Love is complicated. It's not like the movies. It's more like a Taylor Swift song or an Adele album. That's why they're so popular! Relationships can be difficult to navigate, especially if one partner can't pass strangers without falling into a bed. What's better is the excuses one uses for cheating. People are shocking.
Redditor u/sirkeylord was dying to know... What's the worst excuse you've heard for cheating?
50. What else?
My favorite: "the only reason I didn't cheat on you the last 3 months was because the job I had didn't give me an opportunity."
Another favorite: "well, I gave her a ride home and she didn't have cash, what else was I supposed to do?" Hilarious_83
Well, what else was he supposed to do? NOT cheat!? Don't be ridiculous. MattNemo
49. Written in the Stars...
My ex was very into astrology. She cheated and later blamed the great American eclipse of August 2017. SaltyStrength
Was she a fire bender and lost her powers or something? grantchart
48. Pig!
"My wife was pregnant, so I wasn't getting any." my_future_wife
Ironic considering the best sex I ever had was with a pregnant girl. 10/10 would do again. Sporaticeratic
47. Whack!
Ex girlfriend cheated when I fell asleep. . . said "since I wasn't responding, she assumed I was doing the same, so she cheated." Whack. drusey3
Well yeah, people who cheat assume everyone else is cheating. She was probably being honest when she said that. carnivoreinyeg
46. Well if you didn't have fun...
"I didn't even enjoy it because I was thinking about you the whole time and I felt terrible." btallredi
Have heard a variation of this. It made the situation worse because not only was he claiming to be thinking of me throughout the whole thing, but then ALSO making the decision to continue. Like halfway through, "Wait what about my partner.... naaaaah imma keep goin." nice_ghosty
45. Damn Tinder...
"I'm just on tinder to confirm that there's nothing better out there. It helps me appreciate you more." pdxcranberry
I created a fake tinder profile so my wife and I could see what it was all about - we met long before tinder was a thing. While scrolling through, we came across my brother's girlfriend's profile.
Fortunately though, she'd just forgotten to delete her profile. Thehotnesszn
44. Excuse me?
College roommate would cheat on his girlfriend a few times a semester, then feel awful about it and realize how much he loved his girlfriend.
He started to rationalize that "you need to cheat to stay faithful." Sully1102
43. No Tarts for you!
A friend in college cheated on his girlfriend because she told him he had to stop eating pop tarts to lose weight, and he didn't know how to break up with her. When she found out, he straight up told her to her face he couldn't give up pop tarts. I wish that was a lie, those things are high as hell in calories. Krunzuku
42. The Spirits told me to.
My buddy's dad was diagnosed with Colon cancer. He starts going to chemo and his wife starts going out with some other guy. His sister found out his mom was cheating on his dad so she told my buddy and he sat his dad down and talked to him.
Dad confronts cheating mom and she says (paraphrasing) "my fortune teller told me that the best way to get over your death would be to start something new with someone else."
Now mind you, his dad is not dead, or really even close. The cancer is responding well to chemo, and he's been slowly getting better. She literally tried justifying cheating on him because he might die....
She no longer lives in the house, and she, best to my knowledge, has been ex-communicated from the family. Reddit
41. How touching...
"It's not like it meant anything." Oh good, glad we cleared that up. Maxmoose800
Same. That actually made it worse to me. Like damn, if you would've been madly in love with him and just couldn't restrain your emotions, I mean I would still hate you but at least it would've been better than "I don't have to care about someone to f**k them even though you and I are together" haha. Nickbotic
40. Office Drama.
My ex: "he (her boss, married with 3 kids) offered me a (higher) position in the new company he was going to work at." Don't know, I ended the relationship and didn't look back. Pokemongolover
39. 2 Days.
Bestie was in the hospital having emergency surgery. Her family told her then-bf Sam, he never responded or showed. Cheated on her with a girl from high school, claiming "Well she didn't answer for 2 days!!" Yeah because she was nearly dead, forget you Sam. P_princess
38. Damn Penis.
"A penis has no conscience."
