I love weddings. Who doesn't?
As long as there is an open bar.
I have attended weddings that left me with PTSD.
Some people's "taste" in fashion or decorum leaves much to be desired.
But even the craziest and the trashiest were a hoot.
Redditor View-Overall wanted to hear all the tea about weddings that have left an impression. They asked:
"What's the trashiest wedding you've been to?"
Weddings are a unique experience. And it should be a dream. Not a nightmare.
Ummm....
stripper GIF
Giphy
"The bride and her sisters did a strip tease/lap dance on the groom immediately following dinner. In front of his grandmother."
JohnaldL
tailgate...
"At a park. Pick up trucks with igloo coolers opened on the tailgate were the bar. Everything was served in red solo cups BEFORE the wedding. Everyone got drunk. The bride walked down the aisle drinking from a red solo cup instead of holding a bouquet. It was essentially a tailgate party with a preacher invited."
Butterbean-queen
"I Studied The Blade"
"Really old friend of my wife's. She hadn't seen her in years but was invited to her wedding. The guy this chick was marrying was absolute 'I Studied The Blade' levels of cringe. He was shirtless, wore black jeans and his arms were covered in barbwire tattoos and quotes that you'd find on those idiotic 'bada**' skeleton memes where they point guns at you and claim they'll 'f**k you up if you hurt anyone I care about' kind of crap."
"It was quickly apparent my wife and I were the only ones in attendance that practiced normal human hygiene. They were roasting what I thought was a suckling pig on a spit, but as it cooked, I noticed shit bubbling out of its a** and its stomach was swelling."
"I asked his best man if this was a properly slaughtered pig, and the best man proceeds to regale me with the tale of how he and the groom got s**t faced the night before, climbed into a nearby farm, and stole this pig. They shot it in the head and impaled it with a long piece of rebar, which upon closer inspection was what it was turning on."
"Just so happens while we were discussing the groom's recent crime, the pig's stomach exploded. Blood, crap and guts poured out in enough quantities to put out the fire. Wife and I had already given each other the 'yeah, time for us to GTFO of dodge' look before this, but yeah, needless to say we beelined for the car and left."
"We later found out the cops showed up and arrested the groom and his best man once the farmer they stole from realized one of his prized pigs was missing. The groom tried to fight the cops and got tased. He made it easy for them by already being shirtless. Mmyep."
Shadow_Researcher
dad's second...
"Probably my dad's 2nd marriage. Along the banks of a river with trailer homes in the background. He's wearing a tuxedo T-shirt and rainbow mirror sunglasses. The ceremony took place at noon: he'd been drinking since 5AM. I had to walk one of the bridesmaids down a flight of steps as she was legally blind, and someone asked me if I was going to bang her. sighs."
shibbster
Oh Girl...
patrick swayze film GIF by Lionsgate Home Entertainment
Giphy
"Surely that video of the bride walking down the backyard aisle while dirty dancing to her own crappy recorded cover of crazy has got to be up around here somewhere,"
Crash4654
Maybe wedding planners really are worth the money?
The DJ Saved my Life...
Dj GIF by Beastie Boys
Giphy
"I was actually the bartender but it was a hoot. 1st, wedding was outside and it stormed violently. Groom was hammered pre wedding."
"Hit on all the bartenders. Then the DJ got hammered, made lewd comments to women in the microphone. Then basically everyone was hammered, knocked over the wedding cake which also happened to be a table with many candles, so the place caught on fire. Good times. Often wonder how that marriage worked out."
SnooHobbies7109
In Mississippi
"My own. In a Mississippi judge's office with a bag of Cheetos on her desk. She wiped her hands on a napkin, grabbed a Bible, and did her thing with orange crumbs on her lips. Her work heels were not on because she was in her office. It was extremely rushed. I understand that she was on her break but we didn't mind waiting. Idk why they rushed us through."
Zezima-RS
Hooters
"A wedding on the beach behind Hooters. The officiant stood next to a trash bin. As if it was planned, the trash collector pulled up during the vows. Did he wait to change the bag? Absolutely not. Children at the wedding swarmed the couple like the flies around the trash can just after the kiss, stepping all over her dress."
