People Share Questions They Have Always Wanted To Ask LGBTQ+ People

Can we all have a little discussion?

People Share Questions They Have Always Wanted To Ask LGBTQ+ People
Photo by Drew Beamer on Unsplash

Sexuality, gender politics, gender relations, race relations, sexual fascinations. That is our world in 2019.

Heck it's always been our world but for so long we were a bland mash of amish puritans about discussing certain topics.

The cat is out of that bag now. People want to discuss and compare heterosexual and homosexual norms. Now things have gotten dicey here and there because some people may be just a tad too sensitive and some of those asking.... really need to think before they speak. But there is nothing wrong with polite curiosity.

Redditorhey_ya2585wanted to open up a forum to discuss a few topics regarding the lives of homosexuals by asking...

"What is a personal question you've always wanted to ask a gay guy, or gal but thought it was too private to ask?"

Other dudes....

"Does the idea of being with a woman intimately gross you out in the same way a heterosexual man would react to having sex with another dude?"


"No, it doesn't gross me out. I just don't find women sexually attractive, so I don't want to have sex with them. So I would describe it as just being disinterested."


The Pick Ups....


"Is it easy to pick up a dude to hook up with? I feel like most hetero guys would bang most hetero women who showed a vague interest, lol. So finding a dude to bang - it's gotta be like shooting fish in a barrel right?"



"Do you feel like people should care that you are gay? Like when somebody tells me he is gay I say something like cool and continue the conversation. Would something like that bother you?"


The Power....


"What the heck is a power bottom and also what is the deal with bears? I am one apparently and I get hit on a fair amount. I am a fat hairy man. what about that turns your crank? Is it the gut?"

"Edit for response- Thank you so much for all the replies. I have had self-confidence issues so it's good to know that these guys just want jump my bones. That's kind of nice. I'm straight and married but it's still nice to know."


Confidence Game. 

"Why can't everyone have as much confidence as the 3 gay men that tried hitting on me at a bar a few months ago? even though I'm straight I felt pretty good about myself after the 3rd guy tried his luck and I had to turn him down. Life would be so much darn easier if people would hit on each other like those gay guys did to me."


Sexy looks.... 

"Occasionally I get a feeling looking at a dude like ]'damn I'd love to look like him. Damn if I were into men this would be my idol.' Do gay men get the same feeling when looking at stunning women?"



"Who farted first? In heterosexual relationships the man typically farts in front of the woman first. Any time I meet a gay couple my fiancé hates it because the whole way home she has to listen to me debate myself about which one of them farted in front of the other first."


Ol' Flaccid. 

"Well I'm a lesbian so the whole being-attracted-to-a-man thing is very foreign to me. So I'm sorry if this sounds weird or rude or whatever. But like, are you sexually aroused by plain ol' flaccid penis? Or even erect penis? Like, does the sex organ itself turn you on? Also, is there a specific, idk, 'sculpt' that you prefer or is considered better by people attracted to men?"

"Edit: I love this thread, y'all are cool."


Now I'm gay!


"When was your first moment of 'Oh, I'm gay now?' I am personally questioning and am wanting to get a gist of when I might confirm for myself."


Other People's Issues.


"Do you have to deal with a lot of homophobic people?"


"In my experiences, no, but i have a very understanding and close group of friends. I do know people that definitely have though."


How do you Know?

"Do you know fairly reliably if a guy you meet is also gay?"


"What context am I meeting this guy? For a date? then yea, lol. Out in public, sometimes yea, they're outwardly effeminate... but then there are guys like me that nobody knows until I tell them."


"Ok thanks! Follow up, is there a subtle way of communicating to a new date if you're a top or a bottom? Does it matter hugely if both partners prefer being the same one?"


To Do it or not to do It?

"My wife's brother is gay and I'be always wanted to ask him how does spontaneity work? Like in a hetero relationship there isn't really any prep work that needs to go into vanilla sex. But if you want to avoid any accidents you need to prep. So say you meet someone and immediately hit it off. Do you do everything but or just say forget it?"


Some Thoughts. 

"So, how often do you get crushes on straight guys? Is that a common thing, and if so, what do you do about it?"

"Can you tell when another guy is gay/bi? Have you ever been wrong?"

