Top Stories

People Share Questions They Have Always Wanted To Ask LGBTQ+ People

Can we all have a little discussion?

People Share Questions They Have Always Wanted To Ask LGBTQ+ People
Photo by Drew Beamer on Unsplash

Sexuality, gender politics, gender relations, race relations, sexual fascinations. That is our world in 2019.

Heck it's always been our world but for so long we were a bland mash of amish puritans about discussing certain topics.

The cat is out of that bag now. People want to discuss and compare heterosexual and homosexual norms. Now things have gotten dicey here and there because some people may be just a tad too sensitive and some of those asking.... really need to think before they speak. But there is nothing wrong with polite curiosity.

Redditorhey_ya2585wanted to open up a forum to discuss a few topics regarding the lives of homosexuals by asking...

"What is a personal question you've always wanted to ask a gay guy, or gal but thought it was too private to ask?"

Other dudes....

"Does the idea of being with a woman intimately gross you out in the same way a heterosexual man would react to having sex with another dude?"


"No, it doesn't gross me out. I just don't find women sexually attractive, so I don't want to have sex with them. So I would describe it as just being disinterested."


The Pick Ups....


"Is it easy to pick up a dude to hook up with? I feel like most hetero guys would bang most hetero women who showed a vague interest, lol. So finding a dude to bang - it's gotta be like shooting fish in a barrel right?"



"Do you feel like people should care that you are gay? Like when somebody tells me he is gay I say something like cool and continue the conversation. Would something like that bother you?"


The Power....


"What the heck is a power bottom and also what is the deal with bears? I am one apparently and I get hit on a fair amount. I am a fat hairy man. what about that turns your crank? Is it the gut?"

"Edit for response- Thank you so much for all the replies. I have had self-confidence issues so it's good to know that these guys just want jump my bones. That's kind of nice. I'm straight and married but it's still nice to know."


Confidence Game. 

"Why can't everyone have as much confidence as the 3 gay men that tried hitting on me at a bar a few months ago? even though I'm straight I felt pretty good about myself after the 3rd guy tried his luck and I had to turn him down. Life would be so much darn easier if people would hit on each other like those gay guys did to me."


Sexy looks.... 

"Occasionally I get a feeling looking at a dude like ]'damn I'd love to look like him. Damn if I were into men this would be my idol.' Do gay men get the same feeling when looking at stunning women?"



"Who farted first? In heterosexual relationships the man typically farts in front of the woman first. Any time I meet a gay couple my fiancé hates it because the whole way home she has to listen to me debate myself about which one of them farted in front of the other first."


Ol' Flaccid. 

"Well I'm a lesbian so the whole being-attracted-to-a-man thing is very foreign to me. So I'm sorry if this sounds weird or rude or whatever. But like, are you sexually aroused by plain ol' flaccid penis? Or even erect penis? Like, does the sex organ itself turn you on? Also, is there a specific, idk, 'sculpt' that you prefer or is considered better by people attracted to men?"

"Edit: I love this thread, y'all are cool."


Now I'm gay!


"When was your first moment of 'Oh, I'm gay now?' I am personally questioning and am wanting to get a gist of when I might confirm for myself."


Other People's Issues.


"Do you have to deal with a lot of homophobic people?"


"In my experiences, no, but i have a very understanding and close group of friends. I do know people that definitely have though."


How do you Know?

"Do you know fairly reliably if a guy you meet is also gay?"


"What context am I meeting this guy? For a date? then yea, lol. Out in public, sometimes yea, they're outwardly effeminate... but then there are guys like me that nobody knows until I tell them."


"Ok thanks! Follow up, is there a subtle way of communicating to a new date if you're a top or a bottom? Does it matter hugely if both partners prefer being the same one?"


To Do it or not to do It?

"My wife's brother is gay and I'be always wanted to ask him how does spontaneity work? Like in a hetero relationship there isn't really any prep work that needs to go into vanilla sex. But if you want to avoid any accidents you need to prep. So say you meet someone and immediately hit it off. Do you do everything but or just say forget it?"


Some Thoughts. 

"So, how often do you get crushes on straight guys? Is that a common thing, and if so, what do you do about it?"

"Can you tell when another guy is gay/bi? Have you ever been wrong?"