My late brother-in-law used that one. I used to think "Yeah, but the penis its attached to is supposed to." What's worse is my SISTER excused him by claiming (1) he had self-esteem issues and cheating made him feel better about himself (2) an accident left him with the emotional maturity of a 17 year-old so he couldn't control himself and (3) all men do it. sadjenny
37. The Monogamy Disease.
When they get caught, they try to play the "humans aren't meant to be monogamous" card. I'm like "if you don't believe in monogamy, why did you even marry in the first place only to cheat later? You could join a free love hippies commune at any time. But that's not what you did." moderate-painting
36. It's Always Stress.....
My ex-wife's. We'd been together since before university, been together through university (different uni's, same city), then got engaged and married after Uni. When I got my first actual big job after my graduation job a couple of years later we had to move across the country. She had been excited about the move, found a new job and got really involved in choosing the apartment we'd rent whilst we got set up and planning kitchen items she'd buy with my extra pay... it all seemed good and she genuinely seemed pretty excited for it.
About 2 weeks before the main move (I was already working there and commuting back and forth) I find out she's cheated, and then that she's cheated in the past and then that she cheated a year or more ago.
Her excuse: stress. Worried about moving to a new city? Bone a guy. Worried about your new job? Bone a guy. Worried about exams? Bone a guy.
She genuinely tried to make me feel sorry for her that she got so stressed that she had no option but to go and sleep with other people. I agreed with her that if that were true she had real problems and needed help, but disagreed that it was going to be my problem anymore.
It was a long time ago now, but a real eye-opener about other people lol. Can't be too angry though as we got married too young and the years that followed my divorce were some of the best of my life. Plus if it weren't for that I wouldn't have met my wife or have the family I have now, so all for the best in the end. Jjex22
35. Out of Area....
Someone once told me, "It doesn't count if its in a different zip code." And I noped right the heck out.
A, S.O. I had once told me, "Well I wouldn't have cheated if you were around." When I was on a two week pre planned trip. And he couldn't see why I'd break up with him over it. whateverlizard
34. Nothing.
I (25f) was married for 6 years and caught my husband cheating his response "i got nothing." That was it. swalto203
I have the most wonderful wife and I can never imagine cheating on her, but if I did and got caught, that would absolutely be my exact response. "I've got nothin'." alwaysaproject
33. Not true.
"Everybody cheats."
No, no they don't. If they do, they are crappy. lookitsblackman
A pet theory of mine about how much people hate when someone who's been cheated on calls it out publicly (other than the general how dare you interrupt my day sort of thing) is that any time you call out your ex as a cheating piece of crap, at least 30% of your audience is like "hey! I resemble that remark!" Tadhgdagis
32. Nice Try.
"You weren't around and she reminded me of you so you should feel flattered." selahoya
This actually made me mad reading it. sirkeylord
31. I'm going to punch you.
"Kissing is like holding hands, so it's not cheating, friends sometimes hold each other's hands. Maybe if I were doing it with lots of guys everyday, but that was a two times thing! Also, it was only a oral, it's not like we slept with each other, that would be cheating." valyriaed
30. Otherwise Engaged.
I said to a woman once, I'm married and she said, "that's ok, I'm married too." Reddit
"I'm engaged." "So am I. I don't see either of them here, though, do you?"
You don't see me here any more, either. See ya. DadJokesFTW
29. Exercise.
It was an exercise move that needed two people, to be naked in the shower. Reddit
And that's why I can't teach gym class anymore. spiritbx
28. Whoops....
I tripped and fell in between her skirt. Jimmy4SGF
And then tripped again for a good 50 times. And then fell on the floor and she tried to get up by standing up on top of me but she kept tripping about 20 times and then she started tripping faster for the next 12 times. After which she stopped tripping and walked away in shame while I sat there crying about how lonely I am. M0shka
27. Proof.....
"I felt like I wasn't good enough for you." wanalibi
Well... They proved themselves. sirkeylord
26. That Works?
"If you slept with me you'd be helping my relationship because we could have sex and then I'd go see her and last longer in bed."
Shockingly enough I said no. nochedetoro
I wonder how many times he tried that line and if it ever worked. Hopefully not. hobbitdude13
25. Dead Love.
I actually just found out I got cheated on a couple of days ago. Her excuse was "the relationship was dead" well maybe for you it was.
