
10. Cured.
My girlfriend at the time and I were at a concert. I lost her for 1 set and then caught her making out with her friend. She told me she had cancer and wanted to experience as much as she could before she died. We then broke up (of course) and months later she told me that a priest cured her cancer and that she wanted to get back together. thicccdoggo
9. The Ex.
My ex husband cheated on me with some married woman because he didn't like how her husband talked to her. Well he probably talked to her like she was crappy because she was crappy. Throwawayxxx8
Probably something like "Yeah, you like that, you damn moron?" kaloonzu
8. It's Me, not you...
That it was my fault she slept with three different guys, because I didn't do enough for her
Yeah, paying the rent, and for her car, and going out to dinner once a week (minimum) as well as spending what time I could with her wasn't enough apparently.
Followed up by "well I was going to end it anyway so it's not really cheating, we're more like roommates I'd say, I was gonna suggest we just keep living together even after this."
Like... after 6 years I was supposed to want to be room mates/friends with her? Just so I could pay for everything still? zornyan
7. A Fairytale...
"It was a mistake, I messed up. she didn't mean anything anyway."
We had sex, he said he loved me. the next day, while i worked a 14 hour day so i had the next day off to spend with him, he went on tinder, found a match, set up a bowling date, took her home and had her stay the night. all the while texting me telling me how much he couldn't wait to spend the next day with me. i told him i hoped he found the Cinderella of his dreams. BirdDog360
6. Grow up....
Not an excuse but I had my coworkers tell me I was being "childish and immature" for saying cheating is 100% a deal breaker, and unforgivable.
They said there are "certain circumstances" that make it forgivable.
And I told them I don't care what the circumstances are. Once you break someone's, someone you supposedly care deeply about, trust like that? It's done. No repeats, no second chances. You cheat? We're done. End of.
They still called me childish and naive. These are people in their 40s. rizcriz
5. Beware the Demon....
In high school I dated this guy who was pretty mentally unstable. He claimed he had a demon inside of him (100% sure it was some multiple-personality disorder or something similar) and he said that his "demon" needed to find a mate too, and it wasn't fair for him to be stuck with me too like his "host," my bf, was.
Well I was 15 and stupid (and terrified of being dumped) so after a lot of crying and pleading for him to not cheat, I eventually gave in.
Man if I could go back in time and slap 15 year old me. SharpieScentedSoap
4. Makes Sense....
The ends justify the means, basically. Kid was a prick.
"The grades are more important to me than learning. My dad has a job position for me even if i get caught. I'm good at it too. I made straight A's last year and didn't study at all" SearchingForKokomo
3. I just heard....
"I'm sorry, I've just never had anyone interested in me before."
Um... hey fool, what about me?
He told me this after I confronted him after a friend told me. catcatmewow
2. Get a Therapist....
She talked to five dudes behind my back and screwed 2 others, for months, what did she say to me "I had to do it, you know my secret"
("What secret that you're an attention seeker?" this was via text and I had cut her off)
"I have trust issues"
2 days later she had a new boyfriend, after threatening to kill herself over me, claiming she never loved me, blaming me for her problems, and threatening me, fun times. SupremeMemeCreamTeam
1. My Bad....
"You're always working and I'm lonely! It's not like I slept with anyone, there's no one on there anyway!"
Said by my ex-fiance when I caught him on a dozen dating sites, sexting and trying to talk a bunch of BIGGER women into sleeping with him. I mean he wasn't lying, I was working all the time so I could, you know... MAKE MONEY FOR US TO LIVE ON. Screw me right?! I guess if I'd paid more attention to him he wouldn't have "had" to seek attention from other women.
Damn boob. nymphaetamine
Some of us just love the more scandalous moments in life.
They can be too far and few in between.
But when they come around, they always provide a good story.
Who doesn't love great mic drop action?
There is such freedom in embracing the... "I did that. And what?!" mentality.
Try it sometime. Within reason, of course.
Redditor Eyeso-pain- wanted to discuss everyone's scandalous moments of pride without care, so they asked:
"Redditors, What’s the most nsfw thing that you have done and don’t regret?"
Just telling a cold, hard truth is my mic drop.
Felt good.
Let's Chat
"Talked with my coworkers about our salaries."
