If Mean Girls has taught us anything, it's that any costume can have a sexy version. Mario and Luigi, carrots, and even Barney the Dinosaur have been given the "sexy" treatment. And believe it or not, they can get trashy sometimes. Who would've thought?
u/Rusty_Walnut asked: We're coming up on the spooky season. What's the trashiest/most eye brow raising "sexy" costume you've ever seen?
Noodles?
I found a "Sexy Can" costume once in a knock off Halloween store. It was a garbage can, obviously styled off those grey metal ones. The lid was a hat. The rim had "Sexy Damage" to show off boobs.
This same "Sexy damage" was spotted all over the costume to show off various patches of skin. The weirdest thing was the wig of fake noodles that came with it.
Who said cockroaches can't be sexy?
Giphy
Actually went to a party where this was the theme, some of the highlights were: sexy balloon, sexy plague doctor and sexy plague victim (couples costume), sexy mitochondria, and sexy cockroach.
mmm yeah baby make some of that ATP for me
oh your electron transport chain is so hot mmm
Best response ever.
A friend and I had a competition one year to see who could pull off the dumbest sexy costume... She made a mean 'Sexy Dumbledore'.
Sexy Dumbledore would definitely be the head master.
But like....why tho?
This one isn't sexy but it happened at work and was so baffling that this guy got a suspended from work by HR
We were told NOT TO WEAR COSTUMES. We were simply not allowed. No big deal, we're all adults and it's a professional work environment. Some of my coworkers dared another absolutely stupid coworker to wear one anyways. This guy really wanted to wear a costume anyways. He comes in the next day dressed as a Vietnamese rice farmer.
Doesn't sound so bad. Sam is Vietnamese anyways, and it sounds like a culturally enlightening experience to see how a Vietnamese rice farmer looks. Only Sam came in wearing his business work clothes and the only thing different was a yellow piece of paper cut out in the shape of a mask with two slants drawn where the eyes should be. He also made a hat out of newspaper. He was laughing so hard for the first few hours of the day and we were laughing too but only because we were all completely thrown off by what we were seeing. He didn't need a mask at all, let alone a yellow one.
Needless to say, he got fired shortly after for doing other stupid s**t.
ALWAYS too soon.
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Right after Steve Irwin died, a guy I know went as a stripper version of Steve, and his girlfriend was a sexy stingray. It was too soon.
My brother got a stuffed animal stingray, got clothes to fit the Steve Irwin look, then showed up at the party with the sting ray attached to his chest and bloody spot on his shirt where it was attached. He reprised the costume two years ago.
EDIT: I remember now, he decided to do the costume after the South Park Hell on Earth episode.
Um....
I worked at a brokerage firm back in 2002 when the post 9/11 tech bubble market had gone all to hell. Like down 40 or 50%.
One of the admins came to work as a beauty queen. Her sash said, "Ms. NASDAQ."
She wore a torn sequined dress, run laced stockings, had fake blood all over her, a black eye, a couple teeth blacked out, disheveled hair, and a broken tiara.
I cannot explain why I found it so incredibly sexy. I guess because it fit her personality and sense of humor so well.
I cannot for the life of me remember her name, but I sure as s**t remember that costume.
Woof.
My work used to do a costume contest for Halloween every year. People always wore business appropriate costumes. Until one year a guy wore a skimpy and tight "slutty catwoman" outfit with his balls hanging out and d**k
Then he threw a big fit when they wanted him to change. That was the last year they allowed costumes.
I'm shook.
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Super low effort, but one year I dressed up as the Greased-up Deaf Guy (from a couple episodes of Family Guy). I literally bought and wore only a pair of white briefs and a tub of Vaseline.
If you actually committed to greasing your whole body up I wouldn't call that low effort.
Nope.
My old co-worker dressed up as a slutty Adolf Hitler. Yup... tiny mustache, olive drab uniform top (with red swastika armband), an extremely short olive drab skirt, fishnet stockings, black boots with stilletto heels, and an olive drab military hat. It was... horrible.
Unfortunately, she was hot and everyone kind of wanted to bang her so...
That's just plain extra.