"She bent over to adjust her sandal and a pack of Marlboro reds fell out of the bust along with her right breast. It felt like we were rubber necking instead witnessing a marriage. I’d ask how y’all knew this was the panhandle of Florida, (Pensacola) but when I read this post to my fiancé, he added, 'Hummingbird, you forgot to add the background of boats sporting Trump flags and rental jet skis.'" 🤣
Svetlana_of_Athens
CAMO...
"Camo print wedding dress that was borderline see-through. Walked down the aisle to the Scooby Doo theme. No, nobody knows why they chose that song, including the couple themselves. They divorced a few months later after they both stopped cleaning the house in an act of defiance against one another."
Much_Difference
"What? No!"
What Is It Reaction GIF by Nebraska Humane Society
Giphy
"My friends told me my dog could be my +1 at their wedding. At first I said, 'What? No!' but they insisted because Buddy is a great dog and I am a sad single person. So I put a tie on the dog and we went to a wedding."
EstroJen
Like I said earlier... "ALWAYS HAVE AN OPEN BAR!!" It's just the way to go!
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- People Share The Trashiest Halloween Costumes They've Ever Seen ›
- People Share The Worst Things You Can do At Someone Else's ... ›
I once had a guy ask me if I was willing to follow him into the woods, depending on the price of the meal.
Yeah. No steak is worth that.
Plans After...
Wait What Wtf GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Thanks for the ride but I have a date with someone else, I figured you wouldn't drive me if you knew I was going on a date with someone else and I really needed a ride."
"Online dating, talked to her for a while, finally got the courage to ask her out and then she said that as we got there."
iareyours
Mirror Image
“'You look just like my wife!'”
catalinachild
"I did have a guy tell me I reminded him of his son. I don’t believe English has a word to adequately describe my feelings at that time."
UnicornMagicRainbow
"That would definitely do it."
chaotica78
Third Wheel
"'Hope you don't mind if my mother joins us.'"
ofsquire
"Actually had a girl do this on a first date because she had anxiety issues. Honestly wasn’t bad except that 90% of the time she was silent and her mom talked over her."
"I didn’t mind that much and wouldn’t have minded trying again when she was more comfortable except that she was let go at the company we worked at and she deleted her social media profiles and she never responded on her number. Ah well."
Seightx
Liar
Lying Simon Rex GIF by Simon Rex / Dirt NastyGiphy"'Hey bro aren't you gay? I made out with you last night.'"
"Random dude I've never seen before in front of my (f) date."
JHXC16
Was he lying though?
Filter Issues
"'You looked better on Tinder.'"
waqasnaseem07
"Isn’t it basic knowledge that everybody looks slightly worse than the worst picture you can find?"
no_user_ID_found
The Past
"'My ex used to do that too.'"
xxIvyOF
"Yep. I’ve definitely had two otherwise-decent-guy date-situations sour because the ex-comparisons just would not stop flowing. No woman wants to be seen as interchangeable—I’m not here to perfectly fill that ex-sized hole in your life. Focusing on the present moment and a future we could build together is a courtesy we need to grant each other in earliest dates of dating."
LarkScarlett
Powerless
"'I'm an alpha, you cant handle my top energy.'"
Midnightgay28
"I actually left a dude in the middle of dinner, in part, for saying this. I ordered an Uber under the table while pretending to listen to him. Went to the bathroom, and never came back. That was when I was young. Now I’d just say, 'How about we enjoy this meal in silence, before we head our separate ways.'”
UnicornMagicRainbow
Mommy...
"'Mother says I should be back by 9.'"
"Saying 'mother says' just feels weird."
bunnyrut
"That gives me Norman Bates vibes."
Werewolf_lover20
"'Mother says alligators are aggressive because they have an overabundance of teeth, but lack a toothbrush.'"
sodaextraiceplease
Obvs...
just kidding jk GIFGiphy"'If you were going to be murdered, what method would you prefer. Purely hypothetical. Obvs.'"
Specific_Tap7296
If it looks anything like a Dateline NBC episode... RUN!
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Or so you would think.
Do people still knit to pass the time? Are people actively collecting stamps?