"Do girls really feel more comfortable around gay guys than straight guys?"


The Good Part.


"What does it feel like to be on the bottom? I've never actually done it."


What I Like....

"Do you feel there's a difference between what women find attractive in men versus what gay ppl find attractive in men?"


Not Everybody. 

"Was your family/ friend's supportive when you came out?"


Who Am I?


"I'm gay myself. But if I ever did have children I have no idea how our child would refer to us. Dad and papa? Pops? Murdock07? No idea."


The Sir names....

When you're in a long-term relationship and receive invitations addressed to both of you, do you prefer the invitations be addressed to 'Mr. John Smith and Mr. Bob Jones,' 'The Messrs. John Smith and Bob Jones,' or, informally, 'John and Bob'? Would marrying said gentleman change how invitations should be addressed? Whose name should come first; should it be alphabetical, the one the host or hostess knows best, has known longest, the one who is oldest first, etc?"

"Open honest communication can change hearts and minds. The book Rainbow Relatives: Real-World Stories and Advice on How to Talk to Kids About LGBTQ+ Families and Friends is available here to help you start your own dialogue. Do you have any questions to add? Drop them in our comment section below."


Depends... (Pun Intended)

"Does pooping hurt the next day? I don’t mean this in a judgmental way at all but I have never wanted to do it with a woman in the butt because it seems sooooo painful and I’ve really been drawn to it."


"If he's thick or big and doesn't use enough lube, sure, but only a tiny bit. It isn't even a little painful given practice/time/lube, but again, depends on penis-size."


Being Thoughtful...

"Going to get buried in the comments, but wanted to point out an awesome show on ABC (Australia) called You Can't Ask That."

"Each episode is a marginalised group (gays, disabled, immigrants, etc) and they have people write in anonymous questions and they have a small group of those people answer those questions candidly. It's basically this AMA, but for all kinds of groups. Thanks OP for your post and thoughtful responses to all the questions."



"This is more of an in general question, about kinda... myself? So: I am a straight(?) Guy, but I can get aroused to fembois/penises/Mtf trans. But the male body does not arouse me at all, only the penis. Does that make me bi, or what could this be?"


"It doesn’t really have to be anything. People are so quick to put labels on things that they don’t take time to realize that it doesn’t really matter. You can have sex with whoever you like and that doesn’t change your sexuality or who you are. Important thing to remember is just have fun, be safe, and love yourself. Don’t label anything if you don’t want to. Cause labels really don’t matter. At the end of the day you’re still 100% genuinely you."


Bi the way...

"I did ask this to a bi person but might as well. Do you get horny for someone to put a penis in your butt and for you to put your penis in someone separately?"

"Edit: I realised I am bi and yes... this does happen."


"As a bi guy there are 5 different types of horny, step on me girl, I wanna do it with you girl, I want you to do me guy, I wanna do you guy, and that one time I ate a slice of red velvet cake and I got an erection because it was so good."


Mom Advice

"I'm a mother of a gay son (14). He hasn't started dating yet but has had several crushes. What do you wish your parents taught you about dating as a gay teen? I'm also a bit stumped on the whole birds and bees talk. He got the traditional birds and bees talk when he was younger, but I'm not sure how to prepare him for future sexual encounters other than telling him to wear a condom."


"I don't really think there are special rules here for gay kids vs straight kids when it comes to being an idiot teenager dating. The best you can really do is raise a kid who is confident enough to say something or bail on a situation that they don't feel comfortable with, yeah?"

"The heartbreak and pain are features of the experience and you won't do him any favors by sparing him those youthful heartaches. Maybe steer him towards PFLAG or some kind of LGBT youth group so there are people he can talk to or network with -- your resources are going to depend highly on city here. Oh, and above all, watch out for suicide since his chance is between 60 and 80% higher than the other kids. Sorry for scaring you with that one. The Trevor Project - GLSEN - PFLAG"

"PM me if you wanna bounce anything off me."


Killin' It

Dance Dancing GIF by tv2norgeGiphy

"How the hell y'all always kill it on the dance floor? I've met 12 gay dudes in my life and every single one of em freakin' owns the floor like it has their name on it. I just flop around and call it dancing."


Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.