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Relationships are hard. Believe it or not, love often means having to say you're sorry. It's essential to the growth and maintenance of the relationship. It's also how a relationship can come back from the brink of demise.


u/rainbowcake12 asked Reddit:

When did you ALMOST end things with your SO/spouse, and how did you fix your relationship? [Serious]

Here were some answers.

Tell Mom To Get Out

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She couldn't say no to her mom. Also her mom suuuuucked. She was super controlling and pretty emotionally and verbally abusive, calling her a whore and a failure pretty regularly. Now this was a girl who was prim and proper with a 4.0 GPA and it wasn't good enough. She was so used to having to her mom because any hint of disobedience meant days of verbal abuse and it just wasn't worth the hassle to her. I tried everything to help, from upping her self esteem to arguing with her mom myself to trying to give her more s*** then her mom when she didn't stand up for herself.

Ironically, getting married solved all our problems. Her mom tried to take control of the wedding plans and she just snapped I guess because she was even more confrontational than me. The first time was over a veil. She's really not into the whole idea of "giving your daughter away" and hated a veil because of it. Her mom wanted a traditional wedding and demanded she wear a veil. My SO went off on her like nothing I had ever seen from her and every time since then she has never been afraid to stand up for herself, even if she does have to some small things. I'm so proud of her.

Next stop, making Christmas not traumatic anymore.

The_Tin_Can_Man

The Tornado Was A Godsend

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Here's a story about my old roommate. He was dating this girl for a while, and it just wasn't working out. He told me one night that he was dreading it but he was going to break up with her. The next night a tornado knocked our house down and he was forced to move in with her. I guess they were forced to work through all of their issues, because he married her the following year and has never been happier.

Yeahyeahsout

Actually Try

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I had decided it was over before it began. I had dated this woman in high school and we had broken up. She and I were close off and on after. She always wanted to get back together but I was adamant about being on my own. I had horribly toxic friends who liked to make fun of her and being the spineless man I was I kept her distant.

I had one friend who kept a little pressure on me to be better. He pushed me to try again because he saw I wanted to. So with his help our relationship began again. Unfortunately I had it in my head that we would give it a try for a few months and then I would break it off. I don't know why I never considered it would just work.

Finally I mentioned it to my boss who also happened to be a friend who knew us both that I didn't think it would work but I was giving it a try. He just looked at me funny and said "Well why would it automatically not work? Have you considered trying?" I didn't know what to say. I just spent some time thinking and realized even if it didn't work, I needed to actually try. And it has been the best choice I've made. We have had rough patches but we are going nearly 6 years strong at this point and I plan on proposing here soon.

Poclionmane

So Far Away

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The long distance over three years was starting to get to me. We wanted to be together, but it seemed like she wasn't really trying hard to find a job where I lived at the time and there were not really any jobs in my pretty specific scope of IT available where she lived. Turned out she also only liked a specific type of job in her field.

It didn't help that I had met someone where I was living that I started to have feelings for and I'm pretty sure she liked me too.

At one point I tried to break it off with my SO... she could hear it in my voice before I could get the words out.. it was really difficult.. but she pleaded with me not to end it. So I didn't break it off with my SO.. stuck it out a little longer and got a job where she was living a few months later.

Now we're married with a couple of kiddos and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

grilledcheez_samich

Think Before You Drink

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I drank too much. I was never abusive, emotionally or verbally (the thought of hurting her makes me sick) But we lived apart for a year while I was finishing undergrad and she was in her first year of medical school. My drinking had apparently gotten to the point where my friends were concerned enough to contact her about it. She had no idea how much or little I was drinking at the time, other than what my friends' had told her and what I had told her.

She called me up one night and tearfully said I needed to get help or she couldn't be with me. I stopped drinking altogether for a while and saw a therapist for a few months, and that seemed to make her happy.