My dad once dressed as a priest and put what was supposed to be the tail to a sexy devil costume under the robe of his costume so it looked like he had a huge red-tipped boner.
He said he got some nasty looks from people walking down the street where all the bars were that halloween night. And yes, he was completely wasted.
Ordering food or, for the time being, enjoying a socially distanced lunch at an establishment is convenient, but it can take a toll on your wallet.
So what options are there?
Fortunately, there are plenty of them that do not involve nuking a frozen entree.
Strangers on the internet shared their amateur culinary wisdom when Redditor SandandS0n asked:
"What's your go-to under 5 minute meal?"
These dinner selections are super sufficient.
In Case You Didn't Know
"Quesadilla. super quick and easy to make and there's a ton of ingredients that you can add without much effort that will make it even better."
– Arcinbiblo12
Noodling Around
"Ramen and an egg, but not the traditional way."
- "Boil roughly half an inch of water (we want just enough water to boil the noodles, with very little water left over when it's done boiling)."
- "Smash up the ramen noodles, while still in the package (optional but cooks MUCH faster)."
- "Open the package and remove the seasoning."
- "Dump the noodles in."
- "While boiling, crack an egg and whisk in a small bowl."
- "Noodles should be done and almost all the water should be gone, if not strain out some.
- Remove from the heat."
- "Slowly pour in the egg while mixing very quickly, try not to let the egg touch the pan."
- "Mix as much of the seasoning packet as you like (I prefer 1/2 - 3/4 because I usually add a salty component at the end.)"
- "Add to bowl and top with some chives, thinly sliced, ripped up ham/salami and/or parsley. Leftover bacon or pancetta are fantastic crunchy components to dial up the texture."
"Easy, fast and checks so many of the 'munchie' boxes for me."
noodles ramen GIF by HUANG'S WORLDGiphyDon't Underestimate Soups
"Tomato soup and add tortellini. I like the spinach ones from Trader Joe's and Progreso creamy tomato with basil. It's bomb and it really makes a decent meal."
– ambernoodle
For people in a rush, these tasty snacks would suffice.
Goes Well With Veggies And Cheese
"Hummus is such an underrated food. It goes well with a lot of veggies and breads and chips or heck even cheese. All the time I hear hummus being listed as one of those weird, gross foods when its actually an amazing snack, or a meal if done correctly. It's not really unhealthy, either, especially if eaten with veggies (celery and carrots go great with hummus)."
Ready In Seconds
"All I do is get a paper towel, and put 5 Oreos on it."
– KeengPeach
"Then go back and get the whole package."
Peanut Butter Fantasies
"Peanut butter sandwich."
– IgnoreMe733
"If I'm feeling extra froggy I'll add nutella to the peanut butter and honey sandwich and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Goes down about as well as a popeye's biscuit though."
– saluki352
Nature's Candy
"Fruit."
"It's like cheating the system. You eat sweets and call it healthy."
Start your day without all the hassle of a fancy breakfast.
Put It In A Bowl
"Oatmeal or cereal."
– essa618
"Cereal is definitely underrated as a meal outside of the breakfast dynamic."
– johndavidcard
Thanks, Nonna!
"A very simple recipe my grandma prepared for me when i was a kid."
"It's basically scrambled eggs...but before adding the egg she would cook sweetcorn (from a can) with a little bit of butter, add the eggs and then when the eggs were almost ready, add small cubes of cheese and cook for a minute or until the cheese start to melt (she was using fontal, but any swiss or white cheddar will do). Just a little black pepper and salt."
"Takes 5 minutes to do but it's absolutely delicious, fill you up, not so unhealthy and I feel my late grandma with me."
'I tried variations with chives or spring onions, paprika or other stuff. Still good but nothing as good as a simple "uova strapazzate con mais e formaggio.'"
"Grazie nonna"
– Xelorath
I consider yogurt a healthy snack/lunch option.
I like having a bowl of non-fat plain Greek yogurt with raspberries, blueberries, sprinkled with granola and drizzled with honey.
It's packed with nutrients and gives me a nice boost of energy.
Yogurt also makes for a perfect chip dip. I sprinkle some onion soup mix and stir in the mixture. Who knew quick and easy food prep could be so delicious?