Sexuality, gender politics, gender relations, race relations, sexual fascinations. That is our world in 2019.
Heck it's always been our world but for so long we were a bland mash of amish puritans about discussing certain topics.
The cat is out of that bag now. People want to discuss and compare heterosexual and homosexual norms. Now things have gotten dicey here and there because some people may be just a tad too sensitive and some of those asking.... really need to think before they speak. But there is nothing wrong with polite curiosity.
Redditorhey_ya2585wanted to open up a forum to discuss a few topics regarding the lives of homosexuals by asking...
"What is a personal question you've always wanted to ask a gay guy, or gal but thought it was too private to ask?"
Other dudes....
"Does the idea of being with a woman intimately gross you out in the same way a heterosexual man would react to having sex with another dude?"
ThatKiwiBloke
"No, it doesn't gross me out. I just don't find women sexually attractive, so I don't want to have sex with them. So I would describe it as just being disinterested."
The Pick Ups....
Giphy"Is it easy to pick up a dude to hook up with? I feel like most hetero guys would bang most hetero women who showed a vague interest, lol. So finding a dude to bang - it's gotta be like shooting fish in a barrel right?"
PM_GUITAR_PICKS
Speak.
"Do you feel like people should care that you are gay? Like when somebody tells me he is gay I say something like cool and continue the conversation. Would something like that bother you?"
TravelAsYouWish
The Power....
Giphy"What the heck is a power bottom and also what is the deal with bears? I am one apparently and I get hit on a fair amount. I am a fat hairy man. what about that turns your crank? Is it the gut?"
"Edit for response- Thank you so much for all the replies. I have had self-confidence issues so it's good to know that these guys just want jump my bones. That's kind of nice. I'm straight and married but it's still nice to know."
glarfnag
Confidence Game.
"Why can't everyone have as much confidence as the 3 gay men that tried hitting on me at a bar a few months ago? even though I'm straight I felt pretty good about myself after the 3rd guy tried his luck and I had to turn him down. Life would be so much darn easier if people would hit on each other like those gay guys did to me."
ThatKiwiBlokeThatKiwiBloke
Sexy looks....
"Occasionally I get a feeling looking at a dude like ]'damn I'd love to look like him. Damn if I were into men this would be my idol.' Do gay men get the same feeling when looking at stunning women?"
Naturage
Gas!
"Who farted first? In heterosexual relationships the man typically farts in front of the woman first. Any time I meet a gay couple my fiancé hates it because the whole way home she has to listen to me debate myself about which one of them farted in front of the other first."
TheJuiceGrenade
Ol' Flaccid.
"Well I'm a lesbian so the whole being-attracted-to-a-man thing is very foreign to me. So I'm sorry if this sounds weird or rude or whatever. But like, are you sexually aroused by plain ol' flaccid penis? Or even erect penis? Like, does the sex organ itself turn you on? Also, is there a specific, idk, 'sculpt' that you prefer or is considered better by people attracted to men?"
"Edit: I love this thread, y'all are cool."
reallarrydavid
Now I'm gay!
Giphy"When was your first moment of 'Oh, I'm gay now?' I am personally questioning and am wanting to get a gist of when I might confirm for myself."
Farabel
Other People's Issues.
Giphy"Do you have to deal with a lot of homophobic people?"
anda1fderBlaue
"In my experiences, no, but i have a very understanding and close group of friends. I do know people that definitely have though."
hey_ya2585
How do you Know?
"Do you know fairly reliably if a guy you meet is also gay?"
Spuzzell
"What context am I meeting this guy? For a date? then yea, lol. Out in public, sometimes yea, they're outwardly effeminate... but then there are guys like me that nobody knows until I tell them."
hey_ya2585
"Ok thanks! Follow up, is there a subtle way of communicating to a new date if you're a top or a bottom? Does it matter hugely if both partners prefer being the same one?"
Spuzzell
To Do it or not to do It?
"My wife's brother is gay and I'be always wanted to ask him how does spontaneity work? Like in a hetero relationship there isn't really any prep work that needs to go into vanilla sex. But if you want to avoid any accidents you need to prep. So say you meet someone and immediately hit it off. Do you do everything but or just say forget it?"
Am3ncorn3r
Some Thoughts.
"So, how often do you get crushes on straight guys? Is that a common thing, and if so, what do you do about it?"
"Can you tell when another guy is gay/bi? Have you ever been wrong?"
