Let's be real for a moment: It's always satisfying to see someone get their just desserts.
That was the inspiration behind today's burning question from Redditor taz93v, who asked: "What is the best case of instant karma you have witnessed?"
Reading these is an almost spiritual experience.
"A customer being..."
A customer being an absolute tool and treating me like a lesser being just because I work in a convenience store and was threatening to get my pay cut in half, "but then again, you don't make that much anyway".
His card declined and he had to abandon his items. It was glorious.
"So we're working Labor Day..."
I have a co-worker who's an older lady. She's pretty annoying. She butts into conversations and is braggy about the weirdest things. I think she's just really insecure.
So we're working Labor Day and everyone's bummed to be there because it's slow and pointless. Our manager offers to buy KFC to cheer everyone up and boost morale. We're all excitedly ordering when Glenda (annoying lady) shows up and asks why everyone's so excited. We tell her about KFC and ask if she wants anything spceifically. She goes on to say that she brought lunch already - a DELICIOUS spicy meal that's HEALTHY AND HOMEMADE and she doesn't need KFC but you should just SEE how delicious her meal is.
We're like "Okay, whatever anyway..." and proceed to put in our orders. Seeing that the attention is off her, Glenda proceeds to microwave her meal (her shift just started) and bring it back to literally waft the meal in front of us all "See how delicious! It's made with..." she recites this to everyone. We're all annoyed but let it pass. Finally, she goes to her last co-worker and wafts to bowl over the cubicle but tilts her lunch dish too far and spills her soupy chicken meal RIGHT into her handbag.
My boss said "That's what you get for bragging."
"I see a cop..."
I see a cop in an unmarked car on the highway and get behind her in the left lane. Some lady then starts tailgating me, escalates to the horn and flipping me off. She then pulls in the middle lane, passes me on the right, flipping me off and swearing. I smile and wave, knowing what's about to happen. As soon as she passes the car in front of me, the lights go on and she gets pulled over.
"My mom bought my son new shoes..."
My mom bought my son new shoes - he put them on and started to walk away and my mom says, "Wait, let me cut off the tag before you fall on your face", of course my son said, "NO" and he ran away.....soon as he went around the corner he tripped and face planted. Kid's had instant karma since birth, it's a blessing and a curse all at the same time.
"Guess what the cat did?"
My friend's overzealous three year old nephew was told that he could not rough-house with my friend's skittish rescue cat like he could with his big Maine Coon at home because the cat would probably bite or scratch him. His nephew scowled, stomped, and attempted to roughly grab the cat.
Guess what the cat did?
"I almost ran into someone..."
Giphy
I almost ran into someone who was on their phone, they yelled at me to watch where I was going. They then proceeded to run into a pole and drop their phone, screen down.
"Watched a class bully..."
Watched a class bully shove down the kid with the heart murmur in front of me (some exposition, fella with the murmur is always nice, but tires quickly and often fainted if they pushed themselves physically, so they're on the tiny and bone thin side - bully bait). This bully guy? Real piece of work, liked hocking spitballs during classes and everything. I'm a pretty big guy, and man I'd had it with them, but just as I'm about to give this prick a shove to match his own, the guy beside me beats me to it.
As I said, I'm no shorty... but this guy next to me, was HUGE. The bully stumbled so hard he tripped, and looked back like he was about to do something.
Mister hero met him with their glowering face, and said, "Do it, MFer." Discussion over. Bully paled, tucked tail and that was that.
"Last night this guy was high beaming..."
Last night this guy was high beaming me from behind and driving like a total psycho. He sped and I lost him. Caught up as he was being written a ticket.
"I was driving down the highway..."
I was driving down the highway in buck-nowhere Iowa once -- no other traffic except for the pickup truck that got closer and closer behind me until they were tailgating. I could hear the engine revving, trying to get around me but they couldn't at that exact moment because the road was curvy and they couldn't see far enough around to know it was safe.
That's when I saw a deer wander into the shoulder ahead of me. I had enough advance warning that I could ease my speed down to avoid the deer. Which of course infuriated the tailgater, who decided to speed around my left, flipping me off and laying into his horn.