It depends on who's asking.
Curious to hear about hobby trends, Redditor gizehgizeh asked:
"What are once popular hobbies that are slowly dying these days?"
Before we've become conditioned to living on our phones, these activities used to keep people occupied.
Before Texting, There Was This
"Letter writing."
– littlekingMT
Literal And Tangible Joy
"Well the internet killed pen pals for sure. I do remember I had a Japanese girl for a penpal maybe back in 2007 or so. I honestly don't remember how it started, pretty sure some website, but that was a fun experience. But now I can just straight up talk to foreign people real time, lol. But yea getting a physical letter that someone took the time to write and mail still is hard to beat feelings wise."
– skyburnsred
Model Trains
"When I was growing up, every town had a model train store in it. Now I have one in region and everything else has to be bought online."
– Hairy_Effective1172
Pretty Rocks
"Don’t see anyone playing marbles anymore, I had an awesome collection in school."
– sheeple85
"I had some marbles as a kid in the 90s. My grandma got them for me and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them. I always imagined them as a thing kids in the 40s played with."
– Ryoukugan
People Were Moving Canvases
"Paintball has been dying a slow death since 2006. Sad, really."
– hobo_recycler
Before the general population began hating clutter, collecting was once a "thing."
Precious Coins
"Coin collecting... I'm a silver/gold nut and I'm always hunting for precious metal coins. whenever I go into a shop they get all excited because 'no one under 70 collects coins anymore.'"
– ThatFishySmell99
Post It
"Stamp collecting."
– spooky_scully_mulder
"Collecting in general, really. Of course there are still prominent collectors but it's slipped more into enthusiast and niche territory than being a popular hobby that you might expect anyone to have."
– iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
What A Gem
"Rockhounding was immensely popular back in the 1950's and 1960's. Personally, I think it's a fascinating and fulfilling hobby, but when I go to a meeting at a rock and gem club, I'm usually the youngest one in the room by several decades."
– filthy_lucre
People once enjoyed making things.
Admiring The View
"Stained glass. I learned how to make it from my old man, and my junior high art class teacher also taught it. Very few artisans are still around."
– brobeanzhitler
Metal Vocation
"Black smithing."
– kenworth117
"I bought a forge to try. It’s insanely hard work, and crazy expensive. I still haven’t finished a piece."
– DSentvalue
Scrapbooking
"Yeah. I'm watching the arts and crafts stores around me completely uninstalling their racks for specialty paper. Now the only thing they have is mega packs of repeating colors/images. To boot all the inclusions like papercraft/die-cut things, washi tape, scissors, stickers, etc have gotten so expensive I would rather go buy $5 bags at value village to get an assortment of things versus buying anything new. I really, really miss yard sales for the same reasons."
– Phantasmai
I envy people who have jobs that are basically their hobbies.
Not everyone gets paid doing what they actually enjoy and have a profound level of passion for.
If they do, kudos to them.
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While the process could take time, some people make our jobs much easier after spotting instant red flags.
Curious to hear about our general radar of people, Redditor xxFluffie asked:
"What is something that makes you immediately dislike someone?"
Some people just think they are absolutely hilarious and never realize they're the only ones laughing.
Next In Line
"They laugh about having screwed someone else over. If you think you're not next, well, you'll learn."
– whiznat
Unfunny
"when you mention you don't like a thing and they immediately do that thing 'as a joke.'"
– wayfinder
Playing Devil's Advocate
"Kneejerk contrarians. People who, no matter what you say you like or believe, just have to dismiss it and say they like or think the opposite."
– BubbhaJebus
People who put others down get slammed here.
Bad Parents
"When they treat their kids sh**ty in public. I don't mean handling tantrums, setting a rule, having to hurry to the train etc. I mean perfectly normal-behaved kids getting in trouble for trailing along peacefully, looking at things, asking questions etc."
"If you don't like tiny humans who learn the world, why have them??"
– raxeira-etterath
Public Humiliation
"Treating people sh**ty in public for laughs. Like being rude to service workers because they think it’s funny. Big red flag."
– Ok_Personality_1080
Simply Uncalled For
"Someone who is a d*ck to other people or animals for no reason."