"Do girls really feel more comfortable around gay guys than straight guys?"
steamtrekker
The Good Part.
Giphy"What does it feel like to be on the bottom? I've never actually done it."
PM-ME-Y0UR-W0RRIES
What I Like....
"Do you feel there's a difference between what women find attractive in men versus what gay ppl find attractive in men?"
brotherkaramasov
Not Everybody.
"Was your family/ friend's supportive when you came out?"
lillybayb93
Who Am I?
Giphy"I'm gay myself. But if I ever did have children I have no idea how our child would refer to us. Dad and papa? Pops? Murdock07? No idea."
Murdock07
The Sir names....
When you're in a long-term relationship and receive invitations addressed to both of you, do you prefer the invitations be addressed to 'Mr. John Smith and Mr. Bob Jones,' 'The Messrs. John Smith and Bob Jones,' or, informally, 'John and Bob'? Would marrying said gentleman change how invitations should be addressed? Whose name should come first; should it be alphabetical, the one the host or hostess knows best, has known longest, the one who is oldest first, etc?"
"Open honest communication can change hearts and minds. The book Rainbow Relatives: Real-World Stories and Advice on How to Talk to Kids About LGBTQ+ Families and Friends is available here to help you start your own dialogue. Do you have any questions to add? Drop them in our comment section below."
spiderqueendemon
Depends... (Pun Intended)
"Does pooping hurt the next day? I don’t mean this in a judgmental way at all but I have never wanted to do it with a woman in the butt because it seems sooooo painful and I’ve really been drawn to it."
super713
"If he's thick or big and doesn't use enough lube, sure, but only a tiny bit. It isn't even a little painful given practice/time/lube, but again, depends on penis-size."
csuazure
Being Thoughtful...
"Going to get buried in the comments, but wanted to point out an awesome show on ABC (Australia) called You Can't Ask That. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuJH4aU4svlkybwUXF2ed0dGiJ2J7P1b3"
"Each episode is a marginalised group (gays, disabled, immigrants, etc) and they have people write in anonymous questions and they have a small group of those people answer those questions candidly. It's basically this AMA, but for all kinds of groups. Thanks OP for your post and thoughtful responses to all the questions."
saythewholeword
Definitions
"This is more of an in general question, about kinda... myself? So: I am a straight(?) Guy, but I can get aroused to fembois/penises/Mtf trans. But the male body does not arouse me at all, only the penis. Does that make me bi, or what could this be?"
beruon
"It doesn’t really have to be anything. People are so quick to put labels on things that they don’t take time to realize that it doesn’t really matter. You can have sex with whoever you like and that doesn’t change your sexuality or who you are. Important thing to remember is just have fun, be safe, and love yourself. Don’t label anything if you don’t want to. Cause labels really don’t matter. At the end of the day you’re still 100% genuinely you."
cody_1849
Bi the way...
"I did ask this to a bi person but might as well. Do you get horny for someone to put a penis in your butt and for you to put your penis in someone separately?"
"Edit: I realised I am bi and yes... this does happen."
AgentM2015
"As a bi guy there are 5 different types of horny, step on me girl, I wanna do it with you girl, I want you to do me guy, I wanna do you guy, and that one time I ate a slice of red velvet cake and I got an erection because it was so good."
TheFallen1ne
Mom Advice
"I'm a mother of a gay son (14). He hasn't started dating yet but has had several crushes. What do you wish your parents taught you about dating as a gay teen? I'm also a bit stumped on the whole birds and bees talk. He got the traditional birds and bees talk when he was younger, but I'm not sure how to prepare him for future sexual encounters other than telling him to wear a condom."
candleshoe
"I don't really think there are special rules here for gay kids vs straight kids when it comes to being an idiot teenager dating. The best you can really do is raise a kid who is confident enough to say something or bail on a situation that they don't feel comfortable with, yeah?"
"The heartbreak and pain are features of the experience and you won't do him any favors by sparing him those youthful heartaches. Maybe steer him towards PFLAG or some kind of LGBT youth group so there are people he can talk to or network with -- your resources are going to depend highly on city here. Oh, and above all, watch out for suicide since his chance is between 60 and 80% higher than the other kids. Sorry for scaring you with that one. The Trevor Project - GLSEN - PFLAG"
"PM me if you wanna bounce anything off me."
Killin' It
Dance Dancing GIF by tv2norgeGiphy"How the hell y'all always kill it on the dance floor? I've met 12 gay dudes in my life and every single one of em freakin' owns the floor like it has their name on it. I just flop around and call it dancing."