Safe to say, it definitely is now. Solar_Maniack
24. Taste the Rainbow....
"We were having a great time hanging out and she brought me Skittles!" Reddit
Who wouldn't sell off their relationship themselves for a bag of skittles?? Reddit
23. Gross....
"She came into my bedroom and took her clothes off. What was I supposed to do?" marcvsHR
Kick her out and report her for sexual harassment? Reddit
22. That's why you should floss....
One morning I went to brush my teeth and my toothbrush was wet... I found that odd, so I asked my girlfriend if she used the blue toothbrush, she said "yeah" all casual. I said that the pink toothbrush was hers and she played it off like she didn't know.
I suddenly realized that we had been using the same toothbrush for a few weeks and it kind of grossed me out. That started a very small argument. I went to work as did she, but she didn't come home that night. The next morning I called her out and she admitted that she slept with another guy that didn't think she was gross. atlasbranded
21. Oh Ross....
"I thought we had been on a break." CheshireGrin92
WE WERE ON A BREAK!! RaeVonn
You ever looked back at that character he is the worst, Ross was a "nice" guy if I've ever seen one I mean this is a character who lied about annulling a marriage because it was injuring his self esteem. livingdeadfreak
20. It Always Counts....
I was told that cheating isn't a real thing unless you're married. danoll
I've heard that one! And the guy who said it for years, who would use it as an excuse to cheat on his girlfriend because they weren't married, as soon as he got married, he was cheating on his wife too! keetstreet
19. Untied.
"I'm young and don't want to be tied down to somebody."
That's fine, but instead of cheating on somebody who thinks you actually care about them, specify that you're not looking for anything serious to begin with. holuvate
18. One Way or Another....
"One thing led to another..." as if it was just inevitable and couldn't be helped. Reddit
Adolf Hitler was a promising young art student. One thing led to another, and the United States dropped two atomic bombs on the sovereign nation of Japan! the_twelfth_dr
17. Lazy Answer.
I didn't think I would get caught. sarzec
"I thought you'd left!" - said to my college roommate when she left a party at her boyfriend's house, realized she'd forgotten something, went back and found him in his bedroom with someone else. She dumped him and it became a running gag for us to yell it at each other at random times. "Hey, can you get my lunch from the fridge for me?" "I thought you'd left!" Reddit
16. Call God.
She was Christian, I was not. She basically told me God made her cheat on me because he will not bless mixed religion relationships. So it was my fault. wall_of_swine
I think she needs to take another look at the commandments. Wheatley67
15. Classic....
''Drunk'' Aurhs
I think about 90% of the times an excuse is used for cheating, it involves alcohol, as if somehow that doesn't make it count. sirkeylord
14. Closed....
Married friend of mine agreed to a threesome with hubby once. He then started sleeping around with other women when she wasn't present, claiming that she agreed to the threesome so it's okay and she can't be mad. Sadly she stayed with him and now they're in an "open relationship," meaning he can bring women home but she can't sleep with anyone else. She's miserable. enematowel
13. Be Detailed....
A friend of mine: "How could you? I trusted you!"
Her (now) ex: "If you didn't want me to cheat, you should have said so!"
Really have to have a twisted mindset to believe cheating is the default option. 😐 Callentino
12. Fool!
She was contacting him a lot and when I found out that it had led somewhere and confronted him on it, word for word he said he 'didn't want to be a fool to her.' I was like, 'You didn't want to be a fool to HER? You're being a fool to ME!' Eskatrene
11. But we decided....
Her "Remember we talked about having an open relationship!"
Yeah and I said I'm not comfortable with that and you said ok. Had I known that ok was code for "I'm going to sleep with two of my coworkers at the same time while you're at your cousin's funeral" Then I'd have told you to screw off when you brought it up instead. RC_COW
10. Cured.
My girlfriend at the time and I were at a concert. I lost her for 1 set and then caught her making out with her friend. She told me she had cancer and wanted to experience as much as she could before she died. We then broke up (of course) and months later she told me that a priest cured her cancer and that she wanted to get back together. thicccdoggo
9. The Ex.
My ex husband cheated on me with some married woman because he didn't like how her husband talked to her. Well he probably talked to her like she was crappy because she was crappy. Throwawayxxx8
Probably something like "Yeah, you like that, you damn moron?" kaloonzu
8. It's Me, not you...
That it was my fault she slept with three different guys, because I didn't do enough for her
Yeah, paying the rent, and for her car, and going out to dinner once a week (minimum) as well as spending what time I could with her wasn't enough apparently.