ThaBossnian
"In all seriousness in the US under the National Labor Relations Act you have the right to discuss your salary with your coworkers and (legally at least) HR can't do a damn thing about it."
elementus
Hey Ladies
"This is tame but funny. Worked at a call center with other cubicles all around me. I went online to try and interpret a dream I had the night before. I typed in what I thought was Dreammoods, which is a dream dictionary but I must have skipped a letter because nude Dream girls started popping up on my screen and I could not get them to stop. It was rapid fire pop ups of Naked dream girls. LOL. I died."
RedHoneyBadger6
Smoking Hot
"I was living with my sister and her husband while in college (they lived just a few blocks from the school) one day while they were gone my gf came over wearing a sexy outfit. We were in the living room, making out furiously. She had just taken her skirt and top off and I heard a key in the lock."
"I was still dressed and booked it into the kitchen like I was grabbing sodas from the fridge and engaged them in conversation while standing in the doorway between the kitchen and living room as she quickly got dressed out of sight."
"She looked smoking hot in that outfit, and that was the sexiest thing she’d ever done until after we got married."
Storyteller678
NDA
"Slept with a hotel guest all over the hotel and it was caught on camera, including on the clock. Because of the NDA we all had to sign, and their post on Instagram about how marvelous the hotel was to their following, I got away with it. But it was a funny meeting where my remediation was 'don't ever freaking do that again... but nice job.'"
DrJOsterman
Some outfits make magic.
I like Home Depot
"Had sex on the dishwashers in receiving at Lowes, with my fling at the time. That fling and I have been happily married for 12 years."
glittereddaisy13
Let's Play
"Went to a pro dominatrix. I apparently didn’t regret it since I’m seeing her tomorrow as well. Honestly it was a lot more chill than I expected. She was more than happy to just talk. Genuinely seemed like a nice person which put me at ease. I think it was mostly what I expected..."
Project_Legion
It Was Fun
"Was flirting with this person at work for a really long time but never did anything because work relationships are just too much drama. One day the power went out and I used a flashlight to get to the water machine in the big, infrequently used storage room that it was kept in."
"I’m sitting at a desk in the corner, reading my phone in the mostly dark, enjoying the quiet like a weirdo when she wanders in. We talked a bit and joked that it would be fun to go in the closet and have sex and if we thought anyone would find us. It was fun and no one found us."
Nippon-Gakki
48 Hours
"When I was in the army I decided to take a bus home from central Texas to northeastern Pennsylvania. It was a 48 hour trip. Somewhere south of Washington DC a woman gets on the bus and sits next to me as it's the only available seat. We start talking and hit it off."
"Later that night when it was nice and dark we sneak into the bathroom on the bus and get it on. We were supposed to get together later in the week but plans fell through. I heard from her once after that when she mailed me a letter with a photo of us someone took for us. I never heard from her again."
solemn_penguin
Plus 2
"My fiancée cheated on me 2 weeks before the wedding. I shagged both of his brothers no regrets."
rowenaravenclaw0
As savage as that move is... should y'all be married?
Do you have any stories to get off your chest? Let us know in the comments below.
People Describe The Creepiest Thing They've Ever Experienced That Chilled Them To The Bone
The older you get you realize... there are things that go bump in the night.
There can be danger around every corner.
And yes... somebody may actually be in the closet.
So being constantly creeped out is a norm.
Redditor unripenedboyparts wanted to hear about the horrors we've all been witness to, so they asked:
"What is the creepiest thing you’ve seen in the woods, or in the mountains, or in deserts, or caves, or in small towns, or in big cities, or in hotels, or in remote or rural areas, or while asleep, or home alone, or while on large bodies of water, or while on an aircraft or a nautical vessel?"
I don't camp.
I don't hike.
I don't do wilderness.
And this is why...
Textures
"Coming out of anesthesia from open heart surgery, every time I closed my eyes I could see a perfectly formed brick wall inches from my face. I could see the texture of the bricks through the paint, the mortar, all in perfect detail. Every time I changed rooms, the wall would change colors."
GlobalPhreak
The Wolf
"I was up north. Far North British Columbia, Canada working in a (oil) rig camp out in the woods. I was working as a cook, I went out one afternoon for a smoke on the back deck. It was about 2 o'clock n the afternoon. It was a very quiet, still winter day. It was snowing those kind of big snowflakes that make it look like the world is moving in slow motion."