– xebt1000
Those with ulterior motives rubs people the wrong way.
The Scheme
"If they try to get me to join their MLM scheme."
– spazmcgee1
Hard Sell
"A guy I used to be friends with in high school reached out a couple of years after graduating about a business opportunity he wanted my opinion on because 'you've always been smart', then he set up a Skype call and brought some other dude into the call and they started trying to sell me on what was clearly an MLM scheme. The guy went from friend to 'I'm never talking to you again' in a matter of 10 minutes."
– Mental-Afternoon-164
A Timeline
"Good gawd, this! I've had more than one exposure to this abject bullsh**tery..."
- Back in the late 80's/early 90's I was invited to a meeting of literally the OG "Pyramid" where you're recruited to pay in, and then you go out and recruit others to pay in, and the last in line got f'kall.
- In 1995 I had a coworker try to reel me into Amway, which was a hard no.
- In 2000 it was Pampered Chef, though to be fair they did have useful products.
- In 2009 a coworker tried to get me into some stupid video calling service that was obviously stupid from the description. He even got offended when I called bullsh*t.
– Mystical_Cat
Too much ego is a no-go.
I Can Do Better
"Being a b*tch just to stroke their own ego."
"We get it, you can lift 5lbs more than the 12 year old, you don't have to rub it in their face just because you're slightly better"
– Livia_Pivia
Can't Top This
"Oh, you did <story that's been told>? That's nothing! I did <implausible story>.
"I get the whole empathy through relating common experience, and I'm someone who does that (which drives some people crazy on its own), but there's a big different by empathising through common experience, and one-upmanship."
– Tisarwat
Lacking Conversational Etiquette
"Starting to talk over me when I was already talking."
"Stop it you rude, arrogant jerk."
– R33Gtst
If one or more of these traits sound familiar to you, you're not alone.
We don't have time for braggadocios, pyramid-schemers, and conversation interrupters.
And that's just for starters.
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Pleading to deaf ears...
"My dad told me he had hearing loss and couldn't hear me if I whined because my pitch would get too high."
"Would completely ignore me until I asked him questions in a normal voice."
"Trusted him implicitly until I was 12 and he yelled at my younger brother for whining."- Tyrion_Stark.
Get it while you can.
"That they took everything off the shelves when the supermarket closed."- fgyfddg.
venezuela empty shelves GIF by euronewsGiphySilly superstitions.
"My grandfather used to tell me that if I played with the fire, I'd pee the bed."
"I believed him for a while, until I got older."
"I think he was just trying to protect me from the fire."- teddypa1981.
"Rain, rain go away..."
"That if it was raining where I was, it was raining everywhere in the world."- morningshartz.
Age is just a number.
"My parents used to seem really old to me, so much so I believed they grew up like cave people as children, wearing giant leaves for clothes and what not."- Laleena_.
Hammer Floor GIF by VPROGiphySo that's how they're made!
"That smokestacks from the power plant created clouds."- Scaniarix.
An instant cure.
"The sun gives you sunburns, therefore, moonlight should heal them."- velocipeter.
Better safe than sorry.
"Don't drink and drive meant all drinks."
"My dad was super confused when I told him he wasn't allowed to have any soda until we got home."- hulagirlslovetoparty.
Don't believe everything you see on TV.
"There was an episode of Mickey Mouse where Mickey couldn’t reach something at first, so he tried again and somehow his arm was long enough to reach it."
"As a small kid I believed that if I couldn’t reach something, I should just try reaching for it again and my arm would then somehow be long enough to reach it."- That-Dutch-Person.
love him one piece GIFGiphyThe miracle of childbirth.
"That babies are pooped out."
"When I was like 7 I was listening to my aunt as she explained that childbirth was pretty intense and painful for her, and I was all solemnly like, 'yeah, sometimes just my poops are painful, I don’t think I could get a baby out' and she went 'um, WHAT?' and her reaction made me realize real quick that I had f*cked up somewhere and I tried to change the subject while my mind was just reeling lol."- thesoundingfurrows.
Oh to be a child again.
And to believe literally everything you're told.
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