JOIN
OUR EMAIL LIST!
Steve Debenport/ Getty Images

It's hard having kids. Odds are if you have one, they're right next to you as you're reading this. You need to walk on egg shells, monitoring your every action, making sure you're the proper role model for them to look up to. Last thing you need is for them repeating what you say at home to their preschool class. Anyway, here's how you insult people without using any curse words!


Reddit user, u/thatude123, wanted a list of the best insults when they asked:

Without swearing, what is your favorite insult?

"I Envy Them So Much"

I envy everyone you have never met.

TheGarp

Pasta-Drive-By

Giphy

May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta

Jaeretto

Whoa, tenet said insult, not verbal homicide...

Emperor_Cartagia

Not Even Wheat, Just White Bread

You are the embodiment of wet toast.

Slymate

We'll Get Those Molecules Back Later

I enjoy saying that someone is a flagrant waste of perfectly good oxygen.

oatwife

Cultural, Verbal Smackdown

Sometimes in Australia, though it's not nearly as common as it used to be, you will hear "y'right mate?" Sounds caring and considerate, but it's all snark. It's short for "are you all right, or just soft in the head?" You can hear "you right mate?", and that's caring and considerate. They are actually asking if you are alright. But "y'right mate?" is our version of "bless your heart".

JimmyL2014

The One That Made It

50 million sperm and you won?

First_Fist

Tissue Wouldn't Even Break

If brains were made of dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.

SgtSkillcraft

*mic drop

You're the kind of guy that would struggle to pour water out of a boot with instructions written on the heel

YboyCthulhu

Wow. THAT Dumb.

You're even dumber than l tell people you are

fixer941

No Spice. At All.

If people were spices, you would be flour

sonic780

Get It? Because You're A Child.

Giphy

I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.

TheFirePolak

I Need To Report A Homicide

Bless your heart

apalacrypto

My mother's family had the variant of 'Bless your little pointed head'

ScrappleJac

Image by Mary Pahlke from Pixabay

There are few things more satisfying than a crisp $20 bill. Well, maybe a crisp $100 bill.

But twenty big ones can get you pretty far nonetheless.

Whether it's tucked firmly in a birthday card, passing from hand to hand after a knee-jerk sports bet, or going toward a useful tool, the old twenty dollar bill has been used for countless purposes.


Keep reading... Show less
Image by Jan Vašek from Pixabay

I realize that school safety has been severely compromised and has been under dire scrutiny over the past decade and of course, it should be. And when I was a student, my safety was one of my greatest priorities but, some implemented rules under the guise of "safety" were and are... just plain ludicrous. Like who thinks up some of these ideas?

Redditor u/Animeking1108 wanted to discuss how the education system has ideas that sometimes are just more a pain in the butt than a daily enhancement... What was the dumbest rule your school enforced?
Keep reading... Show less
Image by Angelo Esslinger from Pixabay

One of the golden rules of life? Doctors are merely human. They don't know everything and they make mistakes. That is why you always want to get another opinion. Things are constantly missed. That doesn't mean docs don't know what they're doing, they just aren't infallible. So make sure to ask questions, lots of them.

Redditor u/Gorgon_the_Dragon wanted to hear from doctors about why it is imperative we always get second and maybe third opinions by asking... Doctors of Reddit, what was the worse thing you've seen for a patient that another Doctor overlooked?
Keep reading... Show less
Image by nonbirinonko from Pixabay

When we think about learning history, our first thought is usually sitting in our high school history class (or AP World History class if you're a nerd like me) being bored out of our minds. Unless again, you're a huge freaking nerd like me. But I think we all have the memory of the moment where we realized learning about history was kinda cool. And they usually start from one weird fact.

Here are a few examples of turning points in learning about history, straight from the keyboards of the people at AskReddit.

U/Tynoa2 asked: What's your favourite historical fact?


Keep reading... Show less