"So as I was standing there smoking, just staring off in the distance not looking at anything particular... you know looking left right, up down at my feet whatever. I felt something looking at me. Then I looked straight ahead. About 30 feet or less in front of me was the tree line of the forest, and directly in front of me in-between two trees I see the most gigantic wolf I have ever seen."
"This thing sitting looked like it was the size of a man standing. It was massive, sitting there and just staring right at me. We locked eyes, then I looked away for a split second and then looked back and it was gone. I don't know, it just gave me the weirdest feeling. It was definitely like, "hey.. I see you, I could eat you... butttt I won't, k byeee"
"Something I'll always remember."
vatersgonnavate
It’s absolutely unnerving...
"I live in a really remote part of Alaska. I think the scariest thing I’ve ever encountered is how silent the woods/tundra can be in the dead of winter. I’m talking like 'I feel like I am about to go insane' quiet. It’s absolutely unnerving. I become hyper aware of my heart beat and my breathing sounds like a f**king airplane taking off."
"And I know a lot of people will say 'it’s because a predator was near by' nah man, some places up here just have nothing. That’s what really freaks me out. I am absolutely alone in this one spot. I could drop dead and no one would ever find my body."
idontcareilikedogs
The Sow
"I rounded a corner in a trail in the Appalachian Mountains and came face to face with a sow black bear and her cub. Same situation, we locked eyes, she seemed to convey - look dude, I can un alive you in a second, but I’m not about it today so just be patient while I dig these bugs outta this hillside. I sat and watched this bear and cub for prob 20 mins at a safe-ish distance."
m0992104
Who Are You??
"There must be wilderness dwelling gamers out there, because I found a pile of xbox games in the mountains. Like two dozen in a pile in a remote location."
LittleBkGuy1
Those gamers are sneaky.
It Flies
"Hallucinated a flying whale alongside the night time flight from Alberta to Ontario when I was 12. It was snow white, seemed friendly enough. Roughly the size of a blue whale."
jakebreakshow
Onto the Rocks
"It happened when me and my parents were on vacation to some place near Spain when I was still little. We went to a little beach at some coastal town where I then immediately jumped into the sea with my swimming goggles on. I then crawled on to some rocks and walked around until I noticed a crab sitting on the rocks."
"I then traversed them carefully while trying to catch it, but it kept crawling away. This continued until I then followed it to a point where the little bay I was in ended and the open ocean began. So then little me decided that it was a good idea to jump into the open water to see if there was anything cool down there. I then jumped in, and I was immediately hit with the cold temperature of actual ocean water."
"But the worst part was that even with my goggles on, I couldn't see anything down there. I was met with a giant black void. No fish, no plants, no rocks. Nothing. I then immediately turned around and began swimming back as quick as I could. And since that moment I haven't gone beyond the shallows ever again."
Successful-Seaweed12
Orbs
"This was almost a decade ago; I live in a town outside of Phoenix, AZ. It was late in the afternoon as the sun was starting to set. I went out in the backyard to smoke a cigarette and play fetch with my dog. As I was throwing the ball I noticed a small orb shoot from the ground directly into the sky."
"A few seconds later another one followed, and another, and another, and another. It didn’t stop for a few minutes. At first I thought it was a Roman candle but I just couldn’t hear but you’d normally hear them fizzing as the fly. I couldn’t hear anything. It was dead silent. To this day, I still don’t know what those were."
ThurSTIII
Appendages
"When I was a kid in the early 80's my parents had a house they rented out to people. We were cleaning it out after a set of unsatisfactory tenants and I was going through the kitchen cupboards making sure they were empty. I saw a mason jar tucked way back in the corner of one of the top shelves so I hopped up on the counter, stretched my arm, grabbed it and hopped back down. When I looked at the jar I saw a finger floating in a clear liquid. I set it down on the counter, walked out of the kitchen and called, 'Mom, I found a finger!'"
Narmer_3100
Jiggles
"I was on a fishing boat just off the Pacific coast and there was an earthquake. The water jiggled a bit as we heard a boom and a quick shake. Only time I was on water during an earthquake."
teebpix
This is why I don't fish. Not even on dry land.
Do you have any bizarre experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Once people graduate from high school, a lot of them know what they want to do career-wise, but they may not totally know where they want to go or who they want to be.
