If Mean Girls has taught us anything, it's that any costume can have a sexy version. Mario and Luigi, carrots, and even Barney the Dinosaur have been given the "sexy" treatment. And believe it or not, they can get trashy sometimes. Who would've thought?
u/Rusty_Walnut asked: We're coming up on the spooky season. What's the trashiest/most eye brow raising "sexy" costume you've ever seen?
Noodles?
I found a "Sexy Can" costume once in a knock off Halloween store. It was a garbage can, obviously styled off those grey metal ones. The lid was a hat. The rim had "Sexy Damage" to show off boobs.
This same "Sexy damage" was spotted all over the costume to show off various patches of skin. The weirdest thing was the wig of fake noodles that came with it.
Who said cockroaches can't be sexy?
Giphy
Actually went to a party where this was the theme, some of the highlights were: sexy balloon, sexy plague doctor and sexy plague victim (couples costume), sexy mitochondria, and sexy cockroach.
mmm yeah baby make some of that ATP for me
oh your electron transport chain is so hot mmm
Best response ever.
A friend and I had a competition one year to see who could pull off the dumbest sexy costume... She made a mean 'Sexy Dumbledore'.
Sexy Dumbledore would definitely be the head master.
But like....why tho?
This one isn't sexy but it happened at work and was so baffling that this guy got a suspended from work by HR
We were told NOT TO WEAR COSTUMES. We were simply not allowed. No big deal, we're all adults and it's a professional work environment. Some of my coworkers dared another absolutely stupid coworker to wear one anyways. This guy really wanted to wear a costume anyways. He comes in the next day dressed as a Vietnamese rice farmer.
Doesn't sound so bad. Sam is Vietnamese anyways, and it sounds like a culturally enlightening experience to see how a Vietnamese rice farmer looks. Only Sam came in wearing his business work clothes and the only thing different was a yellow piece of paper cut out in the shape of a mask with two slants drawn where the eyes should be. He also made a hat out of newspaper. He was laughing so hard for the first few hours of the day and we were laughing too but only because we were all completely thrown off by what we were seeing. He didn't need a mask at all, let alone a yellow one.
Needless to say, he got fired shortly after for doing other stupid s**t.
ALWAYS too soon.
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Right after Steve Irwin died, a guy I know went as a stripper version of Steve, and his girlfriend was a sexy stingray. It was too soon.
My brother got a stuffed animal stingray, got clothes to fit the Steve Irwin look, then showed up at the party with the sting ray attached to his chest and bloody spot on his shirt where it was attached. He reprised the costume two years ago.
EDIT: I remember now, he decided to do the costume after the South Park Hell on Earth episode.
Um....
I worked at a brokerage firm back in 2002 when the post 9/11 tech bubble market had gone all to hell. Like down 40 or 50%.
One of the admins came to work as a beauty queen. Her sash said, "Ms. NASDAQ."
She wore a torn sequined dress, run laced stockings, had fake blood all over her, a black eye, a couple teeth blacked out, disheveled hair, and a broken tiara.
I cannot explain why I found it so incredibly sexy. I guess because it fit her personality and sense of humor so well.
I cannot for the life of me remember her name, but I sure as s**t remember that costume.
Woof.
My work used to do a costume contest for Halloween every year. People always wore business appropriate costumes. Until one year a guy wore a skimpy and tight "slutty catwoman" outfit with his balls hanging out and d**k
Then he threw a big fit when they wanted him to change. That was the last year they allowed costumes.
I'm shook.
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Super low effort, but one year I dressed up as the Greased-up Deaf Guy (from a couple episodes of Family Guy). I literally bought and wore only a pair of white briefs and a tub of Vaseline.
If you actually committed to greasing your whole body up I wouldn't call that low effort.
Nope.
My old co-worker dressed up as a slutty Adolf Hitler. Yup... tiny mustache, olive drab uniform top (with red swastika armband), an extremely short olive drab skirt, fishnet stockings, black boots with stilletto heels, and an olive drab military hat. It was... horrible.
Unfortunately, she was hot and everyone kind of wanted to bang her so...
That's just plain extra.