At the time I didn't think, and still don't think, I was an alcoholic or even close to being one, but being able to speak to a therapist and work out some of my other issues was helpful for us in the long run.

plasticCashew

Untold Stress

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There's been a few times where he hasn't communicated with me about work stress or how he's feeling about specific situations, and would get these really bad moods where he would shut me out, or snap at me over little things.

We'd argue and eventually go off into separate rooms. He stews things over, I process and try to see it from his point of view. I'd then go and talk to him and stay calm when he'd get angry again. Eventually my staying calm, calms him and he'll open up.

Now I've learnt the warning signs, so I don't get angry with him, I'm also more confident and trusting in our relationship, we've been together nearly 6 years, are buying a house and planning on getting married. I know he loves me, I don't have the insecurities from my past anymore (abusive ex), so when he does get a mood I ask him about his day, and listen (even though I don't understand much about his work) or I'll set up the good tv with whatever game he's currently playing and chill some beers in the fridge. When he's ready he'll talk it through with me. I don't push it anymore but I also don't let him stew to the point he explodes.

I come from a family that is very close and everyone knows everyone's business to a certain extent. My OH's family are very reserved in comparison, we've had to learn each others quirks from being raised so differently.

nose_ina_book

It's Not A Real Problem

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I almost did once (years ago) when we were dating because I just couldn't get her to leave me tf alone every now and then. I thought she was too clingy. Sometimes I felt like she lacked any common sense and it bothered the hell out of me.

To be honest, at the time I didn't break up with her because I was too scared that it was a mistake. I brought it up with her that I was pretty unhappy and I subconsciously wanted her to end it. I knew she wouldn't, because she wasn't that type of person. She was 100% committed to me regardless of whether or not I was having doubts.

I think that's what turned it around. I realized that she had her faults just like anyone else, but it's hard to hate that kind of commitment. It was completely and utterly my own problem, and I got over it. I really just needed to analyze my expectations for other people.

That being said, my relationship was and is a good one. We don't have serious compatibility issues. There were no major roadblocks to us being together. I understand that many relationships don't have that benefit. But in my case, I just had to realize what I had.

Ovvr9000

Anxiety As A Roadblock

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My BF and I are actually still working on it. We have been temporary breaking up once for less than a month and then there were times when we nearly broke up.

The problem is my intense social anxiety. It got to the point where I just stopped going to restaurants because I would then be forced to interact with the waiting staffs. It makes my working life a constant stress, so much that I feel like I am going to die out of stress or heart attack any time soon. It strains my relationship with my BF because it hurts him so much seeing me like this. However him acting as my caretaker or minder has killed his romantic feelings towards me. He wants a strong, assertive and indepedent kind of woman...and right now I am none of those.

I have been going to therapy for several months now and amping up on physical exercise and some extreme sports. I hope to see a more positive result someday in the future (preferably soon).

EvenCompany

Priorities

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My wife got blackout drunk at our house warming party, and ended up kissing my best friend's wife. She didn't remember anything the next morning, and had no idea why I was extremely angry with her. When I explained what happened, she cried, and I needed space. We had just moved into a rental home together, and it was tough for a while. That also wasn't the first time her drunkenness got on my nerves. She locked my friend and I out on the balcony for 15 minutes when she blacked out when it was about 30 degrees outside thinking it was funny. Luckily her friend opened up the door later. I gave her an ultimatum that she had to stop drinking heavily, or else I'd walk. Thankfully she did, and two years later we got married.

Ksn0

Balance

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I just admitted to my husband last weekend that this story was the first time I ever questioned if we were in for a troubled marriage:

My husband kept telling me he wanted to remodel the basement. I told him "sure", thinking that we'd get serious about it sometime soon, but obviously we need a plan, budget, etc.

Shortly after, on a cold February night, we're sitting on the basement couch drinking wine when my husband says "Hey, can you help me load up the truck?" I'm like, "Huh, what are we loading?" He says, "The couch. I'm going to take it to the dump tomorrow!".