Followed up by "well I was going to end it anyway so it's not really cheating, we're more like roommates I'd say, I was gonna suggest we just keep living together even after this."
Like... after 6 years I was supposed to want to be room mates/friends with her? Just so I could pay for everything still? zornyan
7. A Fairytale...
"It was a mistake, I messed up. she didn't mean anything anyway."
We had sex, he said he loved me. the next day, while i worked a 14 hour day so i had the next day off to spend with him, he went on tinder, found a match, set up a bowling date, took her home and had her stay the night. all the while texting me telling me how much he couldn't wait to spend the next day with me. i told him i hoped he found the Cinderella of his dreams. BirdDog360
6. Grow up....
Not an excuse but I had my coworkers tell me I was being "childish and immature" for saying cheating is 100% a deal breaker, and unforgivable.
They said there are "certain circumstances" that make it forgivable.
And I told them I don't care what the circumstances are. Once you break someone's, someone you supposedly care deeply about, trust like that? It's done. No repeats, no second chances. You cheat? We're done. End of.
They still called me childish and naive. These are people in their 40s. rizcriz
5. Beware the Demon....
In high school I dated this guy who was pretty mentally unstable. He claimed he had a demon inside of him (100% sure it was some multiple-personality disorder or something similar) and he said that his "demon" needed to find a mate too, and it wasn't fair for him to be stuck with me too like his "host," my bf, was.
Well I was 15 and stupid (and terrified of being dumped) so after a lot of crying and pleading for him to not cheat, I eventually gave in.
Man if I could go back in time and slap 15 year old me. SharpieScentedSoap
4. Makes Sense....
The ends justify the means, basically. Kid was a prick.
"The grades are more important to me than learning. My dad has a job position for me even if i get caught. I'm good at it too. I made straight A's last year and didn't study at all" SearchingForKokomo
3. I just heard....
"I'm sorry, I've just never had anyone interested in me before."
Um... hey fool, what about me?
He told me this after I confronted him after a friend told me. catcatmewow
2. Get a Therapist....
She talked to five dudes behind my back and screwed 2 others, for months, what did she say to me "I had to do it, you know my secret"
("What secret that you're an attention seeker?" this was via text and I had cut her off)
"I have trust issues"
2 days later she had a new boyfriend, after threatening to kill herself over me, claiming she never loved me, blaming me for her problems, and threatening me, fun times. SupremeMemeCreamTeam
1. My Bad....
"You're always working and I'm lonely! It's not like I slept with anyone, there's no one on there anyway!"
Said by my ex-fiance when I caught him on a dozen dating sites, sexting and trying to talk a bunch of BIGGER women into sleeping with him. I mean he wasn't lying, I was working all the time so I could, you know... MAKE MONEY FOR US TO LIVE ON. Screw me right?! I guess if I'd paid more attention to him he wouldn't have "had" to seek attention from other women.
Damn boob. nymphaetamine
All of us have fears which some might call irrational.
Up to and including ghosts, witches, monsters.
But more often than not, reality can be far scarier than the supernatural.
And there are very few people indeed who don't have a memory of a moment when they were truly and genuinely scared.
And not by an otherworldly encounter, but by things that could quite literally happen to anyone.
Redditor GodhimselfUwU was curious to hear the scariest experiences people have lived through, leading them to ask:
"What’s the scariest non-supernatural thing that ever happened to you?"
Intruder
"I was 14, alone at my grandmas house around midnight."
"She was across the street at the bar she owned."
"I was playing games on her computer, about 15 feet from one of the windows facing the backyard."
"All of a sudden the glass from that window shatters, and I ran to one of the bedrooms."
"I can hear my name being called."
"Eventually I see my grandma's ex-boyfriend enter the living room where the computer is."
"He keeps saying my name."
"I’m scared sh*tless, but I walk out and confront him."