Kryrimstercat115
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Redditor Ok_Security_8657 wanted to hear about the times we've had to suffer through, so they asked:
"What is the most painful thing you've ever experienced, *on purpose*?"
Let's see what stories Reddit had to contribute.
Twice?!
Season 2 Couch GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy"Novocaine doesn't work on me. For submarine service you have to have all of your wisdom teeth removed. The Navy does not use anything other than novocaine. They only pull two at a time though. I went back the second time."
LeepII
Salted
"I cut my thumb pretty bad years ago while using a knife in my kitchen. And looking at the salt shaker on the counter I got the idea to literally. Pour salt on a wound. It was like an electric shock was sent through my nervous system. A short but very intense feeling of pain. Use salt water/saline instead."
SidOfBee
"Technically it is an electric shock as salt has negative ion that if the condition is correct it would shock your nerves."
Kaperal
Feel It
"I have a friend who got a lung biopsy WITHOUT numbing and pain meds. She was 14. She said she wanted to 'feel it' like the biopsy on her knee (which did, in fact, use drugs). She says it was the most painful experience of her life. She had 26 cancerous tumors big enough to show up when on the scan of her lungs. She is happily married, alive and well, and a total bada**."
_ohhello
Welp
"I cut my arm open trying to catch a falling glass once. Saw the insides. To be thorough, I cleaned the wound by alternating squirting isopropyl alcohol and hydrogen peroxide in it. A little later my surgeon friend told me soap and water would have been good enough to clean it. Welp."
sbvp
"Next time use coffee grounds. I've also heard of people using chili powder but that seems like it'd be nasty."
Lordofdogmonsters
Motionless
Jake Johnson Pain GIF by New GirlGiphy"IUD fitting. Thought it was all fine because I didn't have too much pain during the procedure... 12 hours later I could not move from the pain and had to get my mum to deliver pain killers to my flat at 7am next morning bc I'd gone through everything we had."
Chance-Bread-315
Painkillers 24/7 for somethings please.
WHITE HOT AGONY
madeline kahn flames GIFGiphy"Recently, I had a couple plantars warts cut out of my feet. The shots they use to numb you suuuuck. Went right into the bottom of each of my feet under the big toes. WHITE HOT AGONY. Thankfully, the pain doesn't last very long, and the operation was pretty much painless after that."
NervousCap
Not Cool
"Getting my eyes washed after being Pepper sprayed. We were given a chance to experience the proper stuff while in military. My mind went 'Hell yeah, that will be cool!' Well, got sprayed, had to walk 5 meters to a person holding a water bottle so he could rinse my eyes. Motherf**ker had warm/hot water in the bottle and he poured it to my face."
"It burned even more and I got waterboarded at the same time."
"I've heard that you can experience pain that makes you fear you will die. Maybe, but at that moment I learned that you can feel pain that makes you fear that you might not die, and you have to suffer that pain."
Tit_U_Lum
Bad Removal
"The most painful experience of my life was passing a kidney stone, though whether or not it can be considered to have been experienced on purpose is debatable. I certainly contributed to its development through my choices, but that’s another story."
"On the other hand, I had an ingrown toenail removed before."
"After removing the entire side of the nail, the doctor chemically burned the exposed nail bed with a chemical called phenol. Even though my toe was entirely numb, it was the most white hot searing pain ever. It hurt so bad it took my breath away. The best part is that the toenail came back, and I’m getting it done again in two weeks."
Gordoniscool666
Truth Hurts
"Decided I had to tell the woman I fell in love with that I had feelings for her. I knew before I told her that she would reject me. She was not in a mentally healthy place and didn’t want to be with ANYONE. But I wanted her to know the truth. So I took the rejection like a man and we are still friends."
Horror-School-6713
Done
"Putting my wedding ring on our bedroom dresser (knowing my marriage was over) while my wife was across town doing a police officer she had met at the shooting range. I walked out of our house and have not spoken to or seen her since. That was over 40 years ago."
wyoflyboy68
Bye Bye
Sad Rabbit GIF by Muffin & NutsGiphy"Putting my dog down. She passed in my arms. There's a song that I associate with her which I can't hear without tearing up, despite her exiting my life more than a decade ago."
GeebusNZ
These are some brave folks who have been through some enormous pain. We thank thank for sharing!
Do you have anything you'd like to add? Let us know in the comment section.