My dad once dressed as a priest and put what was supposed to be the tail to a sexy devil costume under the robe of his costume so it looked like he had a huge red-tipped boner.
He said he got some nasty looks from people walking down the street where all the bars were that halloween night. And yes, he was completely wasted.
I can't definitively say I've come face to face with the spirits. But I have had some unsettling feelings in the dark. Shadows are just shadows sometimes, but who can be sure.
I hear it...
Nbc Wings GIF by HULUGiphy"I was helping my dad clean my grandma's house after she passed and I went in and was trying to find a song in my phone and before I could I heard a cough plain as day come from down the hallway where her room was. She died of lung and throat cancer it was pretty crazy."
Running Past...
"When I was 5 I remember getting home from my grandpa's birthday party. For context my mom was pregnant with my brother at the time, so my parents had already bought his crib. I woke up in the middle of the night to find a women in a white dress and long black hair standing over my brother's crib. I managed to wake up my dad so he could take me to the bathroom. When I got back it was still there. It was only until morning when it disappeared. Every now and then I see a glance of what I assume is that thing running past the backyard."
The Cat
"My best friend and his wife had moved to a new apartment. I came over to visit a few times, and each time I'd see the motion of a cat in my peripheral vision. Not the image of a cat, but a sense of how a cat moves. Anyway, one day I finally cracked some joke about the ghost cat in the place and his wife was instantly saying "See! See! I told you we had a ghost cat!"
"excuse me"
"I worked graveyard shift in a dementia ward for 4 years and it was anything but quiet. I was working with a nurse one night when we both heard a resident say "excuse me." We looked around and no-one was there. I checked on the resident in question and she was fast asleep in her own room. Many of us also experienced someone whistling in the ward late at night and one nurse even managed to catch a video of it happening. It was unnerving to say the least."
Clueless
Skeleton GIFGiphy"I once saw someone short walk by me in my house. They walked into the laundry room which only has one way in. I walked into it behind them and they where gone. I thought it was my little brother but I went to his room and he was asleep. I still have no clue what that was."
- ImBolio
Now was everyone here positive they were sober? Just asking. Those are certainly spooky moments. I'd like some video footage please. Continue...
Reflections
ghost library GIFGiphy"I was up at 3am when I was maybe 7 or 8. I looked out the window and saw a woman in a white dress run across my yard. I could see through her. She was transparent like the reflections on the window."
"you alright?"
"So, my work place is haunted. I was having a really crap day, and as a cleaner, it's normal that me and my co worker will be the only ones left at night. So I was standing on the second floor, leaning on the banister for the stair case, when I heard this male voice say in my ear "you alright?" Clear as day. I turned around so fast and nobody was there and it scared the hell out of me."
- Rex-the-
Watching Me
"I remember as a young kid I usually use to sit in my bed and watch tv with my room door open while the adjacent guest bedroom next to mine would always have the door shut. I always remember seeing that door fully open and close by itself multiple times a day very slowly and gently. Never really bothered me much now that I think about it… but there were other creepier experiences I had in the same house that made me feel uncomfortable like I was being watched."
Betsy
"I went to the Betsy Ross House as a really little kid in the early 90s. Normal house but I was confused why the tour guide never talked about the woman on the chair crying at the edge of the bed in Betsy Ross's bedroom. So I asked about it. No one else saw the woman at the edge of the bed. I figured it was just a wax museum since there was a wax statue of a man in uniform rolling bullets in the basement."
"Years later, I was looking at haunted Philadelphia tours to go on with a friend and the Betsy Ross House was on it. I was like "woah! I was there!" and looked into it some more. Turns out there is a woman at the end of the bed crying and a uniformed man in the basement that people have reported seeing. There is no way that 8 year old me would have known about either of these things."
hello kitty...
hello kitty lol GIF by Animation Domination High-DefGiphy"I had this hello kitty Balloon In my bed room, it had a string and weight on it. So it was late, I had the lights on just Sitting on my bed. The Balloon turns, faces my door, slowly floats into my hallway and turns and floats into my sister's room. To this day I am scared of balloons."
They are among us and they like Hello Kitty. I'm probably rattling the paranormal cages and they'll come for me next, but I'm ready. I feel like this thread has prepared me.
Boo!
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