"He says my grandma stole his ID and that’s what he came for, as he’s taking money from my grandmas purse."
"He looks f*cked up on something."
"I forget how he leaves but when he does I call the bar and people come over looking for him."
"They didn’t find him."
"About a year later he did it again, and I was once again alone there."
"Except this time instead of breaking a window he decides to try to kick the side door in."
"I’m just there chilling when out of nowhere I hear the loudest bangs coming from the side of the house and I instantly knew what was happening."
"I immediately called the bar and they sent a bunch of people over before he could make it in."
"He apparently tried to jump from one of her sheds into the alley next to her house and broke his leg."
"He went to prison."- nfreshn
They're coming right for us!
"Two bison charging right toward me down a narrow wooded path in Yellowstone when I was 12."- pcc2
Uncomfortable in new surroundings.
"My sister has mental health issues."
"We were in a foreign country, driving across mountains on a one lane dirt road with no guardrails."
"She had a complete mental breakdown and threatened many times to drive off the edge."
"To this day, my mom swears my sister wouldn't have done it."
"All I say is, 'you weren't in the car'."
"'You have no idea'."- BlorengeJulius
Lost in the woods.
"Getting lost on 350 acres of woods in southeast Georgia."
"Was found about 6 hours later."
The dog found me hours before the people did.- No_Regrats_42
A near death experience.
"Was working as a linemen tasked to replace a 16m wooden power pole which requires climbing up to untie the lines from the isolators."
"I checked if the pole had any rot beforehand, climbed up, untied the lines, climbed down, as I was packing my tools up , the pole fell from its own."- LimaRadek
He wasn't who he claimed to be.
"A man claiming to be a meter reader was in our yard and tried the back door AFTER trying the front."
"It was unlocked because there was a field behind us and our gate had a lock, that he somehow got by."
"The meter reader man was nearly eaten by our Great Dane who was dumb and peaceful, except for when she laid eyes on him."
"Our other dog also wanted to kill him and he was up on our trampoline begging us to call the dogs off, which we, my then 11 year old sister and I, refused to do and went to get our dad, who worked from home."
"The guy escaped while we got our dad and my dad let the police know what happened."
"The real meter reader man came the next week."- Applesintheorchard
Had no idea what they were witnessing.
"I guess watching a loved one have a seizure when I didn’t understand what it was."
"Legit thought I witnessed a death."
"Scary stuff."- Peppapigisgodly
Always look both ways.
"I got hit by a car while in a crosswalk a few months back."
"Had a split second where I saw him coming and realized what was about to happen."
"I thought I was going to die."- jolalolalulu
Big Sister to the Rescue.
"Saved my sisters life."
"We were boating and my parents just kinda assumed we’d be ok with them only out a couple hundred feet."
"I was about 17 and she was about 7."
"I’m laying there chilling and see her slip and fall into the water and just straight up sink."
"Ran over, dove in and pulled her to shore."
"She spit up a bunch of water and was fine but that experience rocked me to my core."
"Not a super crazy story but almost seeing a sibling die has always stuck with me."
"I’ve broken almost every bone in my body, I died one time and was in a coma for a little bit but for some reason this one stuck with me."- Present-Trip5231
Often, an experience that left us scared does make for a good story down the line.
Though whether it was a good enough story to make having gone through the experience worth it, is debatable.
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Having to work for a living is hard work.
Some jobs come with difficulty and two extra sides of stress.
So the last thing people need is unwarranted hate.
I'm so glad I work from home. Writing alone.
I have issues with me, but that I can deal with.
I do hate internet issues.
But that is warranted.
Redditor PM_ME_URFOOD wanted to talk about the jobs where a ridiculous amount of vitriol is all part of a days work. They asked:
"What profession gets an unjustified amount of hate?"
Waiting tables was always the bane of my existence. Customers are rude. Staff is rude. It never ends.
Filthy Hours
"Trash men. They’re looked down on as dirty and uneducated, but they do a hard job that is absolutely critical to our public health."
kirkl3s
You're Out!
"Youth sports officials. I umpire baseball as a hobby and the way parents act is deplorable."
kennsing75
"The parents on the other hand deserve loads of hate sometimes. I was a coach for soccer and volleyball while I was in the Air Force. You would have loved to be a sports official for our leagues at our base. If a parent got sh**ty they are immediately ejected, no questions, and reported to whoever is their higher authority. It almost never happened."
