Telling a person to f*ck off has been a part of history since the beginning of time. The brightest and best throughout the centuries have done it, and have paved the way for us everyday folk to do it too. Here are some of history's best "f*ck you" moments, courtesy of Reddit.
u/paddyw23 asked: What is the most "f*ck you" moment in history?
I love this level of petty.
Cromwell was so hated that after he was dead and buried, they exhumed his corpse so that they could execute him. He was drawn and quartered with his head piked on London Bridge two and a half years after he died.
On a similar note, the Cadaver Synod is both a thing that happened, and objectively the most metal band name possible.
A Pope dug up his dead predecessor so he could put the corpse on trial. The corpse was found guilty, retroactively de-Poped, and buried in a pauper's grave. Then the Pope had the corpse exhumed a second time and thrown in a river.
The active Pope was deposed as a result of this, in part due to rumors that the de-Poped corpse had washed up on a shore and started performing miracles. He was strangled to death in a jail cell.
The unPope was un-de-Poped and re-Poped three times by two later Popes (and re-re-buried in St Peter's Basilica). He was later un-re-Poped by another Pope. Sources are split on whether this last Pope merely re-affirmed the original de-Poping, or whether he re-re-re-exhumed the body, put him on trial again, and beheaded the now-re-unPope.
It is now against Church law to put a corpse on trial.
Wasn't there a musical about this?
GiphyWhen Henry VIII proposed to Christina of Denmark, her reply was,"If I had two heads, I would happily put one at the disposal of the King of England".
Henry VIII decapitated two of his wives, was going to off the 6th but changed his mind when she found out he was sharpening the ax.
I thought it was: divorced, beheaded and died, divorced, beheaded, survived.
"And just for you tonight, we're divorced, beheaded, LIIIIVE."
I love this.
When the Nazis invaded France, the lift cables on the Eiffel Tower were cut so Hitler would have to take the stairs. Petty but amazing.
Oh it's true. The Nazis had to take the stairs to raise the flag on top of the Eiffel Tower. Not only that but he didn't climb it himself leaving a saying "Hitler may have conquered France but he couldn't conquer the Eiffel Tower."
I would do this.
A governor put a bounty of $500 on the pirate Jean Lefitte. The pirate's response was to put a $5,000 bounty on the governor's head.
Reverse card and a +4
Mood.
Probably something everyone knows by now but my favorites are the ways the Spartans would talk sh*t as part of their culture. King Agesilaus of Sparta being given a tour of another city called it's walls "wonderful women's quarters". Or when Philip 2 of Macedon, Alexander's daddy, said "If I win this war you will be slaves forever," the Spartans simply replied "If."
Nice move.
I think it's Sir Sidney Smith who had just been captured by Napoleon, writing a message for him on the wall of his cell that read something amongst the lines of "I'm not angry, because I am at the bottom now, and you are at the top, but when the wheel of fortune is spun, you will begin to fall, and I shall rise higher than I've ever been before" and Napoleon, who later got locked up in the very same cell, then read that message.
Sir Sidney Smith was an awesome character, by the way. You should definitely look up on him.
Sharing is caring.
Sony releasing the PlayStation after Nintendo's "f you" is one of the biggest technological Uno reverse cards in history.
Similarly, when Microsoft announced that the Xbox One was (initially) going to have purchased physical copies of games locked to individual users (or was it individual consoles? My memory's a little hazy) - effectively destroying the idea of "used games" - , Sony "announced" that the (then-upcoming) PS4 was going to have a "feature" where you could "share" games with other consoles.
It was a 22-second video of a guy giving the game to someone else.
Very soon after, Microsoft reversed their plans.'
I wish I was that rich.
GiphyThe fact that the founder of Lamborghini made Lamborghini because his Ferrari broke down and the company screwed him out of a warranty.
That's next level spite.
The Persians and the Byzantines had a treaty, which the Byzantines then broke. The leader of the Persians, Khosrau, decided he couldn't have that. He marched through the Byzantine empire, looting towns, until he got to the Mediterranean Sea. He rigged a chariot race so that the Byzantine Emperor's favourite team would lose. Finally, after the Byzantine Emperor had paid him to leave and stop sacking towns, Khosrau headed home, sacking every town he came across.
The best part? He came to a major city, Antioch. He took notes of the city's layout, then captured the whole population and burnt the city to the ground. When he got back to the Persian Empire, he used the money he had gained from his recent sacking of towns to build a new city, with the exact same layout as Antioch. He moved all the original citizens of Antioch into this new city. He named the city Weh Antiok Khusrau, which translates roughly as 'Khosrau's Better Version of Antioch'.
Tolkien is the real MVP.
After The Hobbit was published in 1937, Berlin publisher Rütten & Loening wanted to circulate the book in Nazi Germany, but asked Tolkien for proof of his "Aryan descent".
Tolkien drafted two replies, and the TL;DR is that he - a famous etymologist - not only questioned whether or not they knew what the word Aryan actually meant, but included the line "But if I am to understand that you are enquiring whether I am of Jewish origin, I can only reply that I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people".