And while the twenties are the time to figure that out, there are some ways that people can really mess up their future if they aren't careful about how they spend their time.
Redditor KadduUltimate asked:
"What is the worst mistake one can make in their 20s?"
Know Your Worth
"28-year-old here. Best advice. Learn to actually enjoy your surroundings."
"But the absolute best advice I can give. You're an adult now. You are allowed to make boundaries and stick to them. Unhappy with something? Leave or fix it. I gave up way too much time feeding into useless issues."
"Oh, and smile more. People seem to like people that smile."
- Frosted_underscore
Think Through Parenthood First
"Having a kid."
"As someone who didn't have kids, and watching my peers growing up and the lives they lead and how hard they have it... wait forever. It's bliss. Plenty of money left over for savings, retirement, and vacations."
- KimmyPops
Learn How to Invest
"Not the worst mistake, but if you haven’t yet, open a ROTH IRA and start contributing… compound interest is a thing."
- FloobieToobins
Value Family
"Spend time with your parents while they and you are young! Don’t get so caught up in doing absolutely everything all the time that you forget the people who got you to that point. They, too, are racing time."
- flowerchild_3
Watch Out for College Debt
"Do not incur a mortgage-size debt in college tuition."
"You might be forced to continue taking classes to keep from starting the payment clock., while you also incur more debt. Also, you can't use bankruptcy to remove it."
"Instead, learn a trade: bring trade schools back. learn more about who you are and what you are interested in before taking on another lifetime commitment thing the boomers screwed up for us because 'screw you, they got theirs.'"
- cyrixlord
Watch Out for ANY Debt
"Credit card debt. Took us forever to get everything square after many dumb decisions and opening of multiple cards in our twenties."
- Ube_Ape
Expensive Items Don't Bring Happiness
"Signing a commitment for a high-priced place to live or car."
"Too many young kids believe they deserved fancy and nice, especially to impress others, and they end up scraping for dollars because of it."
- clem82
Giving In to Societal Pressure
"Thinking they have to start their whole life and career and be a homeowning family by 30... or be viewed as lazy, or my personal favorite, as 'wasting their potential.'"
- Suitable-Ad6145
Love Doesn't Have to Be Rushed
"Marriage."
"You and your partner are going to change so much between age 20 and age 40, neither of you will be the same people, and divorce is almost guaranteed."
"Wait until you're done with school and/or established in your careers."
- ConansMonorail
Dental Care
"Brush your teeth guys! And floss! The money needed to fix teeth is staggering in most places. Not even just the US!"
"Brush and floss twice a day! You'll be so thankful you did!"
- appleparkfive
Doing Time
"Going to jail. Don't break the law, kids."
- Thecooleo
Life Continues After Your 20s
"Thinking you’re supposed to peak in your 20s creatively, emotionally, sexually, and professionally."
"My 30s were when I learned that my 20s didn’t define me. My 40s have been f**king incredible. Hang in there."
- VampireCircus
Poor Healthcare
"Actively neglected my health in my 20s to maintain employment. Now my knees and elbows crack very loudly and it hurts when they do."
"Also, not all wounds are visible. I thought I was perfectly fine when I was 22. I thought everything was temporary. Holy f**k was I wrong."
- bumboclawt
Don't Forget 'Back to the Future' and 'The Terminator'
"Time travel."
"If you're a kid, the time cops will let you off with a warning, but as soon as you're older, any fluctuation in the continuum gets you 8 cycles in the penumbra."
"In your 20s, you're just not going to have the intuition to avoid causing ripples. Just wait until you're 30 and your chrono-mentor approves you for your first jaunt."
- Khaosus
It's Not an All-Or-Nothing Situation
" I think it’s important to remember that even if you screw up and make some bad choices in your 20s, you can still recover."
- OhNoSweetJeebusNo
Just like how some people think that high school is the ultimate time of their lives, others feel this pressure for every important detail of their life to take place in their twenties.
But the twenties are just the years where people figure out who they are and set the stage for the rest of their lives. They should be lived responsibly and safely, but they don't have to be taken seriously all the time, either.
We get it, we're all super busy, and sometimes it's really hard to get all the chores done around work and living our lives.
But there are appliances we can have in our home, like a dishwasher, that can make those chores much more convenient.
However, they could really ruin our day, too, if we use them incorrectly.