DaniTheLovebug
Behind the Counter
"Any customer (client/patient) facing job. They get the abuse that stems from managements decisions, mistakes and incompetence."
HighlyOffensive10
"I did customer service for automotive companies at a call center for years. People get so unhinged, between dealerships, management, people calling into the wrong department, angry customers who were itching for a fight over a rental car. The job paid for five free therapy sessions a year, but honestly, it would take every ounce of restraint not to break some days."
"You aren't allowed to defend yourself or hang up, you can't transfer them to supervisors for a call, you technically work for a third party company that exists to keep the customer from ever actually speaking to the corporation. It was the worst job I've ever had, and that's coming from someone who used to work at a seafood processing plant."
Bromelia_and_Bismuth
I'm Hungry
"Food service. The workers have to eat too, you know."
stinky_cheese33
"Working fast food sucked. Not because the job was hard. But because people were *icks. For like, no reason. Working in an actual kitchen also sucked. Not because the work was hard, but because you never did it quick enough and your boss was a *ick for like no reason. But at least you didn't deal with customers."
thedankbank1021
Too much stress...
"Defense attorneys. People hate them because they defend violent criminals. However, as one lawyer put it, their job is not just to defend these people; their job is also to make sure that the cops did their job correctly."
TomoyoHoshijiro
I've always wondered about defense attorneys. How do they reconcile their morals?
They're Smart Too
"I live in Germany and currently in my (hopefully) last semester of university to become a pharmacist (4 years of university, one practical year and three exams of state required). A lot of people here think pharmacists are only cashiers and don’t know we get a scientific education. And God help me if I question a doctor's decision."
this_is_lune
Hard Hours
"I usually just lurk as a guest, but I made a Reddit account just for this. Cooks for public schools. They are constantly overworked, underpaid, and disrespected. Most schools have only a few ovens and microwaves, so school chefs have to either jam unsafe amounts of frozen food into ovens and microwaves, which is a giant fire hazard, or work non-stop from early morning."
Clingitty
Green Thumbed
"Plant breeders and plant geneticists. Imagine you're a plant nerd and you spend your life studying genetics so you can figure out how to improve food crops. Like, to make them yield more, taste better, be healthier, survive drought, etc. But on the internet, you're apparently trying to poison the world and control the food supply."
kjhvm
Heartless
"Veterinarians. My doctors CONSTANTLY get yelled at or called heartless when, for instance, we refer them to a hospital more suited to care for the animal than us. Like bro we didn't just tell you know we are giving you options and trying to ensure you seek the proper care. Don't call me a heartless b**tard for that crap."
Zfullz
No Fun Involved
"Janitors. Trash-related work. Sewage workers. Plumbing."'
SubiWhale
I feel for everyone in these jobs. They deserve better.
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Short of having a shopping addiction, no one actually likes spending money on stuff.
Why would you ever willingly give it away? It's your money!
Which might be why it feels so bad when you have to spend money of something that should be free from the beginning. People/ corporations are going to chase that cheddar, though, so there's little you can do besides complain, which frankly might be the best thing the internet is for.
Reddit user, woodside37, wanted to know what we should never have to pay for again when they asked:
"What should be free?"
Let's get these out of the way first...No, let's get this first one out of the way first.
Hidden fees are the worst.
Hidden. F***ing. Fees.
"Transaction/processing fees when you order a digital product online. Such as a concert ticket, where you pay 6 euro extra while you pay online, and have to print the ticket yourself."
rickmitchel
"Or processing fees to pay bills that you need. Duke energy charges a $7 processing fee for you to pay your energy bill. Like wtf."
CrispyCrunchyPoptart
Pay To Pee
"Public bathrooms! The amount of human piles of poop around because the homeless have no where to relieve themselves!"
AuntyMarcy
"Live in a very tourist-y part of the U.K., all public toilets charge and most cafes/pubs/libraries won’t let people use their toilets. As someone who lives here year round it’s really frustrating and doesn’t seem to make sense."
JonesNewport83
Want A Better Society? Educate Them.