"Do girls really feel more comfortable around gay guys than straight guys?"


The Good Part.


"What does it feel like to be on the bottom? I've never actually done it."


What I Like....

"Do you feel there's a difference between what women find attractive in men versus what gay ppl find attractive in men?"


Not Everybody. 

"Was your family/ friend's supportive when you came out?"


Who Am I?


"I'm gay myself. But if I ever did have children I have no idea how our child would refer to us. Dad and papa? Pops? Murdock07? No idea."


The Sir names....

When you're in a long-term relationship and receive invitations addressed to both of you, do you prefer the invitations be addressed to 'Mr. John Smith and Mr. Bob Jones,' 'The Messrs. John Smith and Bob Jones,' or, informally, 'John and Bob'? Would marrying said gentleman change how invitations should be addressed? Whose name should come first; should it be alphabetical, the one the host or hostess knows best, has known longest, the one who is oldest first, etc?"

"Open honest communication can change hearts and minds. The book Rainbow Relatives: Real-World Stories and Advice on How to Talk to Kids About LGBTQ+ Families and Friends is available here to help you start your own dialogue. Do you have any questions to add? Drop them in our comment section below."


Depends... (Pun Intended)

"Does pooping hurt the next day? I don’t mean this in a judgmental way at all but I have never wanted to do it with a woman in the butt because it seems sooooo painful and I’ve really been drawn to it."


"If he's thick or big and doesn't use enough lube, sure, but only a tiny bit. It isn't even a little painful given practice/time/lube, but again, depends on penis-size."


Being Thoughtful...

"Going to get buried in the comments, but wanted to point out an awesome show on ABC (Australia) called You Can't Ask That."

"Each episode is a marginalised group (gays, disabled, immigrants, etc) and they have people write in anonymous questions and they have a small group of those people answer those questions candidly. It's basically this AMA, but for all kinds of groups. Thanks OP for your post and thoughtful responses to all the questions."



"This is more of an in general question, about kinda... myself? So: I am a straight(?) Guy, but I can get aroused to fembois/penises/Mtf trans. But the male body does not arouse me at all, only the penis. Does that make me bi, or what could this be?"


"It doesn’t really have to be anything. People are so quick to put labels on things that they don’t take time to realize that it doesn’t really matter. You can have sex with whoever you like and that doesn’t change your sexuality or who you are. Important thing to remember is just have fun, be safe, and love yourself. Don’t label anything if you don’t want to. Cause labels really don’t matter. At the end of the day you’re still 100% genuinely you."


Bi the way...

"I did ask this to a bi person but might as well. Do you get horny for someone to put a penis in your butt and for you to put your penis in someone separately?"

"Edit: I realised I am bi and yes... this does happen."


"As a bi guy there are 5 different types of horny, step on me girl, I wanna do it with you girl, I want you to do me guy, I wanna do you guy, and that one time I ate a slice of red velvet cake and I got an erection because it was so good."


Mom Advice

"I'm a mother of a gay son (14). He hasn't started dating yet but has had several crushes. What do you wish your parents taught you about dating as a gay teen? I'm also a bit stumped on the whole birds and bees talk. He got the traditional birds and bees talk when he was younger, but I'm not sure how to prepare him for future sexual encounters other than telling him to wear a condom."


"I don't really think there are special rules here for gay kids vs straight kids when it comes to being an idiot teenager dating. The best you can really do is raise a kid who is confident enough to say something or bail on a situation that they don't feel comfortable with, yeah?"

"The heartbreak and pain are features of the experience and you won't do him any favors by sparing him those youthful heartaches. Maybe steer him towards PFLAG or some kind of LGBT youth group so there are people he can talk to or network with -- your resources are going to depend highly on city here. Oh, and above all, watch out for suicide since his chance is between 60 and 80% higher than the other kids. Sorry for scaring you with that one. The Trevor Project - GLSEN - PFLAG"

"PM me if you wanna bounce anything off me."


Killin' It

Dance Dancing GIF by tv2norgeGiphy

"How the hell y'all always kill it on the dance floor? I've met 12 gay dudes in my life and every single one of em freakin' owns the floor like it has their name on it. I just flop around and call it dancing."


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