Redditor Loud-Situation2643 asked:
"What should never go into the dishwasher?"
Can This Go Without Saying?
"The toilet brush! I read a story here about somebody that does that regularly."
- BOFHOOC
"That’s disturbing. I had a landlord tell me to put my cat’s litter box in the dishwasher weekly to keep the cat smell down. I did not take her up on that advice."
- annissamazing
"Your toilet brush. My friend found out the hard way her housemate was doing this WHILE DOING THE DISHES."
- raz0rflea
Apparently... Dinner?
"Fish. I worked apartment maintenance and a lovely old couple ruined, like, three dishwashers in a row by using them to steam fish. Very gross, considering the pre-wash cycle uses the gray water from the last cycle."
"Smelled pretty bad, too."
- poppykayak
"Lasagna."
- SiloueOfUlrin
High-Quality Knives
"I'll admit, we run some knives through, but only the crummy ones. The good ones, NEVER, and ideally those are hand-washed right away after use and not left to sit with anything on them."
- InannasPocket
Cast Iron Accessories
"I found a La Creuset Dutch Oven on clearance sale at crate and barrel of all places. I immediately bought it. Still, a lot of money to spend, but it was the best purchase I ever made for my kitchen."
"I fully understand why people pass these down from generation to generation. It’s in amazing condition for the number of times I’ve used it. And it’s dishwasher safe!"
"I still hand wash mine, because it’s like a child to me, and I don’t trust my partner to handle it! I always said I’d be a chef if I didn’t love what I do right now. So the fancy kitchen stuff I have always gets hand washed."
"P.S. their website says it’s dishwasher safe, but they recommend a hand wash for longevity and because the enamel can eventually wear down in a dishwasher."
- TheGhostofGiggy
Also, Wooden Kitchen Accessories
"Wooden Cutting boards."
- theSealclubberr
"This is one of my luxuries in life. Using a machine to wash your wooden spoons will shorten their life by a lot. Hand washed and well cared for a wooden spoon will last decades."
"A set of bamboo wooden spoons is like $12, so I buy a new set every year or two. $12 to not hand wash every night? Yes please."
- mwbbrown
Liquid Dish Soap. Enough Said.
"My daughter did this once, WOW, what a soapy disaster."
- CRCs_Reality
Also, Laundry Detergent
"When I first moved into my own apartment, my mom gave me a sandwich bag full of about a dozen detergent pods as a 'These will help you start off on your own' gesture."
"The first night of living in my own apartment, I fired up the dishwasher. 20 minutes later while playing video games, I noticed this wave of suds moving toward me from the kitchen. When I say a wave, I mean it. I have never seen so many d**n bubbles."
"That’s how I learned my wonderful mom gave me both dishwasher detergent pods AND laundry detergent pods in the same sandwich bag. I had a 50/50 odds and boy did I lose, lmao (laughing my a** off)."
"Needless to say, this happening on my first night living on my own had me questioning what I was doing, and if I would be better off living in my mom’s basement for the rest of eternity."
- mitten_man69
We Need a Storytime for This One
"The part of the blender that says, 'Do Not Immerse.'"
- PomeloLongjumping537
Protect the Detailed Glassware at All Costs
"All my PRETENTIOUS fancy brewery glasses. Those designs are staying where they are."
- JonathanWattsAuthor
"I put a printed shot glass into the dishwasher that was part of a set. It came out clean all right, picture completely dissolved."
- Luneowl
That Would Be Terrible
"Your secret cash stash."
- ThinkingOz
Ew ew ew.
"Mashed potato residue. Oh my god, it gets on EVERYTHING. Especially if the chunks are too large to fit through the filter. It just sits in the water and coats everything."
- ioncloud9
For the 'Friends' Fans Out There
"Paper, snow… A ghost!"
- TheAceBoogie
Divorce.
"I found out recently, you aren't supposed to put your girlfriend's collectible Starbucks cups in there."
"They melt."
- scumbag801
Reddit's Got Jokes
"A baby."
- DrunkWestTexan
"As a new father, I wish you'd told me earlier."
- ancalime9
And Feathered Jokes
"A duck."
- beetus_gerulaitis
"Who are you that you are so wise in the ways of science?"
- MacTechG4
While dishwashers were invented to make our lives a little bit easier when it's time to wash the dishes, there are some items that, when placed in there, could really ruin someone's day.