The horn spooked the deer, who darted into the road and got hit at high speed by tailgater. Deer died instantly. Driver was saved by his airbag but the truck was totaled.
Once emergency services arrived he was humiliated enough to ask me to leave.
"Driving home..."
Driving home on New Years at a reasonable speed. Car zooms past me going over 85 at least. Second car zooms past me just as fast and turns his lights on.
Another time I was driving in traffic and someone was weaving in and out dangerously. Passing on the right, cutting people off, riding their asses, the works. About a mile later I saw that same car pulled over by a cop.
Oh another time I was a substitute teacher. This kid was being an absolutely @sshat to everyone in the room. Not doing the work, distracting everyone, not allowing me to teach... he was standing on a desk and I was telling him to get down. I told him it wasn't safe, he could hurt himself, etc. he goes to jump off to show off to everyone watching, the desk moves from under him and he face plants. Everyone laughed and he cried. It was so hard to not say I told you so.
"Had an ex..."
Had an ex throw an unopened can of beer at me. It bounced off the wall and hit him square between the eyes.
Thank you Karma!
"This dude was raging..."
Giphy
This dude was raging for no apparent reason on the street and swearing like a sailor, walking next to me. He decided to cross the road and hit some van in the back with his fist, screaming "you come out of that car and I'll kill you". Well, the van driver did come out and let rip on him so bad, he was looking like a scolded little boy by the end of it.
"Every single time..."
Every single time my husband does something to me he gets dosed with instant karma. It could be something as small as tickling my feet (I hate that) and he'll either stub his toe, trip, hit into the doorframe, etc moments later. It is a constant thing and you'd think he'd learn by now, but nope. Irritating me is apparently worth the instant karma.
"Was at a party once..."
Was at a party once, some dude stereotypical macho man was pretty much being a jerk. He was progressively getting more aggressive and drunk. Eventually he decided he wanted to leave, the party host was like "no man, you're drunk I'm keeping your keys" well macho bro decided this wouldn't fly so he waited and ambushed the host, hit him over the head with a lamp or some table ornament. (Didn't see that part, whatever it was it was made of porcelain) grabs his keys a bolts out the door, people rush to stop him but he hops in his truck and peels out. Bam strikes a tree right before the road, of course he wasn't buckled up, smashed his head on the windshield
"Was watching my buddy stream..."
Was watching my buddy stream on twitch. He and I were just chatting and the conversation turned to one of our mutual friends (of whom I've name a child after). I went on a very brief bragging session about our mutual friend and how he's such an awesome human.
When I started watching the stream, I was the only viewer. Unbeknownst to me our mutual friend also popped in but was just lurking. I found out he was there when he said something to the effect of "thanks for the compliments guys".
I got ultra embarrassed for just a moment, then said something like " well now I'm embarrassed but I mean every word".
We are all grown men approaching 40 years old. In this case it was instant positive karma for my buddy and a good reminder for me to tell my friends and family how much they really mean to me.
"My dad..."
My dad was an assh*le to a fast food worker so they gave him a bag full of chicken strips instead of what he ordered. His entire order, in correct boxes, but it was all chicken strips in place of burgers, fries, onion rings, etc. I did NOT mind.
"Then I watched him ride..."
Several years ago i watched some tool ride his bicycle down the road with no hands, holding his mobile out in front of him taking a selfie. Then i watched him ride into the back of a parked van.
Nearly choked from laughing.
"Sat in filtering bus traffic..."
Sat in filtering traffic the black range rover in front let a few vehicles in and then crept forward to close the gap, the man in the car who didn't get let through was so mad he got out of his car a started to kick the range rover.
He then got arrested by the policemen in the range rover.
"He was so intent..."
I was in a parking lot walking towards a store with two friends. Three people were walking out: a young couple and an older lady (girl's mom, maybe). I was half-ogling the younger gal. Didn't think I was being too obvious, but apparently her boyfriend disagreed and got noticeably mad. A couple seconds later he was sprawled out in the parking lot. He was so intent on staring me down that he didn't pay attention to where he was going, and fell off the curb.
"Little ricer with no headlights on..."
Little ricer with no headlights on at night speeding and jumping multiple lanes at a time without using the blinkers. Rear ended a cop car right in front of me.
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy
"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
