No one would argue with you on the difficulty of relationships. Balancing your own wants and needs with your significant other's can be a tough act, but if the person is worth it in your mind, you'll find a way. When that person isn't worth it, and you're quick enough to recognize it, then you'll want out as fast as you can.
Reddit user, u/bixbygaea, wanted people to share the awful truth when they asked:
Like Looking IN An Awful Mirror
GiphyMy husband tells this story about his last ex.
They went to a wedding together where the couple had been together around 10 years. It was a "wedding-themed cookout" on somebody's property out in the country, where they interrupted the festivities for less than 10 minutes for the ceremony. When the bride came walking down the "aisle" (they just asked people to clear a space and stand on either side), the groom was literally bouncing on his toes, he was so excited to be marrying her.
My husband looked at the groom, then looked at his girlfriend, and thought "I'm never going to feel that way about this woman."
All For You, Damien. All For You.
It started feeling like all the compromises we made as a couple were in his favor and I started to resent him.
Just Think On It For A Bit
Technically happened after we broke up, during the breakup she used "you can't spoil me the way I deserve" as one of the reasons.
That bounced around in my head for a few weeks before it really kind of clicked, and opened my eyes to how unhealthy the relationship had been
Different Goals Are Only Okay For So Long
She wanted kids, 100%.
I love kids, but I love going home after spending time with them more. Thought about this for a year; tried to convince myself I'd be a great Dad (everyone says so). I couldn't take it any more.
We had a good long cry about it, and made the call.
Yeah, That'll Do It
My long term boyfriend came out gay while dating me.
We are still good friends 15 years later
Thank Goodness It Wasn't Monopoly
When he screamed at me, in front of all our friends, over a game of Pictionary.
Is there more context to why he screamed or was he just being a d-ck?
Unfortunately that one sentence was pretty much it - he was the one drawing, a few of us were guessing, I said the right answer but he hadn't heard me, I thought it must be wrong and everyone else had heard me too so didn't guess the same answer again. At the end of the turn when we hadn't got the point and he revealed the answer, someone said to me "hey you said that right?" and I nodded, he went off on me for speaking too quietly.
Don't Ignore That Nagging In The Back Of Your Mind
I realized that after 8 months with my ex-boyfriend. It took a while but my mental health kept declining with him around, he kept nagging on me about sex and his very violent outbursts from small things.
Once I forgot to say "kisses" before ending a phone call with him and he broke his computer screen.
Never Be Embarassed
When he told me that he was embarrassed to let his friends and family know about me
Work Over You? Easy.
After being at work for over 12 hours (5AM - 8:00PM), he yells at me as I walk into the living room, "Why can't you look happy when you see me? Dinner isn't even ready."
When I wanted to work another 12 hour shift right then, it was obvious we weren't meant to be.
A Big Move For Low Return
When I left my entire life and moved to literally the other side of the world to be with her but her insecurities stayed the same and she only seemed to care about having a wedding ceremony above all else.
Don't Take It TOO Far
We were playing truth or dare and having a pretty good time. I hit him with, "What would you do without me?" expecting a sweet and light-hearted answer but instead, he got very serious and explained how he would probably kill himself if I ever left him
Different Behind Closed Doors
He only wanted me for my body. He didn't want to go on dates with just the two of us, he would wanted me to bring our friend group.
We only hung out alone when we were in his home. He was sweet and nice before but then I broke down crying one day because I realized that I am just his playground.
He had anger issues, he would ocassionally burst into rage when we had an argument or a fight (which we had almost everyday) but I always thought I could endure it for love. One day, we had a very bad fight over something very stupid and I was left alone in the middle of an anxiety attack, and for a brief second the question "what if he ever hits me?" crossed my mind.
At that moment, I panicked even more. He was [abusive] already, but he had never hit me, but I was certain that he could, at some point. After that, I simply began to become more distant with him while I continued to think about that. In the end, he cheated on me and broke up with me, and I was so relieved.
Don't be with people who are [abusive] in any way, kids. Don't try to endure it for love, you don't deserve it, regardless of what you've told yourself.
20 Years Is A Long Time
When I realized that wasting 20 years of my life is much better than wasting the life itself and there is no amount of alcohol that can change that.
Then I divorced my lazy, manipulating, demanding, cheating wife.
Fool Me Once...
This happened to me twice with two different people - I realized I did everything to make them happy, but they wouldn't do the same.
Both of them literally kept me around for their own happiness. Both of them broke up with me when they realized they couldn't toy with me anymore.
Of course, during the break up I was upset, but if I am honest, I didn't see much future with either of them during the relationship. I was just stupid and wanted to still try and see if it would work out.
It's Never Enough
Probably just when he justified all of his cheating (5 chicks, six months, nothing physical (that I found) but lots of pics/ Skype 'sex' ) by saying I wasn't loving enough to him
We shared a bedroom in a dingy share house, I cooked, cleaned and played the good little housewife I thought I needed to be. he was glued to gaming so badly I was often left struggling with things waiting for him to get off it and help, and told me I was 'too fat' (those exact words used, on our one, and only, anniversary) for him to want sex...despite me weighing almost half what he did.
Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do for someone, they'll find an excuse
Call You Out In Front Of You Friends
GiphyAt my birthday party I ate a slice of pizza and she yelled at me that I didn't do any situps that day and I can't eat pizza. Everyone there just stopped and looked stunned
Can't Burn The Candle For Them
When I realized that what was required to make her happy was making me miserable and I couldn't keep that up.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.