"Hotel staff of Reddit, what’s the most NSFW moment you witnessed at your hotel?"
Thrills On Ice
"I worked at a hotel in a resort town in Europe."
"One of the maids called me to a room for help because it has been the location of an extremely messy sex party from the touring ice show."
"There were used condoms thrown everywhere, and half the furniture was busted."
"The poor maid was in tears, thinking she'd have to clean it."
"The hotel management called in a professional cleaning company who wore disposable suits, respirators, and eye protection."
"They got rid of most of the stuff in the room and charged a fortune to the ice show."- Abba_Fiskbullar
Get A Room! Oh, Yeah...
"I work overnights in a relatively small hotel, and at least 6/7 days a week, I hear people banging loud as hell in their rooms."
"Half the rooms have a balcony that overlooks the lobby, and those doors aren't soundproof at all."
"We had a man sleepwalk out of his room to the lobby, bucka** nude."
"We had a woman show up in the lobby in her underwear."-
Now That Takes Effort
"Night Auditor here, I've seen a LOT."
"Multiple times I've had guests come to my desk completely naked because somehow they locked themselves out.... naked... this one always confuses me."
"But probably the most NSFW was a guest who had gotten violently ill."
"We're talking projectile vomit on EVERY surface of the room, blood all over, feces, pee... everything was just destroyed..."
"Obvious call to paramedics, but I can never unsee it."- thefuzzmuffin
Vomit Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphyAmazing He Wasn't Hurt...
"I was a night shift security guard for a motel right next to the biggest casino in my state."
"It was common for addicts to hang out around the property."
"One time, this guy staying in a room did a lil too much and had a freak out."
"He was running around the walkways naked."
"I had to ward him away from peoples rooms so they wouldn’t be disturbed."
"He ended up jumping off the second story balcony and splatting on the pavement."
"He scampered up and hauled a** across the street into a car dealership."
"Not my problem anymore."- Carniverousphinctr
Will Someone Think Of The Children?!?!
"Sex party in the hot tub while children were playing in the indoor pool steps away."
"I had to break that up and throw them out."
"And deal with the numerous lengthy yet justified complaints about it."- mbgal1977
When Wigs And Disguises Won't Cut It...
"Many years ago worked at a very nice casino resort as a valet."
"Regular pulled up in his nice BMW and went to help."
"Wrote up his ticket got his keys and offered to help load up his luggage on a bell cart while we waited for a bellman."
"Opened the trunk and went to lift the suitcase and I about threw my back out."
"I wasn’t prepared for it to be so heavy."
"Gave it another go and heaved it onto the bell cart and heard a sound."
“'Mr, did your suitcase just make an oof sound…?'”
"Long story short a sex worker who was banned from the property was stowed away in there to get up to his room."- thatryanguy1
Why Stop When The Getting Is Good?
"When I was young and worked at a hotel, I was delivering a room service meal and when I got there, the door was closed but had been left just shy of being latched."
'I knocked and the guest yelled 'come in'."
"I pushed it open with the cart, walked in and he was standing there with a big grin on his face watching my reaction as I wheeled in the cart, butt naked with a woman, also naked."
"He smiled and reached out and handed me a $20 he had in his hand and said to just leave it there and close the door on the way out."
"I guess part of their kink was to show off and see my reaction."
"I was shocked, but never said anything to anyone at work."- TXjoedog
NSFW? More Like Safety Hazard!
"The most NSFW thing that I recall was the manager getting on a cleaning kick and accidentally mixing the wrong chemicals in the pool area."
"A toxic gas started to form and the whole hotel had to be evacuated at like 5 AM."- DtotheJtotheH
What Haven't They Seen?
"I did security for a hotel for a number of years."
"I've seen naked guests locked out of their rooms, wedding parties break into the pool area and jump in fully clothed."
"Had a drunk woman climb out her 3rd-floor window and chill on the roof just below."- silverwarbler
Storefront?
"Best friend was GM I was manager."
"He found over the years 4 guns, 5 lbs of weed (at once)."
"The amount of guns is what surprises me."
"Only one out of the four guns found over the years was reported stolen."- Drewpacabra
So Many Questions...
"I wasn't working at this hotel and was just a guest, but I wish I had asked the staff for the backstory."
"I'm checking into my hotel in Los Angeles and was given my keycard."
"Head to the room, open the door, and there's a naked buff dude standing next to the bed just staring at me."
"He says nothing."
"I apologize and quickly leave, assuming somehow I'd gotten the wrong room."
"I go back to the front desk and say, 'I'm sorry, but I think you gave me the wrong room. There's a naked man already in there'."
"The worker at the front desk says, 'Sh*t, not again'."
"He pulls out his walkie talkie and says, 'Security? He's back again'."
"They assigned me to a different room and I was on my way."- telarium
How I Met Your Mother Comedy GIF by LaffGiphyWhat hotel guests do within the privacy of their own room is their business and no one else's.
Even so, it couldn't hurt for them to remember to lock their doors.