I was so confused. I'm like "The couch we're sitting on now?" He says "yeah. we're going to remodel the basement, right?"

Coincidentally, he ended up sleeping on the couch that night. It turned into a pretty big fight and I was *seriously* freaked out over how impulsive he was willing to act over something that is so time consuming and expensive. I'm a serious planner and I'm very strategic. For about 2 weeks, I was horrified. Now I realize that we balance each other out in this regard!

atworknotworking89

Image by tookapic from Pixabay

Can you see Harry Potter at a football game in the Midwest? Chowing on a corn dog, throwing back some good ole Pepsi-Cola? Or can you picture the Harry universe living and loving in the great U. S of A? What would casting look like against the backdrop of the great harvest plains? I have so many thoughts and ideas. The first thought, the change would never work. Keep the story alive on British soil.

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If Harry Potter was set in the United States, how would the story change?
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Image by jacqueline macou from Pixabay

They say one man's trash is another man's treasure - and sometimes that saying is pretty literal.

Lots of people build entire businesses picking up cool stuff on bulk-pickup trash day, and upcycling it into something even better that people are willing to pay for.

Sometimes, you might even end up with something pristine and usable right away.

Reddit user JampackedAlborn1976 asked:

What is the most valuable item that you have seen somebody throw away or have found in the garbage?

And for real ... some of these people scored BIG TIME. Like big time. Like really big.

Like Refrigerator Big

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"Our current refrigerator is a double-door one with exterior ice and water dispensers. We got it for free, with absolutely no problems whatsoever. It's just a few years old."

"How we got it? My dad (civil engineer) was doing some work on someone's apartment when they said they had bought a new modern French door refrigerator and that they were just going to discard their current refrigerator."

"My dad simply asked if he could have it.. and they said yes." - SauloJr

Immigrants In Action

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"I immigrated to the US from Brazil when I was 12. And every Saturday, my mom, stepdad, sister and I would go out at night to upper middle class neighborhoods the day before trash pickup to rummage through the garbage they were putting out."

"We found perfectly good TVs, VCRs, microwaves, couches, lazy boys, tables, books and comics, etc."

"I couldn't believe these Americans were throwing out like that. We furnished our entire house with that stuff. The entire Brazilian immigrant community in my town did it. We were flabbergasted." - PhillipLlerenas

With A Note

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"My wife yelled at me that someone put a big TV outside with a note on it. Walked across the street and it was a brand new Samsung 37 inch HDTV."

"They were actually renovating the apartment building and got an upgraded TV. Even had the remote taped to it with batteries, I guess I have really nice neighbors here in NYC." - MadLintElf

Life Hack!

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"If you want high end stuff out of the garbage for free, follow these steps:"

"Pick a city with a large university in it. If it's a school well known for its law programs, or medical, or engineering, all the better."

"Search for luxury apartment complexes that market themselves towards students. Look for things like included shuttle service, pools, fitness centers, etc. The more expensive and swanky the better."

"Figure out when finals week is at the end of Spring semester."

"Dumpster dive at those luxury apartment complexes during that week and the following weekend."

"Very wealthy international students will arrive in the US, fully outfit an apartment with nice furniture, big TVs, audio systems, gaming consoles, you name it, and when the semester ends they just junk it all because they aren't going to fly it back to wherever, and it's too much effort to spend the time selling when they do not care about the money."

"It's a smaller scale phenomenon a little like all the luxury cars abandoned at the airport in Dubai." - whattothewhonow

Literal Gold Treasure

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"I found a gold coin at goodwill for 5 bucks. It was in a case with someone's name and company name."

"It was their gift from the company for retiring. I assume the family threw it out when he died not knowing it was solid gold. It was in a in a thick solid plastic case that had to be cracked opened."

"It literally said 1 oz fine gold on it. I figured 5 bucks was worth the risk it not being real."

"It was a South African KRUGERRAND 1 oz coin. Everyone was just too busy to read it lol."