"College. Or at the very least, college APPLICATIONS. If you're gonna require it for most careers, atleast make it accessible for people. And I just think it's stupid that people have to pay to get rejected."
callmeventibcimavent
"Oh god I hate that so much. Same with applying to apartments it’s such a waste of money if you don’t get approved. It racks up quickly too."
Kydra96
It does feel grimy when "official documentation" that is "mandatory" has to be bought and paid for not by the people requiring it, but by the people needing it.
Forcing Us To Pay For Something We're Forced To Have
"ID cards issued by the government. Especially since you need them for almost every aspect of daily living."
waqasnaseem07
"I. Exist."
"Birth certificates"
alexchico3
"I'm not the biggest fan of free stuf but having to pay for a piece of paper that says "I exist" is ridiculous."
Spaghetti-Evan1991
It'll never not feel bad having to pay for something we expect to be free, but it feels ten times worse when it's something you need to get by in life. As in, need to live.
Let's All Agree To Take Care Of Each Other
"All base needs up to a level. I mean stuff we need to survive, eg. power, water,... and things we are required to use to be relevant in daily life internet,..."
"Seeing how now power companies are fuel companies are having THE biggest profit in years while more and more families are pushed into bigger and bigger deths just to get by."
"Same goes for internet tbh, poor kids are just not getting by in school becasue they lack the basic stuff every other kid has to get further in life. I am not saying they need the fastest possible internet with unlimited dl, but give them so they can work for school so the vicious cycle can be broken."
Amelsander
We Need It More Than Anyone
"All mental health services. If you don’t have benefits or a VERY good paying job, they are unaffordable for how often most people really need them. At $120-160/ session even once a week is not affordable for most people these days"
pennylayne77
A Fine Line Between Need And Want
"Water"
selfishnerd77
"Drinking water, sure. But water is an expendable resource and it should honestly be more restricted when we think about cases like people watering their lawns."
I_Am_Become_Dream
Paying To Live
"Insulin. People are dying because of greedy pharmaceutical companies."
Astronimus123
"But We're 'Pro-Life'" - Jerks
"Birth control of all kinds."
"For anyone who b*tches about spending taxpayer money, I'd ask whether it costs more to provide condoms or to house prisoners."
AlexReynard
"Giving birth (In the us)"
z0k0n
"As a female US citizen the more I learn about the whole giving birth sh*t the less I want kids. My friend just had a baby, there were some complications. She is now paying off a 14k hospital bill! The lowest I have hears is 8k. 8k just to have a f-cking kid! For a country that is gung-ho about forcing women to have kids they have missed the mark completely."
Main-Yogurtcloset-82
Everyone is looking for their payout, and unfortunately sometimes we're the ones who have to give it to them, whether it makes sense or not.
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The worst part of having breasts is Florida.
I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is Hardio
"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
- [Reddit]
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
- notanotherbreach
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
- k_g94
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
-[Reddit]
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
- PoiLethe
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
- J09Lynn
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
- wheredMyArmourGo
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
- Pauliester
Growing Pains
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
- Individual_Ad_7523
Two Volcanos
"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
- Queen-of-meme
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
- Local_Masterpiece_
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
- PleasuredMeatStick
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
- LuckyBugHarley
Technological Advancements
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
- IAmNotLookingatYou
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
- Object_Prize
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
- AbbyNormalKnits
Double Trouble
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
- BigBunsLittleBunbun
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
- cryptic-coyote
"Exactly!"
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
- APD2269
Expensive
"They're expensive."
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
- SailorSpoon11
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
- insertcaffeine
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
- kaytay3000
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
- letsjumpintheocean
Getting Comfortable
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
- ChadweenaThundervag
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
- Skkaj225
"Am guy."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
- DeluxeWafer
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
- Miikami
Either Or
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
- batchofbetterbutter
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
- octokisu
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
- didithedragon
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
- Peter_the_pear
Attempted Murder
"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
- Outrageous-Proof4630
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
- lil_ho_on_da_prairie
It's Constant
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
- Plus_Bison_7091
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
- zapsquad
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
- gentlybeepingheart
Destroyed
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
- Originalluff
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
- I_love_pillows
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
- Rozeline
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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