"Bought it and took it too a pawn shop and sold it for a couple grand." - streetmitch

The Best Day Of My Life

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"When I was a kid, I grew up right outside the Los Angeles area in the suburbs. My stepdad was a garbage truck driver for the city of Beverly Hills."

"I swear in the late 80s and early 90s we'd have so much basically brand new stuff (still in boxes) brought home on a regular basis."

"I'll never forget one day in particular. My stepdad came home and was like 'get ready, come to the car, I'll need your help.' So I go down there and in back seat of his car he had a few large black garbage bags."

"We haul them up to our apartment and he's like 'go ahead, open them.' Inside was what I could only describe as an 80s kids trove of treasures."

"One bag contained just about every Ghostbusters and GI joe toy you can imagine, they were played with but had every little accessory, there was a bunch the playsets and everything."

"In the other bag was pretty much every LEGO of the early 80s sets, still in their original boxes. I was a big LEGO nerd but was totally thrown off by the old school space ones because they looked nothing like the 90s space sets. I think they even said "NASA" the minifig's chests."

"That was like a random day in July, it felt like Christmas. I was 9 years old and it was basically like the best day of my life up to that point." - Zombgief

Who Throws Away Money?

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"A jar full of quarters."

"Annual spring cleaning projects happen in a lot of towns where anyone can put almost anything on the curb and it's taken away for free. It's to stop open dumping or stuff being dumped in ditches."

"Sometimes people deal with estates from winter by just dumping all their grandfather's stuff on the curb for the cleanup to get the house empty immediately. Most often they don't even bother to look at what they are throwing away."

"In 2012 on north road in Akwesasne I found an estate pile that I shuttled back and forth with my bike trailer getting lots of older tools like a scythe, hammers, saws, screwdrivers and wrenches, a 22 rifle with 100 round of ammo, a bunch of ar15 magazines, cast iron cookware, oil lamps, a hand crank food mill with all kinds of accessories, a black raven axe head (worth $100 easily since they are a collectable), and a quart size mason jar full of change mostly quarters."

"That was spring and the sheriffs office did a gun buyback in the fall where I took the mags and got $20 each for them (30 round mags suddenly illegal under the safe act of fall 2012. The buyback was a local political move). I still got the 22 and picked off a lot of woodchuck with it in my gardens." - Bogtrotterso1980

Filing Fever

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"I own a small company which is located directly in front of a state funded program facility. The state decided to have this office shred all of their files as they were going to switch to electronic data (exclusively)."

"We found two of these old rotary filing cabinets outside of their office. They're worth almost $3k each!"

"They just placed them there and we saw them and asked what they planned on doing with them. They said, 'Hmmm.....either donate them or trash them.' The state told them simply to get rid of them."

"We jumped at this and took the two into our already tiny office because there was no way in hell that we were going to let these gems go. (We do use paper files, unfortunately)."

"They wanted to give us two smaller ones but seriously, our office is very small. I made some phone calls and they were picked up immediately by other office workers/friends." - GlitzBlitz

This Sucks - In A Good Way!

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"In the 1990s my moms work had a really nice high end Hoover that stopped working. They threw it out."

"My mom took it home because my dad tinkers and repairs things easily. Turns out since it was a bagged vacuum all the dummies had to do is REPLACE THE BAG."

"Like it never occurred to them to do the most easy and basic step. My parents were excited to have a really upgraded vacuum. Maybe like $500ish." - schweddyboobs

Tiffany's Trash

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"My dad found an old stained glass window laying out by someone's trash. He thought it would look cool hanging in our cabin, so he stopped and grabbed it."

"It sat in our garage for a few years before he looked at it more closely and found "Tiffany and Co." branding on it. He got in touch with some stained glass window dude who figured it was worth about $40k fully restored, so my dad sold it to him for somewhere around $30k." - throwaway_stopdrink

Have you had any awesomely trashtastic treasures? Let us know!